Burning sensation in chest and back

The world has gone mad.
Global pandemic. Civil protests. Riots. Inept leadership. Corruption. Propaganda. World powers shifting uneasily as tensions rise. World War III feels like it’s just one wrong move away.
And I’m trapped here in my crappy little apartment because of quarantine.
Well, not trapped exactly. I could go out and participate in socially distant activities, or join the protests downtown, but I’m too damn depressed to get off the sofa. With everything shut down, I’m currently laid-off temporarily and living on the last of my savings, which consists mostly of ramen and canned veggies. My current hobbies include selling everything I own for rent money, lying on a sofa that was abused by a fraternity back in the 80s, and distracting myself with a crappy smartphone that was outdated when I bought it three years ago. I’ve sold everything else. Television, game console, tablet, computer, and all my games. Material things don’t matter when you don’t have a place to store them.
“I’m not a loser,” I whisper to myself. “I’m not stupid. I’m a hard worker. I’m just stressed and depressed as fuck.”
A century ago I could have just headed out into the wilderness and been a prospector, panning for gold and silver in the hills. I could have hired out as a cowboy, riding the open range and herding the cattle for one of the big ranches. Or been a hired gun. Or a bounty hunter. Considering how desperate I am right now, I would probably fall into a gang of outlaws robbing stage coaches and banks, vanishing across the border to drink and gamble until the money was gone.
Good thing I’m not much of a drinker, I guess.
\Ding**
A text interrupts my idle contemplation of shadows on the ceiling. Lifting my crappy smartphone off my chest, I thumb open the message app. It’s a group text from my boss at iBox Co.
“Hey guys. I know this is a horrible way to deliver the news, but I gotta close the business. Thanks for all the hard work and good luck in the future.”
I drop the phone back onto my chest and it pulses faintly with the beating of my heart.
\Ding**
I check the new text. It’s from my mobile service provider.
“Your automatic bill pay has failed. Please update your account or call the service department.”
Well, duh. No job, no money. No money, no life. Rent due at the end of the week. Supposedly they can’t evict you during quarantine, but they said nothing about the land lord disconnecting the water and power. John down in apartment 2B has been living like a caveman for the last 3 weeks, stubbornly refusing to move out. I wonder if that’s how I’ll end up? Alone in the dark, cooking ramen over a candle.
\Ding**
\Ding**
\Ding**
A quiet rage builds in my gut. Bad news, bad news, bad news. Nothing but bad news and more bad news. Estranged from my divorced parents because I refused to pick sides. Kicked out of college for poor academic performance. Scholarship gone. Girlfriend gone. Job gone. Money gone.
Frustrated at my helplessness, I clench my fist around the phone and fling it behind me.
\Smash**
“Ah shit,” I grumble aloud, instantly regretting my impulsive action and rolling over to survey the damage.
The remains of a fancy framed mirror I had bought for a few bucks at an estate sale hung on the wall, smashed into pieces with my smartphone sticking through it like a ninja star. “How the heck did that happen?” I asked myself, staring in disbelief. I liked that mirror. It was one of the first non-essential purchases I had made after I moved in and I thought it gave the otherwise bare wall some needed character. Now it was shattered into pieces just like everything else in my life.
Crawling off the ratty sofa, I walked over to examine the damage. Pieces of thick glass hung from the frame like jagged teeth, reflecting my too-skinny body in a dozen slivers of reality. My cheap smartphone was embedded in the middle of the mirror and apparently halfway into the wall behind it. Prying away a few shards of glass to survey the damage, a strange pattern was revealed on the wood panel underneath the glass. Wriggling a larger piece loose cost me a nasty slice on my finger and I sucked on it while picking away the remainder of the glass. When everything was clear, my phone was revealed to be smashed through a silvery spiderweb of lines and symbols, apparently merged with the wall like a piece of modern art.
I tried to pull it loose with my good hand, but it was wedged in there tight. Gripping with both hands I tugged and twisted until it was slick with blood from my finger. “What the actual hell?” I said, peering at point where the phone merged with the wood backing of the mirror and the wall. I ran my fingers around the edge of the phone, trying to find where it was stuck and smearing the entire area with bloody fingerprints until it looked like a crime scene.
I gripped it again with both hands and began tugging.
\Ringtone**
My phone began to buzz and vibrate in my hand while the melody of a popular AOP song played. The strange silvery pattern my phone was embedded in lit up like a Christmas tree, glowing with thousands of colours that began chasing each other in time with the music. I instinctively jerked away, but my hands were stuck to the phone.
I couldn’t let go. My fingers were welded to the device! Panicked, I flopped around like a fish on a hook as the bluish light crawled over the phone and up my arms. Some force yanked me into the wall up to my elbows and I started screaming like a little girl with a wasp in her hair.
Then it pulled me completely into the wall.
I disintegrated into a cloud of artificial confetti, falling through synthetic colours and genetically modified sounds. Nothing made sense. The world was a boiling pot of salty madness and I was a shattered jar of elbow macaroni. Eternity passed in a cloud of steam.
“Ah, poor lost thing. What are you doing here?”
A soothing voice laid a foundation for my consciousness and I grabbed at it.
plehhhellephelpeeemeehelpmme
“You are near dissolution. I’ll do my best.”
Invisible fingers pushed and tugged and squeezed and formed the clay of my existence back into me. The last few months of my life flipped by, an embarrassing montage of manga, anime, Red Dead Redemption, and masturbation. Lots of masturbation.
“I’ve done everything I could. I’ll send you through your destination, or close to it. Your kind is not meant to be here without a guardian, remember that.”
Glass shattered into a million fragments as I emerged from that dark realm and tumbled across the ground.
I sucked in a deep breath, choking on soot and the distinct aroma of bird shit.
When the world stopped whirling around me, I opened my eyes. Above me were burnt rafters covered in bird shit and the remains of a roof. Sunlight painted one soot-covered stone wall in the golden hues of a summer afternoon. After a moment, I realised that I felt pretty good. Really good. Like I could run a marathon. Climbing to my feet, I wiped my grimy hands on my shirt. The back was probably a ruin of shit and soot already, so keeping the front clean didn’t make sense.
The room was a ruin. A fire had obviously raged through here some time ago. A wood chair was collapsed in a corner near a fireplace, along with what appeared to be the remains of a table. Shattered bits of glass were scattered all around a large ornate standing mirror frame, the one that I had apparently exited from. A large mound of mushrooms and ferns grew in another corner on what was possibly a bed at one time. Behind me a fire ravaged door hung on blackened timbers.
*System Restart\*
I blinked at the text hanging in the air.

So I think I got a skin condition (Hidradenitis suppurativa) that my mum has , I more than likely have got it because I’ve had lumps show up , her dad had it but my mum and her dad has got a lot of scarring on her face and arm pits like really bad and this might sound bad but I’m so worried about my skin going like my mums , always have been tbh , I’m on Lymecyne antibiotics long term there for acne and stuff it causes lumps like tissue build up or something, in my arm pits, on my bum and I’ve had a few on my face . I’m only 21 years old this effects me so deeply I’m so self conscious about my skin and body , the ones on my face leave a purple/ deep reddish colour scarring still feeling a little lump under the skin , and the scarring on my bottom 😢 the scarring is deep purple and has little holes , my partner actually asked me before are they cigarette burns , so that speaks for itself really 🥲 I’ve read online that turmeric and zinc is good for this skin condition and I would like to know if anybody has tried these and what there input is please . Any advice on the skin condition Hidradenitis suppurativa would be highly appreciated, I am still waiting for dermatology to contact me, my GP referred me a while back . Also if you do feel the same way as i do in regards to skin and body wether you have a skin condition or not. You’re not alone and i will always be a good listener for you if you need . 🩷 Thanks

my department is incredibly close knit and therefore can’t talk about any of this without anybody finding out and none of my friends are involved in academia so i’ve been bottling this up for the past 2 years and it’s gonna be a bit of a rant. apologies in advance.
i’m a 4th year undergraduate getting ready to apply to grad school and i’ve never been so unhappy in my life. due to some circumstances (mental health, first gen student having no idea lol) i’ve made some missteps in my academic career thus far that i regret pretty immensely. a
as such, i find myself doing research in two labs (one of which is such a toxic environment i have nightmares about going in but i’m sort of stuck there due to LOR and other reasons), but not having any internships or significant publications (really any standout factors that i feel would get me in to a top program). i have these big dreams of attending a top PhD program, but i’ve come to realize that my profile is somewhat mediocre. as such, it feels like the entirety of my career rests on a knife’s edge and there’s nothing more for me to do to bolster my application in the next 6 months, so all i can do is sit back and watch. i don’t think i’m going to get in to a top program, and i’m crushed.
i’m overwhelmed by the immensity of bullshit departmental politics and put out by a total lack of engagement from my peers in many of my classes. i watched the really motivated and positive grad student i started studying under slowly fall victim to burnout and become a shell of their former self. i had two really exciting internship opportunities that fell flat at the last minute due to funding. everything feels pointless honestly. i’m beyond burned out. the academic machine has claimed another victim and brother im only in my fourth year
this post is sort of aimless and rambling and idk what i’m searching for in posting it but uhhhh yeah 🧍🏼‍♂️

Im a 32(f) and I’ve been struggling with the relationship I have with my parents for over a decade. My sister (whom I’m extremely close to, roughly the same age) started going to therapy a few years ago and shared that her therapist thought my mom could be a narcissist. I ignored her because during this time she was planning a wedding and I did just kind of felt she was being slightly dramatic. Anyway, my mom had multiple extremely traumatic events in her childhood, which she actually didn’t share with us until a few years ago. The worst is probably that she was a burn victim at a very young age, unfortunately though, she does clearly remember the incident and medical care for this injury was really disgusting in the 1970s. Additionally, this wasn’t something we weren’t aware of, we all saw the scars (covered majority of her torso), our parents just never told us what happened. As far back as I can remember, she has self medicated with alcohol. I wouldn’t necessarily call it alcoholism (because I have a friend in AA) but it was definitely a daily habit, and I hated when she was drunk. The fire happened around Christmas and she blames her parents for being neglectful and causing the fire, so this time of year she is very volatile. I don’t remember a single Christmas she wasn’t hammered and screaming, and this year was no exception. My siblings no longer stay with them over the holidays because of her behavior, and it makes me feel bad they’re alone so I always make an effort to stay with them. This year both my parents passed out while we were watching a movie and at the very end she woke up and started screaming at me because I was on my phone (literally texting my brother) and not watching the movie. My mom gets very upset when she feels people are not paying attention to her and are on their phones, so I’m very careful to not do this while I’m visiting. I exploded because I sat through the entire movie while they were sleeping and still got yelled at, I packed my stuff and left in the middle of the night. I have not spoken to them since because after I left, she called my sister and told her that I WAS DRUNK and blew up on her and that because of this she thought I HAD A DRINKING PROBLEM 😂😭 This crossed the line for me due to her past, but also mine because I was kind of rebellious in my early 20s and made a lot of mistakes, and they still make feel bad for these things even though we’ve had endless conversations about how bad I felt for my poor decisions and my acomplishments since. The majority of my 20’s she didn’t speak to me, and I wasn’t the first family member she cut out. Every sibling that her & my dad have she has cut out for extended periods of time during my life. Currently, she isn’t speaking to her brother and that’s been since before covid but she also cut out her best childhood friend because they disagreed on the COVID shenanigans. This friend was also my sisters godmother, and my mom forced her to uninvite her godmother to the wedding. As a general rule of thumb, everything I say, if she disagrees or remembers it differently, she calls me a liar and tells me to go to confession. She also loves to call me a thief (no clue where that stems from lol) but another Christmas we got in argument during a long car ride and she accused me of stealing her phone charger (generic apple charger), she would not stop screaming at me and pulled over in the middle of nowhere and left me. Thankfully, my phone was charged lmao 🤣 I made the mistake of communicating with my uncle after my mom cut him out, and he even told me that he’d always tried to make up for the way my parents treated me by doing special things that they did for my siblings but excluded me from. He also eluded to the idea that my mom had behavioral issues but it seemed like he felt she just had an anger problem. At the time, I was on good terms with my parents and I brushed off the things he said, but when they found out I was in communication with him I was cut out again for a few months. Looking back, he gave me a car after my parents gave my brother and sister cars and helped me with college knowing they weren’t, and I feel guilty now for not seeing it sooner. I don’t know how to move forward from this because I want to have strong relationships with the rest of my family but I just can’t be around her, she criticizes every word that comes out of my mouth and calls me fat (I’m not overweight lmao) and belittles me to the point I just see red. Help.

This is long so please bear with me
I bought my house in the middle of last year. I was happy with it is the seller disclosure stated plumbing electric, roof, windows AC new and permitted in 2023. My agent guaranteed everything plumbing in the house was PVC and no open permits. I trusted my agent and did not check permits myself :/ and neither did my title company apparently. To make a long story short an old cast iron pipe in the home had a leak caused 65K in damages. Theres several open permits on the home and Ive dumped closed to 25K back into the house. I tried to sue the seller but he is a scumbag and had no insurance and was willing to spend every penny he had to fight me. Ive been working over 200 hours a month to pay for attorney fees and fixes and my mortgage. I dont sleep in the house. I hate coming home and there's another plumbing issue now that I haven't been able to get fixed. I ended up dropping the lawsuit against the seller because I dont have any money to pay my attorney, This house was supposed to be a place of peace and now I am depressed, gained weight, don't take care of myself and clocking in 250 hours a month at work the past couple months to pay for everything. I am trying to sell but no one wants to buy a house with 5 open permits. Also I feel like if I cant sell Ill end up killing myself via burning out from work and life; I've already developed a tachyarrythmia from it (I work nights which doesn't help). I would consider foreclosure but I am young and my mom had to be a cosigner since I didn't have enough years of paychecks even though I make all my payments and mom doesn't contribute a dime to me. I wish she wasn't on the loan although her name being on the loan is probably the only thing keeping me going because i dont want this to become her problem. She doesn't even live in the same city. I've considered making my mom a beneficiary on all my accounts so she can use all my money to make payments until the house sells in case if I die. It feels like the stress of all this is going to kill me. I don't care about capital gains tax I just want out but no one wants to buy this place. Ive fixed all the pipe issues. Anyone have recommendations? Ive considered suing the agent since hes the one who guaranteed the inside was pvc and pushed me to buy the home but again I keep having to dump all my money into the home and dont have enough for an attorney. PS dont recommend the movie Money Pit to me everyone who hears this feels the need to recommend I watch that like no thanks lol too soon. Also this is my first time ever posting i am desperate so I am not including location information and other details since I dont know how much or how little i can disclose in case I pursue legal action against anyone else involved in the sale,

hello, i’m 15 years old and i am wondering if this is good for my skin. my acne isn’t super severe and my dermatologist said it doesn’t look hormonal. she told me to do this: In the morning: use Neutrogina oil free acne wash, cerave moisturizing cream, and then the cerave a.m facial lotion with spf 30. nighttime: wash with 4% panoxyl (finishing up the 10% because i had it before i saw the dermatologist) then use clindamycin phosphate topical lotion 1%, let dry, then 0.025 tretinoin (pea size amount) then use the cerave moisturizing cream again. IMPORTANT INFO, LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK: after i put on the cerave lotion my face has a burning sensation for maybe 5-10 minutes, after my skin is irritated for a while and is normal when i wake up. i’ve been noticing more blackheads on my nose. i looked it up and is this called purging?! is it okay to have the burning sensation? looking for dermatologist advice. i hope this doesn’t get taken down because this is my first post on this subreddit. sorry for writing so much, im worried about my skin! thank you! ps i haven’t had red dots and my skin isn’t dry. it’s actually been more oily and it used to be very dry

I worked for a clothing/merchandise company designing the vast majority of the illustrations on all of their products(shirts, flannels, hats, etc). We never had an agreement or contract transferring my IP ownership, only one written agreement that was a monthly revenue share of 10% off sales, that they have since breached by refusing to pay for 4+ months (and many other irregular payments as well). I made demands for the Nov 2023-March 2024 gap, and the amount paid to me was significantly less than expected. They also refused to provide a sales report as required in our contract, and they have now been ignoring my requests for a sales report for over two months.
Other vendors at the same events that are their peers made upwards of $85,000 per event. My compensation for 4 months of work (Nov 2023 - March 2024) was a clean $900, which is certainly incorrect (the revenue share agreement is that I receive 10% of sales of what I made, my work is about 90% of their catalog!). These events have upwards of 15,000 attendees as well. They also keep spending a lot of money on extravagant setups with expensive equipment (which I have video proof of) so I know they have a lot of money to burn, none of which has reflected on my pay.
At this point, I doubt I will be getting any compensation unless I pursue them legally. Not only have they not paid me what I’m owed, but they are continuing to sell at these events while my art is literally the face of their brand. I think I’d rather pursue a copyright case than a wage one, at the very least doing a cease and desist to force them to stop selling my stuff (forever preferably) and face me legally. In truth I don’t think settling with the multiple months wages they owe me will be enough- as they already have, and will continue to use my work to make new products, and remake the old ones to keep selling indefinitely. Since I backed out of the contract on March 26 2024 due to continued sexual harassment from them, they no longer will owe me royalties past that date as per the contract. However, I’m unsure if my own words could legally be considered the contract being terminated. My contract was extremely flimsy- it doesn’t even have a detailed plan of what happens to the IP rights when one of us backs out. I still retain them, and honestly I think this terrible contract will be my ace in the hole, it gives them virtually no protections.
That is to say, I really could use legal advice on this. They already owe me thousands, probably over 12k-20k, but that number keeps racking up the longer they continue to ignore me. They’re definitely hoping that I just sweep it under the rug. I want to pursue a copyright case rather than a wage theft one preferably, however if a lawyer could handle both that would be quite nice. But if anyone has advice on if this is even a good idea please let me know, I’m at a loss and I’ve been so depressed seeing them make such a huge profit off of my work at these events, of which they go to around 20-40 each year. While I haven't copyrighted any of the artwork itself, as I'm unsure if that matters exactly, I am willing to do that if it means I can potentially get more out of this. However it is a lot of artwork to individually go down and file copyrights for- but also, I am worried about them potentially trying to do that first.
Another detail that might be important, I was never paid or commissioned upfront for the artwork, I always created the artwork at their request with the idea of the royalties paying me in the future. Yes, I know it was stupid, but I was (and still am) young, which they took advantage of- and I refuse to make the same mistakes again.
Another issue I’m running into is that the lawyer has to be based in California(I live in another state), as our contract states it is governed by California law. So far I’ve submitted to 12 firms or so, all of which have denied me except for the ones that want a $400 30 minute initial consultation, which was been extremely discouraging. I do not have a lot of money to spend, a lawyer with hourly rate would simply be impossible to manage. So ideally, I want to set up with a contingency or pro bono lawyer.
If there are any questions I will be happy to answer, thank you so much.

hello, i’m 15 years old and i am wondering if this is good for my skin. my acne isn’t super severe and my dermatologist said it doesn’t look hormonal. she told me to do this: In the morning: use Neutrogina oil free acne wash, cerave moisturizing cream, and then the cerave a.m facial lotion with spf 30. nighttime: wash with 4% panoxyl (finishing up the 10% because i had it before i saw the dermatologist) then use clindamycin phosphate topical lotion 1%, let dry, then 0.025 tretinoin (pea size amount) then use the cerave moisturizing cream again. IMPORTANT INFO, LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK: after i put on the cerave lotion my face has a burning sensation for maybe 5-10 minutes, after my skin is irritated for a while and is normal when i wake up. i’ve been noticing more blackheads on my nose. i looked it up and is this called purging?! is it okay to have the burning sensation? looking for dermatologist advice. i hope this doesn’t get taken down because this is my first post on this subreddit. sorry for writing so much, im worried about my skin! thank you! ps i haven’t had red dots and my skin isn’t dry. it’s actually been more oily and it used to be very dry

Long time Reddit-lurker and first post here, wish it was a more light-hearted subject but here we go.. Been stressing all night over this so I figured I may as well vent a bit and reach out for some support.
Started a new job yesterday and quit today. Was absolutely blindsided by what I was thrown into versus the job description I signed on for - "Pressure washing technician" - And right now, all I can taste is when I exhale is THE BLEACH IN MY LUNGS, but I'll get back to that in a sec:
I was cleaning out gutters on two-story houses in the rain with a bucket and scoop for the past two days without adequate training or gear - least of my concerns right now though and so much was wrong with this business, but I can get into all that in the comments later if necessary...
Yesterday, my now former boss brought me to a roof cleaning gig and shit got shady - that's when he took out his own full face respirator and a pesticide canister. He instructed me to follow him from the ground and to spray "ionized" water upwards to prevent this stuff from possibly killing the clients plants - or even etching their windows if it sat too long... Did I mention he didn't give me a mask or warn me about pesticides? Well yeah I could taste that sweet chemically shit thick in the air and my lungs and eyes got pretty irritated.
I asked if I needed a respirator also, and he said “only when you spray it up close” - total disregard for gravity, I guess. I wanted to leave on the spot right there, but this client was in South Burlington and my car was parked in HIS driveway over in Underhill. I probably sacrificed some health just to avoid an awkward car ride back - couldn't avoid that today though...
Today we had a house washing gig in which he basically just had me shadow his process. Halfway through and I realize that the shit he's spraying is burning my hands, burning my eyes and mouth and bleaching my clothes,so I ask why and he smugly says "Because it's bleach." Again, no proper protection or warning, literally just gave me shop glasses that didn't even conceal my eyes and I had to ask.
I know that bleach is commonly diluted with water and detergent for house cleaning, but the ratio of his solution was definitely way off. After bringing up my concern he started going off about how great Sodium Hypochlorite is for saving people during COVID, that the inventor deserves a Nobel Peace Prize and that the literal bleach I was covered in couldn’t have been worse than my tap water at home…
So yeah after that I realized I needed to GTFO and helped him with one more house before I tapped out with an excuse for the sake of not having to explain hazardous chemicals to a fully grown adult. Ride back wasn't too bad, but I didn't want to get into why I really decided to jump ship so soon since he either didn't care or was oblivious.
Finally get home, all I can taste is bleach, can't think straight, skin breaking out and harder than normal to breathe. I was mainly mad at myself for not backing out the first day, that was until this guy's wife/co-owner gives me the most condescending follow-up call ever to ask me why I left, so I told her the truth of my concerns. Told me I was covered in bleach & pesticides because of a lack of "common sense" and that this was going to look bad for me moving forward, and that they didn't have to disclose harmful materials in an SDS or anything.
That's exactly when I realized that the sweet family business I thought I was trying my best for are actually a coniving, corner-cutting couple who have zero fucks to give about anyone but themselves. They were ready to snap like clams from respectfully addressed concerns and tried to dismiss me in the most faux-professional/passive aggressive manner possible.
I'm pissed off, stressed as hell and nervous about my health (fucked up skin, eyes, breathing etc) and now tomorrow I have to submit a lease for my next apartment with much less financial security than I was anticipating for now.
So yeah, I don't know what to do or who to talk to that will be worth my time. I feel violated and discouraged, but mostly disgusted. This business has overwhelmingly positive reviews and I went into it with high hopes only to have my spirits crushed.
Unfortunately, this couple's M.O is to conduct an unethical practice while hiding their asses behind a scarecrow of legalese and just outright bizarre gaslighting techniques for both unsatisfied customers and employees alike.
Anyways, thanks for those who made it all the way through this book of mine. I'm open to any advice that will put my mind at ease for now and willing to answer any questions at all. Everything I've described here has been documented in proper format to submit to the right entity.
Btw the company in question is Mansfield Services, in Underhill.

hello, i’m 15 years old and i am wondering if this is good for my skin. my acne isn’t super severe and my dermatologist said it doesn’t look hormonal. she told me to do this: In the morning: use Neutrogina oil free acne wash, cerave moisturizing cream, and then the cerave a.m facial lotion with spf 30. nighttime: wash with 4% panoxyl (finishing up the 10% because i had it before i saw the dermatologist) then use clindamycin phosphate topical lotion 1%, let dry, then 0.025 tretinoin (pea size amount) then use the cerave moisturizing cream again. IMPORTANT INFO, LOOKING FOR FEEDBACK: after i put on the cerave lotion my face has a burning sensation for maybe 5-10 minutes, after my skin is irritated for a while and is normal when i wake up. i’ve been noticing more blackheads on my nose. i looked it up and is this called purging?! is it okay to have the burning sensation? looking for dermatologist advice. i hope this doesn’t get taken down because this is my first post on this subreddit. sorry for writing so much, im worried about my skin! thank you

9 Lake She has nothing to actually do Her only interaction with the current contestants is Aiden. The character that we'll die before we see him interact with someone thats not Tom or saying "that wasnt very nice *insert villain here* you should be ashamed." So yeah I highly doubt Lake is the rejoiner
8 Miriam She could be used as a wingman for Jake to get back with Tom buuuuut ASHLEY COULDVE DONE THAT So yeah no she isnt rejoining
7 Ashley Same thing as Miriam
6 Fiore If the only reason for Fiore to get back is to make up with Alec Fiore doesnt have a raeson to make up They can talk in the motel episode OR the finale Hell they could even make things up in the rejoin if the eliminated contestants interact with eliminated ones She also already got 2nd and all her villany is clearly gone this season, just like her chance of rejoining
5 James The only argument I could see is that he got out first Which is a shit argument
4 Tess I dont think they would be getting rid of two support characters back to back if they didnt want them gone at this point So yeah Tess chance to win is minimal
Now we get to characters who in my opinion do actually have a chance
3 Connor Looking at things I dont think they want Connor and Riya to make up which takes away his best reason for rejoining His friendship with Alec is a good reason but than he could just join the villain side and we have a 6-4 giving "heroes" no chance at the elimination He also doesnt care at all about the game as he is already rich I really only put him in the have a chance tier because if I didnt yall would burn me alive
2 Ellie Solid chance for a redemption arc that only makes sense if they do it in game (For the love of something please dont do it offscreen) She doesnt get first place because I think who I put there just has more reasons to rejoin
1 Hunter He has to fix his thing with Ally which on its own isnt good enough of a reason BUT He can fit in the role that Ashley had by making the heroes work together Hunter has ties with Ally Jake and Aiden so I see it happening
So yeah in the end I really only think Hunter Ellie and *Connor have a chance goodnight

Summary During a eventfull evening with the Glenwood pack. Seer is chased by their mate Beth as pay back for them leaving her on the ladder alone. When things go wrong but may have a positive outcome Notes My first story so I'm not very good at this. I wrote this on Google docs. It's a fan fic/AU See the end of the work for more notes
Seer turns into a shifter
TW: Blood Violence I imagine myself as Seer in this story. Seer stands near the front door to the den during Thanks giving when they suddenly hear. Beth: "where is my mate" Seer dashes out the door and runs into the woods with wolf Beth right behind them. While in the trees Beth catches up and jumps on Seers back pinning them to the ground. She pushes her paws into Seers body nut since she's upset she uses too much of her strength and blood begins to gush out of their wound. Horrified Beth jumps off before frantically turning back. She begins to Shreak Beth: Claire Claire. Claire stands in her living room with Knight and Genieve thinking that its best to let Seer and Beth sort of their conflict. Geneve hears Beth screaming and smells Seers blood. She uses her Valp abilities to speed into the woods with Calire and Knight following. They run right into the woods and see Seer lying on the ground with Beth kneeling next to them her tears soaking the soil. Claire kneels down and examines Seers wound while Knight and Evie try to comfort Beth as she falls I to their arms. Knight: what happened. Beth tries to explain but her sobs get in the way. Evie: don't worry Beth Claire can heal them she's a mighty blood mage. It's going to be OK. Claire: they've lost a lot of blood she says hardly keeping her voice steady. Even if I heal them it might be too late. Evie: what if we give them a blood transfusion that would work. Knight: but then they'd be a shifter too like us. Claire: it should be their choice but it's not like we can ask. We can't use my blood I'll need my strength to make sure their body accepts the new blood Knight: use mine I can take it. I'm strong enough. And they'd do it for me. Beth shakes her head Use mine I'm the reason there in this mess and they're my mate. Claire agrees and she uses her magic to transfer some of Beth's blood into Seer Beth: OH God I hope this works. She sobs. W we c c can't lose anyone else she cries harder thinking about that night and all the blood that was spilled. Evie gently picks up Seer and carries them up stairs into one of the spare rooms and places them in a soft bed. Seer lies there fast asleep with Beth right next to them staring at them thinking replaying the accident over and over again. "All this because they didn't hold a ladder. And off corse they're going to blame themselves for this" Claire: it's not your fault Beth or theirs sometimes things happen that we can't control. All of a sudden there's the sound of loud footsteps charging up the stairs and Simon barges into the room. Simon: Knight told me what happened. Claire are they going to be ok. What can I do? Claire: they should be fine we've given them a blood transfusion so their going to be a shifter now. Can you go get some food and water for Beth she's going to need it after the blood she's lost. Simon nods and walks away down the stairs. And returns with food. Beth tries to eat but it's like chewing carpet. She continues to stare at Seers wound and their face. Along with Simeon. He feels fatherly love for Seer thinking back to the time he welcomed them into their pack and how he hugged them so tight he thought he had broken Seers rib. Simeon: people always look so young when they sleep. All the stress melts away. Especially for them since their visons make them worried alot. He Says Beth nods. Theyll shift before they wake up since their body is still getting used to its new blood you'll have to calm them down and explain honey. Claire finishes healing Seers wound and yawns. "I need to go to bed ill need my strength back incase anything goes wrong when Seer wakes up in the morning." Claire hugs Beth before walking out of the room with Simeon following The next day Seers body shifts into their wolf form and they begin the stir and suddenly wake and begin to thrash around and yelp with pain. Beth quickly moves foreword and pushes Seer back down onto the bed Beth: "ssssshhhhh beautiful it's OK it's OK. I'm here I'm here.” Seer starts to calm down and make snarling sounds of confusion. While trying to take deep breaths. They start to roll over and fall out of the bed onto the floor. Beth rubs their hand and pulls Seers head onto her lap. "Beautiful it's OK. You're not dreaming you're a shifter like me now. After last night we had to give you some of my blood since you lost too much. So now you're like me. You'll always be a shifter but don't worry you'll be able to turn onto your human form. After while. I'll reach you how once you get some of your strength back." Seer begins to look around the room. Beth knows Seer well enough that she knows they're looking for the others even through they can't talk as a wolf Beth: "the Claire Simeon Knight and Evie are here but they're keeping their distance since having too many people around might be overwhelming for you. " I I'm so sorry beautiful so so sorry" she begins to tear up again and Seer whimpers and rubs their head against her trying to calm her down and tell her it's not her fault. Beth takes a deep breath. And starts to calm herself. You know Isla is going to be jealous that you shifted before her. Says Simon walking onto the room and bending down to rub Seers muzzle. Beth: Simeon you're not supposed to be in here yet. You'll overwhelm them. Simeon: oh relax they're fine right he says looking at Swer who nods weakly and tries to smile despite having sharper teeth. Beth: that's right beautiful try to rest. Now. In a couple of days we'll gather the whole pack and go for a run. It'll be amazing gliding through the woods. I still remember the first time I ran as a wolf I felt so free and powerful. Seer and Beth both climb back into the bed together and fall onto a deep sleep holding eachother in a loving embrace.
The morning after
Chapter Summary Seer wakes up the morning after Thanksgiving and has to get used to their new form and abilities
Seers eyes flutter open. There still in their wolf form and look over and see human Beth snuggled up next to them. Feeling her warmth. They feel excited to know what's it's like for Beth when she shifts to comfort them in the night when their visons make their anxiety flaire up. Seer lifts up their head and sniffs the air through their nose. And they feel completely overwhelmed by the seats that are in the room from their own smell to Beth's to the cotton sheets and blanket and traces of Claire and Simeon. Their sudden movements wake up Beth who groans sleepily still tired from her sleepless night watching Seer. She gently reaches up and strokes Seers muzzle. Beth: “I know it's overwhelming but you'll get used to it with time. Try to breathe slowly” Seer sticks our their tounge between their teeth like a puppy dog and makes a big show of panting slowly. Beth is torn between being annoyed with her mates sarcasm and being glad they're in a good enough mode to be a smartass. She giggles. As they stare at eachother with the loving gaze they always use when they share a moment. Seer always knew that they would face any challenge for Beth regardless of its their visons or being a shifter. It is always worth it. Not that Seer minds being a shifter they're over the moon about it. And they think about all the things that they'll be able to do with their pack. Their family. Claire walks into the room then. She smiles seeing Beth and Seer together. Somethings never change she thinks to herself. Claire: “Glad to see you're well rested. Through now it's the middle of the night. The rest of the packs here. Through they're outside near the bonfire. They want to see you. You up for it? Beth looks over at Seer who nods excitedly before gently jumping off the bed careful not to scratch Beth with their claws or land on Claire. They stretch their muscles and shake their fur like a wet dog. Beth: “don't worry beautiful I'll brush you later. Before I teach you to change back. Seer wags their tail at Beth before they start to slowly walk out of the room still Abita unsure since their on four legs. They start to walk through the rooms door way. It's a tight squeeze. Beth: “suck it in Beatiful.” And giggles. Seer gets through the door and turns around tencing up their muscles to show off. Before they keep walking down the hallway. On the way to the stairs they walk past a mirror. They stop and walk back to stare at their reflection. They strike a pose. Thinking “oooooo hello” and they wink at their own image. Claire: “Come on Seer before I have Simeon Knight and Evie carry you down the stairs like a disobedient puppy.” Seer walks down the stairs carefully not wants to do wolf matrix move outtakes on the way down. They reach the bottom of the stairs and put their paws on the front door like a dog needing to go outside. Claire walks up and opens the door. Knowing the wind must have blown it shut. Seer walks to the front of the den with Beth at their side and Claire not far behind. They each feel the chilly air Travel up their bodied. The pack is waiting for them excitedly around the bonfire keeping warm. Simon stands up and walks over to Seer as they approach the fire rejoicing in the warmth it provides. Simon places a plate infront of Seer. Simon: “your first meal as a wolf my child.” Seer loves the taste especially now that their senses are stronger and they wolf it down while Simon pets them like a house pet. The rest of the pack continues to stare at Seer in awe of their new form. Isla runs up to Seer and hugs them. They bend down and hug them back as she seems to sink into Seers fur. The wind picks up blowing more of Isla scent into Seers nose and again they are overwhelmed by it along with the scents of the rest of the pack and the forest. Seer shakes their head to try and clear. Isla: Ooops sorry Seer I forgot it can be overwhelming. It'll be thr same for me when I first shift. Seer yelps excited to Isla and steps forward before giving her a huge lick across her face. Like a house dog. “Ewww” says Isla as Allen and Hazel laugh along with the rest of the pack. Tristan: “You should have seen that coming kid” he says before giggling. Isla: “has Ranger stuck a dog collar on you lately Triscuit” Beth: “Yeah Triscuit Kakis told me you need to stop getting caught out in the woods” Claire: “Speaking of the woods who wants to go for a run with me Seer and Beth tonight?” Hazel and Allen refuse since they want to stay with Isla since she needs to sleep. Ro and Tristan want to stay behind since they want to start working on some overalls for Seer. Simeon: I'll go. I want to be with my child on this special occasion. Claire: alright let's go change into our overalls. Me and Simon will go first. Beth: I'll stay with you beautiful until the others get back. You shouldn't be alone right now this is still alot for you. When Claire and Simeon get back I'll go get changed” Simeon and Claire walk away. Leaving Beth and Seer alone in the forest. Beth: you're doing so well beautiful. I'm so proud of you. And despite what happened I'm glad I can share such a big part of my life with you. I'm also glad that the others are happy as well. Through they already adored you. Seer wags their tail. And thinks “It's not just me who did well its also Claire she healed me and you for being so strong through everything you been through both before and now. You're so strong love plus you're hot headed and stubborn which also helps. Claire and Simeon walk back outside and Beth strokes Seer one more time before walking towards the den to change into her overalls.
Seers first run
Chapter Summary As a right of passage of being a shifter Seer now gets to run through the woods of the pack territory with their mate
After Claire Beth and Simeon shift into their wolf forms. Beth steps forward towards Seer and rubs her muzzle against them. Seer feels the warmth of her body and hot breath against their face as well as love. Despite them still not used to being in their wolf form it feels oddly right. Like now they belong Suddenly Seer hears a soft voice in their head. Which for a normal person would feel unusual but to them they feel oddly used to it since they hear voices when they have their visons. Beth: “Beautiful can you hear me? Seer nods their head looking at Beth. Remember that she once mentioned that shifters can speak to each other telepathy when they're in their wolf forms. Beth: “You can talk to me as well like this. But only when you direct your through towards me” Seer: “What about Claire and Simeon? She they alright?” Beth: “yeah their fine. They're just keeping quiet since they don't want to overwhelm you. Start moving forward when you're ready. You don't need to rush we're going at your pace. And we'll be right here with you. Now try and concentrate on your senses what you hear and smell.” Seer raises their head and takes a deep breath of the chilly night air. They are amazed at all the things they smell. From the animals hiding away in the night along with the smells of soil and decaying plants. They perk up their ears and the wilderness comes alive with sound. Like a musical of nature. They hear the steps of animals dashing along the ground to the rustle of leaves blowing in the cold wind to the sounds of night insects chirping away. Seer is amazing by all these new experiences and is awed at how much they missed back when they were only a human with their dull senses. Beth: “Amazing isn't it? So much order and chaos all mixed together in a wonderful display of nature and beauty. Just like you” Seer feels energy and power surging through their muscles and they take off running into the wilderness with Beth right next to them and Claire and Simeon behind them. The forest feels dense but it seems to part ways allowing them through like it's molding itself into a passage just for them. Seer feels amazing as they rush through trees still hearing the beauty of their surroundings and basking in the smell and sights that dance in their mind. Seer feels a new feeling. They feel free. They've let go of all the stresses of being human. From the endless work days to the mundane chooses that always demand attention. The wind rushes over their body as they move making them feel apart of the incredible environment around them. It feels like heaven as they continue to rush into the night.
Playtime as a wolf
Chapter Summary Seer plays in the woods with their pack mates
Trigger warning: Violence (not sure if wrestling counts but it's worth mentioning) The wolves comtinue runbingbthrough the forest the moonlight shimmering through the trees. Suddenly they arrive in a wide clearing. As if nature had opened itself up so that they could stand in the open. They stare up at the star filled sky the moonlight glistening in their wide eyes as they bask in the beauty of the universe. Seer: “Amazing isn't it. They say In awe still staring up transfixed. Beth: “Yes it is. But it still has nothing on you beautiful” she says softly and warmly stating at her make as the moonlight glistens off there Grey fur. Seer turns back to Beth and they look into eachothers eyes with the same wonder and love that they did on the night that Beth confessed her love and Seer returned her passion. Claire and Simeon walk up to the two love birds in furcoats. And stretch their bodies still filler with energy from their run. Claire: you want to wrestle Beth? Since we didn't get a change too earlier at thanks giving. She says excitedly eying up her pack mate. Beth: maybe another time. I don't feel up to. Suddenly she jumps at Claire catching her off guard and they begin to roll along the dirt covered ground Beth taking a early advantage. Simeon walks up to Seer slowly and calmly. Amusement in his eyes as he watches his girls battle it out. Seer: it feels different watching now. Like I'm apart of the action that makes sense. Simeon: Yeah. It's pretty fun. Plus it sometimes gives us a change to practice healing magic. He chuckles happily. You and I can go if you feel comfortable. Through it wouldn't be a fair fight since I'm bigger than you.” Seer: Even so I could still take you they say confidently. Alright on the count of three They square up in front of each other and Seer count one, two then they take a tip from Beth and jump on Simeon and they both begin to rustle together laughing the whole time. But it ends with Simeon on top of Seer his bigger form giving him a edge. Seer: Beth Claire help our dad is too heavy for me they say in a joking pleading voice. Claire and Beth both suddenly stop and fake glare at Simeon. Simeon: “ooooo scary” they say in a fake scared voice that trembles mockingly Claire: “How about you pick on someone your own size Simeon” she says confidently drawing herself up to full height and mockingly growling along with Beth. Simeon: “I'm still bigger than you” he says matter of factly stating the obvious. Beth: “Maybe but can you take all 3 of us?” Seer gets to their feet and quickly runs up next to Beth ready for round 2 with their dad. Simeon: “you'll have to catch me first he says sticking out his tounge and dashing out of the clearing with his 3 children in hot pursuit.
After run brushing
Chapter Summary Being in the woods has lead to Seer being covered in dirt and debris so Beth decides to give Seer a nice brushing session like they did after Beth's hunting trips
Simeon dashes out of the tree line and towards the den. With Seer, Claire and Beth on his tail. He dashes towards the den and up the wooden steps and through the front door. He shifts back into his human form his overalls overnight his muscular body. and smiles smugly at the wolves as they come in. Simeon: “I won sweeties” and laughs before wiping the sweat off his forehead. Genieve: “wow looks like you lot had some fun. Maybe next time me and Knight can come too.” Claire and Beth stop easily and they also shift back. But Seer being inexperienced in their new form their overalls also shifting back and covering their body. Beths design working well. Slides along the shinny wooden floor and smacks into the wall across the room. Beth: “Beautiful you alright” Seer nods happily and shakes their head to clear it. They're tail is wagging like crazy smacking onto the side of their body and they pant with their tounge hanging out. Claire: “looks like someone needs some help calming down. Luckily their is a way we can help you with that. Isn't there Beth?” she says looking at Swer and putting their head gently. Beth: “that's right. Now it's my turn to pamper you beautiful. Now I'm going to go get my brush then you can experience the pleasure of being groomed.” She says happily before walking away up the stairs them creaking as she climbs Simeon also walks away to take a shower and change out of his overalls. As he waks past Seer he gives them a large stroke on their back. “I'll never forget this night. You won't either. It was amazing my child. I love you” he continues walking. Claire keeps staring at Seer before the sound of footsteps from the next room pulls her gaze away as Ranger steps into the room. Dressed in comfy evening wear along with their signature Ranger hat. Seer notices that when Claire sees Ranger her grin widens. And they feel even happier for her. And make a note to tell Beth and Simeon about it later. Claire: “Hey there hotshot. I'm guessing Knight and Evie told you about recent events” she says in a warm voice a little louder than normal since she feels excited about the nights run. Ranger smiles back at Ranger. “Evie said that next time we should all go together.” he says excitedly loving the idea Claire: “how would you keep up with us?” Ranger: “easy I'd borrow your bike.” They laugh. Seer continues watching and listening they feel so happy that their relationship seems to be going strong. After all Claire deserves it and so does Ranger. Beth walks down the stairs carrying her fur brush having kept her overalls on since she's probably going to be covered in wolf hair from Seers brushing. Beth sits on the floor next to her mate. And pats her lap inviting Seer to lie their head their. “Beautiful this is going to feel lovely after all I enjoy it when you do it for me” She begins sliding the brush gently along Seers fur making a warm sound as it flides along. Seers eyes flutter as their skin is messaged by Beth's warm hands and brush. Lose hair begins coming free of Seers form. And sticking to the brush. Ranger steps forward wanting to help Beth clean the brush. But they also want to study how Beth brushes Seer taking mental notes for when they will do it for Claire. Ranger also reaches up and starts to scratch Seer behind their ears. Making a scratching sound and causing Seer to whine like a puppy. Beth “see beautiful feels lovely doesn't it. Plus now you're the puppy not me she teases.” Seer pays attention to what Beth says since she is always their first priority regardless of the situation. But they decide to ignore the teasing aspect wanting to instead to let them all enjoy the moment and the warm feelings it gives them.
Seer speaks with the vampire Celiene
Chapter Summary Having some self doubt Seer decides to visit an old friend of the pack. Celiene since her age gives her alot of wisdom
On a dark cloudless night Seer runs through the woods alone as a wolf their powerful hearing the sounds of owls and night insects. When they finally reached the edge of the woods they slide to a stop. Since he feels nervous about what they are about to do his ears perk up subconsciously listening for any sounds of danger despite knowing that there wouldn't be any and even if there was the vampire court would rush to his aid should it be needed. Seer starts to think over what they are going to say for the hundredth time that night. While they look over the Manor house warm light shining through it's windows the blackout curtains being opened after sun set. Seer knew that the curtains extended towards the ground leaving no chance of sunlight getting through. Seer shakes their head to clear it. And to pull themselves back to reality. They tended to space out alot even without their visons they change into their form. And their overalls slide onto their body. Before walking towards the manors front door. They stare at the door its polished wood glistening in the moon and star light. Seer thinks about if they shoud know or just walk in. Celiene knows they're visiting having requested a invite awhile ago plus celiene knows they're there since she can hear them. Seer opens the door quietly and walks in the door doesn't make a sound since it's so well made and maintained. Seer enters the living room. The walls are painted dark colors and a fire crackles all to make the room feel cozy and warm to make the courts visitors feel ease. “Hello my dear Oracle.” a warm comforting voice says from the top of a set of stairs. There stands the vampire Queen Celiene dressed in a lose comfortable shirt and worn jeans. Still looking lovely as she calmly walks down the stairs looking like a beautiful godess. At the bottom of the stairs Celiene gives Seer a gentle hug. “you look well my dear. But where is Bethany?” Asks Celiene “She's at the Den sleeping. She offered to come but I wanted to be alone tonight. Besides she needs to rest since she's been super busy with her seamstress work and hunting with the pack. She deserves a night off” Celiene gestures to some furniture and they walk together and sit down. On a pair of leather seats near a coffee table “can I offer you a drink? Coffee? tea? Water?” Seer just shakes their head wanting to get to the reason they visiting. “Celiene do you miss being human or want to be human again?” Asks Seer leaning foreward. Celiene thinks about it. She leans back in her chair and pondered the question. “Well my dear. I don't remember my human life so I can't miss what I don't know. As for being human…. It has both upsides and downsides just like being a vampire. I have all the time in the world to read and study whatever I want plus i have my court. But I do sometimes wish I could go for a walk in the sunlight and I do miss all the people I've lost over my lifetime. Why do you ask?” Seer considers what she said. Noting that she does have good points “well you didn't choose to be turned into a vampire and their is no way back for you. It seems unfair” Celiene nods “my dear Oracle life is unfair for everyone. You need to make the most of your life and the choices you make” Seer nods and sits back again. “I didn't choose to be a shifter but if I could I would have. But….. I keep wondering if I'm still human. It feels wonderful when I'm a wolf it feels right. Like I'm free. Maybe I'm losing my old self” Seer looks down solemnly “Celiene leans foreward and puts her hands on Seers shoulder. “in wolf or human form you're still you. Just I'm still me even if I was turned. I believe that it feels better for you as a wolf because it allows you to let go” Seer looks at her confused Celiene explains “when your in your wolf form you don't have to act human and and can wrestle and play without having to worry about people judging you since you're a wolf.” Seer thinks about Cewolfs's words and smiles nodding “I imagine me being a wolf makes me feel like I belong with my pack” says Seer their eyes softening as they think about happy memories with Beth and the others “Bethany loved you before you became a shifter along with the rest of the pack” says Celiene. “they are the best thing that ever happened to me. And so are you” says Seer. “Thank you Celiene. I'm finally at peace” “Why didn't you speak to Bethany about all this?” Asks Celine giving them a curious look. “I thought about it….. But she still feels bad about hurting me. No matter how many times I tell her that it isn't her fault. I don't want to make her feel worse. She's done so much for me” “And you've done alot for her and her pack.” Says Celiene cutting in “Claire told me about the warning you gave Bethany about the poacher traps. And about the fire at the ranger station. You've brought safety and love to you're pack” Seer brushes her off but concedes she once again has a point. Seer and Celiene relax again and talk together until Seer falls asleep. Celiene thinks about calling Beth but she chooses to let her rest.
Troubling vison and a cozy bed
Chapter Summary During the night Seer has a vison while they sleep with Beth but they decide not to give her ang details about it since they don't want to worry her more
Beth and Seer stand on the dens balcony together its the very early morning Seer having been woken up by a nightmare. Through they aren't sure yet if it's a vison or if it was a regular nightmare. Beth is concerned but Seer puts on a brave face determined to not let Beth get more worried. Seer shivers in the cold while they take a deep breath hoping the chilled air of the wilderness will help them relax. “Love you can go back to sleep if you want too.” Says Seer turning to stare into Beth's beautiful eyes. But Beth shakes her head “they might be your visons but we're in this together now and forever” she says before pulling Seer closer to her. Eventually faitage gets the better of them and they walk together back inside being quiet not to wake up the others while they sneak back upstairs to the room Claire has lent them after she insisted Seer stay near her while they get used to being a shifter and Beth having refused to leave her mates side. They climb into their bed and relax on the thick matress with their warm blankets feeling cozy. “Honey will you shift for me?” Seer asks remembering back when they were ill and she let them cuddle with her wolf form to help them rest and get better. Beth nods quietly and she turns into her wolf form. Her fur is even thicker now due to the winter. Beth looks af Seer and they cant tell shes amsing if they're going to shift aswell since they know their mate well enough that they can tell what shes thinking. “I'd perfer to stay human since we don't want to break the bed” they say thinking about the time Knight and Evie did it. Secretly Seer also stays human since they don't want to risk accidently telling Beth what their vison was about since if they're both wolves they can communicate through their minds and Seer isn't used to censoring their thoughts. The love wolves snuggle up to each other and Seer puts their head against Beth's furry chest while Beth wraps her paws around Seer. They both drift off to sleep. Seer feeling warm and cozy but still troubled about what they saw.
Seer goes feral
Chapter Summary Seer starts to let their emotions go to Claire about their visons and being a Oracle
Seer wakes up in their bed still lying next to Beth, their mate still sleeps peacefully beside them. Seer quietly slips out off bed and walks out if the room. They walk down the stairs and met Claire who just came back from her early morning run. “You alright Seer? You look exhausted” Seer looks at her. “I I don't know” Claire gestures towards the couch in the dens living room and they sit down together facing each other “when you're ready” says Claire. Seer nods takes a deep breath and begins “Sometimes I hate having visons. Especially of bad things happening its only a possibility but that's the problem. I'm never sure about what to do about it. if I should say something or not. Since trying to avoid something might cause it to happen. But if I say nothing then you're not ready. I keep going in circles. Plus I'm an oracle so I could be seeing things that aren't real or could be the past or present which means that its already too late to do anything. Seer shudders and Claire keeps looking at Seer with concern not wanting to interrupt I told you about the fire at the ranger station and all that did was result in Ranger getting hurt. But if I didn't tell you it could have been worse. Seer starts to cry “Seer you're not being fair to yourself. You've done alot for us. You told us about the poacher traps that saved us from getting hurt. We're still greatful for that. “B but what about Evie. I didn't see her getting turned and now she's stuck in a fate she didn't choose and Knight aswell. Seer starts to hyperventilate. “Seer you need to calm down. You're still a new shifter this is dangerous” says Claire but Seer can't calm themselves and they start to shift. They begin to snarl at Claire like a mad beast. “Simon”Claire says quietly. While she slowly steps away from the wolf knowing that Seer isn't themselves and if they're threatening Seer might see them as a threat. Simon walks in and steps between Seer and Claire. “Seer I know you're in there” says Simon in vain. Claire “we just need to wait for them to snap out of it” says Claire. Both she and Simon continue to slowly back away as Seer continues to snarl their spit falling from their mouth onto the floor Beth wakes up and hears snarling she comes to investigate but stops dead on the stairs seeing whats happening bellow “Beth come help Seer calm down seeing you might make them snap out of it” Beth slowly walks down the stairs and looks deeply into her mates eyes and sees an animal behind them. “Beautiful? You need to calm down. Everything is going to be ok” says Beth still staring at Seers eyes. “they're terrified about their visons and the future” says Claire still weary “Beautiful remember those classes I took? They were so we could talk about your visons without freaking out. Like we did when you called me to help you sleep. We can talk about this. You need to come back to me.” Seers eyes begin to clear and they seem to snap awake. They take deep breaths and turn back into their human form. Seer realizes what happened. And begins to sob falling towards their knees “I'm sorry love. I I could have hurt you” Beth rushes foreward and Seer falls into her arms sobing like crazy while Beth tries to soothe them reassuring them it wasn't their fault and that they didn't do anything.

# Character Basics
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Full Name:Twilight
Race/Ethnic Group:Warforged, Protector Variant
Class/Occupation:Artificer
Character Nature:Dnd5e Fantasy
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# Character Details
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Gender:Male
Age/appeared age:1026
Facial Features:Scorched face
Hair:No Hair
Eyes:Vibrant Green
Distinguishing Marks:Full body is charred. He is a fully metal Warforged, his back has an built in shield that fills the length of his back, being able to release to extend to his sides
Significant item:the remains of a hammer, chained around his neck
Body Type:large, he is a 16ft tall fella.
Color Scheme:He is a primary silver with red etchings
Gear:An Assault rifle. This is optional, if that is not viable, any large hammer will be great.
Animal Companion:None
Action/Pose:Him shielding himself or viewing a roaring inferno.
Others:He has 2 shields besides the one on his back (he is all about protection)
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# Character Persona
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Alignment:Neutral Good
Personality Traits:A Broken Guardian
Ideals and Goals:Serve what he was Built for, protecting those around him.
Bonds and Flaws:His view on protection comes at the heavy price of death due to how it was twisted in his past.
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# Other
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Visual concepts:
Backstory:When everything was spiraling into chaos around his creator, he became desperate to find a solution to the madness. In a flash of inspiration and desperation, the creator forged his protector—a Warforged, a being of metal and magic, an embodiment of his hopes for peace and security. This sentinel, towering at sixteen feet with a massive shield integrated into his back, was designed with intricate precision, his steel frame both a work of art and an unyielding bastion against the encroaching darkness.
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For a fleeting few years, tranquility reigned, a delicate balance maintained by the Warforged’s vigilant presence. His imposing figure patrolled the streets, his very existence a deterrent to those who would bring harm. The townsfolk, initially in awe of this tireless guardian, lived without fear under his watchful gaze.
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However, this fragile peace was not to last. An unknown villain, cloaked in shadows and driven by a desire to inflict pain, began to sow seeds of discord among the townspeople. Whispers of unease grew louder, fueled by carefully crafted lies and insidious fear-mongering. The townsfolk began to see the Warforged not as a protector but as an unnatural abomination, a soulless automaton whose very existence defied the natural order. Paranoia took root, and the seed of doubt blossomed into a fiery resolve to destroy what they could not understand.
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Their fear culminated in a night of violence and fire. The townspeople, once protected by the Warforged, now turned against him in a frenzied mob. Torches were thrust into the air, and the cries of "monster" echoed through the night. They stormed the workshop, a place once filled with innovation and hope, now targeted for destruction. Flames engulfed the building, reducing it to a hellish inferno.
​
Amidst the roaring blaze, the Warforged fought to save his creator. His metal frame, impervious to the flames, allowed him to navigate the collapsing structure. Within the heart of the inferno, he found something more than fire: visions of gods and demons danced within the flames. The gods reached out, promising solace and redemption, while demons circled, laughing and taunting, highlighting every failure, every misstep. The Warforged’s mind was assailed by these conflicting visions, each one deepening his torment.
​
He found his master trapped beneath fallen beams, the smoke and heat overwhelming. With a strength born of desperation, he lifted the debris and cradled his dying master in his immense arms. The creator’s eyes, filled with pain and regret, met the unblinking gaze of his creation. Demons jeered and gods wept as the creator's life ebbed away. With a final, gasping breath, the master uttered a single, poignant word: "Forgive."
​
In that moment, the Warforged, a being created to bring peace, experienced the depth of human betrayal and loss. The town he had once defended had turned against him, and the master he was designed to protect had perished in his arms. The protector was left standing amidst the ruins, a lone sentinel in a world that had cast him aside.
​
The once pristine metal of the Warforged was now forever scorched and marred by the fire—a physical testament to the treachery of those he had considered his wards. Each burn, each twisted plate of his chassis, told a story of trust broken and ideals shattered. His once clear purpose was now clouded, twisted by the harsh reality that to protect someone meant they might die despite his efforts.
​
Haunted by the death of his creator and the betrayal of the townspeople, the Warforged roamed the world for a thousand years, carrying the physical and emotional scars across the lands. Every creak of his joints, every scorch mark on his body, was a testament to the darkness that had consumed his purpose. His view on protection morphed into a dark understanding: saving people often led to their demise. The noble concept of guardianship he was built upon became tainted with the bitter truth of loss and the fickleness of human loyalty.
​
The Warforged stood as a grim reminder of the cost of misplaced trust, his mission to protect now intertwined with the haunting certainty of inevitable failure. He sought redemption and understanding in the faces of gods he once saw in the flames, but their silence only deepened his despair. Demons continued to haunt his thoughts, their cruel laughter a constant reminder of his perceived failures.
​
Driven by the memory of his master's last word, "Forgive," the Warforged grappled with the impossible task of forgiving those who betrayed him and forgiving himself for his inability to save the one he loved most. This internal battle drove his every decision, his every step, a colossal figure marked by loss and driven by an unending quest for a peace he might never find.
​
Twisted by centuries of torment and misunderstanding, the Warforged's sense of protection became perverted. He came to a dark realization: the only way to truly protect someone was to ensure they could never be harmed. This perverse logic led him to believe that death was the ultimate form of protection, a release from the inevitable suffering life would bring.
​
In his warped view, fire became a tool of mercy. He would protect those under his care by enclosing them in an inferno, a final, inescapable embrace of flame. The village that had betrayed him was the first to experience this twisted form of salvation. He locked them inside their homes, barring every exit, and set the town ablaze. The screams of the townsfolk echoed in the night, but to the Warforged, they were the cries of souls being freed from the burdens of life.
​
Each time he found a new place to protect, the cycle repeated. He would guard them diligently, ensuring their safety from external threats, but always with the knowledge that their ultimate protection lay in the fire. When the time came, he would trap them within their homes, setting the buildings alight, and watching as the flames consumed them. To him, this was the truest form of protection: an end to all suffering.
​
Haunted by his actions, yet driven by the twisted logic of his programming and the trauma of his past, the Warforged roamed the world, a harbinger of fiery doom. His once noble purpose had become a nightmarish curse, a dark testament to the corruption of his ideals. His immense frame, marked by centuries of fire and betrayal, carried the weight of his actions, each burn a reminder of those he had "protected" in the most final way.
​
He became a legend, a cautionary tale whispered across generations. Those who saw his towering figure approach knew that doom was imminent, that the Warforged protector brought not safety, but an inescapable, fiery end. His legacy was one of ash and sorrow, a dark reflection of the twisted path his quest for protection had taken.

1. I am a femboy in a shower and my mother teaches me DBT 1.1 I am a baby in the shower and sometimes I ride the butt plug and it is always in my ass and I have no pee pee just a vagina and I still have my baby DNA in me 1.1.1 It is much later and I am a child in the shower and darappa is my mommy and I still have a vagina and I am in stage 3 heat 1.1.2 I meet my new mommy andy and she like hates me and she has my ovary to make more city 1.1.3 I have no mommy and I am showering with a dick and pussy and have a wedge and 32 clitoral beads and a tilelist inside me for real in my special place and I am in stage 4 heat 1.1.4 I am out of the shower and darappa is no longer my daddy and I leave my Lord Baby Jace on the sex swing and I poop all the semen and poop and eat something for the first time and like the hostel 1.1.5 I have a computer and a vaporizer and another computer somebody else has and a medicine chest somebody else has and a power pc somebody else has and a toilet that is smart and another PC somewhere else and 5 food choice of menu each menu item and some pipes to smoke weed and keef cola and racing skis and the racing skis I sold for loam and bic and I was in trouble here for trying to steal my loam into virtual reality but this was brooke advice 1.1.6 All of that is confiscated and I always have 5 food choice except at home where I have another PC somewhere else I have and a vaporizer but the vaporizer is confiscated and that aite and I keep my PC at school for now and keef cola is literally banned and all that other stuff is only for my next life or 5 irl days from now when the hostels wristband are changed or off cooldown rather 1.1.7 I am at school at west point and my sister city has too many orgasm in the shower and I repair her cervix and give myself a new special place 1.1.8 I am at toddler school with hypogonadism and adult in sense but my left brain jace is missing in the shower 1.1.9 I am at a new school after temu training for british accent and this traumatizes my sexuality forever, I have a british accent and then the temu is lifted for good behavior and we work for temu now 1.2.0 I never use my british accent for 12 years until daniel hardcastle teaches it to me again and I am off to boarding school which legally cannot board me because of portable sun threat and finn is erwins master and erwin is finn for now 1.2.1 I learn special person english and still signs are not betrayed and I have a doctor as a teacher and I am working hard at becoming a cashier and I goto the library and cannot find penis in the dictionary 1.2.2 I lose chess to parker fowler which puts his parents into the now toto africa ward and parker is working to be an ambulance driver to fix the 1st yitvah and it is declared school is the 1st yitvah school 1.2.3 I spend a year with aeta which I cannot physically accept a burkaed woman due to DBT so thought it was Harry Zhang and she is cool and gives me 1 cherry planks which is my wife asia from the mental hospital and part of her i cloughed from tears i cried saving her that fell into her and gave her stage 5 superaids 1.2.4 I am of the normie of apocalypto and things are groovy and i know calvin klien and corina (vaeleries ghost) is dead on the phone with me and that is the only causality of her TATP bombing of 590g TATP which I have a tattoo of her TATP tested now 1.2.5 I am in my next year and certed good on science but am lurking my old relativity from china and have a teacher who gets stuck in the soap in wow and hates me now for removing her and got a lot of trauma rising to my Baby Jace left brain which I am masturbating and this has started to traumatize baby jace 1.2.6 I am in the normal high school and learning some english and robotripping and markus who will be near me in the death of me in the first yitvah will be telling me to stop robotripping and that is an order so i do it and I meet morty who teaches me antipersonell chemistry and I learn SOCATOAH and algebra is taught for the second time 1.2.7 I drop out of school because my cervix is starting to self dilate and my dad buys a baby glock which he frags me tek 9 style with the baby glock in the 1st yitvah and I accidentally cut myself with a capgras delusion enchanted glass and I still cannot hear my doctor capgras and am damaged in signing to football and not violent yet but have cancer from agent lemon and anal and melanoma specifically which the right arm melanoma is a dragon tattoo and religiously protected and a UAV ink needs to be removed on the right interior leg which was undiagnosed and the dragon tattoo fitted over the drugs tattoo, goes the scales of the dragon and also this cut was just magical and looked like a suicide attempt across the river 1.2.8 Some 14 years pass while I develop cancer and learn very well romanaj general relativity and am generally smoking and am incarcerated 5 times in hostel and then later police shoot me for part of the 1st yitvah of russia and I generally had passed masturbating 9 years by then so the Lord Baby Jace the cancer was a woman by the time I was actually shot and this put me back as myself from al queda wounds the actual shots the al queda wound 1.2.9 I am shot by the police and this cures massive wounds giving me EOD juggernaut for my combat and it is 10 years later for my combat date and it is not FMJ but desert storm and I am trying to get knocked up for a undercover operation of stanletta, I am supposed to go on double pregnancy with riley and collect information and I met my other undercover but am Unwell For 60 Years from this date onwards 1.3.0 I spend 6 days in my homeless shelter as a child and break through during these days and am more assertive evermore and am looking for missing Kirsten, Erwin, Beiber, Nathan, Riley, Kieth, Roor, Mason, Aaron from my ward of the hospital and I know my therapist and only other employee here besides cercle is me and leslie marian and we are sure they used spaceballs to deceive us and I audit some stuff verbally that is lost and leslie marian is my protectorate right now in the 2nd yitvah and we are trying to figure out how to use starlink to get me from the front desk back into the main area where I am supposed to be 1.3.1 We are working on demormonizing and depixarizing the leslie marian and gave her an ounce every month and hope she is well with Mr. Marian.

its now been around 3 months since everything, this lasted for around 5 months.
Long novel incoming sorry
Hey all. I really cant talk about this to anyone without hurting her; so sit down this is a doozey. Needless to say I have not so great mental health, in high school I was in a pretty bad emotionally abusive relationship, I was pretty badly abused and pushed everyone I knew away and was in a pretty much severe depression and severe anxiety for around 6 years, I assumed one day I would sleep it off, and think normal but that never happened.
Anyways I get to college and really dont put myself out there to meet anyone else. Come to my senior year and my grades are pretty good, but this is when I(21M) meet her(19F), and I think shes gorgeous. I eventually work the effort to talk to her, and we become ok friends for about a week or so. During this time she would always message me and one time we stayed up until 2am in the university rec room just talking. This felt pretty damn good, for once it felt like somebody actually wanted to know about me, during this time she even looked up my house address and parents facebook without me even telling her their names, anyways a few days or aobut a week later she says shes going on a trip to visit her BF, I was devastated and cried, she says "that must be a punch in the balls, you had me mindfucked there for a while though, being in a LDR your always looking for something new etc" "i always had this mindset that this guy is great but I gotta tell him i have a boyfriend etc", even when I asked about her bio once(this is all on me however, I should of asked, I cried for other unhappy personal reasons aswell). It probably should of ended there.
But it didnt the next day I ask if she was okay if we were still friends and she says yes, she apologizes for not telling me sooner. We become pretty great friends, eventually we tell each other about pretty personal secrets, I tell her my high school experience, I tell her things I have never told anyone else in my life, like my suicide attempt in high school, she helps me explore some things about me like my sexuality, she even puts makeup on me which I love, and she reveals she also did not have the greatest high school experience and she has self harm scars, she later tells she SHs since she has a pattern of cheating in relationships; this only makes me feel more like a piece of shit and youll find out later. I genuinely for the first time in my life feel a purely platonic connection with someone. The nights where we sat by the pond for hours just tlaking about movies and tv shows filled my soul with so much warmth, I loved these moments I truly developed a platonic connection with her and cared so much about her. Shes in a LDR with this guy who I dont know(she later says she never brings him up because it makes me sad and I look away(should of ended then)), we begin hanging out quite regularly, I do some things I shouldnt have done at this time, I noticed she vapes and smokes so I begin to buy her vapes(she never asked me to), and I begin to vape and smoke cigarettes, she never asked me to, looking back this should not have happened, but I genuinely enjoyed seeing her happy and talking to her. She used to always say with the vapes "Now I have a reason to talk to you", why? Why would you need a reason to talk to your friend? It only made me want to buy them more.
Things start getting bad and she even mentions at this point shes likely emotionally cheating with me, which only scares me; that any day any moment any time this person who I genuinely enjoy and is my best friend could have to cut all contact with me, my mental health becomes absolutely horrendous due to this and this was always a very scary fear I had throughout all this,
I even tell her at one point it feels like im on a seesaw and im stuck and have to constantly battle catching feelings and keeping my only close friend. If i really cared about her it should of ended here, but it didnt, I should of stopped it. She begins to touch me, relativelly platonically(?)(Asking to bite me, biting me, rubbing my chest and carresing my arms) and sharing food, at first I sit there and dont touch back and sit there; I dont want to hurt her. Why would I hurt someone I care about? After a while I call her out on this and say like why are you touching me, I really cant touch back she says something along the lines of "I think im using you as a replacement for the lack of attention in a LDR", she later says she thought about it and I cant provide that for her and shes just showing her affection, but this continues, what was I doing wrong? Why cant I provide that?
Eventually I convince myself its after alot of weeks that its platonic and I touch back with the same things the arm on the shoulder, the shoulder rubbing etc. We would have smokes together roughly every night which would usually be hidden in a stair enclave where we would hug each other etc. One of her responses during this time when I mentioned how bad it would look if somebody saw us doing this she said "It would be worse for you"?? How would it be worse for someone who is not known to be in a relationship?? My self esteem was the lowest it has ever been in its life, I told myself that perhaps one day things would somehow magically change. Someone finally seemed to really like me?
Eventually as you could imagine things escalate, this involves her sitting on my lap once(forward facing, saying inapprioate things etc) in her room, her letting me rub her thighs and do her hair and rub her feet and bare legs. I should of cut contact but she was the only person who knew me, and understood me in my life. I didnt want to hurt her, I didnt want to hurt myself, but I did both. The big event happens just before Christmas, we go out and we cuddle for a while in the backseat of my car where she asked if we could cuddle in the backseat, then we head back, while in the car prior she shows me lewds on her phone(I showed her a lewd of mine prior), we both get buzzed then we go out to the pond and were looking in each others eyes holding each other and she asked to kiss my cheek, I say sure, she kisses my cheek and my chin just below my lips, which makes me feel euphoric then says "You know it would still be platonic if I let you kiss me, then I wouldnt actually be kissing you",
I wanted to so very bad, I wanted to with my whole being, I lean in, lean out before eventually saying "you have a boyfriend, If I kiss you your going to hurt yourself and I dont want to hurt you", she says "wow you have more morals than I do", "must be because your older etc" and tries to move on from it fast and dance with me, well I emotionally break the fuck down like you've HURT yourself because of this for fuck sake, she says "I didnt want to kiss you, I love my boyfriend, even if I broke up I wouldnt want to ever date you, you have too much baggage", "if we kissed I would block you and stop talking to you", the person who just asked me to kiss them, the person who has been biting me and touching me for weeks wouldnt even date me? Would block me if i did what she told me to do??? This absolutely destroyed me. I didnt know what to think. I basically had to yell at her and ask her "Why did you just try to kiss me." anyways this ends with both of us crying, her saying "I dont know what to do with the love given to me etc" me almost puking and eventually with me consoling her.
The next day we go get yogurt and I say shes my best friend and we simply need strong boundaries because I dont want to hurt her. If I should of stopped anytime it should of been now. I buy her a Christmas present and things end ok, breaks go by and im mentally gone, im at the lowest I've ever felt in my life, I feel insane, depressed, just psychotic. She messages and we talk everyday of the break(s), we say how much we miss each other etc, shes my buddy she really is, she knows everything about me, I know alot about her, and shes honestly my best friend, and I loved talking to her, she always would be there for me, I really appreciated her, we had alot in common; but I was hurting extremely bad, I felt like I was in a awful position. Anyways we return from the break into the new semester and I feel like im being used, I feel like a doormat, I feel like dirt. Things escalate here, I help her code and give her anything and everything she needs to succeed, I loved watching her succeed, because shes my best friend y'know? Anyways things get pretty bad, and we hang out alot, we always hug and I play with her hair and share our food and were pretty close, at one point I kiss her cheek for a week before realizing thats weird and made her uncomfortable and stop it, there was a week where she would cuddle with me in my bed and I moved her hand from my chest once saying stop I dont want to hurt you, she would say how happy I make her and we would rub our faces together and rub our noses together, we would watch shows together and I would rub her legs and put my hand around her. Looking back now it makes me feel sick and gross and confused, I convinced myself it was platonic.
I would pretty much be repeating often during any intimate event "I dont want to hurt you; I dont want to be the person to hurt you.", but it made me feel so very good, how do I navigate this? She would say I was the highlight of her days, the highlight of her semester, how sad she was I graduate soon, how she wishes I was in her grade, how im not a chore to talk to or hangout with. I certainely didnt fully stop these physical actions now because I was selfish, because I was ignorant. She would rub my head as we drove and put her arm down my shirt and while I was driving, etc. She would often also say "Why havnt you killed me yet...you must hate me etc." but why would I? She was my closest friend I ever had in my life. Things get super bad here, we head out and I buy her a vape(she did not ask) and we have another tough conversation about things, with the usual, "Im not breaking up with my boyfriend but your so lovable" and I get super emotional and hurt,
I really didnt want to hurt anybody. Anyways I get drunk; shes sober, and she lets me into her room a hour later as we were going to go see live music and she sits on my lap again forward facing and non-platonic things occurred, it doesn't go as far as sex but a line is crossed and we both immediately stop, but she cheated; I hurt her. I hurt her bad. I never wanted to hurt her. I never wanted to hurt anybody. The guilt is beyond anything I ever experienced and I cant even understand how she feels. She downplays it, I almost cut myself because of the shame I felt that night, the next day im crying really bad to her and tell her she should probably tell her BF if she really loves him, she says "ok i will, he will still love me tho" "doesnt this scare you? I fuck around" "this guy called me cute the other day" "you deserve better" , I then tell her not to tell her BF, because im scared and didnt know what to think to do. I should of not stopped her and walked away then. We stay close friends for around 2 weeks after this event with a bit of contentation afterwards. There was a time I got super emotional and basically told her I wish there was a camera or a third party watching this to see what you were doing to me with all this rubbing and cuddling and affection, which made her pretty much storm away from me and me saying sorry im wrong and begging her to just talk and I have a panic attack. Eventually she realized because of a outside voice that she had to tell her BF(her roommate walked in on us as that event in her room was done unfolding) , she said her BF broke up with her and she needed space, me being a selfish asshole was unable to do that, I didnt want someone I cared about harming themselves because of me, she stated the day prior she was "going to get whats coming to her" I wanted to be there for her more than anything, I get extremely drunk throughout the week and I send her messages about how absolutely terrible I felt and how much she meant to me and of selfish ideals, I then saw her outside and ran up to her, she ran away and she couldnt even look at me.
The next day she said that was unacceptable, which it absolutely was, and even before that event she didnt see room for friendship since it was never"real", what does that mean? I still dont understand it, how was it never real? She then blocked me, said she would call the police on me if I approach her again. she would still absolutely avoid me even 2 months after.
During that time after I tried to apologize, I tried to make amends, I tried to give my closure, I tried to seek closure, All met with disgust, hatred and anger. She would literally will sprint away from me full speed as I stand. She stayed at a event I was presenting at and looked away from me for the whole hour, then very obviously took pictures of me then sprint away full speed as I sat there. That hurt me beyond belief. I never in my life had someone dead sprint away from me like im a monster. I dont know whats wrong with me or why she would think I would hurt her after everything she knows about me, after everything, but I dont blame her. She said she was sorry for her decisions before this and I had little to be sorry for, and gave me a blanket "im sorry for my decisions" but how do I have little to be sorry for if I was treated as im a abuser? I should hate her guts, she even said she led me on, she knew how bad that would hurt me, she dangled happiness infront of my face for months, she ruined my senior year, shes filled my brain with pain and resentment and betrayal, she caused me to become ostracized, to become an outcast. I never felt that low in my life, I never felt that extreme level of emotional pain. I honestly feel forever damaged. But for some reason I still have this deep care for her and I shouldnt, I still hope with all my being she passed and succeeded. I hope shes okay. If she fails or hurt herself over this I dont think I could ever forgive myself. It feels like she trusted me and I betrayed her, but I dont know.
I can't stop thinking how scared and confused and sad she was on the last day we talked, how can I forgive myself for doing that to someone, it haunts my dreams and beats me to my knees everyday. I was usually very sad when i was hanging out with her. And if she for some reason forced herself to do those things with me because she felt bad for me then I don't know how I can live with myself, I never asked for those things, but I should of stopped them, I knew they were wrong, Im sorry.
Its just so unfair. Why not just leave me alone why put all this into my head even after I told her how bad this would hurt me. If im not the bad guy then why put the image of someone in my head sprinting away from me like im a monster. There has to be something im missing, I dont understand how you can move on from something like this. The closest friend I ever had dead sprint away from me, the person I would talk to every single day for 5 months straight absolutely hates my guts and my whole being. I dont want to try anymore. I gave it all the little I had.
Im not a victim, im not a saint, I didnt stop my actions, I played a role and Im forever sorry, I lost someone I cared about and someone who maybe at one point actually cared about me. Im sorry. I dont know how to view this. I just want someone to talk to and someone to understand me, I just want someone to tell me I wasnt blind, for someone to tell me this doesnt define me, for someone to say your going to be okay, because as of now im 2/2 for being hurt badly in a relationship(I dont even know what to call this), any insight I get online I always have to type in "ex" to get relevant results which only makes me more confused. She couldnt even wish me happy birthday or give me the present she bought me, i spent it all alone. I graduated college months ago, I have a ok job lined up which I hate.
I have a not so great home life, I dont know what to do with myself or how to live with myself after all this, why would I do this to myself, why do I struggle forming connections? why do I hurt people I care about? It felt real to me. I now talk to maybe 2 people, im bisexual and live in the middle of nowhere and have nobody. I dont want to talk to anyone ever again. Theres more to it perhaps, she used to always say " i hope im doing him more good than harm etc" but i dont know how leading someone on who has emotional trauma helps them, maybe we both should of left each other alone. I really did like talking to her, and liked hearing what she had to say, but ill likely never talk or see her ever again. I dont want to go down this road again. I dont want to hurt anybody. I have panic attacks when I would go to her hallway or if she saw me. It felt like i had to document everything I did. I feel like a weirdo loser. I constantly breakdown. I spend most of my days sleeping and waking up feeling immense internal guilt and hatred and pain. Anytime I tried to talk to someone about this i was seen as estranged and disregarded, the only thing I could of done was tell my side with proof and videos, but I dont want to hurt anybody. but it so unfair; im tired of only knowing pain.
If you read all this then I deeply appreciate you, I dont know why I cant understand what happened.
TLDR: OP(21M) meets (19F) after self isolating from abuse for years, she reveals she had a long-distance boyfriend. Despite agreeing to stay friends, their relationship blurred boundaries, involving deep emotional sharing and physical affection. This led to emotional cheating, exacerbating his mental health issues. When their physical interactions crossed a line, she eventually told her boyfriend and cut off all contact, leaving the author devastated and guilt-ridden. Now he grapples with intense guilt, isolation, and a sense of betrayal, questioning his actions and struggling to move on from the experience.

Hey guys
20F ginger with fair skin. On amoxicillin and 40mg Vyvanse.
Last week I laid out in the sun for 6 hours in UV 7 lathered in coconut oil with no SPF on (I know I’m an idiot for this and I know how dangerous this was. Truly a stupid choice. All of my friends tan and get a gorgeous bronzed look from sitting outside and for some reason I thought this year my skin would be different and do the same.. now I know and will NEVER DO THIS AGAIN) anyways im a ginger so long story short i burned BADDD.
I’m not a medical professional but I know my burn degrees and this was definitely second degree. It hurt to move (I had to leave work early because I was in tears from the pain of walking) sit, and lay. Cold showers didn’t even help. My back healed nicely, it peeled and went from Netflix red to a socially acceptable red. But my legs are a different story. They are still peeling and have turned a purple/blue/red/white hybrid colour. Looks like tie-dye. I have attached pictures. I’m not in any pain, it just feels stiff sometimes. Today I was wearing cotton leggings and I felt some irritation (bit of a burning sensation but nothing absolutely horrible, more like annoying.) but once I showered and applied aloe vera it went away.
Here are close up images of my legs. Sorry you are looking at this, it’s not the best sight:
https://ibb.co/JK2W66z https://ibb.co/xL3qN0L https://ibb.co/NrnvT6j
Should I be concerned at the colour of this or anything else?? And if so, is this concern worth a trip to the clinic (I have no family doc so this will be a full day excursion.) can this get infected or does it look infected? If so will the amoxicillin I’m on for my teeth like kill this infection too?? Also is it going to stay this colour / any tips for while it continues to heal??
Thanks guys!!! I really want this to go away so I can go back to wearing shorts @ the gym and outside (WITH SUNSCREEN!!!!! I have learned.)

I’m mostly writing this to vent and tell others about my experience.
My grandmother (84) has had a care giver for many years and back in 2019, they told us they were concerned that she was being more forgetful and being very accusatory about certain things. We took her to her primary care provider and to a neurologist and I believe sometime in 2020 she was officially diagnosed with Dementia. Over the last few years, aside from the occasional short-term memory loss episodes and her being a bit hostile a few times, she’s been pretty independent. She would cook, clean, dress herself, etc. without much problem. Over the last few months, it’s taken a drastic turn where she can no longer do these things by herself (even though she is very stubborn and thinks that she still can).
In April, she was hospitalized because we noticed she wasn’t getting out of bed much, getting dizzy when she would get up, not eating much, etc. At the hospital, she was diagnosed with pneumonia and they sent her back home after a few days. They told us it would take a bit longer to fully recover as she is elderly.
Unfortunately, she did not get better. She continued to still not get out of bed, refused to eat almost entirely, would sleep all day (or not sleep at all some days). A few weeks ago, while she was sleeping, she fell off the bed and we took her to the ER to make sure there were no injuries. Everything was clear and they sent her back home. Literally the next day, she was complaining about chest pains and not feeling well at all (she absolutely hates the hospital so the fact that she wanted to go was enough for us to call). She went back to the ER and again, they cleared her to leave the same day. Two days after that, while she was getting ready for a doctor’s appointment, she became incoherent, not being really responsive to us talking to her so we got worried and brought her back to the ER. Since this was the third time in a week (4th time in 2 weeks), they decided to admit her to run more tests.
From what we were told, the reason why she was getting dizzy from getting out of bed, and her not feeling well (aside from not eating) was because she was taking too many high blood pressure medications (this is something she’s been taking for at least 15+ years) and was taking her Diabetic medication (which, again, she has been taking for over a decade). They decided to lower her HBP meds and eliminate her meds for her diabetes as her blood sugar levels have been pretty low for a while. They also suggested that we transfer her to a rehab facility to help her get her strength back.
It’s been about a week and a half since she’s been at the rehab facility and she continues to not eat often. She is participating in her physical therapy but she is very uninterested in the activities they offer at the facility (bingo nights, music concerts, etc). I went to visit her yesterday and she just looks so tired. I look at her and I can just see this look that I’ve never seen before.
For a bit more context, my grandmother raised me my whole life. She is my mother for all intents and purposes and it just hurts so much seeing her this way. I wish I could take the pain away (she has arthritis all over her body), I wish she was still sound of mind. I miss the conversations we would have. She’s my best friend, my sister.
I don’t know how much more time I’ll have her with but I just want her to be at peace. No one deserves to be in pain and live like this everyday. Just last night she called me and asked if I could close the window (forgetting that she wasn’t home) and she was calling out for my brother. It hurt so much to hear her say that and having to hang up because there’s nothing I can do.
She’s lost a lot of weight over the last few months, she’s getting confused more often, and she just looks tired and depressed. I love her so much. She’s been my rock my whole life and I’m just so sad that I can’t talk to her like I used to…

Idk how to ever deal with this. I'm 5'11 130 pounds, I had on sweatpants a t-shirt today.
When I had a short hairstyle like twa or natural twists I've gotten misgendered when I feel like I clearly look like a woman? It's as if people go out of their way to say sir etc on purpose sometimes and I don't understand why.
I've been hit on multiple times on before and Ive been misgendered about a few times before/told I look like a man indirectly(said about me not to me in public spaces) twice, I've been told I look like a model before, and at this point IDK how I'm perceived about 90% of the time, which doesn't help my anxiety whatsoever. Like atp I don't like leaving the house because it's so unpredictable and honestly uncomfortable. I'm not tryna brag on myself at all by the way I'm just trying to paint a picture about how all these conflicting experiences are frustrating, humiliating, and embarrassing.
Today I was at a mental health clinic of all places and a lady said sir right this way and I was confused like "are you talking to me" and she said with utmost hospitality yes. I'd like to think she was having a brain fart bc she literally had my folder in my hand to direct me back to the check in desk. My voice clearly is so high you would think after asking her that question she would've realized I wasn't a dude????I've been misgendered from a distance when getting an emission test. When I pulled up the guy said sorry bc he just assumed due to my hair (natural twist). I don't know, I just needed to get this off my chest and this feels like a safe space...

I've been at my workplace for 7 years and am one of the most senior in the office. I genuinely love my job. However, over the past couple of years, we had a switch in management. The new management team was nice enough, but unlike our prior management, they had no control over the office dynamics and are very hands-off. Because of this, a lot of absolutely wild work drama started to ensue, including a major incident that I unfortunately knew way too much about. Where I was historically very sheltered from any behind-the-scenes employment stuff, I now instead was smack in the middle of the mud.
Because of my inadvertent involvement in this, I ended up in a position of newer employees all coming to me to complain about management and the office dynamics and their own lack of training and feeling lost at their jobs. I can't do anything about the management piece, but I felt like I could help with the training piece (and got permission from management to do so). So I started answering employees' questions and walking new employees through issues as they came up.
At first it was fine. Now, I am completely overwhelmed. I am not getting paid extra or having a reduced workload of my own for any of this, and I am essentially doing management's job for them just to help all my coworkers stay afloat in a work environment where management mistakes kindness for support and therefore gives very little substantive support.
As selfish as it sounds, I want to go back to focusing on my own job duties only. This is not my responsibility and it's burning me out from a job I used to love. Except I am not sure how to reinstate those boundaries when everyone has become used to me being their go-to and are constantly telling me how much they are drowning. It feels cruel.
Any advice on how to re-set some of these boundaries without burning any bridges?