My first symptom was 5/20 mild fever, on 5/21 I woke up with a mild sore throat. I was with him at his apartment during this time, which from what I understand is the time one would be most contagious. I had an immediate bright purple positive line on the test that I took after I got home from work on 5/21. Fortunately, he didn’t get sick, and neither did any of my clients from 21/20. I began my isolation on 5/22 and had a remote doctors appt, she told me that I should isolate for 5 days after my first symptoms, and assuming that my symptoms were improved and I was fever free for 24 hours without fever reducing medicine, I could return to work and using public transportation, masked, regardless of test results. By Sunday, 5/26, it had been a full 5 days since my first symptoms, it was my 6th day since onset of symptoms, day zero being 5/20. I was feeling 95% better aside from very mild lingering congestion, and tested with a very very faint line. My partner had planned on coming to visit me to help me with a computer problem and to bring a care package, and I assumed we would mask and open the window. He’s never shown great caution surrounding Covid risk, and I’m the one who gets sick constantly and he’s literally never gotten my cold. I’ve never actually seen him sick in two years. He’s never had Covid and always updates his booster vax yearly + flu shot. He’s very healthy and low risk, so I was shocked that he told me he had planned on visiting outdoors only, and would talk to me “through a window” or on a walk, and that there was absolutely no way he’d come inside. I felt really hurt and abandoned because it had been a really hard couple of days for me, and I really needed his support, but I told him that standing 6ft away on the street would just make me feel worse so not to bother coming by with supplies, I wasn’t sick anymore and could get things for myself. We had to cancel our travel plans, and I took it really hard because I’ve been very stressed. I struggle with mental wellness and have been on and off antidepressants and see a therapist regularly to try and manage it, and I was just in a really dark place and still haven’t been able to get out of it even though I started work back up today 5/28. I haven’t forgiven him for being unwilling to be indoors with me using the precautionary measure of masking/ventilation. If he had been sick for 5+ days, was 95% better, with only a super faint line on his test, I’d have taken the chance. I’m not saying anyone should have been willing to be indoors with me, but the chance I would spread it to anyone at that point, especially masked, was low enough, that my partner should have been willing to. It made me feel horrible and he still won’t even admit that he was exercising a level of caution which exceeds doctor and cdc recommended guidelines, and after I returned to work today masked, he still did not offer to visit. I feel insane, I genuinely want to know if I’m being crazy, or if my feelings are valid.

I'm a 33 year old female. I have had a PICC for over 1.5 years in various sites. Most of mine last 6 months and the only major complications prior to this current one are 2 that migrated out of my SVC due to chronic vomiting. PICC is accessed multiple times a day for IV fluids and IV meds.
This specific PICC has been in for roughly 6 weeks and took 3 attempts/sticks to be successfully placed. I had an occlusive DVT at the insertion site diagnosed 1 week after placement. Currently on Lovenox, but had ultrasound last week that showed DVT is now gone. My arm continues to swell off and on. Ive had a PICC in this arm for over a year now (3 different sites). Now the site is looking worse by the day.
The yellow around the site isn't puss. Whatever it is is stuck there. There's no draining of puss or other unusual fluid. But that yellow area is growing. The redness varies throughout the day. No fevers (temp up to 99.6, but I'm also taking Tylenol for other reasons) and routine CBC today showed wbc 4.3, ANC 2.66 (62%), and lymphocytes at 1.19 (28%).
The dressing was also changed today. Now it is very tender and painful, even just to put my arm by my side. That CBC was drawn right after the dressing change. My only other possible symptoms are being dizzy off and on today, muscle aching, and tired. But I have chronic conditions (psoriatic arthritis, migraines, the intractable n/v) that are flaring as well. I'm just not sure what to think at this point with no fever and normal CBC.
Any thoughts and input would be greatly appreciated!

My name is Jessica, and I live in a small central American city of about 80,000 people.Today I'm going to share a story about Korea.First, I'd like to tell you a little bit about my family.When I was born, I already had an older brother.I don't mean just a little sister with an older brother.My brother was adopted from Korea.It's an unusual situation, isn't it? My parents struggled with infertility for several years before I was born, and they ended up adopting my Korean brother.Then, a few years later, they got pregnant with me, and I was born.My brother had different hair color, skin color, and eye color than me, but we got along very well.Even though we knew from a young age that we were adopted because of our differences, we got along well, and we were a family that loved each other deeply.
We played the same games, read books together, and spent a lot of time together. He always took good care of me, and he was a good brother who made me laugh.
I would say, “Brother, let's read this book together!” and he would always smile and read it to me. I think I liked and enjoyed his warmth to me, rather than focusing on the content of the book.
When we left our cozy home environment, it was time to go to school, and during this time, my brother and I were asked a lot of embarrassing questions.One day, while my brother and I were playing together, a friend asked me, “Jessica, why does your brother look different from you?”The question gave me pause, but he smiled and replied, “Because we are a family, looks don't matter. His positive attitude had a good effect on me, and I'm sure he had a good effect on himself, too.Watching him grow up right, and our family became interested in Korea. If he was a troublemaker and always in trouble, he wouldn't have had the time to take the time to learn about his country of origin, Korea, but when he studied well, didn't fight with his friends, and was a good person who always loved and cared for his brother, we couldn't help but wonder about his roots.
I think my parents also had the will to share Korean culture with my brother and me, to learn what they could, to broaden our horizons and deepen our family's understanding.Many years ago, when I was in middle school, my family visited Korea for the first time, and the experience left a great impression on me.
We visited many tourist spots in Seoul and saw the harmonious combination of Korean tradition and modernity.And Korea, with its many dark-haired, dark-eyed people like my brother, was somehow not foreign to me.For Americans traveling to Asia for the first time, this could have been difficult because people look different and give off different vibes, but not for me. My parents, of course, were very excited to revisit Korea, the country of my brother's birth, and spoke so many blessings about the land of my brother's birth.Of course, there were many good things to see and many fun things to do in Korea, but the most memorable moment was when I suddenly developed a high fever.
It was a quiet night in Korea at the time, and I suddenly developed a high fever.This change was so sudden that my parents panicked.Eventually, with the help of the hotel we were staying at, they were able to get me to the emergency room in Korea, where I was quickly treated.Upon arrival, the medical staff quickly assessed my condition and ran the necessary tests.The whole process was organized, and thanks to the professionalism and quick response of the medical staff, I was able to get comfortable quickly. My situation was so serious that my head hurt like a rock and I could barely understand what was being said around me, but thanks to their quick response, my fever started to come down and I was able to return to my senses.The tests showed that I had a severe flu, which had been contracted in the United States and had incubated in Korea.I had to stop traveling in Korea and be admitted to the hospital for treatment, but thanks to the fast and efficient healthcare system in Korea, this was not a problem.
My parents breathed a sigh of relief and expressed their deep gratitude to the Korean healthcare system.“If it wasn't for Korea, I would have been in trouble,” my father said.Although my family had to stop our trip to Korea and spend the rest of my stay in a Korean hospital, looking back, it was also a unique experience abroad.
Many years later, as an adult, my relationship with my brother was still good. We enjoyed Korean dramas, movies, and music together, cooked Korean food together, and learned Korean together.
However, there was a clear difference between me and him: he seemed to be better at learning, even if he spent the same amount of time studying, and he went to a prestigious university, while I failed to get into college and became depressed.
He helped me with my studies every vacation, taught me how to study, and helped me to get into a prestigious university, but the results were not good. I was rejected by all the universities I applied to, and I was going through a very difficult time. After he graduated from college, he moved back home from the East Coast of the United States and helped me study for the college entrance exam, and with his help, I was able to get into college, albeit late.
Although I didn't get into a prestigious university like my brother, I still had a satisfying college experience and broadened my horizons.Naturally, I discovered that Korea has been on the global radar lately, which was very exciting.Korea may be the latest trend for Americans these days, but for me and my brother, it's like going back to our roots.I've always loved Korea, and it was very interesting and fond to reminisce about my trip to Korea when I was in middle school and look through my photo albums, even though half the time I was sick. So, my brother and I decided to visit Korea again, and this time, we had several goals for the trip: we wanted to make sure that we got it right this time, because we didn't get it right the first time, and my brother wanted to get to know his Korean roots better, even though he is now an adult, working as an American and living as an American, and I wanted to get to know my Korean roots better in relation to my major in college, and this time, I wanted to research more about the Korean healthcare system that I had experienced as a child.
Of course, I also wanted to have fun in Korea and enjoy the freedom to roam around the country unlike when I was a student, but I didn't take it too seriously.
Korea was so different from the U.S. It had the look of a big city in the U.S., but it had its own unique vibe. It was much more developed than the neighborhoods we live in in the U.S., and everywhere you looked was filled with people, and there were hundreds or thousands of stores selling a variety of things. If you were walking around and traveling, and you got thirsty and needed a break, there were cafes all around you that you could just pop into and take a break, and you didn't have to go far to find a restaurant that had one Korean food and sold it, because all the infrastructure was there.
Everything is around you, and everything you want or need is always right around the corner, which is why people call city life so convenient and love it.The public transportation system in Korea, which is light years better than the big cities in the U.S., helped us get around without any difficulty.It was also so much fun to get a T-money card, carry it around, and use it to get around Korea for a very low cost.
And when my brother and I would walk around, going to cafes, restaurants, and other places where there was something to do, many Koreans would tell us that we made a good looking couple.When I would tell them, in a pleasant and complimentary way, that we were actually brother and sister, they would look surprised and apologize.
But it's completely understandable, because even in the U.S., more people think of us as a couple or friends than they do as siblings, and there's not much of an adoption culture in Korea, and no one adopts and brings European or American children to Korea, so it's no wonder we get these funny misunderstandings.
To be honest, even in the U.S. nowadays, you can still encounter people who ask my brother and I questions about our relationship with unpleasant intentions to hurt us, assuming that we are not a couple or friends, but maybe even a man.A recent memory is of an American grandfather in his 70s who made a very rude remark to us, asking us what kind of father our father was to have two women give birth at the same time.
In the U.S., most people are friendly and kind to me, but the problem is that some people sometimes make fun of my brother because he looks Asian, but this was not the case in Korea at all.No one discriminated against me because of my different appearance.
And there's actually a story I wasn't going to tell in this article, but I'm writing it down because I had my brother's permission to do so.After arriving in Korea, we decided to search for my adopted brother's birth parents in order to trace his roots.My parents and I respected his decision to pursue this endeavor in Korea, and of course, we decided to support it. We visited the Korean adoption agency and requested my brother's adoption records.The representative provided us with all the information possible and was eager to help us, saying that efforts to find one's roots are ongoing every day.Together, we were able to find some important clues in the records.
My brother decided to visit his birthplace based on those clues, and of course, I joined him on the journey.We were always laughing since we came to Korea, but at this moment, there was more seriousness than laughter.We visited my brother's birthplace together and talked to the local people.
At the time, there was only a vague record of my brother's father and mother, but no proper records, so we only knew where he was born, and we had to go there and find someone who had lived there for a long time.But Korea is a very fast-developing country, and the sad thing is that the area where my brother was born and spent the first few months of his life was already torn down and replaced by a huge apartment complex. We felt that if we had come sooner, at least before these new apartments were built, things would have been at least better than they were, but there was no point in regretting what had passed.We visited the social welfare center and police station in the area, explained our situation, and asked for help.The Korean people were very kind, listening to my brother's story and letting us know what we could do.
We were told that when a new apartment building is built in Korea, new people who have no connection to the area move into the apartment, but that some of the people who live in these new apartments have been living here for a long time, most likely elderly people, and that the best thing to do is to find them and ask them about their past.We felt that this information would be very useful to us, as we were very confused and frustrated.
So my brother and I, along with a Korean lady who felt sorry for us and wanted to help, approached the elderly people who came in and out of the apartment and asked them questions.But despite all our efforts, we were unsuccessful in finding my brother's biological parents.We had many clues and information, but we were unable to find any conclusive evidence.My brother was disappointed, but we were comforted by the fact that we had done our best. Maybe if we could have spent a few weeks, maybe even a few months here to find and talk to an elderly person with memories of the past, we could have found a clue to the solution, but we couldn't stay in Korea, so in the end, we had to give up without proceeding any further.When I saw the look on my brother's face as he said that if he had the chance, he would visit Korea next time for this sole purpose, I felt a great sense of disappointment.“It's a shame that we couldn't find them, but thank you for trying,” he said to me.I couldn't say it anymore.
It would have been great if he could have completed his homework, but he didn't.Contrary to my initial expectations, the Korean adoption agency tried to be as helpful as possible, and I was very grateful to the government officials in the place of my brother's supposed birth, who were very sympathetic to his situation and actively tried to help him, and to the Korean lady who passed by.
Having been treated by the Korean healthcare system in the past, I took this level of care for granted and thought that it was something that everyone could enjoy, but then, when I was a high school student in the U.S., I was seriously ill and did not receive the same care as I did in Korea, so I remember suffering terribly and tried to understand why this difference occurred.
Before I came to Korea, I had already arranged to meet with someone, and although I didn't get to visit any specialized institutions, I was able to meet with Korean college students, and I learned a lot of information from them: medical students, pharmacy students, and I was able to get a lot of information from them.
The Korean healthcare system was different from the U.S. in many ways: it was fast, efficient, and provided a high level of care at a relatively low cost.The quick response and organized system for emergencies was especially impressive.The emergency rooms in Korea were very reasonably priced, allowing people to go to them for minor and mild symptoms.At this point, I thought that if there were a lot of people going to the emergency room for minor symptoms, it would be a problem if someone came in who needed emergency care, but the hospitals in Korea made it very easy to answer that question. I also learned that when a really urgent patient comes in, the emergency room prioritizes the emergency patients and treats them first, ignoring the minor ones. It's so simple and obvious: the doctors have the skills to determine the severity of the patient's condition, and they can prioritize the treatment accordingly.
Not only that, but it was very easy to get an appointment in Korea and the wait time was short. The Korean medical staff emphasized patient care and prompt treatment, and they utilized the latest medical technology and equipment to provide the best possible medical care.
In the U.S., medical care is often very expensive, complicated, and difficult to access quickly, and many people are unable to get proper treatment due to insurance issues.I also received prompt treatment in Korea when I was in middle school without insurance and had to pay a reasonable price, but the experience was a nightmare as I remember being very sick in middle school and high school, and I felt that the Korean system was far superior.I felt that the Korean healthcare system is not for profit, but is dedicated to protecting the health of the people.
Through my experiences in Korea, I learned about a much broader world than what my brother and I knew before.There are many factors that make Korea such a great country, but the culture and system that my brother and I experienced firsthand helped us understand why.And most of all, Korea is the country that made my brother.I have grateful feelings for Korea, which is also my brother's roots.
My brother and I could tell without speaking to each other that through this visit, we saw in each other a willingness to continue to love Korea more and more, and to strive to learn and understand Korean culture.
Korea is now a country that has special meaning to me as an adult, and I think it will be a great pleasure for me to honor my brother's roots and watch Korea develop and grow.I will continue to connect with Korea and try to help more people discover its charms.
And next year, he plans to visit Korea to find his roots once again. He plans to stay in Korea for more than a month, and he will continue his best efforts during that period.

I went to a concert 2 months ago and since then am having nonstop severe ear pain that's either burning or aching. ENT says my ears are fine and I've also been to Urgent care,ER,PCP, chiropractor etc. and nothing has helped and nothing major has been found which is good but I still suffer everyday. As I write this the inside of my ear are just aching and burning so bad:/ So my question is how do I live with this,my life has been stopped,I don't work right now,I can't hardly get myself to do the things I enjoy,I only walk on the treadmill at the gym and feel extremely dizzy when I get off now. I was a healthy happy man before all this and it's just totally ruined my life. On top of the ear issues I have headaches/dizziness,fevechills daily. It's so debilitating and I really can't take the pain anymore,it's so awful.

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Last Week's List: https://www.reddit.com/RocketLeagueEsports/comments/1cxr3pk/our_top_100_pro_players_may_1319_update/
Last Standings of Split 1: https://www.reddit.com/RocketLeagueEsports/comments/1c56gss/our_top_100_pro_players_2024_splitmajor_1_last/
22-23 Season Last Standings: https://www.reddit.com/RocketLeagueEsports/comments/16gfxlt/our_top_100_rlcs_players_2223_season_last/
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A summary of the main criteria (and some observations) I'm using as I update this list:

• 1st: Good Consistency >> Peak and Floor (the main purpose of this list is to rank the good individual consistency of players, whether in games with his teammates, random people, or solo. What I mean by good consistency is a set of several factors that tell me, in my view, whether what the player is doing is normal or is he reaching his ceiling/floor, such as making fewer mistakes, being more confident in plays, having a balance between individual plays and team plays, not straying too far from his defined playstyle, all this over several games, among other factors)
• 2nd: Majors/Other Lans > Online (It's obvious that any RLCS player's goal is to win Majors and finish far in Worlds, so presumably they will put more focus and effort into these events than anything else, which is why I put the performance that players result in Lans as a priority above online events, in addition to having external factors such as the nervousness of playing at a Lan because of the crowd or other reasons, which might affect the performance and consistency of a player, are also important factors that might change the performance of a player)
• 3rd: Worlds >> Majors/Other Lans (Worlds is like Lans, only with more risk and reward, so every good or bad performance in it will change a player's placement with more weight than any other criteria, and not only will it change at the moment, but if a team or individual players perform excellently at Worlds, their ranking will be harder to drop for some time, even though this can sometimes result in a player who currently doesn't perform as expected to be quite high on the list because they won Worlds or performed well in it, but in my opinion I see that as I assume that the ultimate goal of many players is to win at least one Worlds, many players will put their all into achieving this, so they will be at their best overall performance, thus making me have to put them very high those who have good performance in it. And note that at no point do I specify that I use team result as a factor in changing player ranks, with the exception of winning Worlds. This is because for me an individual player can often be performing well but his team is not, so I try first to see how the players on that team acted as a group and as individuals, impartial to the outcome of that match)
• 4th: 3v3 > 1v1 > 2v2 (As I want to compare players on their individual overall performances, I also use the performance of those who practice the other main game modes, even though they are not official modes in RLCS, 1v1 and 2v2. This may seem unfair, as there are numerous players on the list who do not practice, or are not seen practicing, the other game modes, but in these situations I do two things: first, that player will have some disadvantage because of this on my list, even if he is having more success and results at RLCS 3v3 than a player who practices all modes but has a better current overall than him. Second, I try to either base how that player who only focuses on RLCS would perform in 1s and 2s with the way he plays, which isn't easy but since I just use my opinion without seeing a lot of stat numbers it's not so hard to just imagine, or I just do it as a imaginary balance, if that player is very consistent in 3v3 but doesn't play other modes, that player will have his overall compensated for his performance in that game mode, as it happens with RLCS players who are extremely good at 1s but do not have significant recent results on RLCS)
• 5th: RLCS > Unofficial Events (the same reasons used in the Majors and Worlds criteria can be used here as well, such as the importance of the event having more influence, the material and mental value of good performance, etc.)
• 6th: My Opinion = Our Opinion (peoples comments - and PMs - and my views on the week have the same weight, so everyone is free to say their opinion and we'll debate and make the changes that were decided)
• And lastly, some answers to pertinent questions that I think are easier to answer here than to answer each comment asking these:
• "Why do some players have a number saying how much they have moved up/down, while others don't? Or why does player A who was overtaken in place by player B not have a down arrow?" Well, those of you who have already seen some of these updates may have noticed that there are three ways for a player to move in this list, the most obvious way is for me to manually move the player up or down a defined number of positions, according to what I thought of their performance this week and/or according to your feedback, this form of movement affects other players around player A, but I do not choose to place arrows for these players who have had an indirect change in the list just to avoid filling up the updates with unnecessary symbols, I just want to focus on the player who had a direct position change. The other way for a player A to move on the list is by swapping places with a player B, this is also the way in which players enter the list, because for one player to enter, another must leave, these changes I inform below the list in the "Recent Notes" and I choose not to write the numbers on the player's side on this way again because I don't want to fill the list with information that is not necessarily needed, also other players around these who had their positions swapped are not affected. The last way for a player to change position on the list is as I said in the first way, when a player indirectly changes position because player A next to him has moved up or down, this way I don't include any arrow or number because I don't want to highlight this change so much because it was not caused by opinion or feedback from the week;
• "Why is player A below player B? Player A is clearly better than player B in all aspects, and player A beat player B this week in the regional/major" These questions are good because I can demonstrate the main factor of this list. This is not a power ranking of players, nor is it a sum of victories and positive results of each player and their teams, much less head-to-head results. In this list I try to place the most consistent players in their individual performances, so to be at the top of this list a player does not need his team to win all the time, or that he has the best mechanics of everyone on the list, he just needs to perform well over time, make fewer mistakes than others, and be crucial in important moments. Player A's team is winning a lot and player B's is losing a lot, this also matters of course, player A is mechanically gifted while player B is the "glue" of his team, this also influences the positions, but the main focus is who is being most consistent in their performance over a "long" period of time, using what you have in skills well in solo and cooperative play, no matter who your team is. Who player A faces certainly matters too, otherwise the list would be a little more messy if consistency was the only factor used when including players from less competitive or balanced regions.
• "Why don't you move player A up from 70th to 10th when he's clearly been playing really well these past few weeks?" This question also has something to do with the last question, as the answer would also be consistency, but not just for player A, but for the list as well. My goal was for this list to be a single thing that shaped itself a little each week, with gradual changes that gain pace as player A continues to perform good or bad, which demonstrates the weight of each change. If I changed a few players with such big moves each week, I would be missing out on some of that, and practically be making a new list every week. Even when there are cases where player B was playing reasonably and then the next week he becomes a sub and stops playing for the rest of the season, I can't remove him from the list straight away, as I would be saying according to the criteria that player B suddenly lost all his consistency from one moment to the next, and there is also the chance that player B will leave the sub and return to playing the way he used to.
• "And why 100 players? It would be much easier 20 or 30 at most" For this, I completely agree that making a top 20 would be much more acceptable than what I've been doing, but I also see countless other lists like that, so for me it would be more boring to make a list like that using only 20 or 30 players when you have other more "true" lists like that to see, which have more concrete data than pure opinion. This way of doing I also think it's cool to represent more players, more regions, more teams, and it's much more dynamic with more options of players to choose from. So in short, I only do it this way because I think it's cooler lol.

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The List (15th of the Season):

1. 🟰🇫🇷 Zen 👑
2. ⬆️🇺🇸 BeastMode
3. 🟰🇲🇦 Itachi
4. 🔻🇫🇷 Vatira
5. 🟰🇫🇷 Seikoo
6. ⬆️🇫🇷 M0nkeyM00n
7. ⬆️🇺🇸 Daniel
8. ⬆️🇸🇦 Trk511 (+1)
9. 🔻🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Rise
10. 🔻🇺🇸 Firstkiller
11. ⬆️🇺🇸 Atomic
12. 🟰🇫🇷 Alpha54
13. 🔻🇧🇪 Atow
14. 🟰🇫🇷 Juicy
15. 🟰🇸🇦 Rw9
16. 🟰🇲🇦 Dralii
17. 🟰🇸🇦 Nwpo
18. 🟰🇫🇷 ExoTiiK
19. ⬆️🇸🇦 Kiileerrz (+1)
20. ⬆️🇵🇱 Oski (+2)
21. 🟰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 ApparentlyJack
22. ⬆️🇫🇷 Radosin (+1)
23. 🟰🇧🇷 Yanxnz
24. ⬆️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Joyo
25. 🟰🇺🇸 Lj
26. 🟰🇧🇷 Lostt
27. 🔻🇺🇸 Chronic
28. 🟰🇧🇷 Drufinho
29. 🟰🇺🇸 Hockser
30. 🟰🇪🇸 Crr
31. 🟰🇪🇸 AtomiK
32. ⬆️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Noly
33. ⬆️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Archie (+3)
34. 🟰🇨🇱 Reysbull
35. 🟰🇳🇱 Joreuz
36. 🔻🇺🇸 Chicago
37. ⬆️🇨🇦 JKnaps
38. 🟰🇸🇦 Smw
39. ⬆️🇧🇷 Kv1 (+2)
40. 🔻🇲🇦 Nass
41. 🟰🇸🇦 Ahmad
42. ⬆️🇺🇸 Justin
43. 🟰🇺🇸 Ayyjayy
44. 🟰🇺🇸 Cheese
45. ⬆️🇵🇹 AcroniK (+2)
46. 🟰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Kash
47. 🔻🇺🇸 Retals
48. ⬆️🇺🇸 Comm
49. 🟰🇧🇷 Diaz
50. 🔻🇺🇸 Arsenal
51. 🟰🇧🇷 Nxghtt
52. ⬆️🇧🇷 Motta
53. 🔻🇺🇸 Majicbear (-2)
54. 🟰🇸🇦 M7sn
55. ⬆️🇺🇸 2Piece (+2)
56. 🟰🇪🇸 Stizzy
57. 🟰🇺🇸 LionBlaze
58. 🔻🇪🇸 Dorito
59. 🟰🇧🇷 Swiftt
60. 🟰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Eekso
61. ⬆️🇺🇸 Paarth
62. 🟰🇩🇪 Rezears
63. ⬆️🇧🇷 Aztromick
64. ⬆️🇦🇹 Ivn (+2)
65. 🟰🇦🇷 Ajg
66. 🔻🇸🇦 Okhalid
67. 🔻🇺🇸 Evoh
68. ⬆️🇺🇸 Andy
69. 🟰🇩🇪 Tox
70. ⬆️🇦🇺 Bananahead
71. 🔻🇺🇸 Wahvey
72. 🔻🇧🇷 Droppz
73. ⬆️🇦🇺 Fever (+4)
74. 🟰🇳🇱 Oaly
75. 🟰🇧🇷 Brad
76. 🟰🇺🇸 Zineel
77. 🟰🇩🇪 Catalysm
78. 🟰🇧🇷 Sad
79. 🟰🇦🇺 Amphis
80. 🟰🇪🇸 MaRc_By_8
81. 🟰🇺🇸 Frosty
82. 🟰🇧🇷 Bemmz
83. ⬆️🇺🇸 Aqua
84. ⬆️🇪🇸 TehQoz
85. 🔻🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Creamz
86. 🔻🇧🇪 AztraL (-1)
87. 🔻🇺🇸 GarrettG
88. 🟰🇧🇷 Wisty
89. 🟰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Rehzzy
90. ⬆️🇺🇸 Aris (+6)
91. 🟰🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 RelatingWave
92. ⬆️🇸🇦 Venom (New)
93. 🟰🇦🇺 Superlachie
94. ⬆️🇺🇸 Fiv3Up (New)
95. 🟰🇺🇸 Percy
96. ⬆️🇩🇪Rizex45 (+1)
97. ⬆️🇺🇸 Gyro
98. ⬆️🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Toxiic (+2)
99. 🟰🇦🇺 Torsos
100. 🔻🇺🇸 Reveal

(⬆️): Rising, (🔻): Falling, (🟰): No Direct Change
____________________________________
Recent Notes:
• Out of the List: 🇸🇦 T7LM and 🇺🇸 Mist 😰
• 🇸🇦 Venom re-enters the list in place of 🇸🇦 T7LM at 92nd place 👏
• 🇺🇸 Fiv3Up re-enters the list in place of 🇺🇸 Mist at 94th place 👏
• 🇺🇸 Gyro and 🇺🇸 Reveal swap places
• 🇪🇸 TehQoz and 🇺🇸 GarrettG swap places
•🇺🇸 Aqua and 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 Creamz swap places
• 🇦🇺 Bananahead and 🇧🇷 Droppz swap places
• 🇺🇸 Andy and 🇺🇸 Wahvey swap places
• 🇧🇷 Aztromick and 🇺🇸 Evoh swap places
• 🇺🇸 Paarth and 🇸🇦 Okhalid swap places
• 🇧🇷 Motta and 🇪🇸 Dorito swap places
• 🇺🇸 Comm and 🇺🇸 Arsenal swap places
• 🇺🇸 Justin and 🇺🇸 Retals swap places
• 🇨🇦 JKnaps and 🇲🇦 Nass swap places
• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Noly and 🇺🇸 Chicago swap places
• 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Joyo and 🇺🇸 Chronic swap places
• 🇺🇸 Atomic and 🇧🇪 Atow swap places
• 🇺🇸 Daniel and 🇺🇸 Firstkiller swap places
• 🇫🇷 M0nkeyM00n and 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Rise swap places
• 🇺🇸 BeastMode and 🇫🇷 Vatira swap places
____________________________________
Top 5 Rising and Falling Players (Past Two Updates):
Fastest ⬆️

• 1st: 🇦🇺 Fever +13
• 2nd: 🇦🇺 Bananahead +10
• 3rd: 🇧🇷 Aztromick +7
• 4th: 🇺🇸 2Piece, 🇺🇸 Aris, 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Joyo and 🇺🇸 Justin +6
• 5th: 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Archie, 🇦🇹 Ivn, 🇫🇷 M0nkeyM00n, 🇸🇦 Smw and 🇪🇸 TehQoz +5

Fastest 🔻

• 1st: 🇧🇪 AztraL, 🇪🇸 Dorito and 🇸🇦 Okhalid -9
• 2nd: 🇺🇸 Evoh and 🇪🇸 MaRc_By_8 -8
• 3rd: 🇺🇸 Firstkiller and 🇺🇸 Retals -7
• 4th: 🇺🇸 Ayyjayy, 🇺🇸 GarrettG and 🇲🇦 Nass -6
• 5th: 🇧🇪 Atow, 🇺🇸 Chronic, 🇧🇷 Droppz, 🇺🇸 Reveal and 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Rise -5

____________________________________
Average Top 10 Teams (as of player rankings this week):

1. G2 Stride 🇺🇸 - (6.6) ⬆️
2. Gentle Mates 🇲🇦🇫🇷 - (7.3)
3. Karmine Corp 🇫🇷🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🇧🇪 - (8.6) 🔻
4. Vitality 🇫🇷 - (11.6) ⬆️
5. Team BDS 🇫🇷🇲🇦 - (13.3) ⬆️
6. Team Falcons 🇸🇦 - (14) ⬆️
7. Gen.G 🇺🇸🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 - (19.3) 🔻
8. Oxygen Esports 🇵🇱🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 - (25.6) ⬆️
9. Furia 🇧🇷 - (25.6) 🔻
10. Spacestation 🇺🇸 - (30) 🔻

____________________________________

Edgiscript: Kimchi's a little under the weather, so I'll tell you that this is where you can find info on monetization An Introdu ction To The Book That Is Me : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com) and here's my library Masterlist for edgiscript : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com) . That's all.
Kimchi: HAAAAAAAA!!!!
Edgiscript: EEEAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!! Kimchi? What the hell?
Kimchi: It's not that easy to make that interesting and fun, is it?
Edgiscript: I... was... so concerned about your health, that I... couldn't... spend any time to... make this fun.
Kimchi: Awwwwww. That's so sweet. Utter BS, but still sweet.
------------------------------------------------
Part 6: [F4M] Play Time - 6 out of Checkmate [Kimchi Cat-Girl Speaker] [Hubby Human Listener] [Playing Board/Bored Games] [Rickety-Ass Stairs] [Colonel/Kernel] [You Sank My Battleship] [Give Me Back My Piece] : ASMRScriptHaven (reddit.com)
-------------------------------------------------

Part 7

Kimchi: (Singsong voice.) Hubbyyyyyyyy? Huuuuuubbyyyyyyyy? I’m coming to geeeeet youuuuuuuu.
(Snickers and giggles.) Ooh, you are so good at this. I love playing hide and seek with you so much. The park has so many good hiding spots, but out here, you don’t have the advantage of having everything smell like you. So… I can follow… your scent… to… HERE!
Hah, haaaaaah. I see you. You can run, and you can laugh, I love your laugh, but you can’t hide anymore. I’m almost on you. I’m going to POUNCE…
(Kimchi crashes in some leaves.)
Hubby, what are you doing? You came back to get me. You should have used that opportunity to get away. Now the hunt is over. That’s no fun.
(Pause.)
Well, yeah, I missed. That’s what I meant. I missed, so why didn’t you keep running?
(Pause.)
Yeah, I suppose I’ve never missed before, but, you know, it happens. Why didn’t you run?
(Pause.)
Awwww, you were worried about me. Did you think I’d hurt myself? Well, thanks, hubby, but you don’t have to worry. Cats are invulnerable. I’ve got nine lives, remember? That means I can’t get hurt.
(Pause.)
Does too mean that.
(Pause.)
That’s right, there’s no point arguing with me. Why would you try to correct me when I’m right?
(Pause.)
What d’ya mean, I don’t look so good?
(Sounding hurt.) I thought you thought I was pretty.
(Pause.)
(Brightening up.) Oh, you do think I’m beautiful. You meant I look a little off.
In what way?
(Pause.)
Why would you think that, silly? And why are there two of you all of a suddenly? All of a suggen. Sudden. Whatever.
(Pause.)
No, I didn’t hit my head when I landed. What would I have hit my head on. There’s nothing but leaves here. I just… (Sneezes.)
Sorry, hubby. That came out of nowhere. I just… (Sneezes.)
No, I don’t know. Maybe allergies.
(Pause.)
Nope, never had allergies before, but I can’t think of another reason why I might… (A few coughs.)
(Pause.)
Whaaaaaaat? Sick? No way. Cats don’t get sick. That’s a silly human thing.
(Pause.)
Cats do not get sick. I told you, cats are invulnertable.
(Pause.)
Right, that’s what I said. Invulnerable. Geez, hubby. You’re thinking I’m sick, but you’re the one not hearing things properly.
Now, if you’ll stop being so silly and doing things like spinning in circles, we could get back to our game.
(Pause.)
Don’t tell me you’re not spinning. You and the whole forest is doing it. I’m actually impressed. How did you manage to get the whole park to… ohhhhhh.
(Kimchi faints. When she wakes up, she’s in bed. She sounds a little groggy.)
Hubby? What happened? Why am I in bed? Where did the forest go?
(Pause.)
Yes, the park. The grass, the trees, the leaves. Where did it go?
(Pause.)
I did not pass out. I can fall asleep very quickly, but only when I’m trying. And I wasn’t trying.
I wanted to catch you. That’s our Saturday game. I get to hunt you in the morning and then I have the rest of the day to make you happy after I catch you.
I love being the hunter and you love being the prey. I love our Saturdays. You don’t have to go to work. I get to play with you all day. Now what happened?
(Pause.)
No, no, hubby. I think you’re confused. I carry you when I catch you. You don’t carry me. You couldn’t have carried me all the way home.
(Pause.)
No, hubby, it’s not that I think you’re not strong enough, it’s just that it doesn’t happen that way. I catch you. I carry you. I make you happy. Do you see the relationship here? Me to you. You’re getting it backwards. Now let me get up and…
(Kimchi tries to get up but stops right away. Sore, painful moans. Kimchi starts to sound a little groggier and now sounds a little stuffed up as well. If you want to cough at times, go ahead when you think it works.)
Ohhhh. Ohhh, OOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH. My body hurts. Why does my body hurt?
What did you do to me? What did I do to me? Wait, did the forest do this to me? I didn’t know it could do that. I thought it liked me. What’s going on?
(Pause.)
A fever? Pfft. Cats don’t get fevers.
(Pause.)
No, I’m not dizzy, and I don’t have body aches. I’m a cat. We’re invulnershuble. Invernatable. Invlurt… We can’t get sick.
(Pause.)
Of course I can say the word. I’ve said it before, many times. You’ve heard me say it.
(Pause.)
I… just… don’t want to say it right now. That’s all. It has nothing to do with the fact that I’m dizzy and achy all over.
(Pause.)
Oh, drat. You tricked me. Ok, fine, I’m a little dizzy, but that’s probably just because I crashed into those leaves.
(Pause.)
Yes, those leaves. There were a lot of them. And they were really big. They ganged up on me. Why does the park not like me all of a sudden?
(Pause.)
(Kimchi sounds even more stuffed up now.) No, my nose isn’t starting to run. Legs run. Noses sniff. Hubby, I think you’re the one who’s sick if you forgot that.
(Pause.)
Oh, you mean I’m leaking. Yeah, you’re right. What’s this coming out of my nose?
(Pause.)
Ewwww, that’s disgusting. How could that be?
(Pause.)
What’s that? A Kleenex? What do I do with it?
(Pause.)
Ok. (Blows nose.) WOW! Hubby, look at this. That came out of me. What’s going on?
And why am I naked with the air conditioner on? It’s freezing in here.
(Pause.)
What? I can’t be in my pajamas and under the covers. It’s so cold, I…
Huh. I guess you’re right. Wow. How did I not know that? And why am I so cold?
Wait. What’s that? (Distrustful.) Hubbyyyyy, what is that?
(Pause.)
Yes, that filthy, disgusting, vomit inducing, nasty goop that smells like you pulled it out of the garbage disposal. And why are you pouring some of it into a spoon?
(Pause.)
You can’t be serious. There is no way I’m swallowing that.
(Pause.)
You humans do it all the time? What, in the literal hell, is wrong with you? No wonder cats are superior in every way when you’re sabotaging yourself as a species by eating that filth.
(Pause.)
You can call it medicine and good for me if you want, but I know better. And it doesn’t matter. I’m not sick.
(Kimchi gets a little panicky.)
Hubby? Where are you going?
(Pause.)
(Quietly, afraid to admit the truth.) Well… yeah… I guess some chicken soup does sound kinda good right now. I suppose I’d like some. But only because I always like your chicken soup. It’s nummy.
If… if you wanted to make me some, I guess I’d eat it.
(Pause)
(Panicky.) Hubby? Wait. Don’t… don’t go.
(Pause.)
Yes, I know the ingredients and the stove aren’t in here, but… I don’t want you to go.
(Pause.)
I know you’re not leaving the apartment, but I don’t want you to go… anywhere. I… don’t want you to leave me.
(Pause.)
No, please. I’m…
(Sweetly, tenderly, frightened.) I’m scared. Hubby… I’m scared. I’ve never felt like this before. I’m… sick. That means I could… I could die, right? What if you left, even for a minute, and I needed you. I think that… if you go… even for a little bit… I might…
(Long pause. Hubby walks to the dresser and opens a drawer to get something.)
Hubby, what is that? Why are you counting to ten?
(Pause.)
You’re tying a bow on my wrist.
(Pause.)
Yes, it is pretty. I like the color very much. You make a nice bow. I like it.
(Pause.)
What? There was no hunt.
(Pause.)
Oh, so that’s what the counting meant. You started a game, didn’t you? You caught me. You tied me… with this bow. And now you have to make me happy.
(Pause.)
That’s right. Those are the rules.
(Pause. From now on, Kimchi sounds more and more tired, and gets quieter and quieter until she falls asleep.)
Yes, please. Climb into bed with me and hold me.
(Pause.)
Thank you, hubby. You feel so warm. And your arms around me makes me feel safe.
I don’t like being sick. It makes me scared. I don’t want to die, hubby. I don’t want you to go away.
(Pause.)
Ok. I guess you’re right. I can’t die with you here now because you have to make me happy, and being apart from you would make me sad.
(Pause.)
Yes, that’s right. You have to make me happy. Those are the rules. And you are, hubby. You are making me very happy right now.
(Pause.)
Oh, yes, hubby. Stroking my hair feels so good. I always like it when you pet me.
(Pause.)
And scritch my ears. Just like that.
(Pause.)
Yes, I like laying on your chest. Is it ok if I squeeze you?
(Pause.)
Yes, that would make me happy.
(Pause.)
That’s good. If I hold on tighter, you’re even warmer. How is that possible? Am I squeezing warmth out of you?
(Pause.)
Hubby, thank you. You make me not scared. I love you, hubby. I love you. I’m so glad you’re mine.
(Pause.)
No, I’m not yours. You’re mine.
(Pause.)
Ok. I’m yours too.
(Pause.)
Yes, that makes me happy.
(Pause.)
No, I’m not going to fall asleep. I just like laying here with you.
(Pause.)
So what if my eyes are closed. That means I’m comfortable.
(Pause.)
Yes, I am a good hunter. I love to catch you and make you happy, because I love you.
But… I always wondered why you liked being the prey so much. Now I know. This is nice. You’re nice.
I like you taking care of me. I love you, hubby. I… love…
(Kimchi falls asleep.)
Part 8 next.

I was on track to completing the TMDSAS within the first week of submissions opening, and same with AMCAS, despite a difficult semester and finals season. But I had committed to a mission trip to the Philippines right after finals from May 15-30 (I'm still in the Philippines). During the trip, I was still on track to finishing my apps, but then I received word that my granduncle died suddenly, and I also got a bad viral infection and was bedridden for a few days, fever and vomiting several times. I'm still recovering and am so worried since AMCAS opened today and I am still working on TMDSAS (I'm so close too)...I just feel like I've been set so behind, trying to push through grief and physical limitations. We are supposed to be traveling back soon, and its around 24 hours of traveling, which on top of everything else, is going to be extremely draining. I know it is not too late, and I'm going to focus on submitting my best work rather than submit as quickly as possible, but any advice, comments, or encouragement would be great.

PLAYBOY Interview With Conan O'Brien Interview by Kevin Cook For Playboy Magazine February 1998
A candid conversation with the preppie prince of "Late Night" about his rocky start, his show's secret one-day cancellation and how David Letterman saved the day.
He was polite. He was funny. He gave us a communicable disease.
At 34 Conan O'Brien is hotter than the fever he was running when we met in his private domain above the "Late Night" sound stage. A gangly freckle-faced ex-high school geek he is "one of TV's hottest properties" according to "People" magazine. The host of "Late Night With Conan O'Brien" has become his generation's king of comedy.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown. Congested too, but O'Brien has far more to worry about than his head cold. A perfectionist who broods over one bad minute in an otherwise perfect hour of TV, he worries he might be anhedonic, "I have trouble with success," he says, "I was raised to believe that if something good happens something bad is coming." Sure things look good now "Rolling Stone" calls "Late Night" "the hottest comedy show on TV." Ratings are better than ever, particularly among 18- to 34-year-olds, the viewers advertisers crave.
But O'Brien only works harder. Despite his illness he taped two shows in 26 hours on three hours' sleep. He smoothly interviewed Elton John then burst into coughing fits during commercials. Later in his crammed corner office overlooking Manhattan traffic Conan the Cool gulped Dayquil gel caps. He coughed spewing microbes.
"Sorry, sorry," he said. Of course O'Brien can't complain. He came seriously close to falling to being banished behind the scenes as just another failed talk show host.
At his first "Late Night" press conference he corrected a reporter who called him a relative unknown, "Sir I am a complete unknown," he said. That line got a laugh, but soon O'Brien looked doomed. His September 13, 1993 debut began with O'Brien in his dressing room preparing to hang himself only to be interrupted by the start of his show. Before long his career was hanging by a thread. Ratings were terrible. Critics hated the show. Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called it as "lifeless and messy as roadkill." Shales said O'Brien should quit.
Network officials held urgent meetings discussing the Conan O'Brien debacle. Should they fire him? How should they explain their mistake?
In the end of course he turned it around. The network hung with him long enough for the ratings to improve and the host of the cooler-than-ever "Late Night" now defines comedy's cutting edge just as Letterman did ten years ago.
Even Shales loves "Late Night" these days. He calls O'Brien's turnaround "one of the most amazing transformations in television history."
O'Brien was born on April 18, 1963 in Brookline, Massachusetts. His father, a doctor, is a professor at Harvard Medical School. His mother, a lawyer, is a partner at an elite Boston Law firm. Conan, the third of six children became a lector at church and a misfit at school. Tall and goofy, bedeviled with acne, he tried to impress girls with jokes. That plan usually bombed, but O'Brien eventually found his niche at Harvard where he won the presidency of the "Harvard Lampoon" in 1983 and again in 1984 - the first two-time "Lampoon" president since humorist Robert Benchley held the honor 85 years ago.
After graduating magna cum laude with a double major in literature and American history he turned pro. Writing for HBO's "Not Necessarily The News." O'Brien was earning $100,000 a year before his 24th birthday. But writing was never enough.
He honed his performance skills with the Groundlings, a Los Angeles improv group. There he worked with his onetime girlfriend Lisa Kudrow, now starring on "Friends." But Conan was not such a standout. In 1988 he landed a job at "Saturday Night Live" - but as a writer, not as on-air talent. In almost four years on the show O'Brien made only fleeting appearances, usually as a crowd member or security guard. His writing was more memorable. He wrote (or co-wrote) Tom hanks' "Mr Short-Term Memory" skits as well as the "pump you up" infosatire of Hanz and Franz and the nude beach sketch in which Matthew Broderick and "SNL" members played nudists admiring one another's penises. With dozens of mentions of the word that hit was the most penis-heavy moment in TV history. It helped O'Brien win an Emmy for comedy writing.
In 1991 he quit "SNL" and moved on to "The Simpsons" where he worked for two years. His urge to perform came out in wall-bouncing antics in writers' meetings. "Conan makes you fall out of your chair" said "Simpsons" creator Matt Groening. O'Brien's yen to act out was so strong that he spurned Fox's reported seven-figure offer to continue as a writer. He was driving for the spotlight.
By then David Letterman had announced he was turning shin - leaving NBC taking his ton-rated act to CBS. Suddenly NBC was up a creek without a host. The network turned to Lorne Michaels, O'Brien's "Saturday Night Live" boss. Michaels enlisted Conan's help in the host search planning to use him in a behind-the-scenes job. But when Garry Shandling, Dana Carvey and almost every other star turned down the chore of following Letterman, Michaels finally listened to Conan's crazy suggestion, "Let me do it!" Michaels persuaded the network to entrust it's 12:30 slot which Letterman had turned into a gold mine to an untested wiseass from Harvard.
O'Brien was working on one of his last "Simpsons" episodes when he got the news. He turned "paler than usual," Groening recalled. The Conan moseyed back to where the other writers were working, "I'll come back with the Homer Simspon joke later. I have to go replace Letterman," he said.
NBC executives now get credit for their foresight during those dark days of 1993 and 1994. They snared the axe and now reap the multimillion-dollar spoils of that decision. In fact, the story is not so simple. We sent Contributing Editor Kevin Cook to unravel the tale of O'Brien's survival, which he tells here for the first time. Cook reports:
"His office is chock-full of significa. There's a three-foot plastic pickle the Letterman staff left behind in 1993 - perhaps to suggest what a predicament he was in. There's a copy of Jack Paar's 'I Kid You Not' and a coffee-table book called 'Saturday Night Live: The First 20 Years.' His bulletin board features letters from fans such as John Watters and Bob Dole and an 8" x 10" glossy of Andy Richter with the inscription: "To Conan - Your bitter jealousy warms my black heart. Love and Kisses Andy."
"Of course it's all for show. From the photos of kitch icons Adam West and Robert Stack to the framed Stan Laurel autograph, from the deathbed painting of Abraham Lincoln, to the ironic star taped to Conan's door - they're all clever signals that tell a visitor how to view the star. Lincoln was his collegiate preoccupation: stardom is his occupation. Somewhere between the two I hoped to find the real O'Brien.
"As a Playboy reader he wanted to give me a better-than-average interview. I wanted something more - a definitive look at the guy who may end up being the Johnny Carson of his generation."
"Here's hoping we succeeded. If not I carried his germs 3000 miles and infected dozens of Californians for no good reason.
O'Brien: Yes, this is how to do a Playboy Interview -- completely tanked on cold medicine. I'll pick it up and read, "Yes, I'm gay."
Playboy: We could talk another time. O'Brien: (coughing) No, it's OK. I memorized Dennis Rodman's answers. Can I use them?
Playboy: You sound really sick. Do you ever take a day off? O'Brien: No. The age of talk show hosts taking days off is over. Johnny Carson could go to Africa when he was the only game in town -- "See you in two weeks!" But nobody does that now. I will give you a million dollars on the first day Jay takes off for illness.
Playboy: Do you ever slow down and enjoy your success? O'Brien: If anything, the pace is picking up. Restaurateurs insist on giving me a table even if I'm only passing by, so I'm eating nine meals a night. Women stop me on the street and hand me their phone numbers.
Playboy: So you have groupies? O'Brien: Oh yes. And other fans. Drifters. Prisoners. Insomniacs. Cab Drivers, who must watch a lot of late night TV, seem to love me lately. They keep saying, "You will not pay, you will not pay, you make me happy!"
Playboy: How happy did your new contract make you? O'Brien: Terrified. The network said, "We're all set for five years." I said, "Shut up, shut up! I can't think that far ahead." Tonight, for instance, I do my jokes, then interview Elton John and Tim Meadows. We finished taping about 6:30. By 6:45 my memory was erased and my only thought was, Tomorrow: John Tesh. And I started to obsess about John Tesh. Sad, don't you think?
Playboy: Not too sad. You got off to a rocky start but now you're so hot that People magazine recently said, "that was then, this is wow." O'Brien: I try not to pay much attention. Since I ignored the critics who said I should shoot myself in the head with a German Luger, it would be cheating to tear out nice reviews now and rub them all over my body, giggling. Though I have thought about it.
Playboy: Tell us about your trademark gag. You interview a photo of Bill Clinton or some other celeb, and a pair of superimposed lips provide outrageous answers. O'Brien: We call it the Clutch Cargo bit, after that terrible old cartoon series. They saved money on animation by superimposing real lips on the cartoons. I wanted to do topical jokes in a cartoony way -- not just Conan doing quips at a desk. TV is visual; I want things to look funny. But we're not Saturday Night Live; we couldn't spend $100,000 on it. Hence, the cheap, cheesy lips, You'd be surprised how many people we fool.
Playboy: Viewers believe that's really the president yelling, "Yee-haw! Who's got a joint?" O'Brien: It's strange. You may know intellectually that Clinton doesn't talk like Foghorn Leghorn. Ninety-eight percent of your brain knows the president wouldn't say, "Whoa Conan get a load of that girl!" But there are a few brain cells that aren't sure. When Bob Dole was running for president we had him doing a past-life regression: "My cave, get away." And then back further, "Must form flippers to crawl on to rocky soil," he says. There may be people out there who believe that Bob Dole was the first amphibian.
Playboy: Do you ever go too far? O'Brien: The fun is in going too far. It's a nice device because you get Bill Clinton to do the nastiest Bill Clinton jokes. We'll have Clinton making fart noises while I say "Sir! Please!"
Playboy: Are you enjoying your job now, with your new success? O'Brien: Well, there are surprises. I hate surprises. Like most comics, I'm a control freak. But I am learning that the show works best when things are out of control. Tonight I ask Elton John if he likes being neighbors with Joan Collins. He says he isn't neighbors with Joan Collins. He lives next door to Tina Turner. So I panic -- huge mistake! But Elton saves the day. "Joan Collins, Tina Turner, it doesn't matter. Either way I could borrow a wig," he says. Huge laugh, all because I fucked up. Later he surprised me by blurting out that he's hung like a horse. The camera cuts to me shaking my head: That crazy Elton. What can I do? Of course, I'm delighted that he went too far.
Playboy: That "What can I do?" look resembles a classic take of Jack Benny's. O'Brien: There's an old saying in literature: "Good poets borrow; great poets steal." I think T.S. Eliot stole it from Ezra Pound. Comics steal, too. Constantly. When I watched Johnny Carson, I noticed that he got a few takes from Benny and Bob Hope. When a comedy writer told me how much Woody Allen had borrowed from Hope, I thought, What? They're nothing alike. Then I went back and watched Son of Paleface, and there's Hope, the nervous city guy backing up on his heels, wringing his hands and saying, "Sorry, I'll just be moving along." Now look at early Woody Allen. You see big authority figures and Woody nervously saying, "Look, I'll just be on my way." Of course Woody made it his own, but he must have watched and loved Bob Hope.
Playboy: Who are your role models? O'Brien: Carson. Woody Allen. SCTV. Peter Sellers. When Peter Sellers died I felt such a loss, thinking, There won't be anymore of that. There's some Steve Martin in my false bravado with female guests: "Why, hel-lo there!" And I won't deny having some Letterman in my bones.
Playboy: You were surprise as Letterman's successor. At first you seemed like the wrong choice. O'Brien: I didn't get ratings. That doesn't mean I didn't get laughs. Yes, I had a giant pompadour and I looked like a rockabilly freak. I was too excited, pushed too hard, and people said, "That guy isn't a polished performer." Fine! But it isn't my goal to be Joe Handsomehead cool, smooth talk show host. Late Night with Conan O'Brien is supposed to be a work in progress, and now that we've had some success there's a danger of our getting too polished and morphing into something smoothly professional. Which would suck.
Do you know why I wanted this show? Because Late Night with David Letterman played with the rules and it looked like fun. Here was a place where people did risky comedy every night for millions of people. We had to keep this thing alive. There should be a place on a big network where people are still messing around.
Playboy: How bad were your early days on the show? O'Brien: Bad. Dave left here under a cloud: his fans and the media were angry with NBC. Then NBC picks a guy with crazy hair and a weird name. And the world says, "Harvard? Those guys are assholes." I sincerely hope that the winter of December 1993, our first winter, was the worst time I will ever have. I'd go out to do the warm up and the back two rows of seats would be empty. That's hard to look at. I would tell a joke and then hear someone whisper, "Who's he? Where's Dave?"
Playboy: You had trouble getting guests. O'Brien: Bob Denver canceled on us. We shot a test show with Al Lewis of The Munsters. We did the clutch cargo thing with a photo of Herman Munster. Unfortunately, Fred Gwynne, who played Herman, had recently died, and Al Lewis kept pointing at the screen, saying, "You're dead! I was at your funeral!"
Playboy: For months you got worried notes from network executives. What did they say? O'Brien: They were worried. The fact that Lorne Michaels was involved bought me some time. But Lorne had turned to me at the start and said, "OK, Conan. What do you want to do?" Now television critics were after me and the network was starting to realize what a risk I was. Suggestions came fast and furious. I kept the note that said, "Why don't you just die?"
Playboy: Did they suggest ways to be funnier? O'Brien: They were more specific and tactical. The network gets very specific data. Say there was a drop in ratings between 12:44 and 12:48 when I was talking to Jon Bon Jovi. I'll be told, "Don't ever talk to him again" Or they'll want me to tease viewers into staying with us: "You should tease that -- say, 'We'll have nudity coming up next!'"
Playboy: You did come close to being cancelled. O'Brien: We were cancelled.
Playboy: Really? You have never admitted that. O'Brien: This is the first time I've talked about it. When I had been on for about a year, there was a meeting at the network. They decided to cancel my show. They said, "It's cancelled." Next day they realized they had nothing to put in the 12:30 slot, so we got a reprieve.
Playboy: Were you worried sick? O'Brien: I went into denial. I tried hard not to think, Yes, I'm bad on the air and my show has none of the things a TV show needs to survive. We had no ratings. No critics in our corner. Advertisers didn't like us. Affiliates wanted to drop us. Sometimes I'd meet a programming director from a local station where we had no rating at all. The guy would show me a printout with no number for Late Night's rating, just a hash mark or pound sign. I didn't dare think about that when I went out to do the show.
Playboy: Are you defending denial? O'Brien: How else does anyone get through a terrible experience? The odds were against me. Rationally, I didn't have much chance. Denial was my only friend. When I look back on the first year, it's like a scene from an old war movie: Ordinary guy gets thrown into combat, somehow beats impossible odds, staggers to safety. His buddy say, "You could have been killed!" The guy stops and thinks. "Could have been killed?" he says. His eyes cross and he faints.
Playboy: How did you dodge the bullet? O'Brien: There were people at NBC who stood up for me. I will always be indebted to Don Ohlmeyer, who stuck to his guns. Don said, "We chose this guy. We should stick with him unless we get a better plan." He was brutally honest. He came to me and said, "Give me about a 15 percent bump in the ratings and you'll stay on the air. If not, we're going to move on."
Playboy: Ohlmeyer started his career in the sports division. O'Brien: Exactly, his take was, "You're on our team." Of course, it wasn't exactly rational of Don to hope I'd be 15 percent funnier. It was like telling a farmer, "It better rain this week or we'll take your farm away."
Playboy: What did you say to Ohlmeyer? O'Brien: There wasn't time. I had to go out and do a monologue. But I will always be indebted to Don because he told me the truth. Wait a minute -- you have tricked me into talking lovingly about an NBC executive. Let me say that there were others who were beneath contempt -- executives who wouldn't know a good show if it swam up their asses and lit a campfire.
Playboy: Finally the ratings went your way. Hard work rewarded? O'Brien: Well, I also paid off the Nielsen people. That was $140,000 well spent.
Playboy: Ohlmeyer plus bribery saved you? O'Brien: There was something else. Just when everyone was kicking the crap out of the show, Letterman defended me.
Playboy: Letterman had signed off on NBC saying, "I don't really know Conan O'Brien, but I heard he killed someone." O'Brien: Then I pick up the paper and he's saying he thinks I am going to make it. "They do some interesting, innovative stuff over there," he says. "I think Conan will prevail." And then he came on as a guest. Remember, this was when we were at our nadir. There was no Machiavellian reason for David Letterman, who at the time was the biggest thing in show business, to be on my show.
Playboy: Why did he do it? O'Brien: I'm still not sure. Maybe out of a sense of honor. Fair play. And it woke me up. It made me think. Hey, we have a real fucking television show here.
Of six or seven pivotal points in my short history here, that was the first and maybe the biggest. I wouldn't be sitting here -- I probably wouldn't even exist today -- if he hadn't done our show.
Playboy: The Late Night wars were hardly noted for friendly gestures. O'Brien: How little you understand. Jay, Dave and I pal around all the time. We often ride a bicycle built for three up to the country. "Nice job with Fran Drescher!" "Thanks, pal. You weren't so bad with John Tesh." We sleep in triple-decker bunk beds and snore in unison like the Three Stooges.
Playboy: You talk more about Letterman than your NBC teammate Leno. O'Brien: I hate the "Leno or Letterman, who's better?" question. I can tell you that Jay has been great to me. He calls me occasionally.
Playboy: To say what? O'Brien: (Doing Leno's voice) "Hey, liked that bit you did last night." Or he'll say he saw we got a good rating. I call him at work, too. It can be a strange conversation because we're so different. Jay, for instance, really loves cars. He's got antique cars with kerosene lanterns, cars that run on peat moss. He'll be telling me about some classic car he has, made entirely of brass and leather, and I'll say, "Yeah, man, I got the Taurus with the vinyl." One thing we have in common is bad guests. There are certain actors, celebrities with nothing to say, who move through the talk show world wreaking havoc. They lay waste to Dave's town and Jay's town, then head my way.
Playboy: You must be getting some good guests. Your ratings have shown a marked improvement. O'Brien: Remember, when you're on at 12:30 the Nielsens are based on 80 people. My ratings drop if one person has a head cold and goes to bed early.
Playboy: Actually, you're seen by about 3 million people a night. Your ratings would be even higher if college dorms weren't excluded from the Nielsens. How many points does that cost you? O'Brien: I told you I'm an idiot. Now I have to do math too?
Playboy: Do you still get suggestions from NBC executives? O'Brien: Not as many. The number of notes you get is inversely proportional to your ratings.
Playboy: What keeps you motivated? O'Brien: Superstition. We have a stagehand, Bobby Bowman, who holds up the curtain when I run out for the monologue. He is the last person I see before the show starts, and I have to make him laugh before I go out. It started with mild jabs: "Bobby, you're drunk again." Bobby laughs, "Heehee."" Then it was, "Still having trouble with the wife, Bobby?" But after hundreds of shows, you find yourself running out of lines. It's gotten to where I do crass things at the last second. I'll put his hand on my ass and yell, "You fucking pervert!" Or drop to my knees and say, "Come on, Bobby, I'll give you a blow job!"
"Ha-ha. Conan, you're crazy," he says. But even that stuff wears off. Soon, I'll be making the writers work late to give me new jokes for Bobby.
Playboy: Did you plan to be a talk show host or did you fall into the job? O'Brien: I was an Irish Catholic kid from St. Ignatius parish in Brookline, outside of Boston. And that meant: Don't call attention to yourself. Don't ask for too much when the pie comes around. Don't get a girl pregnant and fuck up your life.
Playboy: Were you an alter boy? O'Brien: I wanted to be an alter boy, but the priest at St. Ignatius said, "No, no. You're good on your feet, kid," and made me a lector. A scripture reader at Mass. He was the one who spotted my talent.
Playboy: What did you think of sex in those days? O'Brien: I was sexually repressed. At 16 I still thought human reproduction was by mitosis.
Playboy: How did you get over your sexual repression? O'Brien: Who says I got over it? My leg has been jiggling this whole time.
Playboy: What were you like in high school? O'Brien: Like a crane galumphing down the hall. A crane with weird hair, bad skin and Clearasil. Big enough for basketball but lousy at it. My older brothers were better. I would compensate by running around the court doing comedy, saying, "Look out, this player has a drug addiction. He's incredibly egotistical."
I was an asshole at home, too. My little brother Justin loved playing cops and robbers, but I kept tying him up with bureaucratic bullshit. When he'd catch me, I'd say, "I get to call my lawyer." Then it was, "OK, Justin, we're at trial and you've been charged with illegal arrest. Fill out these forms in triplicate." Justin was eight; he hated all the lawsuits and countersuits. He just cried.
Playboy: Were you a class clown? O'Brien: Never. I was never someone who walked into a room full of strangers and started telling jokes. You had to get to know me before I could make you laugh. The same thing happened with Late Night. I needed to get the right rhythm with Andy and Max and the audience.
Playboy: So how did you finally learn about sex? O'Brien: My parents gave me a book, but it was useless. At the crucial moment, all it showed was a man and a woman with the bed covers pulled up to their chins. I tried to find out more from friends, but it didn't help. One childhood friend told me it was like parking a car in a garage. I kept worrying about poisonous fumes. What if the fumes build up? Should you shut off the engine?
Playboy: For all your talk about being repressed, you can be rowdy on the air. O'Brien: The show is my escape valve. When I tear off my shirt and gyrate my pelvis like Robert Plant, feigning orgasm into the microphone, that shows how repressed I am -- a guy who wants to push his sex at the lens but can only do it as a joke.
Playboy: Aren't you tempted to live it up? O'Brien: I always imagined that if I were a TV star I would live the way I pictured Johnny Carson living. Carousing, stepping out of a limo wearing a velvet ascot with a model on my arm. Now that I have the TV show, I drive up to Connecticut on the weekends and tool around in my car. I could probably join a free-sex cult, smoke crack between orgies and drive sports cars into swimming pools, and my Catholic guilt would still be there, throbbing like a toothache. Be careful. If something good happens, something bad is on the way.
Playboy: Yet you don't mind licking the supermodels. O'Brien: At one point a few of them lived in my building, women who are so beautiful they almost look weird, like aliens. To me, a woman who has a certain approachable amount of beauty becomes almost funny. It's the same with male supermodels. They look like big puppets. So while I admire their beauty I probably won't be "romantically linked" with a model. I'd catch my reflection in a ballroom mirror and break up laughing.
Playboy: The horny Roy Orbison growl you use on gorgeous guests sounds real enough -- O'Brien: Oh, I've been doing that shit since high school. It just never worked before.
Playboy: Your father is a doctor, your mother an attorney. What do they think of their son the comedian? O'Brien: My dad was the one who told me denial was a virtue. "Denial is how people get through horrible things," he said. He also cut out a newspaper article in which I said I was making money off something for which I should probably be treated. So true, he thought. But when I got an Emmy for helping write Saturday Night Live, my parents put it on the mantel next to the crucifix. Here's Jesus looking over, saying, "Wow, I saved mankind from sin, but I wish I had an Emmy."
Playboy: Ever been in therapy? O'Brien: Yes. I don't trust it. I have told therapists that I don't particularly want to feel good. "Repression and fear, that's my fuel." But the therapists said that I had nothing to worry about. "Don't worry Conan you will always be plenty fucked up."
Playboy: When a female guest comes out, how do you know whether to shake her hand or kiss her? Is that rehearsed O'Brien: No, and it's awkward. If you go to shake her hand and her head starts coming right at you, you have to change strategy fast. I have thought about using the show to make women kiss me, but that would probably creep out the people at home. I decided not to kiss Elton John.
Playboy: Do you get all fired up if Cindy Crawford or Rebecca Romijn does the show? O'Brien: I like making women laugh. Always have, ever since I discovered you can get girls' attention by acting like an ass. That's one of the joys of the show -- I'm working my eyebrows and going grrr and she's laughing, the audience is laughing. It's all a big put-on and I'm thinking. This is great. Here is a beautiful woman who has no choice but to put up with this shit.
But it's not always put on. Sometimes they flirt back. Sometimes there's a bit of chemistry. That happened with Jennifer Connelly of The Rocketeer.
Playboy: One guest, Jill Hennessy, took off her pants for you. Then you removed yours. Even Penn and Teller took off their pants. O'Brien: Something comes over me. It happened with Rebecca Romijn -- I was practically climbing her. Those are the times when Andy and the audience seem to disappear and it's just me and this lovely woman sitting there flirting. I keep expecting a waiter to say, "More wine, Monsieur?"
Playboy: Would you lick the wine bottle? O'Brien: It's true, there's a lot of licking on the show. I have licked guests. I have licked Andy. Comedy professionals will read this and say, "Great work, Conan. Impressive." But I have learned that if you lick a guest, people laugh. If I pick this shoe off the floor, examine it, Hmmm, and then lick it, people laugh. I learned this lesson on The Simpsons, where I was the writer who was forever trying to entertain the other writers. I still try desperately to make our writers laugh, which is probably a sign of sickness since they work for me now. Licking is one of those things that look funny.
Playboy: Johnny Carson never licked Ed McMahon. O'Brien: We are much more physical and more stupid than the old Tonight Show. Even in our offices before the show there's always some writer acting out a scene crashing his head through my door. A behind-the-scenes look at our show might frighten people.
Playboy: One night you showed a doctored photo of Craig T. Nelson having sex with Jerry Van Dyke. Did they complain about it? O'Brien: I haven't heard from them. Of course I'm blessed not to be a part of the celebrity pond. I have a television show in New York, an NBC outpost. I don't run with or even run into many Hollywood people.
Playboy: You also announced that Tori Spelling has a penis. O'Brien: I did not. Polly the Peacock said that.
Playboy: Another character you use to say the outrageous stuff. O'Brien: Polly is not popular with the network.
Playboy: You mock Fabio, too. O'Brien: If he sues me, it'll be the best thing that ever happened. A publicity bonanza: Courtroom sketches of Fabio with his man-boobs quivering, shaking his fist, and me shouting at him across the courtroom. I'm not afraid of Fabio. He knows where to find me. I'm saying it right here for the record: Fabio, let's get it on.
Playboy: Ever have a run-in with an angry celeb? O'Brien: I did a Kelsey Grammar joke a few years ago, something about his interesting lifestyle, then heard through the network that he was upset. He had appeared on my show and expected some support. At this point my intellect says, "Kelsey Grammar is a public figure. I was in the right." Then I saw him in an airport. Kelsey didn't see me at first: I could have kept walking. But there he was, eating a cruller in the airport lounge. I thought I should go over. I said hello and then said, "Kelsey, I'm sorry if I upset you." And he was glad. He looked relieved. He said, "Oh, that's OK." We both felt better.
....See my other post with the last third of the interview

Hi,
Just wanted to share my story. In December, I had sudden onset distorted vision, intense headaches, nausea, pulsatile tinnitus, and vomiting. I went to urgent care, they ordered an MRI that I was able to get the next day, and it demonstrated elevated optic discs and suggested I had elevated intracranial pressure. I got sent to the ER, was admitted to neurology services, got an LP (opening pressure 62), had a lumbar drain for 3 days, had cerebral venous manometry testing, and followed that with stent placement. I was hospitalized for 2 weeks total.
The plavix for the stent caused super heavy periods and I almost bled to death because when I told my gyno about them, she said my hemoglobin from 10 days beforehand was normal and I didn't need to be worried. I thought my extreme weakness and shortness of breath were from the diamox and didn't go back to the ER until I started having a fluttering sensation in my chest. Ended up getting 4 units of blood transfused, which was roughly equivalent to volume I had left. After that, I started medication to stop my period but it only ever reduced it in severity.
The one thing that was drilled into my head was the importance of losing weight. I'd gained maybe 50 lbs during the past year and a half, and was at my heaviest of 300 lbs. I focused on tracking my calories and started working with a personal trainer. I couldn't do much in the beginning but gradually lost some lbs and got stronger (thank you, iron supplements and protein bars). Eventually, I got the point where I could even do barre classes, slowly started incorporation hikes, and found a friend to play pickle ball with.
I was fortunate enough to get a 6 month medical leave of absence from my job as a nurse and have used the time to work on my physical and mental health (started therapy). I just met with my neuro ophthalmologist last week and have no more papilledema, which is incredible because I was at grade 4 when I was diagnosed. We are going to have me come off diamox in a couple weeks and closely monitor with monthly follow ups to see if I'm actually in remission.
I felt compelled to share my story because I know how frustrating and hopeless it can feel to deal with this disease, but hopefully it isn't like that for us forever.

This dilemma is driving me bat-shit crazy so I've decided to ask ya'll for advice. My husband(60) & I(56) own a home and our son(32) lives with us (thanks to the pandemic & the insane cost of rentals in our area of Tennessee). We actually love having our son close as we are a tight knit little family and great at giving each other space and privacy. The problem is this. Our son's gf(26) moved to Tennessee and had a couple roommate situations that didn't work out. I'm not sure why as I stay outta those situations but it's always seemed to be the other person's fault, according to the gf. She is not close to either me or my husband. We've included her in holidays and even paid for her flight to see our son for one of her birthdays (we hosted her as well on that trip, as well as, any of her other visits). She's always maintained an aloof manner with us unless our son is present at which time she will join whatever conversation is happening.
So imagine my suprise when she'd actually say HI to me when she came over and began to act friendly. I thought that she'd finally warmed up and felt comfortable and wanted to form a friendship with me and my husband. She'd invite me along if she was going shopping or ask me if I wanted anything when she'd make her daily coffee run (I said yes once to the coffee and paid for it as I know how expensive it can be) This began in March of this year. I know my son loves her and I was happy at this turn of events (he'd been dating her for over a year).
Well, this April she was generally speaking about how her roommate was crazy and how the roommate wanted her out of the house. She also frequently mentioned how expensive it would be to have a place of her own but that having a roommate was not working out as they seemed to be crazy. The 2nd week of April (I was dealing with sudden onset vertigo & bedridden for 3 days) she came to me and asked if she could move in for "a month or two" so that she could find a place to live & save up some money. I didn't think that it was a great idea but felt sorry for her & said yes. I told her that it would be 2 months max and that we wouldn't charge her rent but that she'd have to pay a quarter of all utilities and the food bill...all too which she readily agreed. I also told her that she'd have to contribute to the running of the house, i.e. dishes, vacuum, basically clean up after herself and help with dinners. It's now the end of May and she's cleaned the bathroom once, has never cleaned a dish or helped (let alone made) a dinner. She's gone back to acting like I don't exist (unless my son is present). And I don't mean that she's stopped inviting me to shop or offered to grab me a coffee (although she has). I mean she will literally come upstairs to the living area in the morning (or mid-day or evening...pick a time) and not say a word to me. I've got that "you've been used feeling" & I've had enough. I don't want to cause friction within their relationship but I need her gone. So, WIBTAH if I tell her that she's got to go? June 15th will be 2 months of her living here and I'm just barely keeping my mouth and temper in check. Any advice is welcome

I’m 25. I’m Male Height is 5’10 And I weigh 185 pounds
I was trying to drop in on a mini ramp and I ended up falling. I didn’t quite remember how I fell all I remember that I had failed to go down properly and suddenly my leg was hurting and I was face down. I don’t think I hit my leg on the way down but I may have twisted it or something. At first, my leg hurt all over, mostly in my knee and middle thigh area. But it felt internal like going between sharp pain and dull ache. I checked my leg and there was no swelling or bruising, I walked around and even my range of motion was really good. Just as good as before but there was obviously something wrong. I ended up going home and rested it off until the next day when I tried to get up and felt the sharp pain. I moved my leg around and I didn’t feel the sharp pain like when when I was getting up. This time though, there was a dull pain, mostly in the innefront part of my thigh kinda middle of my femur. I still had no swelling or bruising. It also felt tight in the knee. It wasn’t severe pain by that point, but I started walking around and the dull pain started to get a little more agitated . I decided to go to urgent care and they did what they would do; moved my leg around and made me do squats and put pressure in certain areas, but all they could say was that I just need to do stretches before Excersize. However I don’t think this is the case because this is a new pain I’ve never had before. I think there is something else wrong. What should I do at this point?

I have recently been experiencing constant pain and tinnitus in my CI ear. Thought it was mastoiditis and cellulitis but docs can’t seem to determine what’s causing the ongoing pain and discomfort. No fevers. Anyone else with their cochlear more than a year still experiencing pain or discomfort or even random ear aches and headaches?

I'm a 26-year-old man, and I recently made a big mistake. On May 16th, around 3 AM, I had unprotected sex with a sex worker (F). She said it was her first time without a condom and assured me she was clean, but I have my doubts.
Later that day, I felt very unwell with body aches but no headache, sore throat, or fever. I thought it's nothing because I walked 30,000 steps in light rain. However, I became very stressed and anxious about possibly having HIV or HSV. I've been experiencing indigestion, and my lower belly felt uncomfortable for a few days. Now, it feels fine, though I never had a fever. Some days I felt better, but then I would feel unwell again.
On May 27th, my uvula felt dry, which worried me, but it hasn't turned into a sore throat, and I don't have pain when swallowing. I've had mild flu-like symptoms without a fever which it goes away after hours, and my penis looks normal (no discharge, no burning, sometimes poke feelings). The only issue is some itching around my anus sometimes, which might be from using a bidet.
Living with the fear of having HIV or HSV has been very tough. I've been obsessively researching symptoms online, and it's driving me crazy. My sleeping schedule is all messed up too. Can I get a full STD test after three weeks? I know it's recommended to wait three months for the most accurate results, but that wait is unbearable. How accurate would a test be if I take it in the third week?
I hope no one experiences what I'm going through. Now I understand how important it is to practice safe sex.

Text I wrote after hearing the question "what if trans people were in a vacuum" See context at bottom of the post
As a transwoman, I feel that if I was in an absolute vacuum, stranded on an island where i'd never seen another human being, never known what is society, never ever thinked, without social need, where I don't even know that there is something else than me or even another "sex" or "gender, a total blank state, I'd feel like I would absolutely live my life normally, seeking to do creative stuff cause all my needs are fulfilled, just living on life.
But I'd feel weird sometimes, feeling an invisible need, a sort of pressure on my chest, something missing. I'd also feel like that the weird organ between my legs, that is only a tool to empty my bladder and nothing else, feels somewhat foreign and I'd wonder why I have that nagging feeling that... it's just wrong ? I genuinely feel that if even no one was around I'd still feel like this. It's something deeper than just the social. Yes, most of the secondary characteristics are for me social. In a vacuum, I'd never have the idea of what are boobs, what's a vagina, how the hair of people with more oestrogen than me looks, how their body hair looks and how their fat, bones and skulls take their shape. I'd have no idea of any of that, I'd just know that I am and that's it. Yet, i'd still feel like my body is wrong somewhere, that something isn't right. A weird feeling of unease, of having something wrong. Sometimes I'd wonder why my penis would feel foreign, why sometimes I feel like my chest is heavier or why my chest feels weird.
But i'd have ultimately no answer, knowing only my testosterone fueled body and what it brings. If I ever saw, in the far ever distance, a body of a human with an oestrogen prevalence, just for the blink of an eye, not enough time to even think about the concept that someone else is alive and looks from my species, far before knowing what even is "social", the concept of bonding, the concept of the "other", I'd immediately understand why I felt this weird in my body for ages. It's just cause my oestrogen level is too low and my testosterone level is too high. ((Not to insinuate that it's what the actual cause of transidentitites, it's still pretty debated if transness has a biological factor. (and frankly I don't give a shit if it's biological or not, just let people do their thing we're social animals and constantly live in social relations) )
But in the vacuum, I'd certainly feel that way. That the nano second after seeing the body of another living being, with an oestrogen prevalence, I'd feel like that's what my body, my being, my entire entity and absolute pure soul of what I am inside of myself, should have been all along and that's why I always felt weird. After realizing that, knowing that there is more than my self, that there could be another form of my being, still without any concept of social relations, I'd know that this form, this form full of oestrogen, is me. It's what's deep, deep deep inside. It's what's inside my body, behind those meaty walls and organs. The soul within the brain. Then, I'd realize than my body, my corporeal form, the muscles and bones shaped by the specific hormonal cocktail that my brain ever did since I spawned in the vacuum, would be wrong, would be the absolute reason why i'd always feel weird in my life.
Since i'm in a vacuum and all my needs are filled, I assume. I could then have some oestrogen instantly in me to flip the hormonal balance, the testosterone dominance would lower and let the oestrogen be more present than testosterone.
Then I'd feel fine and myself, with a grown chest and suddenly with the feeling that when I touch my body, I look at it, I finally feel inside. My soul feels attached to it's body, I finally recognise the meat robot that i'd feel like having piloted for so long before having this question brought to me in the vacuum. I'd finally feel like my corporeal being, the cells in me, would feel right.I wouldn't have any problem with my penis since I still don't know what is a vagina and the tissues kinda rearranges themselves under oestrogen. I'd just know that this organ would feel better. That the weird times where it would fill itself with blood on its own, the times where it would weirdly give me a itch and a need to stroke it till it pukes out that weird liquid thing, would be gone.
I'd only feel that how that organ looks and feel right now is way better. It doesn't rise on its own, it doesn't got that animalistic need to reproduce, it doesn't need to spew out something out every so often due to those animalistic needs. Then, I'd also feel like my body itself would feel strange every month, having stomach aches for a few days and feel like my hormones are doing a bit of whatever. Due to those biological changes maybe i'd feel sadder or angrier or I dunno. Then those feels would dissapear, and come back every month.
Since I don't know anything more about the other form of my species in the vacuum, I won't know that's period symptoms, I wouldn't know what even is a vagina, how it works, that it spills blood each month to get rid of something called uterine lining. I wouldn't know what is an uterus or ovaries or anything about reproduction, not even how my sperm itself work, or what is a penis nor testicles etc. I'd just feel that my body would regulate itself in weird spikes of hormonal stuff each month since my biological form had an oestrogen fueled body. It would feel anoying since I knew what my past biological form had (no period symptoms or absolute variations in hormonal stuff, stable just like haves a testosterone fueled body.) But I'd feel like it would feel right, better than not having those weird feel bad moments each month.
It would feel like I am whole, like what I was since my first second appearing in the vacuum. That my biological body just simply needed an oestrogen dominance instead of a testosterone hormonal dominance to actual feel connected to it. My soul within my brain, my sense of identity, of what I am, the consciousness of what I am due to my ability to perform self actuation, would feel finally connected to the biological body, wouldn't feel that weird distance anymore, that it was a soul piloting a meat body. I would feel like myself and continue living in the bliss of the vacuum, spending my time in infinite time, all my needs met like I ever was and ever did before I have seen that biological dominant oestrogen body for a split second in that vacuum. I would finally be able to truly enjoy my surroundings, do what I want and that I want feel right.
I would feel like my entire being experiences the sensory inputs and feelings generated by the brain in my corporeal body. I wouldn't have the odd need to think about why my corporeal body always felt kinda weird, why I wasn't able to experience everything in my reach, why would I feel like a robot piloting my brain, a soul that is split from the body it controls. I'd understand that my self, all that i've ever experienced before having that question brought to me, is a singular entity. It not the brain and the body, it's both. The brain would have just only felt so distanced from the body, never getting that sense of self trigered by the sight of the meat enveloppe he would see only bits of while moving around sometimes. After that, i'd spend the rest of the eternity in the vacuum in absolute bliss, having finally all my absolute needs met. Since I'm in a vacuum, the concept of time itself would fall, and I'd keep doing whatever I was doing in the vacuum, having absolutely everything satisfied within me. I'd be able to feel nothing, not that weirdness in my body anymore. In the vacuum, i'd become just what the instincts tells the body to do to function and not die. I wouldn't feel like a fondamental need wasn't satisfied anymore.
I'd feel like what I ever was and should be : me
CONTEXT :
Hello folks,
I recently stumbled upon a video where a cis guy would ask : "If a human being was in a vacuum, without the societal needs but every other needs filled, would the human feel the need to transition, would it feel trans, something wrong about its body ?"
Thought it was a very good question and I wrote a text about it. What do you think about the question of the cisdude ? How do you feel about the text ?

Going to attempt to keep this short but I will likely fail, I apologize in advance.
32F: My journey sort of started in January - ended up in the ER twice for what I thought was a heart attack- ran a bunch of tests on that, heart is fine. Had been having really severe heartburn/reflux for a few months leading up to that - my GP literally instantly thought GALLBLADDER and referred me for a GI consult. Not so fast, this isn't where this story ends. Had consult with GI in February for my symptoms at that time- diarrhea, occasional nausea, loss of appetite, stomach pain above bellybutton and left side, occasional blood in stool. Ordered a battery of stool samples, blood tests, and ordered a Colonoscopy & Endoscopy. All stool samples came back negative, blood samples all came back good. (Still can't eat hardly anything though without having severe stomach pain triggered, in a self-imposed strict bland diet). Had scopes in early March; endoscopy showed mild gastritis and healthy colon aside from a single benign polyp. Next they ordered an ultrasound and pancreatic enzyme panel- both were clear. Next they ordered a CT with contrast - also clear and let me tell you the contrast did me about as dirty as the colonoscopy prep! All the while, my pain is becoming near constant and I still am on an obscenely strict bland diet. So far, I've lost over 25lbs since first onset. I actually am now having URQ pain although most of the pain is centralized/spanning across upper abdomen. I can't stand to have any tight clothes on my stomach and am currently typing this while lying down from fatigue and pain. I have my next follow up with the GI on Monday - I'm hoping they will finally order a HIDA scan. I can barely function due to the pain and fatigue. I haven't gone to the ER because the pain usually ends up subsiding in the middle of the night and I don't have a fever. I haven't eaten anything besides grilled chicken with no spices, rice, potatoes, green beans, ensure, gluten free crackers, kinninkinnik cookes, gf oatmeal, and bananas for the past couple of months. Have any of you ever dealt with symptoms and prolonged diagnoses like this? If it's not my gallbladder at this point, I literally don't know what it could be. They tried me on a medication for IBS which did nothing whatsoever and carafate for the gastritis- which did help with gastritis pain but not any of other stomach pain or symptoms. Any shared experience or encouragement would be greatly appreciated - I'm feeling so defeated.

And also the symptoms. For example at first I didn't realise I was getting fevers as I just felt deathly tired. Then one day I had fever symptoms and got a thermometer and checked and sure enough my temperature was up. Over the years the fever symptoms got more and more extreme but still usually mainly include very extreme tiredness. Sore joints is also another main symptom. If you don't think you get them but suffer from tiredness I strongly suggest you start taking your temperature to check just in case. I managed to figure out my symptoms were at their worst when my temperature was up. Over time it became obvious they were fevers and I didn't need the thermometer but I don't know why the actual symptoms were subtle at first.
I am not taking about basal body temperature but I've considered tracking that again given that my daytime temperature changes so much. The temperature can also go down very low just before it jumps up, which is another sign of a fever. When I tracked my BBT, my temperature not long after puberty started did not change much, only what it is supposed to (about 0.4 at most, it then slowly kept creeping higher and got a degree higher every month although I forgot at what point). It would be considered a low grade fever though. It also depends what your normal temperature is, and how much it actually rises. It may be worth checking this. I'm not sure when it started but i'm pretty sure it didn't always happen, but who knows as I never used a thermometer except for this brief period.
Other symptoms include face flushing (suddenly red and hot then goes away when you stop) when angry or laughing (which doesn't happen normally and didn't happen before), sore joints, headache, cold hands and or feet either by itself or with very warm skin. Warm/hot skin. Hot urine. Too hot in bed. Unable to sleep (realised I had a fever later which was keeping me awake), and rosy red cheeks. Extreme fatigue and inability to move. (These are just my fever related symptoms, I have many many more!)
I honestly feel like there may be something to this as far as figuring out what PMDD actually is, the cause of the cure.

I'm all up to date on my vaccines, so was hopeful I'd not get Covid again. The last time I had it I ended up in the hospital for a couple days with pneumonia.
This time I had initial symptoms that I didn't think were anything important. Started with some nausea, then I had what I assumed was an allergy flare. But, after a day of sneezing and runny nose I started getting worse. Last night I had a fever, so I decided it was worth testing. And I'm positive. Ugh.
Symptoms now are fever, body aches, watery eyes, headache, sinus congestion, cough, fatigue and loss of smell and taste. I'm hoping I don't end up with a secondary infection like last time. It's not good.
Hard to know for sure where I contracted it, but we were at a huge concert venue in Seattle on Friday, so that could've been it. I know a lot of people don't test anymore. Not sure why not, but we get the tests free, so I figure I may as well know what I'm sick with. I wish there were free at home tests for flu and RSV as well.

27 female - 5'3 - 175lbs - not a smoker. I got sick over a week ago with presumably covid. Fever, body aches, skin sensitivity, chest pains, laryngitis(still is going on, my larynx is tender to the touch). And a horrible cough that started out dry but has become very productive with copious amounts of thick, green and yellow sputum. Sometimes with streaks of blood if I've been coughing hard enough.
Yesterday I coughed up a couple mouthfuls of a watery substance, no idea what it was. It looked kind of "dirty" for lack of better explanation. The cough is a bit better during the day, nights have been a complete nightmare. I've been laying elevated on a mountain of pillows but it isn't really doing anything at all. Once I settle into bed the coughing starts in and will not stop, I'm usually gasping in between fits. I usually don't fall asleep until daylight and it's only in 1-2 hour stints before I wake up coughing.
As of today I feel like my breathing may be slightly more shallow but I'm honestly not sure if I'm just psyching myself out. I also feel generally more sick again. I'm seeing a ton of conflicting information about how I should treat my symptoms, some say hospital and some say it's normal for covid and to wait it out. I've been doing everything I've been reading, taking cough suppressants/anti-inflammatories, drinking a lot of hot teas, baths/showers, deep breathing.
I don't have health insurance so I've been trying to avoid visiting the hospital, but if I do have pneumonia then I'd rather have it treated then it get worse.
Edit: New fun symptom, I have some weird body/hand tremors going on right now, along with a strange "floaty" feeling when I'm up out of bed. I don't feel cold, no fever. If anything my body temperature is a little low, around 96F compared to my normal 96.8(still on the low end I know)

Hi guys! I got bit by a tick last Wednesday (Upstate SC) and woke up today with a low grade fever, body aches, and chills. The fever went away after a few hours and hasn’t been back all day. I’ve been taking doxycline for about a year for acne, and wondering if I still need to go to a doctor or if the stuff I’m already taking will do the trick? I also spent all weekend in the sun drinking at the beach so originally thought it was just a hangover but my only symptoms in the last 12 hours are aches and chills. Any advice is appreciated, thanks! Also, no visible marks from the bite except for the first few hours there was a small red area but not a bullseye.
Edit: I take 50mg of doxycline hyclate every night

Chapter 4: Medical Bay 1, Priority Alert

The apothecary adept worked swiftly, her hands moving with practiced precision to stop the Emperor's bleeding. She applied a coagulant, the chemical hiss mingling with the rhythmic hum of the ship. Simple stitches closed the most life-threatening wounds, though the task was far from complete. "Right, he's stable, for now," she said, wiping Aurelian’s blood on her trousers. Her eyes flicked to the engineering adepts. "We need to move now, and quickly. I can't treat him properly here. We need to get back to the ship as soon as possible."
Two engineering adepts stepped forward, their faces grim beneath the harsh lights. They carefully hoisted the Emperor up, one arm over each of them. Aurelian, barely conscious, managed to keep his eyes open, his gaze unfocused but determined. "You two!" Cadwalder barked, pointing at the engineering adepts. "Carefully. But with haste." He nodded at the two adepts, who responded with a resolute nod of their own.
"Let's get moving," Cadwalder ordered, his spear pointing the way through the labyrinthine corridors of the Talos. The dark passages were lit only by their torches, casting long, flickering shadows that danced menacingly on the walls. Every noise, every creak and groan, every flicker of their torches had the armed members of the group turning on their heels, scanning the darkness for unseen threats.
"Comms adept," Cadwalder called out, his voice a sharp command.
"Yes, sir," came the reply, the adept already working to patch into the comms-link.
"All search parties. Return to boarding site, repeat, return to boarding site. Priority alert. Return to boarding site. 60 minutes to extraction."
The message echoed through the corridors, a beacon guiding their scattered teams back to safety. Slowly but surely, they made progress, navigating the dark, oppressive environment with cautious urgency. Within 45 minutes, they arrived at the boarding site, a breath of relief mingling with the cold, recycled air. One by one, the groups returned, save for the team Aurelian had sent to the bridge. The pilots fired up the engines of the personnel carriers, their mechanical roar a promise of safety.
"Let's go!" one of them shouted from the open cockpit window.
Within a minute, they had all boarded their ships and departed. The ship deck lay empty and quiet, an eerie silence settling over the abandoned Talos once again.
Back on the Imperator Somnium, the atmosphere was one of tense anticipation. The ship had been hailed on their way back across the 15 k-units of empty space between the two colossal ships, and all preparations had been made. As they carried Aurelian into Medical Bay 1, dozens of apothecary adepts sprang into action, their movements a choreographed frenzy. Suturing and cauterizing, monitoring vitals and administering medications, they worked tirelessly, the air thick with the scent of antiseptic and the quiet murmur of medical jargon.
Cadwalder stood guard at the door, his imposing presence ensuring the apothecaries could work uninterrupted. His eyes were fixed on the med bay corridor that extended before, but his thoughts were with his Liege. The hours dragged on, each one heavier than the last, until finally, Cadwalder could resist no longer. He marched into the medical bay, his heart pounding in his chest.
He was stopped by the apothecary adept who had initially treated Aurelian aboard the Talos. "Does he live?" Cadwalder demanded, trying to see through the throng of medical personnel surrounding the Emperor.
"He does," she replied, her voice steady and reassuring. "Rest assured that he is now, and will remain, stable in our care. His wounds were extensive, but we have done our work and done it well."
Cadwalder nodded, a weight lifting from his shoulders. "Go. Rest. Or continue your vigil at the door if you're so inclined. Be content that you will be the first outside of this room to know when he wakes." the apothecary adept smiled as she spoke.
Reluctantly, Cadwalder left the medical bay, resuming his post at the door. Hours passed, the quiet hum of the medical bay a stark contrast to the tension thrumming through his veins. More and more of the ship's crew gathered in the corridor, their whispered queries about the Emperor’s condition going unanswered, some mustered the courage to ask Cadwalder on the wellbeing of their Emperor, he didn't even look at them. Cadwalder remained silent, a vigilant sentinel, a statuesque guardian between the Emperor and the rest of the known universe.
"Nikaean! Nikaean, get in here!" the apothecary adept’s urgent shout shattered the silence. Cadwalder spun on his heel and entered the room, locking the door behind him.
"Restrain him," she ordered, her voice taut with urgency. "He's seizing. I’ve never seen something this violent."
Cadwalder moved quickly, holding Aurelian by the wrists, attempting to keep him still. Despite his outward appearance, Aurelian seemed to possess an unnatural strength and power, his thrashing form almost impossible to contain.
"Hold him!" she repeated, her voice rising above the chaos.
Suddenly, Aurelian stopped thrashing. He lay still, his eyes wide and staring into Cadwalder’s with an intensity that was almost otherworldly.
"I saw—I saw how it ends. There was a battle. A great battle in the snow. I saw it! The universe will give battle in my name. A war in my name! Billions will die. The stars will cease to shine, the seas will boil and the skies will fall! And all that once was will be lost." His voice dancing between a full-bodied shout and a hoarse whisper, his words trailing off as he slipped back into unconsciousness.
"Well, that's that then," the apothecary adept said, placing the sedative down with a shaky hand. "Leave him with us. We'll monitor his brain activity and notify you when he wakes again."
Cadwalder resumed his vigil, the hours stretching into nearly a full day since Aurelian’s return to the Somnium. More and more of the ship's crew gathered, their concern palpable in the hushed conversations that filled the corridor.
"Nikaean. He's awake," the apothecary adept’s voice broke through the din. Cadwalder entered the medical bay once more, locking the doors behind him.
"You live," he said, a mix of relief and reverence in his voice.
"I do, albeit with a terrible stomach ache," Aurelian tried to smile, but it was more of a grimace. "What happened to us, Archamus Cadwalder?"
Cadwalder dropped to one knee, fist on his chest in a salute. "We were attacked. On board the Talos, we were attacked by some—some thing. Pale-skinned, full of hatred. It impaled you with my spear. It knocked it from my hand before it struck me away from your side. You vanquished it, and I carried you to safety, back to the Somnium. Forgive me, my Liege. I have failed you."
"You saved me, Cadwalder. Without you, I'd be dead, and this great work would be undone. You have failed no one," Aurelian said, mustering what strength he had and bidding Cadwalder rise. "I had initially only ever intended there to be six Seraphim when I founded their brotherhood. Six warriors without equal, six masters of death loyal to me in perpetuity."
"Forgive me, Sire, but I don't understand."
Aurelian paused before trying to shuffle himself upright. "Help me up, Cadwalder."
"My Liege, you must rest, heal."
Aurelian extended his hand, ignoring Cadwalder's protest. Cadwalder grasped his Lord's hand, helping the still shaky Emperor to his feet. "I think there will be seven Seraphim. But for now, help me walk to the door. Let them see that I live and that I am well."
Cadwalder did as commanded, guiding Aurelian to the door but no further. Understanding his Liege's desire to appear strong, he stepped back as the doors slid open with a mechanical hiss. The corridor fell silent, every eye fixed on the Emperor. All stood in awe, some gasped, some began to weep, then Cadwalder stepped behind his Liege.
"All hail, Imperator Aurelian! King of Alexandria Primus and Regnum Solis, Woe of Fold XIX, Defender of the Praetorixa, Bright Sword of the Black Expanse, and Lord and Master of The Great Empire!" Cadwalder’s voice echoed through the corridor, and all dropped to one knee.
Aurelian surveyed the sea of faces before him. "Rise. All of you, rise." He brought Cadwalder to his side. "Without this man, I would not be here with you today. Without this man, I'd have perished alone in the dark aboard that cursed ship." Aurelian clasped Cadwalder’s armoured hand, raising it high. "Behold! Archamus, High Lord of House Cadwalder, Master of the Seraphim and saviour of the Emperor!"
The corridor echoed with the salute, "Hail, Archamus!" Cadwalder looked across the gathered crew, feeling a mix of humility and duty.
Aurelian returned to the medical bay, finally heeding Cadwalder's advice to rest. He lay down with a groan, carefully shifting to find comfort.
"You," Aurelian called, pointing to the tall, slender apothecary adept. "Come here."
She approached, setting down her instruments. "Yes, my Lord. What do you need?"
"Nothing. I need nothing. I know your face, but I can't put a name to it. Why do I know your face?" he asked.
"I stabilized you aboard that ship. Archamus did what he could, but you were still losing blood. I repaired the most damaged parts of the wound before you were brought back to the Somnium for proper treatment... and to heal," she added, raising her eyebrows at him.
Aurelian chuckled softly, wincing at the pain. "What do they call you?"
"Avicenna Ibn Sina, my Lord, assistant to the master Apothecary aboard the Somnium."
Aurelian smiled warmly. "Well met at last, Avicenna Ibn Sina. You are assistant to the master apothecary no longer. You are my personal physician. While in my service, you will wear the black colour of my house. Go, change your clothes as I have commanded. Oh! And you may wish to choose a colour that suits you better for when your services and skills are no longer needed. I name you Avicenna, High Lady of House Sina."
With pride almost overflowing, Avicenna hurriedly made her way back to her quarters to change as commanded by her Lord.