Cute raps for boyfriend
Interracial Dating
2013.04.22 00:21 twr3x Interracial Dating
A space for interracial couples to share experiences, ask questions, and to support one another.
2020.07.09 03:20 eliteprephistory Songs that I didn't need to write but did anyway
Here is a place for all the songs I write on Reddit
2008.11.18 03:38 Faces
This is the wholesome place to post your face. SFW pictures of human faces.
2024.05.15 06:28 LetterheadOk9669 AITAH For blowing up on my friend for saying I look like her?
Context I Avery 19 year old female and Lucy (Not her real name) 18 year old female have been friends for a year. I am a grade above her and we are in the same fine art activity. We are both on the colorguard team at my school.
Our team isn’t necessarily good, but we aren’t bad. (To the people who know Scholastic AA). For some reason Lucy is obsessed with the idea she looks like me. All because of a comment someone made to her. They walked up to her thinking it was me from a far. She has made it her life mission to make herself me.
She was a primary flag on my team and I am a primary rifle. Since I am a senior in school I’m not getting ready for next season. However, my director is making all members who have done at least one season try rifle. Lucy was excited to try rifle saying she can be like me. I thought this was sweet cause she looked up to me, but I was very wrong.
Lucy happened to be really good at rifle. Nothing against her she’s a great person to have on the team, but her ego has gone way up. She’s been making fun of people who drop their rifle or use the wrong technique and she always comes in for reassurance saying things like “Right Avery she needs to slow down her toss or right Avery she needs to put her left hand completely to the side.” It puts me in a position that makes me uncomfortable and i’ve told her to stop.
Lately she’s been dressing like me. She always used to wear a Tee shirt, shorts, and her hair down to rehearsal, but lately she’s been wearing Sports bras, leggings, and pulls her hair into a braid. Just like me. She used to march around saying she hates the color pink (She’s a major tom boy), but now she wears it saying it suits her. She even bought my perfume. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say anything cause I’ll be gone within a week anyways because of Graduation.
She was starting to really piss me off when she would make comments like “Avery look we both have a pimple on our cheek.” I’m extremely insecure about acne. She knows this. She would say things like “our cycles are synced it’s like our bodies are the same person.” “We’re both on our 15th set of invisalign. Our teeth are getting straighter together.”
Yesterday I was getting ready for a banquet with Lucy and some other girls from the team. It’s all fun and games till Lucy pulls out almost the exact same dress as me. There is no way she wasn’t trying to copy. I was going for a Audrey Hepburn look with a black dress, gloves, pearls, and Prada sunglasses. Lucy pulls out a shorter black dress, gloves, pearls, black sunglasses. She then exclaimed “Omg twin we’re gonna look so good. It’s almost like great minds think alike or something. People won’t even be able to tell us apart.”
I was livid to say the least. She knew I had been planing on that outfit since last banquet. I let it go it was my senior banquet it was fine. I take photos with everyone and she’s doing her thing when she puts her arm around my boyfriend’s shoulder. I immediately stand up from our banquet table and grab her arm swinging it off him. She said “Sorry I thought it would be a cute picture cause he’s dressed to match us.” I cut her off and said “No Lucy he’s dressed to match me. I’m not sure what you think your doing wanting to become me and comparing yourself to me, but it needs to stop.” She then rolls her eyes and slumps in her chair. She mumbled under her breath “I don’t look like you. You look like me. Get it right. You’re so obsessed.”
I started to yell at her “You don’t look like me. Not even a little bit. Your eyes are blue and mine are green. Your hair is brown while mine is blonde. Your nose slopes down and mine slopes up at the end. Your chin is slightly pointed and my sticks out. My eyes are almond while yours are hooded. I’m 5’11 and you’re 5’3. Your boobs are bigger than mine. My feet are bigger than yours. We do not look alike.”
At this point everyone is looking at us. Most people know what i’m getting at cause they asked me days ago why she was copying me. Lucy starts to cry called me some names and ran off. I cut the night short and went home. I told my mom in the morning and she told me I should’ve let Lucy live out her fantasy for a week till I graduate. A couple of friends of Lucy have texted me and called me an Asshole. But I don’t think I am.
Am I the Asshole?
submitted by LetterheadOk9669 to AITAH [link] [comments]
Our team isn’t necessarily good, but we aren’t bad. (To the people who know Scholastic AA). For some reason Lucy is obsessed with the idea she looks like me. All because of a comment someone made to her. They walked up to her thinking it was me from a far. She has made it her life mission to make herself me.
She was a primary flag on my team and I am a primary rifle. Since I am a senior in school I’m not getting ready for next season. However, my director is making all members who have done at least one season try rifle. Lucy was excited to try rifle saying she can be like me. I thought this was sweet cause she looked up to me, but I was very wrong.
Lucy happened to be really good at rifle. Nothing against her she’s a great person to have on the team, but her ego has gone way up. She’s been making fun of people who drop their rifle or use the wrong technique and she always comes in for reassurance saying things like “Right Avery she needs to slow down her toss or right Avery she needs to put her left hand completely to the side.” It puts me in a position that makes me uncomfortable and i’ve told her to stop.
Lately she’s been dressing like me. She always used to wear a Tee shirt, shorts, and her hair down to rehearsal, but lately she’s been wearing Sports bras, leggings, and pulls her hair into a braid. Just like me. She used to march around saying she hates the color pink (She’s a major tom boy), but now she wears it saying it suits her. She even bought my perfume. I thought it was weird, but I didn’t say anything cause I’ll be gone within a week anyways because of Graduation.
She was starting to really piss me off when she would make comments like “Avery look we both have a pimple on our cheek.” I’m extremely insecure about acne. She knows this. She would say things like “our cycles are synced it’s like our bodies are the same person.” “We’re both on our 15th set of invisalign. Our teeth are getting straighter together.”
Yesterday I was getting ready for a banquet with Lucy and some other girls from the team. It’s all fun and games till Lucy pulls out almost the exact same dress as me. There is no way she wasn’t trying to copy. I was going for a Audrey Hepburn look with a black dress, gloves, pearls, and Prada sunglasses. Lucy pulls out a shorter black dress, gloves, pearls, black sunglasses. She then exclaimed “Omg twin we’re gonna look so good. It’s almost like great minds think alike or something. People won’t even be able to tell us apart.”
I was livid to say the least. She knew I had been planing on that outfit since last banquet. I let it go it was my senior banquet it was fine. I take photos with everyone and she’s doing her thing when she puts her arm around my boyfriend’s shoulder. I immediately stand up from our banquet table and grab her arm swinging it off him. She said “Sorry I thought it would be a cute picture cause he’s dressed to match us.” I cut her off and said “No Lucy he’s dressed to match me. I’m not sure what you think your doing wanting to become me and comparing yourself to me, but it needs to stop.” She then rolls her eyes and slumps in her chair. She mumbled under her breath “I don’t look like you. You look like me. Get it right. You’re so obsessed.”
I started to yell at her “You don’t look like me. Not even a little bit. Your eyes are blue and mine are green. Your hair is brown while mine is blonde. Your nose slopes down and mine slopes up at the end. Your chin is slightly pointed and my sticks out. My eyes are almond while yours are hooded. I’m 5’11 and you’re 5’3. Your boobs are bigger than mine. My feet are bigger than yours. We do not look alike.”
At this point everyone is looking at us. Most people know what i’m getting at cause they asked me days ago why she was copying me. Lucy starts to cry called me some names and ran off. I cut the night short and went home. I told my mom in the morning and she told me I should’ve let Lucy live out her fantasy for a week till I graduate. A couple of friends of Lucy have texted me and called me an Asshole. But I don’t think I am.
Am I the Asshole?
2024.05.15 06:05 nopehujkinmkh New dog. In love. Stubborn as heck.
 | Hello, I have just adopted a wonderful dog. She had a very rough start. They found her covered in fleas ticks and dirt in the middle of Texas and she was heavily pregnant. She was brought to Connecticut and had five puppies. Only four of them survived. The four survivors were adopted out. She was then spayed and put up on Petfinder where I found her and brought her home. She may have some hormones that are still regulating but She is a literal dream. She is the cutest little thing. 17 lb Boston terrier Chihuahua mix. I've only had her a week but she is already so attached to me and she's been wonderful and she's slowly been socializing with other people and dogs. She is just a goofy clown that brings so much joy to my life. I understand that both of those breeds can be stubborn, but I feel like she's doing a full-on protest. Every morning I wake up and I drive her to the dog park because it's fenced in and I let her get her energy out in the morning and then I take her again at lunch time with a little picnic for myself and then I take her again at night. The problem is when I don't have time to drive her or when it's too late or when you know life just gets in the way like my car broke down like it did today. I have to take her out for a full hour, hour and a half. Sometimes two and a half hours and she will either do a poop or a pee but not both. And then we come inside either overnight or right away. She will do the one in the house. Now when we go to the dog park she does both and comes home and doesn't have an accident. I'm wondering if this is just her adjustment time which is fine. I I don't discipline too much with the accidents because I go more with positive reinforcement where I give her a lot of praise and treats when she does go outside. I try not to raise my voice today but days like today when it just is piled on....it's hard to be patient.I want to be clear. Nothing in this world is going to make me get rid of her. If I have to freaking pad train her I will. I don't want to. I think she might be cold outside. She is a short-haired dog and the night time is sometimes cold. I got her a longer leash that she can run around more. I play fetch with her. I take her on longer walks. Today we were outside from 9:00 at night to 11:30 and the moment she came in she came in and immediately peed on the bed. The only other issue we've had is she occasionally resource guards me. But she's usually quick to drop that when I correct her. I feel terrible because I had to put her in the kennel while I remade the bed and cleaned up the pee and she's looking at me like I broke.jer heart. . submitted by nopehujkinmkh to AdoptedDogsAreBest [link] [comments] I was really nervous about getting a dog. I waited 15 years to get a dog. for contexts I had a wonderful little dog. He was 27 lb. He was the mix of all mixes. His mom was a Chihuahua pug and his dad was a cocker spaniel poodle. He was a very odd looking boy but very cute and he was very well behaved. Now my mom's friend had puppies and my mom wanted one and my dad told her we're only going to have one dog. I love my mom. My mom is not a great person. She basically made me get rid of panda because he was an "ugly dog" and she wanted a puppy. She never got one. By the way, my dad really liked Panda and when we got rid of him he was kind of pissed and told her that they weren't getting another puppy ever . I would have said no but I was only 19 at the time and I didn't have money to move out of my own. I was still in college. Panda went to my boyfriend at the time's mom who was retired so she was home all the time with him and they had a wonderful relationship. But unfortunately, his mom lived alone and fell down some stairs and died. He then went to My ex-boyfriend who will let me visit him and pet him and see him all the time until my ex-boyfriend and I got in a fight when his roommate wanted to get a couple of Cane Corso puppies and I told him that wasn't a great idea for a 8-year-old 27 lb dog who's only lived alone. Then things got weird Tommy gotten sick and I offered to take care of Panda and he yelled at me and told me I was never going to get Panda back because he gave Panda to his new girlfriend's parents. But would not provide any pictures or updates or anything? And I understand that I was forced to give Panda away but it's not something I wanted. Unfortunately. Tom was a heavy drinker And had a lot of trauma In a short amount of time his mom died then his dad died that his best friend died. He ended up drinking himself to death. I tried to find out where Panda went but everyone was really secretive about it. i think something bad might have happened with Panda and the Cane Corsos because Tom was the type of person to not want to admit someone's right when he's wrong and I feel like the only reason he wouldn't have told me about what happened to Panda is because then it would prove that I was right even though I don't really care that I'm right. I promised myself that I would wait until I felt like I was in a place where there was no way I could lose my dog or anyone could make me lose my dog. I gave Panda away 15 years ago. I'm in my thirties now and I am a very confident with dogs. All my friends have me watch their dogs. I know a lot about training but I've never adopted a dog and I understand the 333 rule but I just want to make sure I'm doing an okay job even though she seems to be in protest. Am I taking her to the dog park too often even though it makes her happy? She really is the best thing. She is such a love. Also, thank you for your advice. |
2024.05.15 05:35 Great_55555 Feeling shit from constant rejection, making me think dating is pure luck.
Feeling shit from constant rejection, making me think dating is pure luck.
I posted this as a comment in a previous post, but would love some advice from the 3% community, especially dudes who were in my situation. I would like some help. For context, I'm 21 , still going to college and read his book 5 times.
I've been doing this for 1.5 years with no results. I managed to make great friends who truly care about me, got an internship with a company who values my time, managed to become fit , and I'm not too afraid to hit on girls or talk to people in general (couldn't even talk to people on the phone back in the day). Out of the 15 girls I asked out who matched my list, I got rejected by all of them, it hurts.
It hurts when you see guys who don't know any of this material, are looks challenged, managed to get girls who looks wise match the perfect girl on my list. I'm not ugly, I've been told that I'm decent looking in looks, especially when I was fit. The only draw back I can think of is that I'm Indian origin living in a white country (NZ), (lived here 20 yrs now) but I'm not insecure of my race at all.
I texted this girl who seemed very receptive and laughed at all my jokes this past week. Showed signs of attractions, talked a lot when I asked her questions, and showed no resistance when I asked for her number. She never texted back. Shit broke me. This situation happens to all the previous girls I've asked out before, very receptive (flirting, ask questions, smiling) but never make it to a first date (usually they're taken).
I tried to use dating apps and I got no likes or anything. Bought premium, took good pictures, expanded my preferences, still got nothing. I have friends who have worse profiles than me, don't know anything of the material Corey teaches, and they managed to get dates with some cute girls. They also managed to finally end their dry spell after many years, I'm proud for my boys, but it irks me that I try so hard, but got zero results.
I know dating is a numbers game, but it hurts knowing that I read all this material, improved everywhere in my life, but still haven't gotten a date in these past 1.5 years. The last girl I dated was pure luck, she matched what I liked at the time, was the first girl I asked out, and managed to date her for a year. I would think with all the knowledge and improvement I got, I should have an easier chance to get dates, but nothing ever came up. This just makes me believe dating is just pure luck, if you don't have luck in there, it's gonna be rough. I don't think guys my age put as much effort as I did, and they managed to get the type of women they like.
When it comes to class, I have only a little fear to sit next to the pretty girls, talk to them, and ask for their number. When it comes to asking for the date, that's where it ends, either they're not interested or have a boyfriend (they actually do on their socials so not lying). It hurts that I can never pass that part and manage to get a first date.
I know attraction is a choice, no matter what I do, girls will either like me or not. But doesn't this just show me that dating is just luck? That I have be to lucky to find a woman who actually likes me?
I'm thinking of getting therapy to help me mentally, I have been feeling shit about this. Sorry if this sounds negative. I will still continue to follow Corey's advice and help others who need help in their dating life. I would like some advice to my conundrum.
submitted by Great_55555 to CoreyWayne [link] [comments]
I posted this as a comment in a previous post, but would love some advice from the 3% community, especially dudes who were in my situation. I would like some help. For context, I'm 21 , still going to college and read his book 5 times.
I've been doing this for 1.5 years with no results. I managed to make great friends who truly care about me, got an internship with a company who values my time, managed to become fit , and I'm not too afraid to hit on girls or talk to people in general (couldn't even talk to people on the phone back in the day). Out of the 15 girls I asked out who matched my list, I got rejected by all of them, it hurts.
It hurts when you see guys who don't know any of this material, are looks challenged, managed to get girls who looks wise match the perfect girl on my list. I'm not ugly, I've been told that I'm decent looking in looks, especially when I was fit. The only draw back I can think of is that I'm Indian origin living in a white country (NZ), (lived here 20 yrs now) but I'm not insecure of my race at all.
I texted this girl who seemed very receptive and laughed at all my jokes this past week. Showed signs of attractions, talked a lot when I asked her questions, and showed no resistance when I asked for her number. She never texted back. Shit broke me. This situation happens to all the previous girls I've asked out before, very receptive (flirting, ask questions, smiling) but never make it to a first date (usually they're taken).
I tried to use dating apps and I got no likes or anything. Bought premium, took good pictures, expanded my preferences, still got nothing. I have friends who have worse profiles than me, don't know anything of the material Corey teaches, and they managed to get dates with some cute girls. They also managed to finally end their dry spell after many years, I'm proud for my boys, but it irks me that I try so hard, but got zero results.
I know dating is a numbers game, but it hurts knowing that I read all this material, improved everywhere in my life, but still haven't gotten a date in these past 1.5 years. The last girl I dated was pure luck, she matched what I liked at the time, was the first girl I asked out, and managed to date her for a year. I would think with all the knowledge and improvement I got, I should have an easier chance to get dates, but nothing ever came up. This just makes me believe dating is just pure luck, if you don't have luck in there, it's gonna be rough. I don't think guys my age put as much effort as I did, and they managed to get the type of women they like.
When it comes to class, I have only a little fear to sit next to the pretty girls, talk to them, and ask for their number. When it comes to asking for the date, that's where it ends, either they're not interested or have a boyfriend (they actually do on their socials so not lying). It hurts that I can never pass that part and manage to get a first date.
I know attraction is a choice, no matter what I do, girls will either like me or not. But doesn't this just show me that dating is just luck? That I have be to lucky to find a woman who actually likes me?
I'm thinking of getting therapy to help me mentally, I have been feeling shit about this. Sorry if this sounds negative. I will still continue to follow Corey's advice and help others who need help in their dating life. I would like some advice to my conundrum.
2024.05.15 05:35 ivamondal5 Love senior review (mine)
I know its late guyzz but I needed to finish the series and give u my review. Don't hate me for being this late .
And why literally why everyone were into main leads !!? It doesn't make sense at all . And why I felt like their relationship was kinda toxic !!!
submitted by ivamondal5 to yurivisualnovels [link] [comments]
Main leads : 5/10 no hate to them but sometimes I felt like their acting is acting. Sometimes they acted really well but sometimes it just didn't work for me . Maybe because of the directions or something it felt little off Second leads : 8/10 i like especially pwarang . She is my fav in this gl ... how she made angry faces, cute faces , when she was angry on the main lead everything was top notch. I liked her , I want to see her in another gl with the main lead soon . Don't know how many years I need to wait. But yaa her character was matured, understanding, introvert, tall , handsome everything. And the little junior was also cute . Whenever I saw them in the screen I felt like " yes now some pleasure moment for me " ... Whenever warang came to the screen she gave some mature lines which is nice then the main leads who had lack of communication skills. Supportive leads: 6/10 the glasses one who was the friend I liked her as well . Other than her everyone needs to improve their skills . Male actors were pretty nice but still Storytelling: 5/10 wtf !!! Pretty lame ... it's no doubt a good story but too stressful sometimes. How everyone is so into male leads . Everyone wants them to become their gfs ... just too much ... they didn't let me forget the series. " SHOW ME LOVE " how they messed with those characters, Storytelling etc ... they know how to ruin a good show ... it felt like a normal yt show made by normal people... bruhh it's a big show make it I catching and tempting ... but naahh the directors were sleeping maybe Theme : 4/10 ... My question is where are the teachers!??? It's based on university or school maybe ... so where's the teachers? There was not a single teacher in the university dudee ... and the seniors acted like teachers, done everything by themselves etc . No classes at all . And also rarely saw their parents. Even when warang got a accident as well . Also how the main lead forgot all her memory after accident, then the male proposed her , he acted like a boyfriend all were too much for me . Cinemagraphy : 3/10 ... they need to learn from BLANK or maybe from SECRET OF US (trailer was pretty eye catchy) both series has had impressive angles , cinemagraphy and fabulous actress. Atleast BLANK . The show felt like a cheap yt video by normal makers Second leads time: 2/10 ... I am asking where is my fav couples time !? They are Second leads u should respect them as well and give them more time . I rarely see them together!!? Maybe they had like 23min in the whole series . The story only revolves around the main lead being dumb , crying...
And why literally why everyone were into main leads !!? It doesn't make sense at all . And why I felt like their relationship was kinda toxic !!!
Conclusion: I don't hate any gl series or gl related stuffs so I don't hate it either. It's just I don't like it . Plzz tell me 23.5 is better then this because I have high hope for the series and will watch it after it finishes its 12 parts . I want second leads to have thier own series . YES don't hate me for giving little numbers . 🥹
2024.05.15 04:51 ThrowRAtrashpandaa Am I (26F) overreacting by breaking up with my bf (29M) for dozing off during virtual dates?
I (26F) have (had?) a boyfriend (29M) for 15 months, long distance for the last 6 months.
He works 9-5 pm, I work 1-9 pm. We try to plan virtual dates every week, usually watching a movie together or playing a game together, while texting/facetiming.
Initially, I would schedule them for 11 pm, so that I had time for dinnechores after work, and he agreed. But he would never be punctual. Sometimes his laptop would be dead, or he couldn't find the charger, or his mom calls, or he gets a work call. All understandable.
He eventually joins the game/movie, and we get on with it having fun, texting about the movie and all. Within half an hour, I notice him not responding to my texts, even when i pause the movie (it pauses for him too). Clearly, he has dozed off. I try to call him on all apps, but I guess he keeps his phone on silent. I usually wait for 30-45 mins, continue watching the movie, hoping he wakes up. But nothing.
Eventually I give up, shut everything down. I know it's not really his fault, but I feel very lonely and sad, cuz I didn't get to talk to him about my day (but he gets to, cuz we talk during my break around 5pm).
The next morning (I wake up much later than him), there's always a slew of texts apologising to me, and how he's beating himself up for dozing off, and it won't happen again.
This was fine a few times. Cute, even. Our working hours are quite different, and I sleep much later than him. He's dozed off on FaceTime with me before too.
I also understand that some people just aren't as anal about routines/time as me.
To improve the situation, I asked him to "prepare" his laptop and shit in advance, so that there's no delays (to no avail).
I started scheduling these dates at 9 pm, right after I got done with work. This meant that I had to delay my dinner and chores, but it's okay I like spending time with him. But he'd never actually be ready at 9 pm.
I even started calling him to remind him about the date 30 mins prior and to get his things sorted. But there's always something with him.
This happened almost every date night for the last 3 months. I stopped planning dates, so he got mad at me saying I'm trying to make him feel bad for something he can't control. I'm not, I'm just sick of wasting my time watching 45 mins of movies/games. I'm sick of feeling so hollow and sad when i realise that he's dozed off once again. It hurts that i so willingly move my schedule around for him, but he can't do anything on time for me. So I broke it off.
He keeps saying that I'm punishing him for "just dozing off", and is very angry with my decision. I've tried talking it out, telling him how i feel, and he says he understands but he can't seem to help it. Bc
submitted by ThrowRAtrashpandaa to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
He works 9-5 pm, I work 1-9 pm. We try to plan virtual dates every week, usually watching a movie together or playing a game together, while texting/facetiming.
Initially, I would schedule them for 11 pm, so that I had time for dinnechores after work, and he agreed. But he would never be punctual. Sometimes his laptop would be dead, or he couldn't find the charger, or his mom calls, or he gets a work call. All understandable.
He eventually joins the game/movie, and we get on with it having fun, texting about the movie and all. Within half an hour, I notice him not responding to my texts, even when i pause the movie (it pauses for him too). Clearly, he has dozed off. I try to call him on all apps, but I guess he keeps his phone on silent. I usually wait for 30-45 mins, continue watching the movie, hoping he wakes up. But nothing.
Eventually I give up, shut everything down. I know it's not really his fault, but I feel very lonely and sad, cuz I didn't get to talk to him about my day (but he gets to, cuz we talk during my break around 5pm).
The next morning (I wake up much later than him), there's always a slew of texts apologising to me, and how he's beating himself up for dozing off, and it won't happen again.
This was fine a few times. Cute, even. Our working hours are quite different, and I sleep much later than him. He's dozed off on FaceTime with me before too.
I also understand that some people just aren't as anal about routines/time as me.
To improve the situation, I asked him to "prepare" his laptop and shit in advance, so that there's no delays (to no avail).
I started scheduling these dates at 9 pm, right after I got done with work. This meant that I had to delay my dinner and chores, but it's okay I like spending time with him. But he'd never actually be ready at 9 pm.
I even started calling him to remind him about the date 30 mins prior and to get his things sorted. But there's always something with him.
This happened almost every date night for the last 3 months. I stopped planning dates, so he got mad at me saying I'm trying to make him feel bad for something he can't control. I'm not, I'm just sick of wasting my time watching 45 mins of movies/games. I'm sick of feeling so hollow and sad when i realise that he's dozed off once again. It hurts that i so willingly move my schedule around for him, but he can't do anything on time for me. So I broke it off.
He keeps saying that I'm punishing him for "just dozing off", and is very angry with my decision. I've tried talking it out, telling him how i feel, and he says he understands but he can't seem to help it. Bc
2024.05.15 04:44 n0t-mylk Fighting and growing in a relationship
I love my boyfriend. Although we started a bit rocky, I think we were able to build a stronger foundation. ** still building. I am a hopeless romantic and I had this idea that a perfect relationship means there is no fighting, that I always get my way. (For context, I only had one relationship before him so my experience in that area is really lacking.) Well, this current relationship is far from my ideal relationship. But it is real. There were fights that made me break it off, because leaving was easier at that time. But I believe I had valid reasons to leave at the start of our dating phase. Mej malabo kung saan papunta yung thing namin eh. But he continued to pursue me so that's that.
I had this mentality that a relationship with fights is not worth having. I was wrong. Through our fights, I got to learn how to understand another person. I learned how to let go of anger because the love I have for my partner is greater. He isn't perfect. I am not perfect. Our relationship isn't perfect but it's something that we have to consciously build. And I get to see the different sides of myself, of my partner. No matter how ugly our fights get, we get to fix it afterwards. We learned how to handle each other. It's amusing for me na parang may level up and skill upgrade kami/ or ako after every fight.
I'm so used to getting my way from my family and friends that having someone deny me (sa mga petty stuff lang naman) has taught me that I need to be mentally stronger and be more mature in handling rejections. I sound spoiled noh but that's because I really do receive a lot of love++++ from my family and friends. hehe But anyway, being with my boyfriend taught me that a relationship can be stronger when we learn to give way, adjust. I appreciate him so much for making me realize all these things. cute pa niya huhu
submitted by n0t-mylk to adultingph [link] [comments]
I had this mentality that a relationship with fights is not worth having. I was wrong. Through our fights, I got to learn how to understand another person. I learned how to let go of anger because the love I have for my partner is greater. He isn't perfect. I am not perfect. Our relationship isn't perfect but it's something that we have to consciously build. And I get to see the different sides of myself, of my partner. No matter how ugly our fights get, we get to fix it afterwards. We learned how to handle each other. It's amusing for me na parang may level up and skill upgrade kami/ or ako after every fight.
I'm so used to getting my way from my family and friends that having someone deny me (sa mga petty stuff lang naman) has taught me that I need to be mentally stronger and be more mature in handling rejections. I sound spoiled noh but that's because I really do receive a lot of love++++ from my family and friends. hehe But anyway, being with my boyfriend taught me that a relationship can be stronger when we learn to give way, adjust. I appreciate him so much for making me realize all these things. cute pa niya huhu
2024.05.15 04:26 quac-quac My ‘23F’ boyfriend ‘22M’ left me behind on a walk. What do I do next?
Hi everyone. My ‘23F’ boyfriend ‘22M’ and I have been together for about 10 months. We’ve had our ups and downs, but it’s been going well.
Yesterday we were out on a walk and being playful. I ran away at some point for about 10 seconds and he ran away behind and hugged me, it was all very cute.
But later on during the walk, he did the same thing and I guess expected me to run behind him. I didn’t, as I was very tired by this point and just kept walking. However, this is the part where it gets really confusing for me.
He didn’t stop to wait for me, just stopped running and kept on walking. I didn’t even see him turn back to look at where I’m at. He kept walking for 10 more minutes, and eventually got out of view from me as it was very dark. I called him twice during this time and texted him, but he only noticed after the 10 minutes when he eventually stopped to wait for me.
I was really confused and asked him why, and he said that he thought I would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. This made no sense to me, we have never been in a situation where I’ve acted like that. He eventually explained to me that he’s been feeling really insecure, and got defensive and decided not to wait for me when I didn’t run behind him. He eventually apologised and sees that I was feeling hurt and confused by this whole thing.
I’m just super confused and have asked to have space today. How do I deal with this? This whole situation was really immature and was our first fight, he has never done anything like this before. I dont feel like I’ve done anything wrong, and I’m not sure what to do next. I know that we should deal with our big problem, ie his lack in confidence, but he has said that I can’t help how he feels with anything I can say. This is all just very confusing to me.
TLDR: my boyfriend left me behind during our walk, because he thought I would have done the same thing. He eventually confessed that he’s been feeling insecure and got defensive. I’m not sure how to deal with this.
submitted by quac-quac to relationship_advice [link] [comments]
Yesterday we were out on a walk and being playful. I ran away at some point for about 10 seconds and he ran away behind and hugged me, it was all very cute.
But later on during the walk, he did the same thing and I guess expected me to run behind him. I didn’t, as I was very tired by this point and just kept walking. However, this is the part where it gets really confusing for me.
He didn’t stop to wait for me, just stopped running and kept on walking. I didn’t even see him turn back to look at where I’m at. He kept walking for 10 more minutes, and eventually got out of view from me as it was very dark. I called him twice during this time and texted him, but he only noticed after the 10 minutes when he eventually stopped to wait for me.
I was really confused and asked him why, and he said that he thought I would have done the same thing if the roles were reversed. This made no sense to me, we have never been in a situation where I’ve acted like that. He eventually explained to me that he’s been feeling really insecure, and got defensive and decided not to wait for me when I didn’t run behind him. He eventually apologised and sees that I was feeling hurt and confused by this whole thing.
I’m just super confused and have asked to have space today. How do I deal with this? This whole situation was really immature and was our first fight, he has never done anything like this before. I dont feel like I’ve done anything wrong, and I’m not sure what to do next. I know that we should deal with our big problem, ie his lack in confidence, but he has said that I can’t help how he feels with anything I can say. This is all just very confusing to me.
TLDR: my boyfriend left me behind during our walk, because he thought I would have done the same thing. He eventually confessed that he’s been feeling insecure and got defensive. I’m not sure how to deal with this.
2024.05.15 03:43 Few-Courage-3401 My gay friend told me I'm "hiding my inner femininity"
I'm 25yr old gay man who is pretty secure about my sexuality. I am versatile, my preference changes based on my partner - I am attracted to both masculine top and cute bottom. And I have this gay friend who tells me I'm actually just a bottom and that I'm in denial of my true self.
My friend is femme, though not too blatant, and seems to think that all gay has that flamboyant side. For some context - I met this friend on Tinder. I normally don't look for just friends on dating app, but I wanted to befriend other closeted gays, so we just hung out as friends. He is cute, and at first I had a bit of a crush on him but I don't anymore. So occasionally I share my dating stories with him, and his reactions annoy me all the time. When I'm dating a masculine top he's like "oh now youre finally admitting your inner bottom" - and when im dating a bottom he tells me I'm pretending to be masculine.
I wouldn't describe myself as masculine, since I don't have that manly physique (I'm lean) and macho personalities etc. But I also don't have the feminine qualities - like the hand gesture, high voice tone, stuff like that. I am sure about this because whenever I come out to my close friends they tell me they didn't know, they kinda always thought I had a secret girlfriend (mostly because I have mang girl-friends) I am sensitive though - I like reading romance novels, i listen to mellow pop like jeremy zucker and stuff, and I go along well with women because I have an older sister. I never really thought about labeling myself as either masculine or feminine but my friend is making me rethink if I'm just shy to show my inner gayness. I'm conflicted because I do hide some part of me because I'm closeted, and I tend to get more touchy and younger-brother-y when I'm in my close friends group. When I asked my current boyfriend (who is masculine top who occassionally watches ru paul's drag race btw) he said I'm boyish, which I kinda agree. Any opinions?
submitted by Few-Courage-3401 to askgaybros [link] [comments]
My friend is femme, though not too blatant, and seems to think that all gay has that flamboyant side. For some context - I met this friend on Tinder. I normally don't look for just friends on dating app, but I wanted to befriend other closeted gays, so we just hung out as friends. He is cute, and at first I had a bit of a crush on him but I don't anymore. So occasionally I share my dating stories with him, and his reactions annoy me all the time. When I'm dating a masculine top he's like "oh now youre finally admitting your inner bottom" - and when im dating a bottom he tells me I'm pretending to be masculine.
I wouldn't describe myself as masculine, since I don't have that manly physique (I'm lean) and macho personalities etc. But I also don't have the feminine qualities - like the hand gesture, high voice tone, stuff like that. I am sure about this because whenever I come out to my close friends they tell me they didn't know, they kinda always thought I had a secret girlfriend (mostly because I have mang girl-friends) I am sensitive though - I like reading romance novels, i listen to mellow pop like jeremy zucker and stuff, and I go along well with women because I have an older sister. I never really thought about labeling myself as either masculine or feminine but my friend is making me rethink if I'm just shy to show my inner gayness. I'm conflicted because I do hide some part of me because I'm closeted, and I tend to get more touchy and younger-brother-y when I'm in my close friends group. When I asked my current boyfriend (who is masculine top who occassionally watches ru paul's drag race btw) he said I'm boyish, which I kinda agree. Any opinions?
2024.05.15 03:12 ByMyDecree Reviewing and Ranking Every Battle: James Bond vs. Austin Powers
Tier List: https://imgur.com/a/WcUX9AP
Good gravy, these visuals. This is the most visual flair they've ever had in a battle up until this point. More on the particulars later. Unfortunately the music is comparatively pretty weak and unmemorable, with the notable exception of the track that plays during Austin Powers' bits.
So, Daniel Craig Bond's first verse. "[insert Bond villains here] were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are." that's a decent burn, but man, I always feel bad for Austin Powers when Bond says this. Powers looks genuinely hurt, quit bullying Powers, Craig Bond! "I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot; Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!" Intellectually I acknowledge that there is some somewhat clever wordplay going on here, but I can't say I particularly care for these lines. The "I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!" is an alright diss I guess. The lines comparing their filmography and tying in You Only Live Twice into the diss... I dunno, something feels so rote and lifeless about this burn. It's competent, but it's not doing much for me. The best part of this verse is easily the "B on D/beyond me" diss, fun wordsmithing there. The closer is competent, reference to Golden Gun, sure, that's fine, but I ain't writing home about it. I'll go into more detail about this towards the end, but I'm not a fan of this verse, I think Craig Bond as a rapper is a fairly bland character and that the background visuals are having to compensate hard for his lifelessness.
Austin Powers opens his verse by acknowledging that he has been catfished by Craig Bond, which I think is a ton of fun. The visual of Austin Powers splitting into rainbow versions of himself as his track with the horns starts blaring is just fantastic. "Basil Exposition told me this would be boring; but Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!" This isn't a particularly clever line or a powerful diss, mostly seems like an excuse to drop a couple references, but I'm in full agreement with Austin Powers here. Craig Bond's performance was boring. Austin Powers proceeds to mock Craig Bond for his hairless body, contrasting it with his own glorious chest bush. I love how much confidence Austin has in his sexiness despite not being the least bit conventionally attractive. I also love this set with Austin, his buddy, and these women all rocking out. The computer-generated visuals of Craig Bond's backgrounds are impressive, sure, but actually having this wacky set made for the battle really elevates it to a new level in terms of presentation. And all these close-ups of Austin's eyes, mouth, and ass getting slapped... much more flair than their usual fare. Austin Powers threatens to hypnotize Craig Bond with a strip tease and I just... look, I'm not saying these are great lines, on paper Austin does not have the strongest disses, but this verse is just so FUN. The dancing and choreography with Austin's visuals are top-notch, love him slapping his ass on the spinning bed. "You're defenseless, my rhymes can't be deflected, you're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!" is genuinely hilarious. "People want a hero with a little personality; no one wants to sit through your gritty reality" is definitely encapsulating the vibe I feel on the question of James Bond vs. Austin Powers. Powers then goes in for a nice blow with the line about them making Thunderball twice. "I'm one of a kind, you're always getting remade" goes hard, even harder nowadays than it did back when this was made. "You can't touch me, double oh behave" is a cute reference, but it's not anything more than that, same tier of verse closer as Craig Bond's.
Then we have the misfortune of returning to Craig Bond's gritty reality. "I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown, I should... be on an island with a fucking model by now" is really weak. It feels ad-libbed. You're not too cool for this rap battle Craig Bond, you're actually not nearly cool enough. Craig throws in a reference to the penis pumping joke from Austin Powers, we get a little failed interjection from Powers, and that's fun. Craig Bond does get a strong blow in with "but I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics"; a powerful argument that you can't take away from Craig Bond.
Until Sean Bond comes in and takes that away from Craig Bond with a cheeky "I wouldn't exactly call you original". Good stuff. The BDSM joke is whatever. "Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken" is an amusing reference to his famous quote, maybe a little obvious and corny, but what really helps sell it is the way it segueways into "if I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken". Fun! "I don't need a Q to break your balls" is some good wordplay. I remember watching this with my family years ago, and my father groaned at Bond's closing Gold Bond joke and said "That's terrible." and... yeah, I kind of have to agree. It's a good jab and the wordplay isn't without its wit, but there's something so goddamned cheesy about it. Can't help but roll my eyes when he smugly looks at the camera and says 'Gold Bond'. It's the phrasing and line delivery, I think. This joke might have landed better if they refrained from trying to tie it into that famous quote.
Austin Powers makes a valiant effort to get back in the battle, but gets bitch slapped for his troubles.
There's something so... for lack of a better term... beta about the way Craig Bond comes in and touches Sean Bond's arm to get his attention. "The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists" is accurate, albeit not the most clever.
Austin Powers shows Craig Bond up by carrying that line of argumentation further with an amusing bit about Sean Bond being a rapist. I love how uncomfortable Austin Powers seems.
"If they made a mini-me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage"... that's so lame, guys. Come on.
"Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English" winds up seeming like way stronger of a burn than it is for the fact that Sean Bond takes so much offense to it he feels the need to slap Craig Bond hard for it. Austin's awed reaction in the background is quite funny.
"Why, Pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?" Har har har.
I like the way Craig Bond takes Sean Bond's wordplay and uses it to mount a counteroffensive, he delivers a couple real solid lines here.
Sean Bond's closer is pretty unremarkable. I guess I could charitably consider it to be of the same caliber as the closers for Craig Bond's and Powers' first verse closers, a cute little reference but nothing more. Austin Powers continues to be the best part of the battle as he rises up into the frame, enamored with his opponents.
Alright, so... I think Craig Bond gives one of the dullest and most unmemorable performances in ERB history. For one thing, his face is just not very expressive here; it's like he constantly has one facial expression. Even when his face is contorting a bit to try and express anger he still looks the same. I don't know to what extent that's just the actor's physical appearance, or if it's a deliberate choice as part of the Craig Bond persona, or what, but watching him perform feels like watching a flat line. It doesn't help that he just looks like some guy. Austin Powers and Sean Bond have very distinct and flashy appearances, but with Craig Bond it looks like they just brought in some random guy off the street and gave him a suit. Maybe that's accurate to Daniel Craig's Bond, but it's a problem for this rap battle regardless. This guy is so nondescript he's regularly getting upstaged by his backgrounds. Another issue I have with this battle is that it clearly does not respect the existence of Austin Powers as a rapper. I could be misremembering, but I believe I've heard that the creators said they didn't like the idea of a parody rapping against the character they're based on, and that this one ultimately got made because they could turn it into a Bond v. Bond battle. Personally I think the idea of having a parody go up against the original is vastly more interesting of a matchup and that Bond v. Bond is the thing that isn't really worth doing. I'd rather this have just been a battle between Austin Powers on one side with two verses and one or both of the Bonds on the other. I also want to say that this is one of the best and most un-NicePeter performances Peter has ever given; I had to go on the wiki and double-check to make sure Peter actually played him. I think Peter has an issue with a lot of his characters sounding same-y, but this sounds nothing like him. It doesn't look like him either; it's not just that the costuming is great, the dancing and mannerisms are real different from Peter's usual stuff. Just look at that pose he strikes on the right at 1:13. So good. One of Peter's best characters.
Anyhoo... I'd put this battle in B Tier, below Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters but above Robocop vs. Terminator. The Craig and Sean Bonds have their moments, but their parts greatly pale in comparison to Austin Powers... but even then, Austin Powers' verse isn't that great, it's more supremely entertaining than expertly written. It shapes out to being a solid battle that still leaves a lot to be desired.
I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm saying Austin Powers>Sean Bond>Craig Bond. Austin Powers is the entire reason I revisit this battle.
submitted by ByMyDecree to ERB [link] [comments]
Good gravy, these visuals. This is the most visual flair they've ever had in a battle up until this point. More on the particulars later. Unfortunately the music is comparatively pretty weak and unmemorable, with the notable exception of the track that plays during Austin Powers' bits.
So, Daniel Craig Bond's first verse. "[insert Bond villains here] were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are." that's a decent burn, but man, I always feel bad for Austin Powers when Bond says this. Powers looks genuinely hurt, quit bullying Powers, Craig Bond! "I'll go balls to the Walther on this wack twat in an ascot; Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot!" Intellectually I acknowledge that there is some somewhat clever wordplay going on here, but I can't say I particularly care for these lines. The "I'm licensed to kill; you couldn't get a learner's permit!" is an alright diss I guess. The lines comparing their filmography and tying in You Only Live Twice into the diss... I dunno, something feels so rote and lifeless about this burn. It's competent, but it's not doing much for me. The best part of this verse is easily the "B on D/beyond me" diss, fun wordsmithing there. The closer is competent, reference to Golden Gun, sure, that's fine, but I ain't writing home about it. I'll go into more detail about this towards the end, but I'm not a fan of this verse, I think Craig Bond as a rapper is a fairly bland character and that the background visuals are having to compensate hard for his lifelessness.
Austin Powers opens his verse by acknowledging that he has been catfished by Craig Bond, which I think is a ton of fun. The visual of Austin Powers splitting into rainbow versions of himself as his track with the horns starts blaring is just fantastic. "Basil Exposition told me this would be boring; but Jesus, man, even my mojo's snoring!" This isn't a particularly clever line or a powerful diss, mostly seems like an excuse to drop a couple references, but I'm in full agreement with Austin Powers here. Craig Bond's performance was boring. Austin Powers proceeds to mock Craig Bond for his hairless body, contrasting it with his own glorious chest bush. I love how much confidence Austin has in his sexiness despite not being the least bit conventionally attractive. I also love this set with Austin, his buddy, and these women all rocking out. The computer-generated visuals of Craig Bond's backgrounds are impressive, sure, but actually having this wacky set made for the battle really elevates it to a new level in terms of presentation. And all these close-ups of Austin's eyes, mouth, and ass getting slapped... much more flair than their usual fare. Austin Powers threatens to hypnotize Craig Bond with a strip tease and I just... look, I'm not saying these are great lines, on paper Austin does not have the strongest disses, but this verse is just so FUN. The dancing and choreography with Austin's visuals are top-notch, love him slapping his ass on the spinning bed. "You're defenseless, my rhymes can't be deflected, you're like all the sex I've ever had: unprotected!" is genuinely hilarious. "People want a hero with a little personality; no one wants to sit through your gritty reality" is definitely encapsulating the vibe I feel on the question of James Bond vs. Austin Powers. Powers then goes in for a nice blow with the line about them making Thunderball twice. "I'm one of a kind, you're always getting remade" goes hard, even harder nowadays than it did back when this was made. "You can't touch me, double oh behave" is a cute reference, but it's not anything more than that, same tier of verse closer as Craig Bond's.
Then we have the misfortune of returning to Craig Bond's gritty reality. "I can't believe I'm wasting my time with this clown, I should... be on an island with a fucking model by now" is really weak. It feels ad-libbed. You're not too cool for this rap battle Craig Bond, you're actually not nearly cool enough. Craig throws in a reference to the penis pumping joke from Austin Powers, we get a little failed interjection from Powers, and that's fun. Craig Bond does get a strong blow in with "but I'm the original model that your frilly ass mimics"; a powerful argument that you can't take away from Craig Bond.
Until Sean Bond comes in and takes that away from Craig Bond with a cheeky "I wouldn't exactly call you original". Good stuff. The BDSM joke is whatever. "Your performance doesn't stir me and I'm certainly not shaken" is an amusing reference to his famous quote, maybe a little obvious and corny, but what really helps sell it is the way it segueways into "if I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I'd go and watch Taken". Fun! "I don't need a Q to break your balls" is some good wordplay. I remember watching this with my family years ago, and my father groaned at Bond's closing Gold Bond joke and said "That's terrible." and... yeah, I kind of have to agree. It's a good jab and the wordplay isn't without its wit, but there's something so goddamned cheesy about it. Can't help but roll my eyes when he smugly looks at the camera and says 'Gold Bond'. It's the phrasing and line delivery, I think. This joke might have landed better if they refrained from trying to tie it into that famous quote.
Austin Powers makes a valiant effort to get back in the battle, but gets bitch slapped for his troubles.
There's something so... for lack of a better term... beta about the way Craig Bond comes in and touches Sean Bond's arm to get his attention. "The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists" is accurate, albeit not the most clever.
Austin Powers shows Craig Bond up by carrying that line of argumentation further with an amusing bit about Sean Bond being a rapist. I love how uncomfortable Austin Powers seems.
"If they made a mini-me they'd have to cast Peter Dinklage"... that's so lame, guys. Come on.
"Or maybe they should cast a Bond who's actually English" winds up seeming like way stronger of a burn than it is for the fact that Sean Bond takes so much offense to it he feels the need to slap Craig Bond hard for it. Austin's awed reaction in the background is quite funny.
"Why, Pussy, aren't you the cunning linguist?" Har har har.
I like the way Craig Bond takes Sean Bond's wordplay and uses it to mount a counteroffensive, he delivers a couple real solid lines here.
Sean Bond's closer is pretty unremarkable. I guess I could charitably consider it to be of the same caliber as the closers for Craig Bond's and Powers' first verse closers, a cute little reference but nothing more. Austin Powers continues to be the best part of the battle as he rises up into the frame, enamored with his opponents.
Alright, so... I think Craig Bond gives one of the dullest and most unmemorable performances in ERB history. For one thing, his face is just not very expressive here; it's like he constantly has one facial expression. Even when his face is contorting a bit to try and express anger he still looks the same. I don't know to what extent that's just the actor's physical appearance, or if it's a deliberate choice as part of the Craig Bond persona, or what, but watching him perform feels like watching a flat line. It doesn't help that he just looks like some guy. Austin Powers and Sean Bond have very distinct and flashy appearances, but with Craig Bond it looks like they just brought in some random guy off the street and gave him a suit. Maybe that's accurate to Daniel Craig's Bond, but it's a problem for this rap battle regardless. This guy is so nondescript he's regularly getting upstaged by his backgrounds. Another issue I have with this battle is that it clearly does not respect the existence of Austin Powers as a rapper. I could be misremembering, but I believe I've heard that the creators said they didn't like the idea of a parody rapping against the character they're based on, and that this one ultimately got made because they could turn it into a Bond v. Bond battle. Personally I think the idea of having a parody go up against the original is vastly more interesting of a matchup and that Bond v. Bond is the thing that isn't really worth doing. I'd rather this have just been a battle between Austin Powers on one side with two verses and one or both of the Bonds on the other. I also want to say that this is one of the best and most un-NicePeter performances Peter has ever given; I had to go on the wiki and double-check to make sure Peter actually played him. I think Peter has an issue with a lot of his characters sounding same-y, but this sounds nothing like him. It doesn't look like him either; it's not just that the costuming is great, the dancing and mannerisms are real different from Peter's usual stuff. Just look at that pose he strikes on the right at 1:13. So good. One of Peter's best characters.
Anyhoo... I'd put this battle in B Tier, below Ghostbusters vs. Mythbusters but above Robocop vs. Terminator. The Craig and Sean Bonds have their moments, but their parts greatly pale in comparison to Austin Powers... but even then, Austin Powers' verse isn't that great, it's more supremely entertaining than expertly written. It shapes out to being a solid battle that still leaves a lot to be desired.
I don't care what anyone thinks, I'm saying Austin Powers>Sean Bond>Craig Bond. Austin Powers is the entire reason I revisit this battle.
2024.05.15 03:12 Ur_Anemone Meet The TikTok Love Detectives
 | These TikTokers have reinvented the ‘honey trap’ with online loyalty tests – and now they’re going viral submitted by Ur_Anemone to afterAWDTSG [link] [comments] Have you ever had the suspicion that your partner might be cheating on you? Traditionally, when alarm bells ring, you might try to sneak a peek at your partner’s phone or enlist the help of a sleuthing acquaintance. But now, thanks to TikTok, there’s an online service for that. Introducing ‘loyalty tests’: where suspicious clients call on the help of TikTok or Instagram love detectives to see if their partners cheat when approached on social media. As part of the test, the sleuther will flirt with the partner and then provide any evidence of cheating to their client, as well as posting the entire ordeal on TikTok (with names and identity obscured). Think of it as modern-day honey trapping, repurposed for the social media age. And its big business: the hashtag #loyaltytest has 3.6 billion views on TikTok, while #loyaltycheck has amassed 557 million. As loyalty testers boom in popularity, more creators have started charging for their services to cope with demand – with some earning up to £1,500 a week. Brookelyn and her partner Emre, both 18 and from the US, have run a loyalty testing service on their TikTok and Instagram for around a year, and charge an initial fee of $15 (£12) – they are currently making around $700 (£554) a week. On a ‘good week’ Emre estimates they get around 100 requests, and they are even working on developing an app to keep up with demand. ‘I chat with the girl [almost all their clients are female] and give her some details and then we start the test,’ says Brookelyn. ‘How long the test takes depends on when [their partner] replies... sometimes it can be a week or even a month. I’m constantly updating [the client] through the process, and Emre is also logged into the account so we can manage it at the same time.’ All the tests then follow a similar formula, with extra charges if the client wants more details. ‘I’ll say, “Hey, you’re cute, where are you from, are you single?” with some small talk thrown in – those cost $15,’ Brookelyn says. ‘If they want to keep it going, I charge another $15, so it’s $30 for all-in tests, which will be a longer, more genuine conversation between me and the guy.’ These all-in tests have even led to Brookelyn scheduling ‘meetings’ with some of the cheating partners, but only so the girlfriend can confront them at the other end. ‘I always block the guy when I know the girlfriend’s about to confront, because I don’t want to get any bad messages,’ she adds. Emre says that boyfriends have even rung them when they are speaking on iMessage. ‘Sometimes, we use the merging button to merge the girl and the guy in together while Brookelyn talks to them, so the girl can hear live what the guy says,’ he explains. ‘Since it’s not on a message, they talk freely. They will totally be like, “I have a girlfriend, maybe we can meet up on the side,” while their girlfriend is on the call,’ Brookelyn explains. Becca Moore, 25, is a content creator living in the US, who started doing loyalty tests in lockdown. She now has 1.3 million followers on TikTok, and 236,000 on Instagram. Before even hearing about the trend, she says a girl messaged her ‘organically’ asking if she could reach out to her boyfriend because he ‘liked blonde girls’ and she looked like his type. ‘I never even planned to make a video about it until someone commented and said, “You should do this thing called a loyalty test.” I didn’t even know there was a name for it. I started doing them for content online and it blew up – it was crazy,’ she says. At her peak, Becca was doing around 10 loyalty tests a day and was getting messages for hundreds more. She says she didn’t charge for her tests because she used the videos for content, with names and identities redacted. ‘Usually, the girl would tell me what would work on her boyfriend,’ she says. She would only test people who had no ‘baggage in the relationship’, such as marriage, children or a shared living situation, she explains, and always kept in mind that she was doing it ‘for the girls’. While hiring someone else to uncover infidelity might sound extreme, there’s always been a market for private investigators to snoop for scorned lovers. This is just how it’s done in the TikTok age. However, it has always raised somewhat of an ethical question and, with technology and the sharing of private messages involved with this, it’s arguably more complicated now. 'The ethics are murky,’ explains Dr Julia Carter, senior lecturer in sociology, specialising in marriage and relationships, at UWE Bristol. ‘But the history of honey- trapping goes back a long way and is not a new invention with social media. Therefore, ethically, I wonder if it is very different from enlisting an IRL detective to uncover infidelity. Nevertheless, since social media allows and enables a more public invasion of privacy as well as communication and connectedness, we are still in the process of working out where our moral and ethical boundaries fit with its use.’ For many of the creators, the worst part is having to tell the person that their partner is cheating. ‘It’s so terrible – it makes you feel a bit guilty and you have thoughts like, “What if they were happy before?”, says Becca. ‘I calmed myself by thinking, “If they were happy before, they wouldn’t be coming to me for loyalty tests.”’ Becca hasn’t done a loyalty test for two years because, as she gained more followers, it became harder to test people as they would research her. ‘It was also making me really mistrust men, so I took a break,’ she adds. Brookelyn and Emre estimate that the ‘cheat rate’ for their tests tends to be about 60%. Since Brookelyn ‘connects’ with many of her clients, she agrees that telling them the result can be tricky. ‘They usually feel shame and a lot of the time they don’t tell anyone, even their friends, that they are doing a test on their boyfriend, so I’m the only person they’re talking to,’ she says. So how can you avoid ending up in a messy situation that could see you hiring a love detective? Relationship expert Sarah Louise Ryan says it’s important to define your boundaries early on in a relationship. ‘Some people think that cheating is chatting to someone else, some think it’s kissing, and many think it’s penetrative sex. Some think having an emotional affair that has no sexual intimacy is also cheating,’ she says. Wherever your boundaries lie, if you suspect your partner of crossing them, for better or for worse, discovering the truth is only a few clicks away. |
2024.05.15 01:36 IndependenceSalty83 I’m (23F) scared to end things after 6yrs with my BF (25M)
TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
submitted by IndependenceSalty83 to relationships_advice [link] [comments]
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
2024.05.15 01:32 IndependenceSalty83 I’m (23F) scared to end things after 6yrs with my BF (25M)
TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
submitted by IndependenceSalty83 to BreakUps [link] [comments]
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
2024.05.15 01:29 IndependenceSalty83 I’m (23F) scared to end things after 6yrs with my BF (25M)
TLDR: Im scared to make the jump of ending things. I love him but I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore. Im scared it’s the wrong decision. Im scared to start over. Im worried financially. Im worried about our pets.
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
submitted by IndependenceSalty83 to offmychest [link] [comments]
If you can do math I’m sure you can see that my boyfriend and I started dating pretty young, if anything I’d say he is my first love. I thought he was my true love. Backstory: We moved in together after about 7mo of dating (with roommates) then a few months later just the two of us. Things were great, we were working on our careers and got two dogs. It felt like we had a little family and happy life. Fast forward three years: we go on a trip with his family. His dad flips his shit on us about finances in an airport but is primarily yelling at me because my partner was being submissive and not questioning or trying to discuss this with his dad. His dad also brought our relationship into his yelling, saying things like I don’t make my BF happy, he doesn’t support our relationship. It was really shocking and “random” for me to see this display. It honestly sent me into a depression to be broken down like that publicly, with no warning, by my boyfriend’s dad and him not even sticking up for me or our relationship. My bf telling me the entire trip home and at home that that’s how his dad is, that he’s sorry, and he doesn’t know why his dad said those things. That he’s happy with me. Three months later I catch him texting other girls talking about meeting up. I already had a girls trip planned coming up and told him I needed time to sort through all of this given that I feel like I was dealt blow after blow. I came back from the trip and we talked about it more, I asked numerous times if there’s something I’m not doing right or if I do truly make him unhappy. He denies, says that he doesn’t know why he reached out to other women and that it was a stupid mistake that will never happen again. Of course for awhile I was on edge and wary but I loved him and wanted to make this work. A few more months later I was trying to find a tattoo artist he follows and showed me on instagram. But instead I found him following a lot of explicit female pages. I told him that this made me uncomfortable especially given our recent issues and set a boundary to not continue following/looking at these women. For the past year I feel as though things have been good and my trust is back for him. Here’s the but: 1) I don’t feel like I enjoy his conversation anymore or it’s gotten less. I feel like I have to initiate every conversation, find things to talk about. 2) I feel like I almost have to mom him or be his parent. Having to help him file his taxes, figure out his car insurance, his doctors appointments, cleaning etc. 3) He’s not romantic. We’ve had numerous conversations about how I want to surprise occasionally, I want him to do something romantic for me. I’ve quite literally almost begged him to. He always says he’ll try harder and he’s sorry. I know everyone has different love languages giving and receiving but I feel as though we’ve both communicated ours and it’s feeling one sided. Some anniversaries or valentines we took it easy and just did a cute dinner together. Some I planned trips for us. One year I did a surprise beach trip. For our 5yr anniversary I did a spa resort since neither of us had gone and well it’s our big 5 year anniversary! I don’t want to degrade him and say he’s never done anything for me but I just don’t feel like we’re on the same level. We just got back from a week long trip to the PNW we’ve been wanting to do for years. He didn’t put any effort into planning so I made the entire itinerary including finding where to eat at during the trip. I feel like this trip really snapped for me. Our 6yr anniversary is next month and I almost want to just not bother and see what he does, if anything. I know I shouldn’t expect things but I thought he was going to propose during our 5yr anniversary because he occasionally would ask what kind of wedding rings I liked. When he didn’t, I thought maybe he was waiting for a romantic trip like the PNW since we always talk about where we would and wouldn’t want to be proposed at. He didn’t. I know it sound silly to expect a ring when I’m sitting here questioning staying with him. Because I’m usually a logically person and clearly a planner and mentally made a pros and cons list.. and the reasons I kept coming back to for not leaving him is 1) we have long history together 2) I love him and I don’t want to hurt him 3) the stress of having to decide moving out and furniture 4) we have two dogs together 5) financially 6) I’m scared to start over.
2024.05.15 01:28 InternationalYam4461 AITAH for considering breaking up with my boyfriend?
Hey there...I need some advice about this. My boyfriend (35M) and I (30F) have been together for about 10 months. I started dating him a year after I got divorced from a very unfaithful man. Ex-husband cheated on me (online and physically) for the entire 7 years we'd been together (married for 2). Yes, I was stuck in a very unhealthy cycle with this man. I regret sticking it out past the first year and I've been in counseling since before the divorce. I know where I chose to ignore all the red flags by the time I found out he had cheated on me. I've been working hard to do what's right for me since. By the time we got divorced, I was so unattached, I really do believe I just stayed because it was what I knew for so long.
My counselor has been with me every step of the way during my dating journey after the divorce, and I'm brutally honest with her about everything because I don't want to make the same mistakes again. My nervous system is triggered by small things here and there still, and my boyfriend and I have been able to with through them and talk things out for the past 10 months. He knows my history and how badly I was hurt by my ex-husband (self- inflicted after the first time I caught him cheating with a girl from his hometown, I'll admit.)
My boyfriend, who has been nothing but warm, doting, patient, and consistent with me since the beginning, was also hurt pretty badly by his ex. He proposed and she took off with the expensive ring without telling him that she was leaving for good. She was in another relationship quickly after she dumped him over the phone a while later.
We agreed to be open about our cell phones, and we talked about all that a couple of months into the relationship. I'd never had a feeling in my gut that he was hiding something at all, and if I did have a question about something, he was quick to say that I could look through his phone if it made me feel more secure.
The other day, I reached for his phone to take a photo of us, and he grabbed it out of my hands, nervously saying that he'd just take the photo since I was laying down. My gut squirmed instantly. Then he told me I could look through his phone if I wanted to. So I did. I am always open with him about my phone, and he's always been open about his until this weird little interaction.
Initially, I saw he was just hiding some porn he was watching (I don't care about that, I watch a little porn sometimes, too. He gets embarrassed easily about that stuff, so I give him a hard time about it and joke with him. He is really shy when it comes to porn, but I like that about him. If anything, I've even mentioned we should watch it together just to see him blush.) So I didn't think too much of it.
Then, I saw in his Instagram messages that he had sent a few kissy face emojis along with a "Happy New Year!" to some lady. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and figured maybe it was just an old friend. He has a lot of older ranch friends from the area he's from, so I chalked it up to that. Turns out, she had lightly been putting it out there to him the week before my birthday, saying he checked off a bunch of things on her wishlist, but she wanted to know if he could ride horses. He didn't respond right away, but he did respond a few days later with a photo of him on horseback. This back and forth went on for about a month, where they'd take a few days to respond to each other, and it seemed pretty harmless, but still a little flirtatious, talking about riding horses and how they both like air planes. She was obviously flirting from the get go. He wouldn't respond initially, and she'd send another message to try and get his attention again.
She gave him her number, and he gave her his number on my birthday. We were together that day. So that stung quite a bit. He called her cute as hell at one point, and they sent each other a selfie of just their faces. They fell off from talking right after that, except for when she wished him a merry Christmas, happy new year, which he responded to once each (the new years one had the kissy emojis), and that was it. The weird thing is, she's an older lady than me, like in her 50s (nothing against older ladies here at all), and she's not attractive. She tried to reach out again one more time for Valentines Day, and he didn't respond. He continued to interact with liking her photos on instagram every once in a while. Most of the time she's on horseback or hiking somewhere. He likes everyone's photos, though, except for Instagram models because he knows that I don't feel respected when that happens, so I'm not sure what to think of it.
I took screenshots, and showed them to one of our mutual friends to get some perspective. She said that it seemed pretty harmless, but it still crosses a line. She said she'd be hurt, too, if her husband did that. She also said that she doesn't think my boyfriend would ever physically do anything with anyone like my ex did. She said I need to decide if I can forgive him or not, and work on building trust with each other if I did forgive him and if I felt like he was trustworthy after a while.
I confronted him, and he said he didn't remember it (even though he deleted the thread at that point). I told him he was hiding something, and I had pictures of it all. He told me he didn't want me to think that there was anything going on between him and this old lady, and it wasn't carrying on at all (which I believe). I told him what's hurts me more is that he tried to hide it and he wasn't upfront about it. He told me he was just bantering and it was more of a joking back and forth than anything. Needless to say my nervous system is shot from this whole thing. It's May now, and these messages happened back in September (besides Christmas and New Years). I didn't see anything else that rang any alarms in me, but I'm still hurt that he'd hide something dumb like that.
I've contemplated just leaving, and he knows that. He was devastated to find out that I was thinking that, and he started to cry so hard it took me by surprise, but I told him this feels too familiar for me and scares the living sh*t out of me. He said he'd do anything he had to to build up that bit of trust he took, including couples counseling. He said I could just take his phone if I wanted to. But I don't want to do that. I don't see my counselor for another week, and I don't want to drag family into this. I know from other threads people will say to just leave, but I'm struggling with that. No excuses for hiding it, but it was harmless and she's not attractive, so I don't feel threatened that he'd try to go after her or something. I believe she lives in another country. It just seems so dumb to lie and hide something like this. Am I overreacting?
submitted by InternationalYam4461 to AITAH [link] [comments]
My counselor has been with me every step of the way during my dating journey after the divorce, and I'm brutally honest with her about everything because I don't want to make the same mistakes again. My nervous system is triggered by small things here and there still, and my boyfriend and I have been able to with through them and talk things out for the past 10 months. He knows my history and how badly I was hurt by my ex-husband (self- inflicted after the first time I caught him cheating with a girl from his hometown, I'll admit.)
My boyfriend, who has been nothing but warm, doting, patient, and consistent with me since the beginning, was also hurt pretty badly by his ex. He proposed and she took off with the expensive ring without telling him that she was leaving for good. She was in another relationship quickly after she dumped him over the phone a while later.
We agreed to be open about our cell phones, and we talked about all that a couple of months into the relationship. I'd never had a feeling in my gut that he was hiding something at all, and if I did have a question about something, he was quick to say that I could look through his phone if it made me feel more secure.
The other day, I reached for his phone to take a photo of us, and he grabbed it out of my hands, nervously saying that he'd just take the photo since I was laying down. My gut squirmed instantly. Then he told me I could look through his phone if I wanted to. So I did. I am always open with him about my phone, and he's always been open about his until this weird little interaction.
Initially, I saw he was just hiding some porn he was watching (I don't care about that, I watch a little porn sometimes, too. He gets embarrassed easily about that stuff, so I give him a hard time about it and joke with him. He is really shy when it comes to porn, but I like that about him. If anything, I've even mentioned we should watch it together just to see him blush.) So I didn't think too much of it.
Then, I saw in his Instagram messages that he had sent a few kissy face emojis along with a "Happy New Year!" to some lady. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt, and figured maybe it was just an old friend. He has a lot of older ranch friends from the area he's from, so I chalked it up to that. Turns out, she had lightly been putting it out there to him the week before my birthday, saying he checked off a bunch of things on her wishlist, but she wanted to know if he could ride horses. He didn't respond right away, but he did respond a few days later with a photo of him on horseback. This back and forth went on for about a month, where they'd take a few days to respond to each other, and it seemed pretty harmless, but still a little flirtatious, talking about riding horses and how they both like air planes. She was obviously flirting from the get go. He wouldn't respond initially, and she'd send another message to try and get his attention again.
She gave him her number, and he gave her his number on my birthday. We were together that day. So that stung quite a bit. He called her cute as hell at one point, and they sent each other a selfie of just their faces. They fell off from talking right after that, except for when she wished him a merry Christmas, happy new year, which he responded to once each (the new years one had the kissy emojis), and that was it. The weird thing is, she's an older lady than me, like in her 50s (nothing against older ladies here at all), and she's not attractive. She tried to reach out again one more time for Valentines Day, and he didn't respond. He continued to interact with liking her photos on instagram every once in a while. Most of the time she's on horseback or hiking somewhere. He likes everyone's photos, though, except for Instagram models because he knows that I don't feel respected when that happens, so I'm not sure what to think of it.
I took screenshots, and showed them to one of our mutual friends to get some perspective. She said that it seemed pretty harmless, but it still crosses a line. She said she'd be hurt, too, if her husband did that. She also said that she doesn't think my boyfriend would ever physically do anything with anyone like my ex did. She said I need to decide if I can forgive him or not, and work on building trust with each other if I did forgive him and if I felt like he was trustworthy after a while.
I confronted him, and he said he didn't remember it (even though he deleted the thread at that point). I told him he was hiding something, and I had pictures of it all. He told me he didn't want me to think that there was anything going on between him and this old lady, and it wasn't carrying on at all (which I believe). I told him what's hurts me more is that he tried to hide it and he wasn't upfront about it. He told me he was just bantering and it was more of a joking back and forth than anything. Needless to say my nervous system is shot from this whole thing. It's May now, and these messages happened back in September (besides Christmas and New Years). I didn't see anything else that rang any alarms in me, but I'm still hurt that he'd hide something dumb like that.
I've contemplated just leaving, and he knows that. He was devastated to find out that I was thinking that, and he started to cry so hard it took me by surprise, but I told him this feels too familiar for me and scares the living sh*t out of me. He said he'd do anything he had to to build up that bit of trust he took, including couples counseling. He said I could just take his phone if I wanted to. But I don't want to do that. I don't see my counselor for another week, and I don't want to drag family into this. I know from other threads people will say to just leave, but I'm struggling with that. No excuses for hiding it, but it was harmless and she's not attractive, so I don't feel threatened that he'd try to go after her or something. I believe she lives in another country. It just seems so dumb to lie and hide something like this. Am I overreacting?
2024.05.15 00:56 MisterGrillmaster First time adopting cats
Hey everybody!
I recently separates from my girlfriend and now I can finally adopt a cute cat like I always wanted! I know quite a lot about how to care for a cat because very close friends always had cats. Now I came across a listing of someone looking for a new home for their cats because the boyfriend has allergies and the new landlord doesn’t allow pets. The female cat is castrated but the male one isn’t. Both of them are vaccinated. The owner needs them out asap but my apartment is not ready for cats and I do not have any cat equipment. I do not know what to do and would like some advice, thanks :)
submitted by MisterGrillmaster to CatAdvice [link] [comments]
I recently separates from my girlfriend and now I can finally adopt a cute cat like I always wanted! I know quite a lot about how to care for a cat because very close friends always had cats. Now I came across a listing of someone looking for a new home for their cats because the boyfriend has allergies and the new landlord doesn’t allow pets. The female cat is castrated but the male one isn’t. Both of them are vaccinated. The owner needs them out asap but my apartment is not ready for cats and I do not have any cat equipment. I do not know what to do and would like some advice, thanks :)
2024.05.15 00:23 Majestic_Lie7483 Friend zone stereotypes
Keeping it short and simple I met this cute girl in college, after 2 years of studying and hanging out together, i asked her if she liked me, not only she said that she didn’t, on top of that said she had a boyfriend and didn’t expect this from me, (since when did politely confessing love to someone became offensive), I didn’t knew she had a boyfriend and after this encounter didn’t spoke to her for a straight month. When i did join our friend circle (you can’t survive studying alone, you will need a group for projects), this girl had told her best friend that i was trying out on her even though she had a boyfriend and is disappointed on me, no matter how many times i tell her i did not know of her boyfriend (i don’t give 2 fucks about your stupid boyfriend whoever he is) she just goes around saying that i tried to hit on her knowing well she had a boyfriend. Now i only stay in her group for group projects and because rest of the class is kinda rude to an introvert guy like me. So our group is my only option and her face just keeps reminding me of how much i used to love her and depression both at the same time. Although we are good friends she now thinks after rejecting me, it is a good idea to stop me from being friends with some other guys in college who drink and smoke (stoners are the chill guys in college never forced me to do anything rash, just wanted help in assignments and you can have great chat with them any point of time, not like fake friends who copy your assignments and then block you or insult you in class) if any other person would have said i was making friends who are bad influence, I would not have found it as irksome as she telling me this after rejecting me and spreading fake rumours about my ill intent (what are you except being my friend? A girlfriend i never had?)so you guys do the justice and give tips for me in this situation, remember, our marks depend on this friend zoned relationship. I have to stay a friend for projects. Also if i ever had a girlfriend, i would not want her to be nagging and put her nose in my matters type. One advice is that i only meet her for work related matters otherwise i avoid her. Ask in comments for more of the backstory, whether i still like her or not.
submitted by Majestic_Lie7483 to india [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 23:54 Myla1001 Katara: What have they done to this strong, inspiring female character?
I already commented the same thing in a much shorter way under another topic, but I just have to say much more about this issue. First: I wouldn't be surprised if that topic has already been discussed in this community, but I couldn't find it, just many comments I absolutely agree with; although I think, there can't be enough discussion about THAT. And there is so much in my head for weeks now, that has to go outside finally. 😄
I watched the OG A:TLA after the Live Action for the first time, now that I am 32. And, boy, why did I miss this all those years???!!! 😄 Such a great show, such great characters and arcs … And since The Southern Raiders, I call myself a Zutara Shipper, the ending of the Show was very disappointing and disturbing to me. The more disappointed I was, when I started Korra. What did they do to my girl Katara?
I mean, yes, every woman is allowed to choose to be a housewife and mother without being criticized, that is what feminism is for: To have the choice. But, Katara??? Sitting at home with the non-airbender kids, waiting day in, day out for Aang, who is travelling with his airbender-favourite-son all over the world? The same badass girl boss, who had visions about a better world and would do everything in her power to help create it … COME ON!
Talking about the kids and the way they were threatened by Aang: I saw discussions where somebody said something like "Yes, but that only shows that nobody has to be perfect, not even Aang. He was a loving father." Really??? This isn't just a tiny flaw, which adds a certain depth to the character … It is child abuse, IMHO. I had to cry when the kids talked about it in LOK. And, as always, when Aang acts like sh*t, it is resolved quickly and very easy. In this case, with an old photo of the "oh so happy family". Such happy-smiling-and-hugging-family-photos are often far from reality … And, again, Kataras character has also been slaughtered in this case. Nobody who watched A:TLA would believe that she would just sit and watch how on one side the non-airbender-kids are suffering from their ignoring father, while the airbender-kid has such a huge pressure on his shoulders.
Don't get me wrong, I love Aang, just not this pushy whiny kid he became towards Katara in the end (Same thing with Mai acting in her "healthy" relationship). For real, I even thought about Katara pushing herself in this relationship. Because she got scared what Aang would do to her and the world, after he told her that he would be in the Avatar State out of rage, if it wasn't for his blocked chakra, after they watched the Amber Island-Players. It also came to my mind, and maybe this is far-fetched, that Zuko fathered at least one of her children. 😄What isn't far-fetched IMHO: That Aang for sure would have affairs, at least while travelling without Tenzin. You just have to take a look at his behavior during the comics.
I didn't read the comics to be honest, but saw enough evidence to know that I won't give them a try. I couldn't bear to read about Katara, who, after everything she achieved, is now only known as the Avatars girlfriend who is just sitting and waiting while her wonderful boyfriend is having fun with his fan club; and SHE is the one who apologizes for being jealous. Aangs behavior is a classic sign of narcissism. But, yeah, as so many Kataangers say: That relationship is a healthy one … Really, who are these guys kidding?
Throughout the whole A:TLA TV-Show, there were no signs of her feeling the same way as Aang did about her. He was a friend to her, brother, family, nothing more. And that dynamic was so wonderful, along with Sokka it felt like Harry, Ron and Hermione to me; and a fourth part when my girl Toph came along. 😄The childhood crush was kinda cute in Season 1, but then it became more and more toxic. And in the crossroads of destiny, when the guru told him to let go of his attachment to her … yeah, since then, and through the whole book 3, it felt like an obsession IMHO. Katara was his perfect, ideal, tiny-shiny trophy, and he was the "nice guy", who earned her. 🤢
I know what it feels like, if the "nice guy" constantly tries to push you into a relationship. I also know the feeling of being kissed without consent more than one time. Watching this without being solved was a huge trigger to me and, for sure, to other girls and women as well. Yes, Aang was 12 back then and probably didn't know better, but that is the point. He IS 12, why he even has to have a serious relationship by the end of the show? Kissing without consent is a serious issue, which is still normalized; if you add something like that in a TV Show for kids and teens, you have to be at least responsible enough to make Aang realizing that what he did was wrong and have a deep apologizing talk to Katara. Not only the one short line "I am such an idiot!", or something like that.
I don't care for Maiko as well. It is so toxic and unnecessary, I also don't believe that Zuko loves her. Show, don't tell, that is something that was forgotten here. The same High School Drama Relationship, as there were almost all of them in LOK.
I ship Zutara since the Southern Raiders. Katara and Zuko are equals, they see each other as humans with flaws, grow from each other and balance each other out. To see their Relationship (platonic or romantic) grow in something so deep is so fascinating and just wonderful to watch. And the scene where he saves her life, with the Slow Motion, the Music, the whole setting; yes, it is supposed to be romantic. Nobody can prove me different here. I see them together in their future, ruling as powerful equals over the peaceful realm they created. There is a picture in my head, Lord (or King) Zuko in a robe, alongside Lady (or Queen) Katara in a dress, both inspired by Yin and Yang; both hands on each others backs. ☯️Imagine "Marry me Suite" from the "Pirates of the Caribbean"-Soundtrack playing in the background with that picture. 😄
I really hope the creators of NA:TLA saw that opportunity too and do Zutara. Or at least make Kataang much, MUCH healthier. And if they do Kataang in a healthier way, I still wouldn't care for Maiko, but for Jinko. 5 to 10 Minutes and Zuko had 1000 times more chemistry with that girl from Ba Sing Se than with Mai in the whole book 4. 😄
To me, Katara is like a kids-friendly Daenerys Targaryen and Bryke did her exactly as wrong as the GoT Team did Daenerys. What is it with strong female TV-characters, don't they deserve an appropriate happy ending as heroes? Katara didn't really have to end up with anyone, of course, but she and Zuko would be a powerful, strong, healthy and loving couple; and wonderful parents. ❤️
submitted by Myla1001 to ZutaraNation [link] [comments]
I watched the OG A:TLA after the Live Action for the first time, now that I am 32. And, boy, why did I miss this all those years???!!! 😄 Such a great show, such great characters and arcs … And since The Southern Raiders, I call myself a Zutara Shipper, the ending of the Show was very disappointing and disturbing to me. The more disappointed I was, when I started Korra. What did they do to my girl Katara?
I mean, yes, every woman is allowed to choose to be a housewife and mother without being criticized, that is what feminism is for: To have the choice. But, Katara??? Sitting at home with the non-airbender kids, waiting day in, day out for Aang, who is travelling with his airbender-favourite-son all over the world? The same badass girl boss, who had visions about a better world and would do everything in her power to help create it … COME ON!
Talking about the kids and the way they were threatened by Aang: I saw discussions where somebody said something like "Yes, but that only shows that nobody has to be perfect, not even Aang. He was a loving father." Really??? This isn't just a tiny flaw, which adds a certain depth to the character … It is child abuse, IMHO. I had to cry when the kids talked about it in LOK. And, as always, when Aang acts like sh*t, it is resolved quickly and very easy. In this case, with an old photo of the "oh so happy family". Such happy-smiling-and-hugging-family-photos are often far from reality … And, again, Kataras character has also been slaughtered in this case. Nobody who watched A:TLA would believe that she would just sit and watch how on one side the non-airbender-kids are suffering from their ignoring father, while the airbender-kid has such a huge pressure on his shoulders.
Don't get me wrong, I love Aang, just not this pushy whiny kid he became towards Katara in the end (Same thing with Mai acting in her "healthy" relationship). For real, I even thought about Katara pushing herself in this relationship. Because she got scared what Aang would do to her and the world, after he told her that he would be in the Avatar State out of rage, if it wasn't for his blocked chakra, after they watched the Amber Island-Players. It also came to my mind, and maybe this is far-fetched, that Zuko fathered at least one of her children. 😄What isn't far-fetched IMHO: That Aang for sure would have affairs, at least while travelling without Tenzin. You just have to take a look at his behavior during the comics.
I didn't read the comics to be honest, but saw enough evidence to know that I won't give them a try. I couldn't bear to read about Katara, who, after everything she achieved, is now only known as the Avatars girlfriend who is just sitting and waiting while her wonderful boyfriend is having fun with his fan club; and SHE is the one who apologizes for being jealous. Aangs behavior is a classic sign of narcissism. But, yeah, as so many Kataangers say: That relationship is a healthy one … Really, who are these guys kidding?
Throughout the whole A:TLA TV-Show, there were no signs of her feeling the same way as Aang did about her. He was a friend to her, brother, family, nothing more. And that dynamic was so wonderful, along with Sokka it felt like Harry, Ron and Hermione to me; and a fourth part when my girl Toph came along. 😄The childhood crush was kinda cute in Season 1, but then it became more and more toxic. And in the crossroads of destiny, when the guru told him to let go of his attachment to her … yeah, since then, and through the whole book 3, it felt like an obsession IMHO. Katara was his perfect, ideal, tiny-shiny trophy, and he was the "nice guy", who earned her. 🤢
I know what it feels like, if the "nice guy" constantly tries to push you into a relationship. I also know the feeling of being kissed without consent more than one time. Watching this without being solved was a huge trigger to me and, for sure, to other girls and women as well. Yes, Aang was 12 back then and probably didn't know better, but that is the point. He IS 12, why he even has to have a serious relationship by the end of the show? Kissing without consent is a serious issue, which is still normalized; if you add something like that in a TV Show for kids and teens, you have to be at least responsible enough to make Aang realizing that what he did was wrong and have a deep apologizing talk to Katara. Not only the one short line "I am such an idiot!", or something like that.
I don't care for Maiko as well. It is so toxic and unnecessary, I also don't believe that Zuko loves her. Show, don't tell, that is something that was forgotten here. The same High School Drama Relationship, as there were almost all of them in LOK.
I ship Zutara since the Southern Raiders. Katara and Zuko are equals, they see each other as humans with flaws, grow from each other and balance each other out. To see their Relationship (platonic or romantic) grow in something so deep is so fascinating and just wonderful to watch. And the scene where he saves her life, with the Slow Motion, the Music, the whole setting; yes, it is supposed to be romantic. Nobody can prove me different here. I see them together in their future, ruling as powerful equals over the peaceful realm they created. There is a picture in my head, Lord (or King) Zuko in a robe, alongside Lady (or Queen) Katara in a dress, both inspired by Yin and Yang; both hands on each others backs. ☯️Imagine "Marry me Suite" from the "Pirates of the Caribbean"-Soundtrack playing in the background with that picture. 😄
I really hope the creators of NA:TLA saw that opportunity too and do Zutara. Or at least make Kataang much, MUCH healthier. And if they do Kataang in a healthier way, I still wouldn't care for Maiko, but for Jinko. 5 to 10 Minutes and Zuko had 1000 times more chemistry with that girl from Ba Sing Se than with Mai in the whole book 4. 😄
To me, Katara is like a kids-friendly Daenerys Targaryen and Bryke did her exactly as wrong as the GoT Team did Daenerys. What is it with strong female TV-characters, don't they deserve an appropriate happy ending as heroes? Katara didn't really have to end up with anyone, of course, but she and Zuko would be a powerful, strong, healthy and loving couple; and wonderful parents. ❤️
2024.05.14 23:52 sushilove20 I’m in a relationship, but feel single
I feel single even though I have a boyfriend (30 F and 29 M)
My boyfriend has 2 jobs, and is extremely hard working. He owns his car, his home, and has a cute dog. We were friends for about 4 years before we started dating, and now we have been dating for 4 months. When spending quality time with him, I’m so happy. But, if I’m lucky this happens once a week. He said he’s afraid he will lose his friends and they’re important to him. So he does 1 weekly hangout with them, and 1 virtual hangout on the weekdays. The other 2 days of the week is left with him working his second job late. So sometimes when I really want to see him I sit on his bed and watch tv while he works. We occasionally talk. We spend weekends here and there together, but I work the weekends. Because friend time is important to both of us, on a Friday or a Saturday, when I’m not working we spend time with my friends. At the end of the day we do not get much quality time together, and I would like to incorporate more of that. He said he barely sees his friends as it is, and needs one weekday to cool off and relax. I feel like I’m begging for his time and attention. My love language is quality time, and my other love language is words of affirmation. I don’t feel like I’m receiving neither at this time. I’ve spoken to him time and time again about how we need more quality time, and I need words of affirmation. But, he’s given no effort with the words of affirmation, and when I said I want quality time with him. He said “oh well I was just with you and your friends. I don’t have more time.” Or “well I can’t quit my second job, I’ll lose my home”. He said he’s very happy with our relationship when I asked. I suppose for me, I’m not always happy bc my love languages are not met, and he knows my love languages. Help? TLDR: I love my boyfriend, should I just wait for things to change because I’ve addressed what I want?
submitted by sushilove20 to relationships [link] [comments]
My boyfriend has 2 jobs, and is extremely hard working. He owns his car, his home, and has a cute dog. We were friends for about 4 years before we started dating, and now we have been dating for 4 months. When spending quality time with him, I’m so happy. But, if I’m lucky this happens once a week. He said he’s afraid he will lose his friends and they’re important to him. So he does 1 weekly hangout with them, and 1 virtual hangout on the weekdays. The other 2 days of the week is left with him working his second job late. So sometimes when I really want to see him I sit on his bed and watch tv while he works. We occasionally talk. We spend weekends here and there together, but I work the weekends. Because friend time is important to both of us, on a Friday or a Saturday, when I’m not working we spend time with my friends. At the end of the day we do not get much quality time together, and I would like to incorporate more of that. He said he barely sees his friends as it is, and needs one weekday to cool off and relax. I feel like I’m begging for his time and attention. My love language is quality time, and my other love language is words of affirmation. I don’t feel like I’m receiving neither at this time. I’ve spoken to him time and time again about how we need more quality time, and I need words of affirmation. But, he’s given no effort with the words of affirmation, and when I said I want quality time with him. He said “oh well I was just with you and your friends. I don’t have more time.” Or “well I can’t quit my second job, I’ll lose my home”. He said he’s very happy with our relationship when I asked. I suppose for me, I’m not always happy bc my love languages are not met, and he knows my love languages. Help? TLDR: I love my boyfriend, should I just wait for things to change because I’ve addressed what I want?
2024.05.14 23:32 tangynomnom Relationship advice
So I've (20m) been dating my gf for about a year, and I just know that she's the love of my life. I love absolutely everything about her, all her sweet mannerisms, her cute personality, her intelligence, her empathy, she's just perfect and I really do feel like she's a part of me. We've been living together for a few months, and I really just know deep down that she's the one, that she's my special someone. Unfortunately I've made some inadvertent mistakes and I've hurt her at times, and while she's very forgiving, I don't want to take advantage of that, and I truly, truly never want to break her heart ever again.
Growing up my parents had a really toxic relationship, constantly fighting and going at each other all the time to the point of emotional and physical violence, and so I never had my dad to watch and learn from so I can be a partner and maybe one day even a father that my girlfriend can be proud of. I want to take care of her and love her and be there for her, but I also wanna be a really good partner, someone she can come to for advice, for support, for comfort, I want her to feel secure and her heart to feel safe with me, the same way mine does with her. She's my everything and I guess I just want some dad advice on what I can do to be a good boyfriend and show this beautiful young woman that I love her with everything that I am. She's saved my life from when I was in my darkest moments, and I want her to know that I'm right here for her too. Thank you!
submitted by tangynomnom to DadForAMinute [link] [comments]
Growing up my parents had a really toxic relationship, constantly fighting and going at each other all the time to the point of emotional and physical violence, and so I never had my dad to watch and learn from so I can be a partner and maybe one day even a father that my girlfriend can be proud of. I want to take care of her and love her and be there for her, but I also wanna be a really good partner, someone she can come to for advice, for support, for comfort, I want her to feel secure and her heart to feel safe with me, the same way mine does with her. She's my everything and I guess I just want some dad advice on what I can do to be a good boyfriend and show this beautiful young woman that I love her with everything that I am. She's saved my life from when I was in my darkest moments, and I want her to know that I'm right here for her too. Thank you!
2024.05.14 23:18 S_a_t_a_n_i_c_a My boyfriend’s little sister friend is obsessed with him
Me, F14 and my boyfriend M16 have known each other for 2 years. We just recently started dating about 1 month ago but we’ve been bestfriends for 2 years. My boyfriend who I’ll call Marcus has 3 siblings who share a house with him. and a brother who he shares a room with who I’ll call Devin. He has 2 sisters. A 14 year old who I’ll call Maggie and a 11 year old who I’ll call jess. Me and his siblings are very close and I’ve noticed his younger sister jess has a close friend named Mila. Mila has always been weird, before I seen her in person I’d notice I would hear her voice almost all the time in the background while on call with my boyfriend Marcus. It would mostly be her trying to play fight with Marcus and Marcus telling her no and to get out of him and Devin’s room. He would always tell her to stop touching him or he would ask his sister Jess to take Mila back to her room. Me and Marcus are on the phone basically all day everyday. There’s been numerous incidents where Mila would attempt to sit on Marcus’s lap and Marcus would scream and ask her what the f*ck is she doing. He’s tried many times to set boundaries but the girl won’t listen. Once me and Marcus were on the phone after he had just cussed out Mila and Marcus and his brother Devin were talking about times that Mila has been weird. A time occurring when Mila hid in his closet while he was changing and Marcus screamed at her and told his mom. Another time Mila kept trying to find a way into Marcus and Devin’s room after Marcus had locked her out. There were many times where Mila had gotten in trouble for trying to grab Marcus private parts, In one incident of her trying to Marcus had enough and hit her in the face with a metal bucket. This all leads up to me coming over to Marcus’s house for us to hang out in person for the first time in a year. We were in him and Devin’s room and we were laying on the bed cuddling and watching tik toks together like normal teenage couples do when suddenly Mila came in the room. And she saw me and her face dropped, her whole demeanor changed. She asked “Who is SHE?”. I knew how weird that bitch was so I didn’t say anything back, I just kissed Marcus on the lips and ignored her too. Suddenly she went ballistic and just started cussing me out. She started yelling things like “I don’t know who the fuck you think you is”, “you ain’t cute bitch”, “I bet you won’t fight me tho”. Seeing an 11 year old girl try to act tough over a teenage boy who’s rejected her over dozens of times was hilarious. Me, Marcus, and Devin just started laughing. I do boxing and I’ve fought more times than I can count on both hands and Marcus knew that and so did Devin. Marcus just told the little girl to get out. It looked like something straight out of Bad Girls Club. The little girl wouldn’t leave so eventually Marcus got up and called his mom and dad to come get her and she had to leave and go home. But that wasn’t it. The next day me and Marcus planned to go to a beach. His brother was going to be at their grand parents house so that left me, Marcus, Maggie, and Jess. But that wasn’t It. Jess pleaded with their mom and dad to let Mila come and their parents agreed. once I made it to Marcus house I changed into my swimsuit and put a t shirt on over it. While putting on the T shirt I heard moving around in the closet. I knew Marcus and his family were in the living room so I freaked out and opened the closet and it was Mila. Apparently she thought I would be Marcus changing into his swimsuit, so she was trying to hide in the closet to watch. I started screaming at her, I was so mad so I don’t remember the things I said but I remember calling her a “Nasty bitch” and a “weird bitch”. Marcus heard me and he came to the back room and started to cuss her out as well. Soon the whole family had gotten involved. But since Mila is 11 they took it easy on her and we still went to the beach. The whole car ride was uncomfortable, there wasn’t enough room so we had to do this thing called “lap up”. It’s when someone sits on someone else’s lap in a car so that there’s more space. Mila volunteered to sit on Marcus’s lap but it was immediately denied, Instead Marcus sat on my lap and she had a salty face. When we made it to the beach me and Marcus took a bunch of pictures together and Mila tried to be in every single one. She started throwing sand at me and playing it off as just a joke. We eventually went home and Marcus begged me to stay the night so I agreed of course. He had some clothes that I could fit into. Pajama pants and a T shirt. Apparently he wanted to me to stay the night because Mila somehow convinced his parents to let her and they agreed. I slept in his bed and around 3 am I woke up to noises and it was Mila going through my purse and trying on my lip gloss. Since it was so late I didn’t wanna make a fuss so I just woke up Marcus and he handled it. Not in a good way. He smacked Mila and grabbed her by her hair and dragged her out the room
submitted by S_a_t_a_n_i_c_a to stories [link] [comments]
2024.05.14 23:09 KakyoinCherries My boyfriend fails to treat me right after a year
So, for context, me and my boyfriend (I’m 16, he 15) have been together for a year (since February of 2023) and we’re in an online relationship. We haven’t actually met each other, but we know what each other looks like and ages and we live 40-50 minutes apart.
Recently, he’s beginning to act different towards me. Hs best friend and my best friend are exes, so me and his best friend are sworn enemies/at each others throats and we have little to no mutual friends. He is always with his friends and spends little to no time with me. Im always messaging him first, starting conversations, hell, I even say good morning and good night first and it’s been happening for as long as I can remember (unless I fall asleep while talking to him and he says good morning). Currently, I haven’t talked to him because I forgot to text him one day.
Being the person I am, I just thought “maybe he’ll text me first!” Nope. No reply. This goes on for a week. He’s always “too scared to talk to me” which I understand , but it’s been a year since we’ve been together and he knows I’m rarely mad at him. I give him his space to play with his friends, which I feel like he prioritizes more than me. I remember I wanted to my two friends to him yesterday and they messaged him to check up on him. Five minutes prior, I messaged him apologizing if I had upset him in any way, and guess what? I had to wait half an hour for a reply, and they had to wait ten minutes. And he said that he had been feeling down lately and tried to space himself between certain people and him, but at the same time, he’d go and talk to his friends and play Fortnite with them for 3+ hours. I’m not “certain people” or some friend He talks to every two days I’m his boyfriend, and if anyone, I should be knowing about at least a third of his problems. He’s always so secretive.
Just today, he put him and someone else forming a heart with their hands on his story (my friend sent me a screenshot) and I was heartbroken. By the way, we don’t talk outside of discord, he doesn’t even send me TikTok’s or Instagram reels, or play together unless it’s something he wants to like Fortnite. I remember we played VRC every Saturday at 10pm and after two weeks, I had to start begging him to play with me. Ultimately, i stopped asking him after another incident where I had gave him an extra hour to play his game. After an hour, I messaged him if he was ready and just replied “I just got off my game” and I was expecting him to get on. I sit on my living room couch waiting for him to join, but after 10 minutes, I decided to (without his awareness, go online in the same game he “just got off”, only to see him online. I cried my ass off that night.
From here on, I’m just going to speak about incidents from my perspective. On our one year anniversary, I had spent weeks on animal crossing trying to make my island cute and presentable to him just for him to not be able to make it. So, instead of trying to play another game, we just spent our one year anniversary, as always, in discord talking. He also is not the best at communicating. Whenever someone tries to be serious with him, he just sends a stupid video/photo not relevant to the message at all and doesn’t respond afterwards and it makes me feel as if he would do the same to me. There was also a separate time where I was in a gc with him, his best friend, and a couple of their friends whom I don’t know. A month after the friend group we were in split up, I saw them shit talking me. And in that moment, I was like “you know what, let them say what they want, I don’t even meS with them anymore so there’s no point in saying anything” until he comes online. Instead of being a good boyfriend and defending me, he joins them. And you know what was worse? Me and him were playing a game at the moment. WHILE he was doing that. Not only, but he said “oh it would be so fun if we (talking to his best friend) played with so-and-so” is it not fun playing with me? When he was finally done bitching, He told them he was too tired to play anymore. Not me, his boyfriend, but his friends, so I got off. No Check ins, no dms asking why I left, nothing. But you know what really pissed me off? Literally TEN minutes after I got off, he’s on the game with his friends. I love him so much, but he breaks my heart.
By the way, you know what’s funny? I’ve been trying SO hard and putting SO much effort into our relationship with zero experience or past relationships whatsoever, but he’s been in so many yet fails to treat me properly.
submitted by KakyoinCherries to Vent [link] [comments]
Recently, he’s beginning to act different towards me. Hs best friend and my best friend are exes, so me and his best friend are sworn enemies/at each others throats and we have little to no mutual friends. He is always with his friends and spends little to no time with me. Im always messaging him first, starting conversations, hell, I even say good morning and good night first and it’s been happening for as long as I can remember (unless I fall asleep while talking to him and he says good morning). Currently, I haven’t talked to him because I forgot to text him one day.
Being the person I am, I just thought “maybe he’ll text me first!” Nope. No reply. This goes on for a week. He’s always “too scared to talk to me” which I understand , but it’s been a year since we’ve been together and he knows I’m rarely mad at him. I give him his space to play with his friends, which I feel like he prioritizes more than me. I remember I wanted to my two friends to him yesterday and they messaged him to check up on him. Five minutes prior, I messaged him apologizing if I had upset him in any way, and guess what? I had to wait half an hour for a reply, and they had to wait ten minutes. And he said that he had been feeling down lately and tried to space himself between certain people and him, but at the same time, he’d go and talk to his friends and play Fortnite with them for 3+ hours. I’m not “certain people” or some friend He talks to every two days I’m his boyfriend, and if anyone, I should be knowing about at least a third of his problems. He’s always so secretive.
Just today, he put him and someone else forming a heart with their hands on his story (my friend sent me a screenshot) and I was heartbroken. By the way, we don’t talk outside of discord, he doesn’t even send me TikTok’s or Instagram reels, or play together unless it’s something he wants to like Fortnite. I remember we played VRC every Saturday at 10pm and after two weeks, I had to start begging him to play with me. Ultimately, i stopped asking him after another incident where I had gave him an extra hour to play his game. After an hour, I messaged him if he was ready and just replied “I just got off my game” and I was expecting him to get on. I sit on my living room couch waiting for him to join, but after 10 minutes, I decided to (without his awareness, go online in the same game he “just got off”, only to see him online. I cried my ass off that night.
From here on, I’m just going to speak about incidents from my perspective. On our one year anniversary, I had spent weeks on animal crossing trying to make my island cute and presentable to him just for him to not be able to make it. So, instead of trying to play another game, we just spent our one year anniversary, as always, in discord talking. He also is not the best at communicating. Whenever someone tries to be serious with him, he just sends a stupid video/photo not relevant to the message at all and doesn’t respond afterwards and it makes me feel as if he would do the same to me. There was also a separate time where I was in a gc with him, his best friend, and a couple of their friends whom I don’t know. A month after the friend group we were in split up, I saw them shit talking me. And in that moment, I was like “you know what, let them say what they want, I don’t even meS with them anymore so there’s no point in saying anything” until he comes online. Instead of being a good boyfriend and defending me, he joins them. And you know what was worse? Me and him were playing a game at the moment. WHILE he was doing that. Not only, but he said “oh it would be so fun if we (talking to his best friend) played with so-and-so” is it not fun playing with me? When he was finally done bitching, He told them he was too tired to play anymore. Not me, his boyfriend, but his friends, so I got off. No Check ins, no dms asking why I left, nothing. But you know what really pissed me off? Literally TEN minutes after I got off, he’s on the game with his friends. I love him so much, but he breaks my heart.
By the way, you know what’s funny? I’ve been trying SO hard and putting SO much effort into our relationship with zero experience or past relationships whatsoever, but he’s been in so many yet fails to treat me properly.
2024.05.14 22:59 Patient_Hope_8 Is my boyfriend emotionally cheating on me?
Is my boyfriend emotionally cheating on me?
Is my boyfriend emotionally cheating on me?
My boyfriend ISTP 9w8 (22) and I ENFX 7w6 (26) started an online relationship turned real life which I met him in August, and the relationship was official 1/1.
However, when I got to know him (Let’s call him Trevor) summer leading to fall, it was mostly platonic, and a little flirting. However, he didn’t know of my age so I assumed I was too old for him for 4-5 years so I just engaged in the community online texting and not through Whatsapp.
However, starting in October, everything was smooth until he talked to this girl, let’s name her Lara. She is a “mean girl”, and she playfully flirts with everyone. He started to talk to her and banter with her meanly with a specific kind of humor, always flirt with her, talk about sexual topics with her and say things like “I’ll drop my EP a day early for you” and “Mad submissive”. It felt like he didn’t like her for her but flirts with her for god knows what reason!
The thing is, I liked him throughout the whole fall, so me and my friends seeing it they were always asking if they were together. She flirts with everyone, but he only bantered with her. So I concluded it to 3 reasonings of why: 1) he finds her the youthful option and he is pragmatic in choosing a mate 2) He wants her validation 3) he genuinely likes her.
Then came around 12/28 when we got closer and closer and I sort of told him how I felt through music and we talked everyday after. However on 12/30 he ignored me for a whole day to talk to her even saying things like bruised minge(?) which means vagina in slang. And voice notes her a lot with a jump in his voice.
After we got together on 1/1 which we grew really close we would call hours a day. The flirting mostly stopped but there were times on 1/30 and 2/5 and 2/18 where he would still have that jump in his voice and sends us the same memes and such. I confronted him on why he says he saw her as entertainment and felt empty so he flirts a lot and he said I made him stop liking mean girls? He said he likes chasing thrills and feeling something. And I always saw it as a validation thing because he never liked her just the idea of her as he didn’t know her that well as it was like that from the get go but it was always banter as he showed me his dms with her and he only has me on WhatsApp which we bonded over a companionship bond (calling every day for 2 hours, saying I love you, deepest darkest secret sharing, being there for eachother) and laughing a lot than a fire bond. We even visited each other and we held hands a lot and cuddled and slept with eachother. He told me his insecurities and darkest thoughts and we hanged out with eachother everyday for months just us alone on call and he even said he would be content with us me to talk to not the community at large
Still, it kind of hurt. Because we were together. And I liked him before. I asked him in a call one month later and asked if he thought she was cute, he said “of course she’s cute, she’s absolutely silly” which shocked and saddened me. I broke up with him.
Why do you think he did that, does he have a type, was he chasing validation and thrills, or he genuinely likes her?
Also did he emotionally cheat on me because it really hurt when he hyper fixated on her for banter.
Please help.
submitted by Patient_Hope_8 to enfj [link] [comments]
Is my boyfriend emotionally cheating on me?
My boyfriend ISTP 9w8 (22) and I ENFX 7w6 (26) started an online relationship turned real life which I met him in August, and the relationship was official 1/1.
However, when I got to know him (Let’s call him Trevor) summer leading to fall, it was mostly platonic, and a little flirting. However, he didn’t know of my age so I assumed I was too old for him for 4-5 years so I just engaged in the community online texting and not through Whatsapp.
However, starting in October, everything was smooth until he talked to this girl, let’s name her Lara. She is a “mean girl”, and she playfully flirts with everyone. He started to talk to her and banter with her meanly with a specific kind of humor, always flirt with her, talk about sexual topics with her and say things like “I’ll drop my EP a day early for you” and “Mad submissive”. It felt like he didn’t like her for her but flirts with her for god knows what reason!
The thing is, I liked him throughout the whole fall, so me and my friends seeing it they were always asking if they were together. She flirts with everyone, but he only bantered with her. So I concluded it to 3 reasonings of why: 1) he finds her the youthful option and he is pragmatic in choosing a mate 2) He wants her validation 3) he genuinely likes her.
Then came around 12/28 when we got closer and closer and I sort of told him how I felt through music and we talked everyday after. However on 12/30 he ignored me for a whole day to talk to her even saying things like bruised minge(?) which means vagina in slang. And voice notes her a lot with a jump in his voice.
After we got together on 1/1 which we grew really close we would call hours a day. The flirting mostly stopped but there were times on 1/30 and 2/5 and 2/18 where he would still have that jump in his voice and sends us the same memes and such. I confronted him on why he says he saw her as entertainment and felt empty so he flirts a lot and he said I made him stop liking mean girls? He said he likes chasing thrills and feeling something. And I always saw it as a validation thing because he never liked her just the idea of her as he didn’t know her that well as it was like that from the get go but it was always banter as he showed me his dms with her and he only has me on WhatsApp which we bonded over a companionship bond (calling every day for 2 hours, saying I love you, deepest darkest secret sharing, being there for eachother) and laughing a lot than a fire bond. We even visited each other and we held hands a lot and cuddled and slept with eachother. He told me his insecurities and darkest thoughts and we hanged out with eachother everyday for months just us alone on call and he even said he would be content with us me to talk to not the community at large
Still, it kind of hurt. Because we were together. And I liked him before. I asked him in a call one month later and asked if he thought she was cute, he said “of course she’s cute, she’s absolutely silly” which shocked and saddened me. I broke up with him.
Why do you think he did that, does he have a type, was he chasing validation and thrills, or he genuinely likes her?
Also did he emotionally cheat on me because it really hurt when he hyper fixated on her for banter.
Please help.