Once again a fairly long post. This time about difference between EZPZ and TFM and my final step in this process (preference debunking and the importance of this step).
POST:
I think that the main difference between EZPZ and TFM apart from the view on addiction is in the fact that TFM challenges you to seek out the beliefs behind your preferences as to debunk them where EZPZ kinda forces this one viewpoint of pmo in a dogmatic way: “Of course it’s not making you happy, it’s just pixels on a screen”. This might work at first but I think that a long lasting preference change is made by debunking your preferences yourself instead of just accepting and trying to agree with what some book says about your preference.
The thing is that yes, it’s just pixels on a screen but the fact of the matter is that you have a build a relation with those pixels which is probably, in the long term, not going to be altered much by convincing yourself that it’s not nice. By trying to convince yourself of this, which I think is what many people do when reading EZPZ, you are actively ignoring the very basis of this relation, which consists entirely out of your preferences/beliefs.
So summarized, the differences described above:
· EZPZ imposes a method to change your preferences for you, while TFM challenges you to do this yourself.
· EZPZ ignores the very fact why you like pmo so much and labels it as some ungraspable addiction, while TFM again tells you to find out why you like out.
Before I continue I would like to say that I’m not hating on EZPZ whatsoever, since for me and I believe many others it was the first step away from this willpower-view which is just toxic nonsense. They are very much on point with saying that it’s very easy and that pmo probably doesn’t do the things you believe it does for you. So many thanks to the author.
Where I think EZPZ has a serious flaw as a method for quitting pmo, is by the fact that it first promotes this addict identity, like there is some force that is not yours which is making decisions for you (not true, just an idea in your mind) and second, as mentioned above, that it doesn’t stimulate you to find out for yourself why pmo probably doesn’t do what you believe it does (in terms of benefits). I think that herein lies the reason why for some people, EZPZ doesn’t work in the long run, since your very own (untouched) preferences will catch up with you.
Also worth mentioning is that the EZPZ feels more like a method to quit and TFM is information which you can use to your advantage, which is also in line with their differences and a crucial important point to note: THERE IS NOT ONE UNIQUE METHOD FOR EVERYONE!! This is perhaps one of the most important things to understand if you want to solve this, the very fact that you pmo shows that you still have some preferences for pmo. Since every person is unique, the beliefs and details of these preferences will most likely be unique. This doesn’t mean that we can’t help each other but just know that your path to solving this is unique.
This is also why some if not many people read TFM but are still stuck. Reading the book is not sufficient. There is work required to find out why you want to pmo and move from there. Once you’ve realized this and debunked it, you will feel that you don’t want it anymore. If you think you’ve debunked it but still feel like you want it, the last thing you want to do is mope about it. Investigate further!!!! Find out why you do what you do. This might sound weird but there was literally a time where I would have pen and paper next to me while pmoing to write down any insights that I had about my preference. This in turn proved to me that finding out why and debunking it was more important to me than the pmo itself, so if you find yourself not wanting to do the work to figure this out, ask yourself: “Why is pmo more important to me than finding this shit out and debunking it once and for all?” This is the main point of TFM, find out why you like to do what you do.
Regarding my last post about debunking pleasure. One important aspect which I missed in the post was the question: Why did I do this in the first place, giving so much value to this pleasure and therefore wanting it to contain this much pleasure.
This question was for me the necessary link to expose this driving force towards pmo and debunk it.
What I found out was that I wanted to have something, a realm or something, in which I could forget everything and have the feeling of comfort where nothing could hurt me and I could just mindlessly enjoy myself. The whole idea of: “Oh, it’s so good” was simply reinforcing this realm so I could still have this place of perceived comfort to go to. I also found that almost everything I watched during pmo was also in line with reinforcing with: “Wow, this is too good to be true and the pleasure is better than anything in life.” At that moment, I realized, I wanted it to be better than anything. Why? Because then I would be ensured that my magical place of no worries would still exist, which I clearly wanted. Once I knew this, I immediately realized that it is doing what I expect it to be doing. In other words. The debunking went rather quick, compared to the finding out of my preferences.
When I realized this, the force towards pmo disappeared like nothing I’ve ever seen before. It felt weird, not having this place of utmost comfort at my direct disposal but I was happy knowing I had done the work to overcome this.
The weird thing is that I already thought a while ago that I was done. I had done the abstinence experiment and felt good that I didn’t felt compulsive towards it, but still there was this nagging itching feeling which kept telling me that I kinda wanted it so I decided to investigate it by, as mentioned, literally pulling out my pen and paper and figure out where this feeling was coming from. Once I figured this out (the realm of comfort etc.) I realized it’s truly gone, no more weird feeling or whatsoever.
Hope this may aid some and perhaps gain some knowledge from this description of my final process.
All the best

What can be done about the other parent who speaks badly about me and my bf to our kids all the time. It’s so bad that my son (12 and has DMDD) constantly says things about my bf, that’s untrue and repeats everything his dad says, to me about my bf and doesn’t really have a bond with him like he used to. It’s bad enough that my ex had verbally/emotionally/ physically abused my kids and now he has my son saying things to continue the emotional abuse towards me.

Any spiritual people going through BU? Please share your experience, for example I’ll start;
The break up has been well past 6 months now. I haven’t been in contact with her since Feb. at first the energy definitely felt like it was over and I had no choice but to move forward although I didn’t want to. Lately the energy has been shifting and idk how to feel about it.
January I had a dream. The dream was vivid, we attended the same party, not together but we were both there. I pushed past my friends who didn’t want me to see her, and I seen her with someone else. (I’ll get back to this.)
February in real time, something felt off. I get two flats on the side of the boondocks at 2am. I called a lot of people no one could “come” my last resort was to call her. To my surprise she showed up, not in her car. When I got in she was listening to a song I showed her when we were together. I spoke to her I said “dude you have no idea how many dreams I’ve had of you, I’ve been worried about you.” She expressed that she kept having dreams of me too and that her life since the break up has been rough and her car had been totaled.
March in real time, angel numbers had kept showing up around me. Now I never try to think too deep into it but I did. Nature, birds, warmth. Is all I could describe. Something felt like something was gonna happen. Ironically an old coworker of mine invited me to his party. I hadn’t heard from him since the break up but we were very close since high school. I show up early to help him set up and he names everyone coming, she was one of them. She gets there and I try my best not to make things weird, a hello, and a shot. We didn’t speak the rest of the night. As she was leaving my friends were blocking her but I looked over their shoulder and seen her making out with someone.
April real time, I’m not an avid rock listener at all in fact it’s weird that I even made a playlist of songs knowing I probably won’t listen to it. The very first song I added was “red by chevlle” no reason just was feeling it I guess. I’m scrolling through my IG feed, mind you we don’t have eachother on socials, she doesn’t have Apple Music, plus this playlist is private. A day after I made it, she post a picture with the very same song. Odd in a way that was the first time I seen her page pop up since, and in a way it was that very song.
May in real time, after a while energetically it didn’t feel like anything. No signs no nothing. Toward the end of the month the numbers would show. I’d hear “go with the flow” a lot from my friends and by this point I was fairly getting over her. I hung out with a friend, who I hadn’t seen in a while and they began to mention her, I didn’t say anything. They’re friends, and I’m seeing someone new. I started to see her name a lot, TikTok accounts, streams I watch, it was weird. I found out that she had blocked me. She also moved on.
June in real time, by now I’m just doing things that focus on me. Hanging out with friends distracting myself. I got a new job. Everything. It’s only the first week. One day as I’m working, I can’t help but feel like someone is watching me and when I looked up, it was her staring at me. She quickly looked away. 2 days later for some odd reason, mind you, we don’t live in the same town, nor do we work together. For some odd reason I feel a strong urge to go to the particular gas station, which is weird because I always go to the one closest to my destination, for the first time in public without any planned event, I seen her.
Maybe all coincidences that I want to feel like mean something. But curious if anyone else experiences or experienced this.

I'll try to keep my post as short as possible. I'm trying to listen to my heart and do right by me, but I need a cold opinion because I have a tendency to regret some things. So here it is: I'm in a very happy relationship ( with some up and downs just like in any relationships) it's the longest that I had so far and the one which has been the most serious. We are now engaged. Before him, I had a strange situation with my highschool sweetheart, where we started off as a young couple, then as best friends, he had a long relationship of 6 years when we still kept touch just because we had a strong connection. In 2018-2019, we had this "amazing" idea of ruining almost everything by what if we have s*x? And I developed feelings for him, the strongest I have ever felt. It was not a one time thing, but rather one year and a half. I asked him after a period of time what if we try something more? He was living abroad at that time but coming to our hometown quite often. I asked but does it hurt if we try? He said that he's been through that and it hurts like hell if we try a distance relationship. He made it clear that he doesn't want to be with me. I broke it off when I began talking my current fiancee and met with him face to face and told him at the time, he didn't take it well. He said that I'm just a rebound for my current boyfriend. He was upset that I will leave him for good and remained #nocontact for 4 years. Now a few days ago, a mutual friend of ours passed away in a tragic accident so we contacted each other to ask how are you feeling, etc. we even met so I could give him some flowers to take to the funeral because I couldn't make it. He told me he is sorry about what he said the last time we met and that he is really happy for me and he still thinks about me. The tragic death of our friend made me think about lots, and now I am having mixed feelings whether I should speak with him again and tell him that I am sorry for everything and tell him what I couldn't say to him at that time. I'm having a hard time just because I think about how short life is... what should I do? I don't love him anymore but I just want him to know that.

My baby angel is 13 years old and suddenly got sick last night. She is currently having blood transfusion - the doctor says her condition is critical and we could expect the worst due to her old age.
The same thing happened to me with my mum 2 years ago when she suddenly got sick and passed.
I thought the days were only getting better as I am progressing through my healing journey...
But no, now I am losing yet another love of my life… I am put back to the start… not even at zero but negative because now I won’t even have those tiny paws to hold whenever I thought I wouldn’t be able to go on…
I’m left with nothing… I also broke up with my boyfriend who was one of my pillars a year ago. I wasn’t even healed from the breakup nor my dear mum’s passing yet, now I’m losing my baby…
I know this, it will be my very last loss - ever. But I just don’t see any light now. If lives are so fragile, I don’t know if mine is any more robust to go through all of this…. alone. It’s not that I need someone to help shoulder or alleviate the gravitation (no one can, can’t they), I just need things to go back to how they were….
(I don’t have a father, only my twin sister whom I’m not particularly close to, and some best friends - but friends are friends…)
I don’t think I’ll make it…

Ooooo I was on this Reddit when my son was first born going through it. Yet now that he smiles knows who I am and his eyes light up the room when he sees me I’m here to say it does get better. Now that I can kind of play with him. Do his routine. Change his diapers, feed him, and put him to sleep comfortably. It does get better for all the dads struggling it’s never gonna be easy, but it does get better. I will say though I will never willingly have another one 😂. That is not the picture. He has a sister (whenever custody court does its thing) and mad cousins he can play with and adventure with.

So,I have this x I have dated for close to 2yrs.I really loved him but it got to a point I didn't feel growth in the relationship. Like it got to a point where its like since I know he loves me,he used not to do much of reassuring his love for me like he would do in the beginning. It got to a point I started complaining of how things seems to not work out and I felt like it's either we were moving towards a desirable direction or not moving at all.I raised this concerns and told him we should break up cause we ain't helping each other anymore.I felt like the ship was stagnant and I hated that. After having this conversation with him,he convinced me of how he'll work on the issues I raised so that we can progress.I gave him time but even though he tried,it was much of saying than doing. I have tried to leave this guy several times but I always failed.Got to a point where I told him I wasn't well mentally and I needed a 1 month break from everything and everyone especially him.He really begged to see me for one last time before I take the break but I told him It was impossible. Fortunately or unfortunately, immediately 1month later he texts me to ask whether the month isn't over yet.I was kinda rude to him and told him I wasn't sure cause I wasn't keeping tabs of the days. Now it's close to 2months since then and I really miss him.I feel like I should have given him room to atleast have a conversation with me after the month was over. My bestie called him yesterday and after they talked he told her to say hi to me and that I should call him after I am done with the break. Should I really call him or I should just heal and move on💔😭😂

My (41F) son (21M) is complaining about the amount of chores he has to do, which is pretty much just washing the dishes every night and a few other things every 2 weeks.
We don’t ask him to do anything else. He currently chips in $800 a month for bills and groceries and he thinks that because he chips in this much, he doesn’t have to do chores anymore and thinks asking him to wash all the dishes used to cook and eat dinner is basically abusing him.
We sometimes ask him to help with washing the car he borrows and pull a few weeds here and there which to be honest, I don’t think it’s too much work.
I do so much at home and I also work 60 hours a week and he expects me to pretty much do all the chores. He only works part time but earns around $3000-4000 a month. My husband works too but his job is also super busy but he still finds time to help me out a bit.
He said he’ll be happy to do anything if he stops paying $800 a month. he has a huge gaming setup and too many gadgets that consume electricity and he uses all the utilities and eats too much as well. I spend $800 quarterly on electricity, $300-500 quarterly on waterHe says that he eats in his room and keeps the dishes there so he shouldn’t be doing dishes for everybody because he locks himself in the room majority of the day. As much as we’d like him to not chip in, we don’t earn a lot of money and his dad and I pay the mortgage so he can inherit this house.
AITA? Am I asking too much from him?

I 19f have a friend 17f we've been friends for around 9 years now...we're very close but since last year there has been a rift between us...passive aggressiveness....i feel kind of drained in this friendship. I'm a very anxious person in subjects pertaining to academic...she on the other hand isn't very academic oriented...for some reason I often feel like she does what I do...while I don't mind it, it does bother me that when she doesn't get results she gets pissy..like I was ambitious about STEM but she while gets good enough marks isn't interested in that stream but why did she go after me and now when I'm sad about my result..she gets pissed at me as to why tf am I crying when she has lower marks than me..I mind you I study for 9 to 11 hours...while she barely studies for 4 to 5....I attend all the classes and everything that's why I get good marks...while she on the other hand doesn't work as hard but she gets good enough marks..if I get a 94 on a test she gets 88 atleast. This year I took a drop year to clear jee examination and she came after me to take a drop aswell...while i knew it was a bad idea..it wasn't my place to say anything or make a decision..so I said sure why not...I studied my ass off and when we used to give mocks and I was anxious...she never helped me and said she was going through the same shit...always cried when she had problems but I was supposed to understand because I'm doing better....we also have these reservations in examination...some quotas for certain sections of people...I came under obc...and she gave me subtle shit for it saying how much easier I have it...I was hurt cause if I had it easier then why am I the one studying for 10 hours amd she the one for 4 hours. I studied for straight 7 days a week, without break for 10 mfing months and she just lied about her situation...I love her I really do...but she fought with me just 5 days before exams and it fucked me up in the head...constantly asking me for studying material...blaming me that I'm gatekeeping...I gave the exam and the result came and I got selected I had rank of 12000s and she on the other hand had just double of my rank around 25000.... and she has the audacity to say I got the college cause of reservations even though the reservation cut off for that college was at 13000. And noww in the vacancy process she's trying to get into the same college and although things are better between us I love her alot but I don't think we should be in the same college....she's hell bent on this one even though she can get other...I'm hurt cause while I worked soo hard amd she gave me shit for reservation.. She's gonna get in, in an even lower rank with me. Idk what to do I'm just super frustrated....cause idk while she says she doesn't compete with me... I can see that she does...I told her I wanna go for certain workshops...first she criticized and then she's like it sounds soo cool and I wanna do this.. am I the asshole tho cause she also loves me alottt I can't tell you how much I love her but I also know that growth is going to be difficult if I'm dealing with her most of my time since IITs are very demanding. Please give me some advice as to how do I deal with this 😭.

looking at the fiesta 1.0 ecoboosts (preferable the 140ps) for a second car. I am looking for something cheap to run and reliable just with a little more power than my previous 60hp car. Are they reliable at that mileage and is there anything i need to look out for when viewing? I see alot of posts saying 'ecoboom' is this actually a common thing which i need to worry about

My '36f' boyfriend '35f' is a great guy. He's kind, responsible, and hard working. I love him. HOWEVER, there is a problem. His hobbies have taken over his house to such an extent entire rooms are closed off. We're discussing kids, but there's literally no place to put these kids. Due to economics we probably always will be in this house and on this land.
He's a tv news producer so two whole rooms are stuffed with video equipment.
The video production stuff has over taken the drveway. There are a few tv news vans in the driveway undergoing, "restoration." He's currently restoring an old go kart and various other machines all over.
The entire basement is full of cool toys like table saws, a cnc machine, lathes etc. These are all cool things, but again where does the kid go? I brought him a bookcase the other day, but I barely made a dent.
The basement is stuffed so full, you can't really set much down. I've asked him if everything plugged in is a fire hazard. He says it's not, but he did the wiring himself. You can do really cool things down there. However, should I worry about kid getting down there alone?
He's a beekeeper so there's endless beekeeping stuff like glass jars about
He has a shed stuffed to the rafters with things. He loves to repair stuff as his Dad was machinist.
I love that he has all these hobbies, however is it bad they've overtaken the house? There's lots of super vintage tv stuff that is going to be "sold one day."
I'm trying to nudge him in the direction or organization. Am I crazy for thinking we will every live somewhat organized? I'm a minimalist due to my own ADHD. I've been encouraging him to organize. However, he didn't even want to toss some old free water bottles.
TLDR: Boyfriend's house is overflowing with stuff related to his hobbies. No place for anyone else.

Not sure how much info is pertinent to get advice tailed to my situation so forgive me if this is wordy.
I’ve smoked since I’m 17 and I’m 25 now. I’ve been dealing with depression for over a decade now because of childhood issues. I’ve escaped the situation about 4 years ago but I’m left with an open wound that I can’t seem to close. As the years went by during the pandemic, I’ve been seeing how much of my life I waste away on this dumb activity. It’s been years, atp, that I want to stop smoking weed but I don’t. I’m self-aware about it all and somehow I’m still too weak to act accordingly which makes this so much more frustrating.
I know for a fact that it affects my work-drive, anxiety levels, memory, emotions and everything in my daily life, tbh. The job I currently have gives me the choice to choose my hours and I always end up fucking myself over by not doing shit even if I know I got bills to pay. It’s honestly embarrassing to admit “out loud”. I live with my boyfriend of 4 years and although he agrees that weed doesn’t help our life, he seems to be much more of a functional “pothead”, which means that it isn’t much of a priority for him, unlike me who already deals with shit that prevents me from functioning like a normal, healthy person and that only gets worse with my longstanding weed addiction. He’s also someone who struggles with impulse control, like he’s not the type to be able to stick to bold new years resolutions, so I’ve given up on trying to get him on board with me on trying to quit weed, which adds another layer of difficulty.
Funny (not really) thing is I don’t even like smoking weed anymore. Like every time I smoke I’m like wow I’m a fucking idiot because I feel worse than I did before lighting it but I somehow always end up smoking more in the same day, sometimes as early as an hour later which I know is borderline psychotic and I honestly don’t even know what to say about that. I know that I am the only one who can hold myself accountable and it sounds like I am making excuses for myself but istg I’ve put so many hours of thought into this and I somehow still fall short for myself and idk why.
Obviously I know it’s related to depression but the type I have is a long-term type of depression so I definitely can’t tackle the problem through “healing” it completely. I also can’t afford therapy right now. I don’t have anyone in my life except my bf so I’ve got no one irl to really hold me accountable and encourage me to stay on track. Most free addiction resources I’ve looked into have given info that isn’t pertinent or helpful for my situation. I’ve tried going down in THC % and it just results in me smoking more often. I’ve tried every other typical method to taper off of it and I’ve failed every attempt. I feel like being overly self-aware makes finding real advice that I can actually apply to my real life hard. And obviously, living with someone with whom you’ve been smoking for years that won’t quit at the same pace as me, makes it a million times harder.
How can I snap out of this never ending cycle of self-awareness, indulgence and shame? I’m determined to change my life and I want to move onto the next chapter of my story. I would love to know any “old-timey” tricks, advice or affirmations people have to offer. I’m tired of reading the same old shit on websites that don’t know much more than me. I’m also good on the typical “tough love” statements to “wake me up” as I am already my biggest daily hater when it comes to that, which is, again, part of my issue. I’m just hoping I can cash in on some Redditor wisdom.
TLDR: Need realistic advice on how to stop smoking weed even if I keep failing (and have been for years) despite being extremely self-aware about it.

I (21M) recently broke up with my ex (19M) who suffers with bpd. I have such conflicting, back and forth feelings about the situation. It was an extreme rollercoaster relationship, characterised by very high highs and very low lows. When we were good it was so good. We had so much in common personality wise, had so much physical attraction to eachother and had so much chemistry in every way. He showed me so much love and affection and always told me good things about myself. We have similar interests also. However the bad parts of the relationship have caused me to have trust issues and built up resentment. My ex was in active addiction throughout most of our relationship. Before I knew it was an addiction I thought he smoked just for fun. I had to remind him not to smoke while in my presence because it made me feel like he didn’t enjoy my company sober. He didn’t understand that it seemed rude until I went further in depth. However once I knew how it was I was okay with him smoking to eat, sleep or when he wasn’t with me if it helped him in doing those things. On numerous occasions he would lie to me about being sober, he would sneak a smoke if I had went to the bathroom or he would be high when I arrived to see him, before dates or on the way to nights out. He also told my friends that he did this behind my back. The constant lying really broke my trust for him. I didn’t enjoy being in his presence when he was high as he was a different person than he usually is. He would be zoned out and would ignore me when I talked about issues or give me halfass responses. He also called me controlling for having these boundaries in place (even tho I was very lenient and adjusted them for his sake) and would express how he would feel guilt for doing it in any of the ways I let him. He also wouldn’t understand why I lost my trust and would get annoyed at me for being stuck on the past. He told me I haven’t gave him praise for “getting sober” but I found out he was using when he wasn’t with me, which is fine but that meant he wasn’t sober. He would also take his frustrations out on me while going through withdrawls. Multiple times he went through the withdrawls and stopped, but then would start using again randomly. Also in arguments he would belittle me and call me insulting and degrading names or say he hates me. When I told him to stop he would say “I say how I feel at the time”. There was emotionally abusive tendencies and manipulation. Especially when I brought up issues, he would say “if I’m so bad just leave” and would threaten breakups and push me away, but when I didn’t fight he would say how it’s so easy for me and I don’t even put up a fight or say I’m horrible for throwing it away. There was also a lot of criticisms to my character and held me to unrealistic standards about how I should treat him even though he didn’t even do those things himself. He would also say how I’ve gone quiet and I’m so boring and depressing to be around, but wouldn’t understand why. One of his friends also said to him I should’ve never went back to him when he lifted his fist at me one time. It’s hard because he didn’t take much accountability for months but eventually did, and took accountability for everything once I left, said I didn’t deserve any of it and said he would change and get help. I want to believe it so bad but he’s made so many empty promises or else said he can’t change certain aspects or said change doesn’t happen overnight, so how is he now so adamant that he will change. It’s just not ideal that I was taken for granted and it took for him to lose me to realise how I deserve to be treated. I can’t tell if we’re soul tied or trauma bonded. I’m not perfect either but I do take people into consideration before doing or saying something that could possibly hurt them. I miss him so much and haven’t stopped from the moment I left and feel so undesirable to everyone else. He was the first person to show me love but also hurt me so badly so I feel lost. He said to me he is going to rehab and is going to get help, he was in therapy but hadn’t been diagnosed for bpd yet, I’m trying to get into therapy too but the wait list is weeks long and idk what to do with myself. The drugs stopped but the talking down etc didn’t, so I feel like sometimes I’m stuck on the past and I want to make things right so bad but I’m scared

Hi, all. Like the title says, I’m a big fan of Taylor / Taylor’s artistry. I never used to listen to pop music much, but grief and depression and a shitty home life pulled me to Taylor.
When I was 14, my mom died after battling Ovarian cancer for four years. My brother committed suicide when I was too young to really remember him, so for three years now it’s just been me and my dad. Anyway, a couple days after my mom’s funeral, my aunt came to visit and told me to listen to “Marjorie” by Taylor Swift. I didn’t do it immediately, but eventually (maybe a week or so after she left) I remembered the recommendation and played it in my room on my mom’s laptop that was now my laptop. I don’t know how to really explain it, but my whole body was overcome with emotion as soon as I heard “I complained the whole way there, the car ride back and up the stairs, I should’ve asked you questions, I should’ve asked you how to be.” I’m not exaggerating, I was bawling. I didn’t even cry in the hospice facility when I had to say goodbye to my mom and witness her take her final breath. I didn’t even cry at the funeral. I was broken and numb. Now as I look back on 14 year old me, I realize that listening to “Marjorie” for the first time is the very moment the dams broke open in me and I finally started processing my grief. To this day, I can’t listen to that song without my eyes watering.
Anyway, I know nobody cares, but I guess I share all this to sort of shield myself from hardcore Taylor haters who might automatically criticize me for liking her and her music. I had to create this new account because I was recently banned from “SwiftlyNeutral” for asking why it doesn’t seem like a neutral space at all. It feels like all the Taylor related subs are just snark subs now, and as someone who isn’t a Gaylor, Maylor, Joe Widow, or Trav Wife, it’s starting to feel impossible to find community in the Taylor Swift corners of the internet that aren’t just places for people to excitedly make fun of her or straight up wish her harm.
All that said, I’m searching for somewhere to discuss Taylor in a way that isn’t just mean-spirited snarking. To be honest, hateful comments are really triggering for me because for some reason I can’t read mean comments without my brain immediately pushing suicidal ideation. It’s like my brain is too weak or sensitive to accept negativity and will tell me “If we kill ourself, we don’t have to experience bad things or read mean things or feel sad things anymore.” It’s hard for me to ignore my brain telling me that every day regardless, but when I see all the body shaming and bullying in other Taylor subs met with upvotes and laughter, the ideation becomes overwhelming.
I know I’m rambling and maybe this post will just be met with snark or a ban, but I’d really like to know if you guys think this is a safe sub for me. I am fine with people who “snark” in a way that isn’t unhinged like Gaylors or just straight up mean. And I don’t mind people who post/comment about not liking her music. It’s the other stuff going on in all the Taylor subs now that depresses me. I found this sub linked in another, and am hoping it could be a good place for me to engage in. If it’s just about snarking on Travis, I think I qualify. Because that man in a chauvinistic fame-fucker and I don’t get how people are so convinced he’s good for Taylor. I am 16 (well actually I turn 17 Friday lol) and can see he’s just using her. So on that note, I think I could fit in here. I guess I just need to know ahead of time if the time if this sub is more “I hate Travis and Taylor” than it is “I hate Travis.”
Sorry this is really long. My excuse it that I’m depressed and lonely and will be skipping school today anyway.

So, I always wanted to try out ComfyUI in the past. So after someone recently pointing out to me, that Comfy among other things wouldn't be as much of a VRAM hog. Especially with SDXL and ControlNet. Or Upscaling. Which is true as my first impression. Generations seem to be a little bit faster than compared to A1111 indeed, even when upscaling. Speaking of, I haven't had a single OoM error in all those hours since I started using it. So that's definitely a point for Comfy.
My first couple of 2-3 hours were more or less spent by watching basics tutorials and getting used to the nodes system. Of course, the whole node system can be very overwhelming at first. Especially since a workflow can end up being a confusing blob of nodes and connections. Not saying on is better over the other, but a clean GUI like A1111 and co use are way more intuitive on the surface. For now, I handle it as a tie.
Haven't much used LorAs so far. That's one of the unchecked things on my experimental To-Do list. But as far as I under stand I can basically chain up LoRa loaders and link them with my Clip (prompt), right? I also saw, there's a custom node called "LoRa Stacker" wich can apply 3 Lora per Node. Again still need to get into the topic more. Q: Do I still need to put trigger words in the prompt. Or is it enough in Comfy to just load and connect?
As far as using ControlNet. I learned he basics of how to set them up. But somehow I feel, compared to A1111 the results are not as good. But again, maybe I just lack experience yet.
But what I definitely noticed so far. Why is there no proper and simple Regional Prompting solution for Comfy. In a video I found a custom node from a guy named DaveMage or something. I didn't really get it to work or the results were pretty meh. Also, very fiddly to set up; Requiring one Prompt Clip Node per region instead of just trigger the region break with a prompt. Compared to Mikubills RegionPrompter in A1111 for example. Another topic I need to deep dive into. That point clearly goes to A1111. Or at least until I found a better working solution.
Another question: I already learned, that when I drag and drop a picture generated with comfy into the workspace. It exactly loads up THAT workflow. But what can I do, when I just want to check out the prompts or some specific settings of an previously generated image, without loading the complete workflow (and worse), replacing the current one. Same for Images created with A1111

Yesterday my son got a referral yesterday in class and the teacher wrote me a copy in my email and it reads this “(my sons name) has been disruptive in class, constantly singing a “Skibidi-Toilet” song and constantly saying, mewing, jelqing and gyatt in class. When he got home I asked him what any of these things meant and he said that he was “Gyattmaxing” and his teacher was just being racist. I refuse to believe this because he is mixed, but whitepassing and his father passed away before he was born, so they wouldn’t even be aware his father is black (he does have a father figure, my husband and they have a great relationship.) It has been very difficult these past few months trying to deal with his behavior and me and my husband are considering sending him to bootcamp. I wanted to see if their were any solutions before I decided on that.

Hi there everyone. This’ll be another part of the strangeness that has been my life. However, It just seemed right, since I shared my first story so it’d be only fair I share this one too. My name is Joey. I'm a 24 year old man. I live in Utah and if you’ve read the title you’ll know that this is about an older Church. One I used to go as a child at 6 years old. I grew up around and inside the Churches that have infested the entire state. Anyone that's been around Utah knows exactly what I’m talking about. Those that don’t, there’s a lot of Churches around here. So much so, throw a rock in a direction and follow and you’ll visit one. I’ll start off by telling you all about my childhood a bit.
I grew up into an adoptive family. During that time, 2006 was growing. With the dynamic being my Mom, Dad, Newly adopted sister and me. This year happened to be the same year my consciousness formed and memories started forming into my long term brain. My thinking during the time wasn’t entirely clear but my memory makes my body feel a shudder throughout my innards. I believe it’s time to get into my background during this year. For those that don’t want to know feel free to skip the next paragraph. Though the context is that I was abused. Making my prayers to God much stronger. So there's that warning.
My father was a drunk. I feel I don’t need to explain more here. My mother was more self preservative than I could ever know. Days and Nights blended together in my head a lot from my childhood. My mind blocked out a lot of those moments. My abuse was much more than my sister. Mostly because I took protective stance and hid my sister often while my mother would leave us there in the horrors of my fathers drunken fist. This happened this whole year all while the main story occurs.
Prayers. These were what kept me company after I had been left bloodied. Sundays were always somewhat of a safe haven at times. If you haven’t been, there’s a room inside some Churches that’s a large room with lots of windows used for prayer specifically. Sometimes, in my Church we used it for events or for youth group prayer. Never made very many friends in school or inside my time at Church. However, this is where things always felt weird and my memory persists something was wrong even as a 6 year old child.
The light of the day would shine through the windows inside the room and I would pray. Sometimes by myself. Praying my heart out that God had a plan to save me and my sister from the pain. Asking questions like “Why us?” “Were we bad kids?” “Did our parents love us?”. All hard questions to listen to. Especially coming from such an innocent boy. Every Sunday I’d end up in that room. Either alone or with few. Staying until the Church would close. As we only lived a block away from my house my family would leave me there knowing I knew my way home. It must have happened sometime in the summer when I first noticed it. I was praying just like I did every other Sunday when I caught a glimpse of it in the sunshine. A porcelain button on the back left thigh of the statue. This was odd and my child's curiosity got the best of me. I pressed it. I remember a door unlocking from behind the statue. Being small enough at the time I squeezed past and opened it. Closing it behind me.
It was dim but had some light from the old bulbs that lined the halls before me. I wasn’t as scared as I probably should’ve been but from my previous story you’ll know I wasn’t always the brightest. These halls were small to say the least. My own body could barely maneuver between the walls and it didn’t seem to get larger by any means. I recall walking for some time. To a child it was an eternity. A whole 20 minutes. But, I finally reached another door by then. I pushed it open to reveal that the way was sealed. By brick and cement. Saddened to not find narnia at the end of the halls I turned back and walked back. I made it back in time as the person closing didn’t even notice I left and escorted me out of the Church.
This wasn’t the last time I’d visit, obviously. I took a crude tool I made on my own calling it my “pickaxe” It was 2 old hammers I found in my fathers shed and happened to stick them on one hammer handle with nothing but caveman brute force and hopes I could get through that brick and cement to see what was behind it.. The pickaxe was just the two hammer heads with the nail removers facing outward. I remember this took me about a month's time to craft.
The next time I visited the door was on a saturday when we still had access to the Church but no sermon was held. So I took my weekends very seriously that fall. I would leave my pickaxe and a ninja turtles backpack there so I could dump the rocks and rubble just outside in the school yard a few feet down. The expeditions became my childhood obsession. An escape from my home life. It was only after I started leaving that my mother took my sister with her to my aunts house on the weekend. I continued throughout school when it picked back up in september. By this point however, I was getting closer. Closer than I ever thought I could.
It wasn’t long after this that my mom and dad got a divorce. I never minded it. Honestly, my first thought was how I could stay longer and see what was finally behind that door. Never had a second thought about the implications of the divorce or even that I was to stay with my dad for the time being. My mom always assured me she’d come back for me. It never happened. Despite the small delay from this I was quick to go back to the halls. The room had stayed empty for a lot of the weekend as they got colder and colder. Less and less people would stay around the prayer area. Soon after I remember it reached November. I was ecstatic when I breached the wall for the first time.
My life hadn’t been easy that year. Yet finally I was at the cusp of my adventure and I finally would receive my treasure. It didn’t matter if it was gold or a penny. I did it and it took me away from the horrors of my home life. Even if little me had no friends at the time until I met Michael, Ben and Austin later on. As in my previous escapades. I didn’t feel lonely. Only that I felt happiness for what felt like the first time that year. It was only when I saw what was behind it did I realize that I never should have chipped away at that wall. I should’ve stayed home and tried to make friends at school. Instead I decided to fly too close to the sun. In search of something that would change my life. Somehow in an odd way it did. Just not in the way I wished it would’ve.
The breach of light hit me. I saw through the hole I had made just large enough for me to see inside. It was another Church room. This one was, however, empty and dark. The windows shone only moonlight as I looked through. Yet I still knew in my head that it had only been about a couple hours according to my Spider-Man watch. Somewhere closer to 3PM that afternoon. So how was this place dark? How was the Moon out? Where is everyone? Why is it gross looking inside? These questions flooded my mind as I continued to chip away at the brick. To which by the end of this day I could easily stick my arm out of the hole I’d created.It seemed like literal magic to me. This must be something that God has finally given me. The thought my prayers had been answered flooded my mind the following week. Waiting and waiting for more answers. Thinking I just had to make it to Saturday that week. By the time I had gotten back on Saturday my expedition resumed and I was as eager as ever. When finally I had a terrible realization that same evening. My pickaxe was severely beaten and broken due to me just smacking it against the wall with all my force. It look disheveled and honestly I think back now and It most certainly should’ve broken many weeks prior. So my solution? Replace the tops with my dads 2 other hammer heads I had found earlier that summer. Wasn’t like he ever left his room other than to grab another pack of miller.
I should’ve seen something coming after taking the hammers. My dad soon went to work on a project and found that his hammers (all 4) had gone missing and I was the only one at the house. So inevitably I got grounded and beat. Luckily I left my bag and pickaxe at the halls. The next two weeks were agonizingly slow. Thoughts of what would be through that odd magic door rushed through my head endlessly. So much so I didn’t even get that much sleep by the end of the week. Regardless, I went to Church that Saturday morning. The same people there tried to greet me but I ignored them this time. Many were concerned about the black eye I had that was just barely going away now. At last I made it back to the spot I dug. I saw my Ninja Turtle backpack and my pickaxe waiting for me. The hole however, was larger than I had previously remembered. Enough so that my body almost fit. My child brain assumed that maybe it had been something like wind or something. We just learned about erosion a bit in school so it seemed logical at the time. Within the hour I was in. I left my bag and pickaxe and entered the old Church. I looked around and found myself in a regularly lit room with the sun out and shining. Though I didn’t understand why it looked like night time when I went looking through the sealed doorway earlier. My first thought was that maybe it was just later than I thought it was. My watch said 6 PM which meant I had about an hour before my dad would notice I wasn’t home. So I journeyed forward.
The Church resembled the one I came from. Eerily so. Same statue. Same layout. Even the same odd scratches and bumps I used to notice on the walls. The same all around but just backwards. Like everything had flopped on its head. When I left the large prayer room identical to the one I had left to get here. I saw a man at the podium. He didn’t look like my own pastor. He wore darker clothing and wore a symbol. A symbol I never saw before. Almost resembling the cross you might see at a train stop? He also spoke about scripture that I don’t remember. Reading from a book that was much thicker and more dense than that of the one I saw regularly on the weekends. Confused, I just listened. The sermon enticed me. Felt even more fulfilling than the current bible I recognized. I still remember the line that was spoken that drove it home for me. “To he who seeks heaven and hell shall find it. Naught to he who merely thinks about the idea but the ones that create it in their mind’s eye and heart. Heaven and hell are but concepts bestowed upon by the false idols of this world. The one true idol shant be the idea of these idols but the belief in oneself as the idol you imagine to be true.” I wrote down these words in my little notepad I had brought along to catalog my journey.
Listening to this filled me with the idea that I was in control of the things that happened. Not my father. Not god. Joey. After the sermon which lasted only a few minutes after the statement, I would walk up and talk to the man who spoke so clearly. I remember our small conversation from the notes I took.
“Hey there mister!”
“Hey buddy! Did you like the sermon?” He spoke so calmly and warm that I almost cried upon hearing him.
“That was really cool what you said.”
Thank you! Well I haven’t seen you here before. Where are you from?” The calmness in his voice never once struck me with malice.
“Down the street near the school. Right next to the 7-11. I get slushies there sometimes” I remember how hot my face was as I did my best to try and impress what I thought could be my new friend.
“OH! Yeah I know where you’re talking about. Do you know where you’re at buddy?” His question was the first time I felt he had some concern in his voice.
“No. I just found out this place was here.” I recall vividly looking down in shame.
“Well. We’re not really outside. See?” He revealed to me that a light on the windows could be turned on and off. Showing a moonlit night or what was currently the day time light.
Stunned, I immediately went into a small panic. “Then where is this place?”
He looked at me. Almost with a hatful look only a man I knew all too well would give me. I fully expected to be beat at this point. To my surprise he didn’t. He just told me a story. “What's your name buddy?”
“Joey, I’m 6.”
“Joey, huh. That’s funny. My name is Joseph but my friends can call me Joe.” His face turned into a very heartfelt smile.
“Hi there Mr. Joseph”
“Hey! I said my friends call me Joe! We’re friends aren’t we Joey?” this sentence made me feel a little more weary but nothing that seriously made me question anything.
“Yeah, hi Joe”
“Joey. Would you like to hear my story? How did I get here? Then maybe we can talk about how you got here?” This felt warranted afterall we did just meet and I was curious how he ended up here without my genius pickaxe.
“Yeah. I think that’s fair.” I think at this point my nerves got the best of me as I started to swing my legs back and forth.
He started.
“Joey, It was 1979 and I was just right out of highschool. I was gonna end up in the U! You know what the U is right?”
He chuckled as I nodded but this pause wasn’t long before he started up again.
“Well, I made it there. Met a beautiful beautiful girl. Her name was Marie. She was the love of my life Joey. She was my everything. I used to go with her everywhere. To the parlor where she’d drink soda and ice cream with her friends. I’d see her at the park or the drive-in theater sometimes. She’d always be so hard to get through Joey. She never said yes a single time I asked her out. Over and over throughout my college years I would ask and ask. It drove me nuts!”
He laughed so hard he threw himself into a coughing fit. After it he began again after patting my back. This time his expression was heavy and looked just like how my dad used to look at me before a beating. So I cringed back only for him to continue.
“Joey, do you know how lonely it is when a person you love doesn’t love you back?”
I nodded and I remember a tear or two fell from my cheeks as I recalled the way my father treated me. “Yeah I do. My dad isn’t very nice to me.”
He wiped my tears in a caring manner. “Joey, I did something really bad. I loved Marie so much and she kept saying no. I got upset and instead of talking to her. Ugh. Well. She had a boyfriend at the time. I killed him, Joey. It was in their house. Afterward, Marie woke up and she couldn’t believe it. She was gonna call the cops, Joey. So I ended up killing her too.”
The tone of his voice must’ve made me not think of the real intentions of the story. “So you’re a bad person than?” I reluctantly asked.
“Passionate, Joey. I did everything I could time and time again only for her not to love me. I found this place after I killed her. She went to Church in the other building. I carved all the rest of the bumps and scratches so that it would look like a reflection to most. I found this place with the button. Came here and I sealed up the entrance. Gathered up food and water from the store nearby and everything down here works great buddy. I don’t have to go back up. This also means I can’t let you leave. If the police find me then it’s all over and you can’t hear my sermons anymore. Don’t you want to hear more?”
Not quite understanding the situation at hand I nodded and agreed. I couldn’t go back to my dad after finding this kind person with the warm voice. Though I wrote most of what he said in my notepad that night. I slept in what felt like home for the first time in forever. I asked Joe why the place was built before we went to bed. He told me a small story about how the halls were supposed to be widened so that it could be a two story Church capable of housing more people than any other Church could. The building process became too pricey so they stopped production but apparently it turned to legend and he stumbled upon it when running away from his crime. Coming to the Church to repent. He found a book inside left by some teenagers. Apparently a book on satanic beliefs were the only thing he had close to him. So he wore the robes and ended up preaching to himself every weekend since. He dyed it a purple black from some beets and vinegar. I enjoyed my night with Joe. He was my friend.
A week had passed by. I hadn’t left Joe’s side as he taught me the insides and outs of the Satanic bible he held in his hands. I listened so intently that I couldn’t even think about going home now. I had food, candies, water, and juice boxes. All sorts of stuff. These were old storage stuff to last at least 40 years. Shelves and shelves of goods. For one man he’d only gone through about 5 years worth. He taught me about some of the power he felt from fasting. An idea I strongly hated at the time, but still I respected him for it. It wasn’t long before he indoctrinated me as his first disciple. I felt like I had a dad for the first time. He talked to me about school and everything in my life so far. He helped me learn to actually tie my shoes. He ended up teaching me more than I could ever learn from my dad back home. By this point it had been 3 weeks. I felt comfortable with Joe. Loved the way he made me feel. Like I was finally a person. Rather than a burden set upon my parents. I treated him better than I ever did the god I previously worshiped. After about a month or so we celebrated new years together and made loud noise and sang about our scripture and I thanked Satan for bringing me the thing I wanted most. A dad who loved me.
2 months in I was cleaning the place. Joe had tried to seal the hole but failed multiple times. The stuff was a bit too old to be used now. This would mark the police's first investigative lead on me. Since my disappearance my mother had been searching everywhere. The cameras of the Church had been searched, people interrogated. My dad was the first suspect in my homicide case. I say homicide because my dad was always spouting how I went and got myself killed. February marked an interesting time for me. The police found out my patterns. This led them down the path of getting a search warrant for the Church. They found the button in March of 2007. Shortly after this they found the wall. Found my bag. Found the pickaxe.
They blew it down. They shot Joe. “Saved” me.
Little did they know. I never wanted to go back. I still believe his teachings. He was my dad. He will always be my dad in my heart. I love you Joe. I miss you. Wish we had more time.

A few days back, this subreddit saw a thread on why Trails as a franchise is so good and everyone should play it, which garnered mixed reception at best, since it was percieved as too biased. Since it's good points were covered there, thje other day, my aim here is to provide a few of the pain points, obvious or not, that may make someone think twice about picking them up.
Before starting with negatives, I wanna preface by saying Trails is one of my favourite series, having played all localised games (except Sky the 3rd, which i know, is important) to completion, having platinum trophies for all the Erebonia saga. There won't be outright spoilers like saying X died in Y game, but there will be mentions of overall themes. Let's start.

.- Before anything else, Trails is ultimately an anime JRPG

What does this mean? It means that it gets the good and the bad of anime tropes. This is not an attack on the MCs saying they are generic self inserts (I dont think anyone claiming so has really played the games), but the other bad anime tropes, including anything like

• Characters misunderstanding each other due to lack of/refusal to communicate
• Instant villain forgiveness
• Deaths only really happen in the backstory
• Teenagers are somehow able to save the world
• Themes of incest
• The power of friendship solving all

And so on. If you actively dislike anime and anime tropes, these themes are VERY prevalent in the trails series, admittedly on some arcs more than others, but they are there, and they may hamper your enjoyment.
There are also a few tropes that I am not sure come from anime, like "win battle, but lose in the story" and things like that, that get old real fast.

.- The series is VERY text heavy

Just as the above says. This series is very extensive in it's amount of text, be it dialogue or flavour text in some of the side content like books or newspapers, or talking to NPCs. If my memory doesnt fail me, I recall the totality of Cold Steel 3's script being more than two times longer than The Witcher 3. That should give you an idea.
It's not an issue in the same way that Genshin is for example, with Paimon repeating the same sentence 10 times over. Trails dialogue has a puirpose. But by the end of the game, you will likely be overwhelmed and a bit tired too.

.- Some of the content is just not presented inmediately to the player

This isn't regarding side quests, since those, I believe, are an integral segment of the game. No, I mean that there is a portion of game content you won't experience if you don't go out of your way. You will miss part of the worldbuilding if you don't speak to NPCs. You will miss part of Zemuria's culture and folklore if you don't read books. For example, if you don't read newspapers, you will miss out on how they are controlled to spew propaganda. Not something gamechanging, but something you don't notice until you experience it
This is most infamous with a piece of content in Cold Steel 2, which REQUIRES you go into NG+, through the entirety of that game cycle, pick up a series of books with rather tight acquisition windows, and give them to a character, only to unlock a special cutscene at the end of the game, without which you would loose a LOT of context for certain characters in the following game. It, put simply, sucks

.- You aren't going to like every character the same

And this will likely be because you percieve them as "better or worse developed". The truth is that some characters simply have more interesting arcs than others. A player will inherently be more drawn to a character that has actual changes of heart, grows and changes demeanour during the game, as opposed to a character that basically just yaps about the wind and home. Some characters are, just as a matter of fact, more interesting than others. That is just the way it is. All characters are great, but some are greater than others.
At some points, you will also feel like some characters are just there to be used as plot devices/because they are family to X, or some reason like that, and they do pretty much nothing outside of that. These are some of the less great characters.

.- Some characters are... problematic in their representation

This is for you ladies out there that happen to like ladies. There is a rather problematic issue in terms of lesbian representation in Trails. The two characters depicted as lesbians have either been permanently trying to hook up and flirt with anything that moves for one of them, or seen actively molesting other female characters. It's just part of the characters, and it is... not good

.- The combat pretends to be much more complex than it actually is

This is mostly from Cold Steel onward. The game will open telling you of damage types, balance break, status effects, quartz and master quartz, dodge, arts, crafts, S crafts, objects and so on, making the game seem like it has a very rich and complex combat system.
In reality, by the midgame the gameplay has been extremely simplified and reduced to a single strategy unless you go out of your way to limit yourself. You will build ONE delay spammer, or ONE dodge tank, and the game is pretty much over. There is no real point to using items past the midgame because you can either get the same effect with Arts or character skills. There is no point in cooking for the same reason. There is no point in building a character around status ailments because most bosses will be inmune to all of them, or have something ridiculous like 90% resistance to sleep.
The endgame for these games consists in a very simple "buff ally, optionally debuff the enemy, spam ult moves". If you don't oneshot your enemy, you will be close to doing so, rinse and repeat.
And last, perhaps most importantly:

.- The series is an incredible time sink, and the fandom is very elitist about it

The series is 10 games loing in the western world, to be 11 in a month. It's to be 13 in a few months in japan, since they are two games ahead. And these arent western games like Uncharted thgat you can finish in 10 hours and be done with it. The shortest of them in howlongtobeat marks 32 and a half hours for Sky the 3rd, just for the main story. If you go at a leisurely pace, it marks 43 hours. And this is for ONE game, of ELEVEN so far, for ONLY THE MAIN STORY. If you plan to experience main and side content in this game without necessarily doing all trophies, the series up to Reverie will set you back over 800 hours. That is a HEFTY time investment for a single series.
There is also the permanent debate on where to start, with the series having multiple "reasonable" entry points, with some making more sense, like starting chronologically. But if you want to experience the Cold Steel saga, you aren't exactly going to look forward to like 200 hours of other games tyou may or may not be interested about.
That's about it, just thought i'd write a bit on the negatives to offset the "too positive" vibe the other day's post had. I still believe is a series worth getting into, but it has it's issues.

I live in the middle of no-where, and my parents don't allow me to make friends. And whenever I'm myself (I am autistic, and schizophrenic, I have high needs.) people hate me, I've tried every corner of the internet, everyone of them HATED me. I am aware of how I act too but I can't do anything about it, since my brain is wired the way it is. I have no friends, nor hobbies. And I'm not even 13 yet, I need too much, I am too much, i speak too much, I am narcissistic. What's worse is I'm aware of ALL I am. I am so depraved I have a crush on Godzilla. I'm ugly too, I see these uglier women get these amazing men, and treat them like shit, it is a PRIVILEGE to be loved in these world sadly. I hate this whole world, I wanna fucking shoot my brains out onto these ugly fucking mint green walls, all I do is rot in my bed, and smell like shit, I'm the female version of a discord mod. I do NOTHING. Because that's all I am, A HUGE FUCKING NOTHING, AND I ALSO HOPE EVERYONE WHO WORKS AT IDW COMICS DIES, I FUCKING HATE IDW COMICS. I'm so FUCKIGN depraved of real human interaction. I want it so bad. I love my family, but its TIRING of them being my ONLY interaction. And I wish I was treated the way I act, and not treated by my age. Like there was this guy I met on Fortnite, HE UNDERSTOOD ME, but he was an adult so we had to part ways. God, I just wanna shoot myself, I play Fortnite. SHIT DOES ANYONE UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I FUCKING HATE MYSELF?! I ACTUALLY HATE MYSELF MORE THAN HITLER, I DONT GIVE SHIT IF THIS BACKFIRES, I HATE MYSELF, I AM THE MOST USELESS 12 Y.O GIRL TO EVER EXIST. AND I FUCKING HATE MK1, MK9 WAS SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER THAN THAT WOKE SHIT. I WANT THE EDGY SHIT BACK. I HATE THIS WORLD, ALL IT IS NOW IS "Be gay! You have an Ego if you don't use Eco! Be ashamed if you're white!" LIKE YEAH AMERICANS DON'T HAVE MUCH CULTURE BUT THATS STILL FUCKING RACISM?!??!? AND WHY ARE YOU TEACHING TODDLERS ABOUT BEING GAY?!?! THEY SHOULDN'T BE DATING. I HATE THIS WORLD, I DON'T WANT TO BREATHE THE SAME AIR THAT PEDOPHILES, AND GROSS PEOPLE DO. SOMEONE REMOVE ME FROM THIS GODDAMN FUCKING EARTH IT SUCKS. I'M A RETARD. WHY CAN'T I JUST BE MARRIED ALREADY MAKING MY HUSBAND AND CHILDREN FOOD?? I HATE THIS. I HATE BEING SUBJECTED TO THE HELL I'VE EXPOSED MYSELF TO, WHY IS THE WORLD SO FUCKED UP. WHY CAN'T WE JUST BE PRIMAL ANIMALS LIVING IN HARMONY, WE PAY TO LIVE, AND PAY TO DIE. THIS WORLD IS RUINED. THERE'S NO GOING BACK. GOD, IT'S MENTAL TORTURE TO BE ALIVE. SEX IS NOW A TABOO ACT OF PLEASURE. IT'S NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT MAKING YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER FEEL LOVE, AND PLEASURE, IT'S TO FUCKING REPRODUCE. THERE'S ALOT OF NERVES THERE, THAT'S WHY IT FEELS "GOOD". AND IF YOU'RE GOING TO COMMENT ABOUT JUST THIS PART, NO I WASN'T ASSAULTED. I KNOW BECAUSE I KNOW. I'VE GOTTEN SO DESPERATE THAT I HAVE A FUCKING MELTDOWN ON REDDIT, SO DON'T FUCKING SAY SHIT, I JUST WANT COMFORT, THAT'S THE ONLY THING MY FAMILY CAN'T PROVIDE ME, EMOTIONAL COMFORT. THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING, THAT'S ALL I WANT. I JUST WANT COMFORT. I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO'S PUNISHED FOR BEING A BAD PERSON, I KNOW I'M A BAD PERSON, I WANT TO CHANGE, I DO, I TRY TO CHANGE, BUT I CAN'T, I JUST CAN'T, I'VE TRIED. AND IT HURTS KNOWING I CAN'T CHANGE AS A HUMAN, AND I AM AWARE OF MY FAULTS BUT I GET PUNISHED FOR IT, WHILE OTHERS DON'T. I WANT HELP, I JUST WANT HELP. I WANT A HUG, I WANT COMFORT. AND I'D BE DAMNED IF YOU'RE STILL READING THIS.

Our relationship was 5 months long and I enjoyed the relationship we argued about 4 times max we were always laughing, we agreed on almost everything, we always had something to talk about and it was honestly very lovely from my perspective .
So basically my ex boyfriend broke up with me in January. The whole day everything was fine between us we were on a call and I asked him to talk to me till I fell asleep I was asleep for a few hours then I saw the call ended and he send me a text and it was a breakup text.
The break up text consist of him saying he just wants to focus on himself and he enjoyed our relationship and talked about what a great girl I am and how I will always have a special place in his heart and stuff like that.
I didn't reply to the break up text and just deleted his number and our pictures together and stuff cried a bit to my friends then moved on. The next day he text me trying to check up on me I don't reply, a day later he trying to talk to me again and sends multiple text so I send one replying back very short text saying that I'm doing great, he sent a few text after that I didn't reply or read them, a day later he text me again I never open the text and delete his number again, a day later he text me again but deleted the message so idk.
About a month later a repost comes on my tik tok fyp and it looks like his account but not the account I know. I open the account and decided to be a bit nosey and I see he is reposting things about having a girlfriend so I basically just blocked the account. For the past few months I have just been focusing on myself lost a bit of weight, got new hobbies, got a pet and some other changes.
I'm rarely on Instagram but when I opened my insta I saw that he message me saying he misses me and wants me to come home. But I only saw the text 2 weeks after he sent it. I reply saying I thought he needed time to himself but in a rude way, he send a text back didn't see it till a few days later, I reply again saying something rude, he sends a short paragraph saying he wants to end things in good term or things don't have to end at all I left him on read, about a week later I realized I'm into dark bdsm and I enjoy being submissive and subservient with a few other kinks that not a lot of poeple where I'm from enjoy and I don't enjoy online relationships and I thought back to our relationship and it was lovely so I decided to reply telling him he can call me because he knows I don't enjoy texting, he replys saying he will after his granny's funeral and stuff is sorted out and he has free time, I reply saying forry for his lose and he tried to continue the convo and I just left him on seen. 2 weeks go by and I forgot he was even supposed to call me till I had a dream about talking to him then I woke up and it was 11 something the next day I see that he called me at 1 am that was creepy as hell. I call him back in the afternoon at 1pm but he doesn't pick up and calls me back around 7-8 pm.
The conversation started with him saying sorry about breaking up with me and i was a bit to clingy and he should have talked about it with me instead of leaving. I did ask him if he dated anyone since we broke up and he said yes but he broke up with her because she switched up and I said I didn't wanna be a rebound and he said they broke up a while ago before he texted me and the reason he texted me is because he missed me, my voice and our conversation and a few other things about our relationship and for the past few months he has thought about me often. I decided to be straight forward and ask him what he wants does he wanna get back together, a situationship and he replied saying he doesn't wanna end up in a relationship again cause he doesn't wanna hurt me but he also doesn't want a situation. So I asked him if he just wanted fun and he basically said he just wanted to talk to me but be more then friends because we are way passed that. I asked him what does he mean by fun and he basically said just talking to me and getting to see me and anything else I wanna doo. I said I will think about it and said bye.
But idk what he means by fun cause In our relationship we never did anything sexual I let him listen to me play with myself a few times on a call but he never saw me naked or anything. The most we did was peck kiss and cuddle..
Idk what to do about this situation cause I do kinda miss the relationship but I also feel like my judgment is clouded. And he might just want to use me for intertainmint till he gets bored again
I'm sorry if I'm a bad story teller 🤍

Venting/K1visa
Finally got some movement on our k1 visa, but I feel like the incident with the CBP last month when they didn’t allow my fiancé to come to the USA with me, we couldn’t drive either smh….. I feel like us being cooperative and honest with CBP was frowned upon, they treated him like a criminal( neither of us have a record or break the law) and they asked him why don’t he wait until he get his k1 visa, made us wait 2 hours just to give a us a report from homeland security and denying him entry, still unsure why??? CBP kept saying that he needed to establish status just to drive his car to the USA, he needed to wait for his visa, why did he not want to wait?How they wish they could make his salary or own land and how everyone wanted to move too texas, just disrespectful behavior! Btw He is from Canada 🇨🇦 and I’m in the USA! This situation with CBP and homeland has been so stressful, I feel like this is what caused out K1 visa to be delayed and RFE sent, we evidence at the airport, provided tons of proof of our relationship, plans, etc and photos with our visa app and now they want more information, 6/6 I ended up having a miscarriage and although I’m trying to remain positive and strong while we are apart, I just can’t wrap my head around how we was treated… they interrogated us for what? I wish I could reach out to someone regarding this situation so they could look into this situation at the airport and how they can help to ensure that this doesn’t happen in the future to others who try and do things the right way!!! #vent #stressed #norudecommentsplease

AITA for calling out my friends over their behaviour at my wedding dress appointment?
I’m 25F, getting married to my fiancée 27M, next year. My best friend, A (25F) is maid of honour, and my friend, B (24F) is a bridesmaid, along with my sister and fiancées sister. I had a private wedding dress try on at a really lovely store close to where I live. My mother, sister, MIL, SIL, maid of honour and bridesmaid were present for this try on, as I was allowed 6 guests, and wanted them all to be involved. I have dreamed of trying on wedding dresses for a long time, and wanted a nice moment with the people closest to me. Instead, I was left feeling quite humiliated, embarrassed and upset after the appointment. I did end up choosing and buying a dress. Both my maid of honour (A) and bridesmaid (B), spent the entirety of the appointment, where I tried in different dresses and showed everyone (to ask for opinions and feedback), whispering to each other, laughing and offering no feedback or even a positive comment / compliment to any single wedding dress I tried on. Even when I found the dress of my dreams (that everyone ended up loving too! My mum cried), they didn’t say a single thing, even when I asked if they liked the dress. They couldn’t even pay me a compliment (and the dresses were nice, nothing outlandish or alternative, very normal, nice wedding dresses). The only time my maid of honour spoke was to exclaim that she heavily disliked a dress I was wearing as it was off the shoulder (a style she hates). That was it. I was quite embarrassed that my 2 closest friends were so negative the whole night, in front of my family. I felt heavily embarrassed and just really upset. My sister and SIL mentioned their behaviour, and my SIL messaged my fiancée to tell him how sad she felt for me to have such negative friends, which prompted him to ask me what happened, as I had just brushed it off and didn’t want to make a big deal of it. However after speaking to him, he was quite upset on my behalf and said that if I felt comfortable, I should bring it up and ask them why they behaved that way. I did, very politely, ask them why neither of them paid me a compliment in any wedding dress I tried on, or just gave me feedback, which wasn’t received well at all. They didn’t think they had done anything wrong and had behaved perfectly fine the whole night, going as far as go say they quite enjoyed themselves. Am I the asshole for still being upset about this and calling them out on it?