Thesis

Sources:

• Tweet
  
• The ADL - Israel: A Guide For Activists
  

Elaboration

The ADL promotes 'replacement theory' in Israel, while condemning it in America.
Awhile back, the ADL put out a hasbara handbook - a guide to advocating for Israel.
In the handbook, on pages 59-60, the ADL espouses views that are word-for-word taken from 'replacement theory'.

• The ADL - Israel: A Guide For Activists

Excerpt:

A bi-national state, in principle and in practice, would mean the ideological end of the Jewish State of Israel and lead to the forsaking of Jewish nationalism and identity, along with its special status as a refuge for Jews fleeing persecution.
Furthermore, bi-nationalism is unworkable given current realities and historic animosities. With historically high birth rates among the Palestinians, and a possible influx of Palestinian refugees and their descendants now living around the world, Jews would quickly be a minority within a bi-national state, thus likely ending any semblance of equal representation and protections. In this situation, the Jewish population would be increasingly politically – and potentially physically – vulnerable.
It is unrealistic and unacceptable to expect the State of Israel to voluntarily subvert its own sovereign existence and nationalist identity and become a vulnerable minority within what was once its own territory.

• Alarmism about 'birth rates' = ✅
  
• Alarmism about immigration = ✅
  
• Alarmism about the demographic majority becoming a minority and losing its privileged status = ✅
  
• Equating the privilege of being a demographic majority with 'sovereign existence' (which in-turn negates the existence and/or concerns, agency, progress, etc. of the Out-group) = ✅
  

All of this is typical 'replacement theory' talking-points.
A commentator on Twitter points out that the ADL uses the same rhetoric as American and European ultra-nationalists, who fear-monger about PoC and immigrants.

The interplay between right-wing nationalism & support for Israel

The ADL's primary purpose now is to defend Israel's apartheid regime.
Note how Rep. Stefanik is pictured in the ADL tweet. She is the one leading the charge right now with these public antisemitism inquisitions of college administrators.
Right-wing nationalists support Israel because they want to emulate Israel's policies towards Palestinians (as a stand-in for immigrants, PoC, leftists, etc.).
A study on European antisemitism found that xenophobes (who rated higher in antisemitism) tend to support Israel due to its immigration policies. Whereas those critical of Israeli policy were less xenophobic & less antisemitic.

• This fits the American Right too.
  
• Former New Republic editor, Peter Beinart, wrote about this in an article titled 'The Beinart Notebook - Are Zionists more antisemitic than anti-Zionists?'
  

Since Zionism is a form of cult-like nationalism, it's no surprise that the ADL would adopt 'replacement theory' talking-points when discussing their concerns about the political agency of the Jewish demographic majority in Israel.
In order to maintain that demographic majority, Israel uses discriminatory legislation & enormous State violence.
A lot of Zionists obfuscate what Zionism means now (for all practical purposes) by signaling some support/empathy for Palestinians. So the primary question one must ask, is whether you support a Jewish demographic majority in Israel.
If the answer is 'yes' - then you're justifying massive discrimination & violence against the Palestinian out-group. It no longer matters what games one plays with the 'definition' of 'Zionist'.
Get straight to the functional point. Are you morally consistent?

The ADL, Mike Pompeo, and the Jewish National Fund

Peter Beinart, in a discussion with FMEP's Lara Friedman & political strategist Rania Batrice, talks about how the ADL supports discriminatory policies in Israel that it would never support in America.
Peter notes that Jonathan Greenblatt, CEO of the ADL, has to 'code-switch' when advocating for Israel, for this very reason. Whereas, someone like Mike Pompeo, who is also a cultish nationalist, is more forthcoming in what he wants for America (a Christian nationalist State).
For Pompeo, it's perfectly fine to support an analog to the Jewish National Fund (JNF) in America (ie a hypothetical Christian National Fund; an organization that would support land access/development for Christians only). Greenblatt would lose his mind if a CNF existed in America - but he won't propose abolishing the JNF in Israel.
In Israel, the government controls 93 percent of the land¹ - directly or indirectly through quasi-governmental bodies like the Development Authority (DA) or the JNF. But all of it is administered by a governmental body, the Israel Land Administration (ILA).
The JNF's mandate is to develop land folease land to Israeli Jews, so 13% of the land in Israel excludes Palestinian citizens of Israel & everyone else. Thus, when the ILA tenders a lease owned by the JNF, they are directly complicit in "outright discrimination".²

1. The Israel Land Administration
2. Human Rights Watch - Off the Map: Land and Housing Rights Violations in Israel’s Unrecognized Bedouin Villages
3. Human Rights Watch - Israel: Discriminatory Land Policies Hem in Palestinians

Israeli historian at Tel Aviv University, Prof. Gadi Algazi, explains how the Ben-Gurion utilized the 1949 Absentee Property Law to facilitate the JNF acquiring stolen Palestinian land.

• The Real News Network - Israeli Tree Campaign "Judaizes" Expropriated Land

Ben-Gurion circumvented any future international legal intervention by 'selling' (absolutely illegally) the land entrusted to the custodians (Ben-Gurion appointed Israel the custodians of the stolen Palestinian land following the 48' War) to the JNF so that Israel, in the case of an international debate, could say 'sorry, it's not in my hands anymore'. Within days, about a million dunams (1M dunams = about 250K acres) of land were sold for a price well below their value to the JNF. Another million would be sold later on.

Then-Israeli Prime Minister David Ben-Gurion appointed the Israeli government as custodian of the land and then sold 250,000 acres to the Jewish National Fund. The problem of the Arab refugees was forgotten in the main despite the United Nations trying to resolve it. Ben-Gurion thought that time would eventually solve the problem. The abandoned village land and houses were given to Israeli soldiers so Arabs couldn’t return.

• The Berkshire Eagle - Leonard Quart: A documentary about Israel's past digs at the roots of its present uncertainty

Some speculate the JNF never even paid for the land. Instead, the Israeli government agreed to subsidize the purchase in exchange for assurances the land would be set aside for Jewish settlement.

But the Israeli cabinet ordered the JNF to stop all efforts at buying land from Palestinians directly, and the men returned to Israel.144 Ben Gurion told Weitz and Danin in December 1948 that “The JNF would buy land only from the State. There was no need to buy land from Arabs.”145
[...]One month after Ben Gurion told Weitz that the JNF should buy land only from the state, the two sides finally concluded a major deal by which the JNF would purchase a huge amount of refugee land in January 1949. Despite his mistrust of sharing power with the JNF, Ben Gurion had long wanted to sell captured Palestinian land to the JNF. In fact as early as May 13, 1948, the day before he publicly read Israel’s declaration of independence, Ben Gurion offered to sell a massive 2 million dunums of land to the JNF for £P0.5/dunum. He was trying to sell land he did not yet control to raise money for arms.

• Fischbach, Michael. Records of Dispossession (Institute for Palestine Studies Series) (pp. 61-63). Columbia University Press. Kindle Edition.

The deal involving the so-called “second million” dunums was finalized on October 4, 1950, and involved the transfer of an additional 1,271,734 dunums by the Custodian of Absentee Property on behalf of the Development Authority to the JNF, 99.8 percent of which (1,271,480 dunums) was rural land. Granott later placed the amount at 1,278,200 dunums. The amount of £I66 million was to be paid to the government over a ten year period. Some sources indicate that the JNF was actually to turn the money over to the Jewish Agency on the government’s behalf; the amount then would be considered a loan by the government to the JA. Others claim that the JNF never actually paid the amounts it owed under the two deals.163

• Fischbach, Michael. Records of Dispossession (Institute for Palestine Studies Series) (pp. 65-66). Columbia University Press. Kindle Edition.

Thus, Israel confiscated Palestinian land and held it in trust - only to sell it to an organization that would only allow the land to be used (sold/leased/etc.) by Jewish people only.

The JNF faced no such obstacles and was free to discriminate against Arabs in favor of Jews. Its charter mandated that all land that it purchased thereafter would be inalienable, to be held by the JNF on behalf of the Jewish people in perpetuity. Because the JNF could not sell land it acquired, it leased land to Jewish settlements and individual Jews on the condition that it not be re-let to non-Jews and that only Jewish labor be used on the land—the policy of “Hebrew labor” [Heb.: ‘avoda ‘ivrit]. Thus as a nongovernmental organization free to manage its own land on an exclusivist basis within the new state, the JNF argued for its control of refugee land on this ideological base: if the JNF obtains the land, it will be the best way to guarantee that it is used for Jewish settlement only. This attitude was expressed by a JNF official at the 23rd congress of the World Zionist Organization held in 1951, the fiftieth anniversary of the JNF’s establishment, who stated that the JNF “will redeem the lands and will turn them over to the Jewish people—to the people and not the state, which in the current composition of population cannot be an adequate guarantor of Jewish ownership” [emphases in the original].

• Fischbach, Michael. Records of Dispossession (Institute for Palestine Studies Series) (pp. 59-60). Columbia University Press. Kindle Edition.

It's important to note that all throughout the history of the JNF, its officials openly talked about dispossessing the Palestinian people and taking their land.
In Records of Dispossession, Michael Fischback writes about the culpability of Zionist organizations in the expulsion of the Palestinian people - and singles out one important figure, Yosef Weitz of the JNF.

The question of to what degree Jewish authorities deliberately expelled Palestinians is a hotly contested one.13 For many historians of the Arab-Israeli conflict, the issue comes down to whether Zionist authorities ordered the deliberate expulsion of the Palestinians according to a master plan of ethnic cleansing. It is beyond dispute that some expulsions occurred as it is that, even before the fighting began, various figures in the Zionist movement were actively investigating the idea of what they euphemistically called “transferring” the Palestinians out of the country. One such person was Yosef Weitz of the Jewish National Fund [Heb.: Keren Kayemet le-Yisra’el]. Weitz was born in Russia in 1890 and immigrated to Ottoman Palestine in 1908. He began working for the Jewish National Fund (JNF) in 1918. The JNF was established by the World Zionist Organization [Heb.: ha-Histadrut ha-Tsiyonit; later, ha-Histadrut ha-Tsiyonit ha-‘Olamit] in December 1901 to acquire land in Ottoman Syria for the establishment of a Jewish state. It acquired its first land in Palestine in 1904. In 1907, the JNF was incorporated in London as the Jewish National Fund, Ltd., although its offices were located on the continent and moved several times over the decades. Starting in 1932, Weitz had risen to serve as the director of the JNF’s Land Development Division. He was also involved in the establishment of the Histadrut, the all-encompassing Zionist labor federation.

• Fischbach, Michael. Records of Dispossession (Institute for Palestine Studies Series) (pp. 4-5). Columbia University Press. Kindle Edition.

Weitz countered with a hard-line vision of transferring the Palestinians completely out of the country. He detailed his ideas in his diary:

It should be clear to us that there is no room in Palestine for these two peoples. No “development” will bring us to our goal of independent nationhood in this small country. Without the Arabs, the land will become wide and spacious for us; with the Arabs, the land will remain sparse and cramped . . . . The only solution is Palestine, at least Western Palestine [i.e., Palestine without Transjordan], without Arabs. There is no room here for compromises!14

Weitz and Lifshits agreed to try to work toward this goal. In fact, in 1948 they served together on a committee that investigated transfer (see below). When the fighting broke out in 1948, Weitz believed that it provided a golden opportunity to effect such a transfer. By the spring of that year, thousands of Palestinians were already in flight and leaving behind large stretches of land. For Weitz, the proper course of action was simple: prevent their return and take over their land. On May 20, 1948, Weitz noted in his diary that the refugee flight would create “a complete territorial revolution . . . . The State is destined to expropriate . . . their land.” 15 Once the fighting was underway, he would move to realize this.

• Fischbach, Michael. Records of Dispossession (Institute for Palestine Studies Series) (pp. 6-7). Columbia University Press. Kindle Edition.

The ADL's history of anti-Palestine activism: the spying case

Historically, the ADL surveilled Arab-American and Jewish-American activists who were sympathetic to the Palestinian struggle.

• The Los Angeles Times (1993) - New Details of Extensive ADL Spy Operation Emerge : Inquiry: Transcripts reveal nearly 40 years of espionage by a man who infiltrated political groups.
  
• The Associated Press (1993) - Arab-Americans Sue Anti-Defamation League Over Alleged Spying
  
• The Los Angeles Times (1999) - Anti-Defamation League Settles Spying Lawsuit
  
• The Jewish Telegraphic Agency (2002) - ADL Settles Privacy Lawsuit, but Denies It Did Anything Wrong
  

Excerpt, from a JTA (2002) article on the ADL spying on anti-Zionist Jewish-Americans:

Both sides had filed appeals in July when a San Francisco Superior Court judge dismissed the cases of plaintiffs Anne Poirier and Steven Zeltzer, but not that of Jefferey Blankfort, who claimed the ADL obtained his Social Security number "for nonjournalistic purposes." Because the settlement took place before the appeals came though, the ADL agreed to compensate all three.

Blankfort explains the court case:

• The National Press Club - Jeffrey Blankfort: The ADL: Covert action, censure, and courting law-enforcement.

In earlier decades, the ADL put out dossiers on pro-Palestine activism with titles like, 'Target U.S.A: The Arab Propaganda Offensive' (1975).

• Source: Stanford University, the Berman Jewish Policy Archive.

News article coverage from that time, reporting on then-director of the ADL Jerome Bakst's speaking engagement in town.

• Source: The Evening Herald of Pennsylvania, November 1975.

In the present, the ADL still keeps tabs on pro-Palestine activism & activists like Mohammed El-Kurd.
With so many more Zionist groups now, the ADL no longer has to be a one-stop-shop for all things Israel advocacy. They no longer need to spy on Americans when plenty of other organizations do. They no longer have to profile people, because other Zionist groups like Canary Mission do.
So while the ADL isn't outright spying people as it did years ago, it's not out of some moral shift. It's because they no longer have to.

For part 1 click here
Sunny left the room in an uproar to look for Adam.
The translation unit was almost overloaded with the noise behind her, but she didn't need it to understand the human's words as they yelled at each other, both sides polarizing for and against her and Adam as she stepped from the room.
Truth be told it didn't bother Sunny much, having spent her entire life rejected by her own mother, having only recently gotten over that, she found that dealing with other people wasn't so hard, but she knew what this meant for Adam as close to his family as he was.
She found him outside on the deck pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back. She was surprised to see more anger in his expression than fear or doubt. His chin was held high, jaw clenched.
She knew that look.
"Are you ok?”
He swiveled to face her, his face flushed with red.
"I think I might have screwed up."
His voice was calm.
Sunny tilted her head,
“What's done is done."
He paused and nodded in agreement.
She offered up the plate she had brought him,
"Are you going to eat, or should I just throw this away?”
He paused looking at the plate and then looked up at the sky and sighed deeply.
"No I... I have something I need to do."
And then to her surprise he turned back on his heel and marched back into the house, leaving her standing confused in his wake. Still holding the plate, she hurried after him, finding she had to jog lightly to keep up with his strides despite him being a foot shorter than her as he marched through the living room and back into the dining room where the tumult had only gotten louder. Martha was standing alongside her husband across the table from her parents and an uncle. David was red in the face standing next to his mother as Jordan held onto his arm trying to calm him down. Uncle Ben and his family Sat wide eyed in silence as Maya herded the children out of the room and into the next. David and Jordan's son had burst into tears at the uproar and Kimber was valiantly trying to calm him down as she was led away.
Eris sat shrunken into the corner, holding her hoodie down over her ears rocking back and forth seeming like she was suffering some kind of breakdown.
Adam paused at the head of the table and tried to shout to be heard over the tumult, but despite his best efforts he was being drowned out.
Sunny pulled up next to him drawing in a breath to give them her best war cry.
They had tested it at one point a Drev at the height of shouting could reach 140 decibels which was as loud as a gunshot, but just as she was about ready to start, Eris took to her feet hands balled into fists.
"Everyone just, STOP!!!"
Her voice wasn't very loud, but the psychic wave that she produced hit the entire room like an explosion. The humans rocked on their feet, hands to their heads. A couple fell out of their seats clutching their ears. Sunny felt dizzy, and when she was finally able to look up the room was a picture of silent carnage, almost akin to a renaissance painting. Adam's family members were hunched or crouched next to their seats, their hands over their ears. Some lay on the floor looking shocked. Uncle Ben was holding a shattered glass.
Adam was the only one still standing, but instead of addressing the room he hurried across the floor to where Eris was still sitting on her seat, hands over her ears. He knelt in front of her and gently took her hands,
"I'm so sorry Eris, here..."
He paused and then turned towards where Thoms was sitting hand still to his head,
"Thomas can you go get the car started and maybe take Eris out for a little?”
The other man nodded dumbly, still holding his head as he got up,
Adam was still holding Eris hands,
"Hey, hey look at me. Thomas is going to go start the car, and I want you to go with him somewhere quieter, ok? While I get all of this sorted out. I'm so sorry kid, this is my fault."
She shook her head, but he wouldn't hear it, kissing the top of her head through her hoodie and then helping her to her feet where she hurried outside.
The entire room remained silent as Adam waited for the sound of the retreating car before he turned back to the room.
The look on his face was thunderous, and Sunny, realizing that she was not needed, plopped herself down in Thomas's vacated chair between a wide-eyed Grandpa Vir, and one of the aunts, and pulled the big salad bowl towards her. If she was going to be entertained, she might as well have a snack while doing it.
Adam, still standing at the head of the table looked a bit nonplussed as he stared at her, and she watched as the entire family's eyes turned to look at her. She crunched slowly on another piece of iceberg lettuce and motioned for them to continue.
”Give ‘em hell tiger! Don’t mind me.”
Adam took a deep breath and sighed before beginning,
"How DARE you!?"
The room was still silent.
He turned to make eye contact with everyone in the room, his single eye staring at them with such condemnation that many lowered their heads,
"Fighting, in front of the kids and guests like this!? It's reprehensible! Absolutely disgusting!”
He pounded his fist against the table,
"I thought you all were better than this!”
They looked down.
"When I was young MY family taught me to be accepting and inclusive of everyone. I was taught to be polite, caring and even love those who I disagreed with."
He paused for a moment gathering his thoughts,
"Since joining the UNSC I have met a lot of people and done a lot of things and during that time I have had the opportunity to better learn courage and compassion in a way that I don't think others will ever have the privilege of doing. So, shame on you, shame on you all for behaving like this after teaching me what you tried to teach."
He jabbed a finger at Martha's parents,
"You two especially, all dinner I have had to sit here and listen while the two of you made embarrassing and xenophobic comments at the behest of my friend..."
He paused then shook his head,
"No scratch that, the Love of my life, and my girlfriend, and I am sick and tired of hearing it! Plus, all of that bestiality bullshit!”
He slammed his hands against the table again,
"Bestiality!? Seriously!? That’s the most insulting thing I have ever heard in my entire life!!! She's NOT an ANIMAL, she is a sentient thinking person who is, and I have no DOUBT in my mind of this, waaay smarter than I will ever be. There is nothing wrong here, the only thing wrong is your fear and your prejudices. Finally, I find someone who I really care about and for some reason unknown to me that has to be some sort of problem?"
He glowered around the room.
Uncle Ben sat in his seat looking almost apologetic. Martha's mother looked as if she was about to cry while her husband looked silently defiant. Grandpa and Grandma Vir just looked on awkwardly.
"So does anyone have a problem with that?"
He went silent as the room waited.
It was then that Jim Vir, who had been, up until this point, sitting, still eating his dinner, picked up his glass and raised it,
"Here here!”
Jeremy, Maya, and David quickly grabbed their drinks too and raised them with their dad. Martha did the same, and eventually Grandma Vir raised her glass as well. A few members of the family seemed surprised, but followed suit. Of course, not everyone joined in. Uncle Ben's wife didn’t, and Martha's parents didn't, a few others were either too shocked or disgusted to do so. Once it was all over Martha's father stood, took his plate and walked into the study, shutting the door behind him leaving his wife sitting tearfully at the table.
Everyone waited…
Adam looked at his mother.
She motioned him to sit, and he did, and she took her seat as well.
Sunny watched as the family slowly groaned back into place as David forced a conversation between himself and uncle Ben. Eventually the table was speaking again, and the children slowly filtered back in. Jordan went out to comfort their son, who was brought back red eyed and puffy cheeked, but happy enough. Kimber, smart for her age, walked in and hugged Adam once, before running over to sit next to Sunny. Both Waffles and Jeffrey had come over to sit with Adam, Waffles resting on his feet and Jeffrey slithering out his human leg.
The table remained tense.
Sunny didn't mind. She was almost having fun occasionally shooting a glance over at Adam who remained stiff and straight backed.
Martha's mother eventually opened her mouth in a gargantuan effort to seem polite, looked at Sunny,
"So uh... Sunny why don't you tell us about your family?”
Adam stiffened the fork halfway to his lips, David spilled water on his lap and Martha choked on her food.
"Oh… My mother tried to throw me into a volcano when I was born and my father is dead. It was a glorious death though, Adam was pretty much directly responsible for it. As for my mother, she tried to kill me, so Adam beat her unconscious with a rock, then she later came back and tried to kill him, so I crippled her and now she’s as good as dead, rotting in the GA’s biggest, most secured prison.”
Someone's glass shattered, uncle Ben tipped his plate onto his lap and Maya's husband looked as if he wanted to sink through the floor.
The table went silent again.
Across the table there was a sudden snorting noise, and Sunny turned her head to see Jim holding a glass to his lips. His eyes were squinted shut. He slowly lowered the glass from his mouth other hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking.
The entire table stared at him.
It continued to shake for a little bit until a small squeak escaped him, and then he could no longer contain himself as full low laughter broke from him, shaking the table and causing the glassware to clatter.
Sunny was the second person to begin laughing until the entire table was uneasily going along with it.
"Oh heavens!"
Jim punted,
"What a clusterfuck!”
"Jim!"
Martha scolded him as he continued to giggle,
"This couldn't get worse, could it? Like objectively more awkward?"
Adam was smiling slightly as his father laughed, taking another sip of his drink. Sunny hummed low in her chest setting the empty salad bowl back on the table.
Jim waved a hand at Adam,
"Go on, get out of here before it gets worse."
He continued to laugh. Adam looked relieved and thanked his dad before standing. Sunny did the same, and in a seemingly random act of defiance Adam took her hand as he walked out. Sunny hummed softly as she was dragged towards the front door and outside.
He paused to take a deep breath once they were out on the front porch.
He turned to look at her and she tilted her head,
"So, does this mean we are a thing again?"
Adam paused, withered as if he was going to back out and then set his jaw straightening up with a deep breath,
"If you'd take me back, then yes."
She tilted her head as if thinking about it, but seeing the encroaching panic on the man's face she nodded,
"Yes obviously, I'm sorry, I won't tease you anymore."
The look of relief on his face was almost heartbreaking as he grabbed her hand again,
"Come on."
"Come on what?"
"We are going on a date."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really now get in the damn car before I have a heart attack."
"Mmmmm you're kinda cute when you order me around."
He raised an eyebrow at her from over the car roof,
"Oh yeah? Well, there's more where that came from."
She hummed again as she took her seat, the car doors slamming on either side of them. She listened to the engine as it thrummed to life. She glanced over at him, only to see him whiteknuckling the steering wheel as they drove down the gravel drive.
Sunny wasn't entirely sure if that was because of what had just happened or because Adam hated driving. They passed Thomas and Eris heading back and both paused in the road windows rolled down.
He leaned his head out the window,
"Hey you guys ok?”
Thomas nodded,
"Yeah Eris suggested milkshakes, so we went out."
He reached over with a closed fist, and Eris gave him a fist bump,
"Never told me how fucking cool my niece was!”
Adam smiled,
"I thought it was obvious."
"You guys leaving?"
"Just for a little while."
"How did things go after we left?”
Adam shrugged,
"I chewed out Mom's parents and then we finished dinner, got so awkward, dad laughed so hard he almost pissed himself, you know the usual family reunion shit."
Thomas snorted,
"Well you two crazy kids have some fun. I return to the house of Evil."
Adam laughed and the two of them slowly began to pull away.
Sunny watched them go and then turned back to Adam,
"So, you've never really called it a date before. A human courting ritual I assume?”
He nodded.
"What should I expect?"
"Well, we are going to go out and have dinner then maybe see a movie and go for a walk."
"We just had dinner."
"Yeah and I'm already hungry."
The two of them laughed and he took a long slow breath as they pulled onto the main highway.
He was a man of his word, and she got a second dinner before going to see a movie. It was an action movie, as the only kind of movies Sunny could really pay attention to, though Adam said she tended to ruin them by judging the realistic nature of the fight choreography before she pointed out that he always judged the planes.
[…]
It was later that night walking out of the movie theater laughing, that they fell back into step with each other. Sunny lifted her head to the night air breathing in slowly. She loved the smell of Earth. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because she associated it with humans, and that was associated with Adam. He took her down a partially lit pathway into one of the parks illuminated by the faint yellow glow of the lanterns. Other people were walking here too, and all around them bioluminescent bugs winked in the darkness.
Adam reached down to pick up a discarded stick, which he spun between his hands absently.
Sunny was just enjoying the air when she noticed a sudden change in his posture. It was only that notice that saved her, and she ducked as he swung, narrowly missing her beak by a few inches.
She dodged backwards keeping low to the ground as he advanced grinning.
"That is hardly fair, attacking me when I'm unarmed."
"Is it my fault you weren't prepared?”
Sunny dodged back, grabbing a stick from the ground and bringing it up to meet his downward stroke. She threw his attack to the side and jabbed for his middle though he backed away at the last second.
Their fight only grew more elaborate as they danced up and down the walkways, leaping up onto benches and playground equipment as they ranged across the park. Startled couples walking in the darkness jolted to the side as they raced past. Sunny cut down, shearing Adam's stick straight in half.
He looked down in surprise, ducked under her swing and then pulled back coming at her again, but changing up his style so he was now using the two sticks as weapons. Sunny found it rather hard to keep him back with two weapons against her one, though her reach was far superior. She caught him once in the side, but gave it up for a kick in the chest. She staggered back and he came in overhead with both of the sticks which she caught on hers. They stayed locked there for a moment before he reached out a foot and tipped her onto the grass.
She fell and he fell with her weapons still locked.
She looked up at him, the UV blue of his stripes rendered more purple by the dim light.
Sunny felt something rather strange just then and let go, flipping him onto his back in the grass where he lay breathing hard.
"You pulled your punch."
She grunted sitting up.
"I well yeah... I like you, I don't want to hurt you."
"You know where I come from since you like me, you should hit me harder.”
"Where I come from that is called domestic violence."
They laughed again and then paused still breathing hard.
"I feel... strange."
He propped himself up on his elbow to look over at her,
"What do you mean?”
She explained and he raised an eyebrow,
"Well, that's good, that's kind of how you are supposed to feel after what we just did I guess."
"What do you even mean."
She stared at him confused and he inched over, pushing her back into the grass before holding his hands up,
"May I define: foreplay. Now I’m not going to define you what “being horny” is, you can ask Ramirez about that… on second thought don’t, better not tell him about that…"
"Jerk."
She kicked him back onto the ground where he lay in the dirt.
"Since when did you know how to flirt?”
"Apparently since about ten minutes ago."
He looked over at her,
"Since when did you even know what flirting is?”
She grumbled,
"We have flirting on my planet."
"Punching someone in the face does not count as flirting."
"Then clearly you don't understand true romance."
He continued to laugh some more, but just then they heard a sharp siren and then were lit up by bright blue and red light. Adam sat up quickly, as did Sunny, and the two of them sat there in surprise as two figures walked towards them from the darkness, one of them holding a flashlight. Adam held up his hand to cover his eyes as the two police officers walked forward.
"Everything alright here?"
They asked, looking at Sunny in something akin to shock or awe.
Adam blushed,
"Uh yeah... Is something wrong, officer?"
"Just got a call a few minutes ago about a... Drev and some guy beating the shit out of each other in the park, that wasn't you two was it?”
Adam was blushing, though the lighting was his saving grace.
"Uh yea, that was us, but we were just... ahem… play fighting."
They glanced between him and Sunny, not entirely sure what to do.
Sunny nodded at them,
"Yes, we are sorry, and will try to tone it down next time."
The two officers glanced between the two of them, and one of them called in a false alarm on the radio before heading back to his car. Sunny And Adam ended up laughing again as the two men left them to be.
"Maybe we should go somewhere more private…”
"Probably a good idea."
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Orginal Story by C.K. Walker
Written By Ayden M.N. and u/Memisworld_23
SPOILERS FOR BORRASCA V
(Constructive Criticism is welcome and encouraged)
...
One hundred thirty two. That is the amount of people that were rescued that day on the mountain. I would be lying if I said it didn’t take me by surprise to hear the news about the stables let alone the number of people that were there. It makes me think back to when I was a kid and all the strange and tragic things that happened to me then. It's funny how time changes, how everything wilts away. How life goes on without a wait or stop. Sometimes you'll forget what lurked underneath, and when you do remember, it's already too late. I couldn't say my childhood wasn't bad but it's basically not as cheery as most kids have it.
My father was definitely sucked into his job as a lawyer, while my mom was bustling her back at an old diner, drinking her sorrows away. None had any time to spare for me, as a child. It made me a pretty independent child, and when my mother decided to give birth to Lucy, I became that mother figure that I never had. Aside from Lucy, I had nobody else to talk to. School in Drisking was okay, but I would be lying if I said it was a good experience. I was pretty much alone from childhood to teens. Most kids already had their own friends, their designated trio. I would always refer to it that way. It was by sheer luck that I really did find a friend. Someone who I could share my emo playlist alongside with and in return she taught me a lot about DnD.
However like if the world knew I was meant to be alone, she was taken away from me. I never knew what happened to her, but I beat myself about. If only I didn't moved from Drisking, maybe I could had found her sooner.
The one thing that has remained consistent is my ritualistic daily breakfasts at the diner. From the start of my freshmen year, I never missed a day of going to the diner. It was my way of getting my head together and preparing for the day ahead. Even into my adulthood, I never stopped going. Imagine my surprise when I saw a face that I’d honestly thought I would never see again. It didn’t click at first. I just felt like I knew it.
She was about 5’8” with asymmetrical short dirty blond hair. Her clothes were mainly black and I can just see something protruding from her around her waist. She had a plain black shirt tucked into her pants with a well-kept belt. She wore a Nobel 6 zip up jacket -Clearly a Halo fan- and a small d20 pin on it. Where this seems normal to the untrained eye, I can’t help but feel deja vu from looking at this woman. She seemed like this distant dream that is so fuzzy that it’s just familiar enough to almost recognize.
She walked into the diner and was given a table next to mine. I racked my brain trying to figure out who this was. I examined every part of her, again, and again, and again, just trying to make sense of who was sitting right there in front of me. She was so close, yet she was so distant from me.
“May I help you?” She sighs, putting her coffee down on the table in a way that I can only describe as a contained irritation. “Or are you just going to stare at me like I’m an exhibit?”
I wasn’t even conscious I was staring. She turns to me and it all clicks together. The d20, the jacket, and, my new discovery, looking at her closer and can see her, the freckle on her upper lip.
“Kat? Is that really you?” Stunned, I blurted out. I was adamant that that familiar woman had to be her. No one had that exact same freckle like her.
“That depends on who is asking.” She rolls her eyes taking another sip of her coffee.
She doesn’t recognize me? It makes since she didn’t. It’s been so long. Looking down at my empty plate, as I really wanted her to recognize me. Should I introduce myself? I thought, maybe I'll make her remember me.
“So you don't know me? I can give a hint, I'm sure it might give you an idea on who I am.” I nervously laughed, as I dug into my black leather purse.
Quickly, I pulled it out, plopping down a custom made d20 dice on the table. I remember painting my own dice black, since I was super obsessed with the color black as a teen.
“Wait,” Kat puts down her coffee again, this time with more of a clang. “What is that? Where did you get this?”
Placing the dice right next to my plate, I felt my throat lumping already.
“Remember on my 16th birthday, when it was only you and me. I remember we almost burned the house down because we had the dumb idea to bake a cake.”
“Pauly…?” A slow recognition comes across Kat’s face. Replaced soon by unadulterated joy. “Well, I’ll be damned!”
Tears started to well up my eyes, I was so ecstatic to finally see her eyes flashed with recognition. I slowly got up to my chair, every step I took felt like I was stepping in a pile of needles. Getting a great look on Kat, she looked different from the nerdy shy girl I knew. But, I didn’t care how different Kat looked, I was happy to see my old friend alive.
“I just don't know what to say. I thought I've lost you.” I whispered, my voice already trembling as I spoke.
“Oh,” Kat's voice cracks a bit too, pulling me into a hug. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
Kat seemed to be holding back tears. Just being with her now, I couldn’t even wrap my head around it. It seems so surreal. Even when I hugged her, it felt like it was a fabricated dream. But it wasn't, this was all flesh and blood.
“Just…how are you…I'm so sorry that I never found you. Everyone, even the cops told me that you were long gone. I had hoped you'd come back. Just didn't know it would take this long.” Wiping my tears with my sleeve, I hugged even tighter. She was much taller than me, so I couldn't really comprehend it.
“Hey, hey.” Kat chuckles a bit. Still holding back tears, I could tell. “It’s okay. You…There was no way you could have known. I have a lot of explaining to do, I’m sure but let’s forget about that for now.”
“Yeah…I'm just so happy to see you again.” I sat across from Kat's seat, picking up a napkin to wipe the rest of my tears. It rubbed off some of my mascara, making me think it was a horrible idea to try out some make up today. “So, um…what have you been doing over these years? I see you got a gun holster over there?”
“Well, I…” Kat cut herself off. “I was a SWAT operative. It’s, uh, a long story. How about you?”
“SWAT? No wonder you look so tough and badass!” I then continued enthusiastically. “Well, I'm actually a nurse practitioner. I'm very specialized in prenatal care. I know it's funny because I really didn't like babies back then.”
“Oh? That’s…nice.” Kat’s voice shudders. “And I wouldn’t call myself a badass for being SWAT. It…makes you question a lot of things about yourself for sure. It’s all in the interest of others though.”
My smile slowly fell, as I was scared if I might've made her upset. “I see, I understand. We both are doing jobs that help people, and probably had to endure some bad cases once in a while.”
“Did…did you ever find Kincade?”
Kincade. I haven't heard of that name since after moving Drisking.
I took a deep breath, as I responded. “I did manage to find Kincade after your disappearance. They never told me what happened, and I lost contact ever since. Last time I checked, Kincade moved to California.”
“Oh, thank god.” Kat sighs out of relief, as she takes a seat back down. “Knowing that girl, she’s living it up in LA. Well, I was actually in New York all this time. I thought it would be a good place to settle down. For what it was worth, the NYPD was good to me.”
“Oh I can tell she is. I followed her Instagram, and she's always posting pictures of parties and such.” I tucked a strand of hair in the back of my ear, while I pulled out my phone to show Kat Kincade’s page. “Even if they don't want to talk to me, I'm just super glad they're okay.”
I sometimes wonder why Kincade hasn't had contact with me yet, but deep inside I felt like they were somewhat upset with me. The strange thing was that once Kincade showed up, my mother just randomly disappeared. My father had always told me that she's just had it with us, and left to do her own life. However I never believed that story. Sure my mom was a raging drunk chain-smoker, but she always loved Lucy and I. Her just leaving out of the blue isn't in character, and I just know that something wrong might have occurred.
Kat inspects the page. I can tell it struck something in her. I knew from this point she was holding back a bit with her emotions but for some reason, this broke her. Suddenly I saw my childhood best friend break into a waterfall of sadness. She started to sob. As if she had a dam behind her eyes and they just burst.
“Kat.. Oh shit, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” I rushed towards Kat’s side, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.
It broke me to see Kat this way, yet I couldn’t help but wonder what made her let out her tears. My eyes suddenly landed at one of Kat’s wrist, a light brown scar was marred on her skin. It was half covered by her sleeve, its appearance was more like a stab wound than a slash. I could tell Kat noticed me staring at it, as she quickly covered it up. The sky was now in a vibrant orange and magenta hue, while the bright sun started to slowly settle down.
Kat finally regained her composure after a few minutes of apologizing profusely.
“I know.” Kat weakly pushes out from her lips through her tears. “I know you see them. I know I have a lot of explaining to do. I got that…from a mission that I’m not sure if you’re ready to hear.”
Leaning against her shoulder, I looked up at Kat with an understanding expression. “I think I’m ready to hear about this. Over these years, I wanted to know what happened in Drisking. I don’t want to stay ignorant anymore.”
“Let’s…” Kat wipes her eyes, only for more tears to take the others place. “Let’s go somewhere a little more private.”
∆∆∆
“As you enter into the Church of the Overthrown Gods.” Kat dramatically pauses. “You feel as if multiple eyes are watching you. As you look closer to the rotting wood altar, you see a tiny eye just peeking out…and then another…and then another…and then another… as they rise up from the altar you see they are on tendeles attached to a large spherical mass. You see 10 tenderals rise all with snake-like eyes darting around the room before meeting yours. As the large mass comes into view you see one large eye on it staring at you and an unnerving smile as it laughs intimidatingly at you. As you realize what is staring back at you is…a beholder…and that’s where we will leave off tonight’s session!”
Several protests fill the room. It wasn’t out of character for Kat to leave off on a cliffhanger, but this is what we have been waiting for since the end of 2008. And even a year later, Kat always leaves the carrot dangling over our heads.
“Hey,” Kat shrugs “I gotta keep you hooked or else our three month streak of all of you attending won’t keep going.”
“Oh, fuck you, Kat!” Kami rolls her eyes lightheartedly “We come back every week regardless.”
“Yeah, but it's more fun torturing you.” Kat giggled while combing through her long hair with her fingers.
Shaking my head, I took a sip on my already luke-warm Snapple, “Typical Kat. Why do you always gotta tease us like that? I was literally witnessing my character finally healing from a poison arrow and just to end at that. I totally can't wait till the next!”
“Thank you,” Kat nods before getting up and starting to pack up and the group follows suit. “I cannot wait for next session. It’s a big battle so I recommend you all start doing some research on Beholders to be ready, because this monster is really tough. Remember, we are starting the next session at level 12, and I’ll see you all soon!”
After about 10 minutes, the rest of the group left except for me. I like staying after sessions with Kat. I don’t understand why the other two people in the group don’t stay. It’s not even 9pm by the time we finished and they are already out the door.
It’s sophomore skip day tomorrow and I sure as hell know everyone will be participating so what’s the rush? Well, everyone except for Kat. From all the time I’ve known Kat up until this point, she never skipped a day or cut any corners when it came to her education. It was admirable but also frustrating. I cannot tell you how many plans I had to cancel because she wanted to study. I never understood why she was so serious about it. It’s like her life depended on her making good grades and being a shining student. I have to admit, I am jealous of her dedication to it.
I would typically leave her to her own devices when it came to school but just by looking at her, she looked like she deserved a break. With the exams and the constant verbal battles between her mother and her father, I can tell just by looking at her, the pressure is on her. I could say the same for my home situation, but I'm already used to it, that it is practically normal for me. Kat, on the other hand, really deserved a break, just this one time.
While I was playing with one of the d20 dice, gathering up courage, I asked, “Hey Kat? Whatcha going do tomorrow?”
“Oh, um.” Kat says not looking up from her notebook, making some notes for the next session. “Just going to school, I should be able to go to take our usual walks tomorrow after.”
A smile crept on my lips, as I definitely predicted Kat's answers. Sure, I did hear that the Sheriff in town was going to give tickets to those that didn't go to school, but I didn't really care about that. I just wanted to have a chill day with my friends. After all, I busted my ass to at least have passable grades.
“Hmm. Hey Kat, why don't we…you know,” I nudged her with my elbow. “Skip school tomorrow?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” Kat sighs.
“I know, I know. But I just feel like these days have been for us but we just have fun tomorrow.” I could tell that I was losing Kat already, her mind dead set on going to school. I tucked a strand on my blue hair behind my ear, as I followed Kat. “Kat, please. Sometimes I worry about you because you're working yourself out. Just this once, and I'll promise I'll try to raise my Geometry class to a B!”
“I suppose…” Kat thinks for a second. “It wouldn’t hurt to skip one day.”
“Hell yeah!” I tackled Kat, as I tried to spin her around in happiness. “I promise that you'll have the best day. That jackass Sheriff won't ruin our day. I'll make sure of it!”
“Alright! Alright!” Kat giggles “Fine. Just calm down.”
I feel a sense of relief coming from Kat like I somehow unlocked one shackle that she bore on her ankles. There’s still plenty, and this one is certainly not the heaviest but the littlest weight off of her is enough for her to appreciate.
I let her go as I dashed towards my Jack Skeleton backpack, fetching out my half torn notepad. “ I scribbled some of the plans I have for tomorrow. I was thinking we could dine on Prescott Artisan Sandwiches, and then maybe hike the trail over west of Crystal Lake. What do you think?”
“Yeah!” Kat exclaims. “I heard there’s going to be a few people there tomorrow. Probably could use the social interaction, or attempt to at least.”
“We'll have the lake to ourselves,” I chuckled, placing my notepad back to my back. I really did need a new notepad, however I remember my family was very tight on money at the time. “Oh I almost forgot that Kincade might be joining us too.”
“Sounds good to me.” Kat smiles. “Honestly, that girl needs to be a bit more interactive if you ask me.” Kat chuckles. “As if I’m one to talk.”
“That's why I invited her too. I feel like you girls could get along.” I then jokingly added, “Maybe you can indoctrinate her into playing DnD with us, eh?”
“I’m sure I can.” Kat giggles. “Alright, so are you staying the night tonight? I think I can take the car tomorrow so you can stay if you like.”
“I'll stay, but I should pick up Lucy. My mom said she left her by the Landys,” I rubbed my neck in frustration as I continued. “I hate how my mom just randomly abandons Lucy to strangers. Does she know there's creeps?”
My mother always had done this multiple times, even when I was Lucy's age. A seven year old like Lucy shouldn't be in conditions like this, and I knew damn well that my father won't be available till 7AM. I thought about maybe walking up to the Landys house, maybe it was like 3 blocks or so.
“I think I'll walk to get Lucy. You wouldn't mind my little sis joining in our sleepover, right?”
“I mean, I don't have a big problem with it. Honestly, prefer it to just be you and me but I won’t be kicking and screaming if she is here.”
“That's true,” I nervously laughed, “Either way, Lucy is pretty much a sweet kid, and she will probably be distracted playing with her ballet Barbie dolls.”
Peeping through the windows, the sky was pitch black, almost like a void swallowing the whole town. I took a deep breath, before heading out of the door. Before stepping a foot outside of the wooden porch, I called out. “I'll be back, Kat. If I don't come back, the Skinned Men might’ve caught me!”
“Oh, don’t say that!” Kat calls at me as I walk away. She didn’t seem offended more lighthearted but there was a little seriousness there.
Kat always believed in the supernatural. While all of us grew up and just accepted it was just an urban legend that wasn’t real, Kat believed it. Kat even dedicated an entire essay on the history of the Skinned Man, and where the legend originated from. Needless to say, there wasn’t much to go off of and because Kat is very committed to things, she decided to embellish the details a bit and even I knew that a lot of that stuff was all pulled out of thin air and had no actual weight to it. They were just urban legends that little kids would scare others with. Along those tales were the Triple Tree.
Everyone would carve their names in the Triple Tree, serving like a talisman to these Skinned Men. If you didn’t, then I guess you were fucked. I never really carved my name, for some damn reason, my dad never let me. The moon shined brightly, casting light to these liminal streets. I was already used to walking at night, but for some odd reason, something was off. Crossing the right side of the neighborhood, I caught some headlights shining through the bushes. It looked like it belonged to an old police cruiser, and that alone made me start running. I was not a fan of the officers here, plus I was definitely violating a curfew.
“C’mon, Pauly,” I uttered under my breath, jumping through some fences.
I landed on the backside of the Landy’s house, my knees landing on top of the pavement. Hissing in pain, I slowly wobbled towards the front side of the house. It was stupid of me to think that I would magically land on my feet, but then again I had the shitiest luck. Quickly, I knocked on the door three times, after the fourth knock, the white adorned door swung open. In front of me was a cinnamon brown haired 14 year old boy, who had that bored expression that every teenager had. I recognized that boy as Parker Landy, the youngest of the Landy family.
“Uh, can I help you?” Parker wrinkled his nose, while he adjusted his glasses.
I furrowed my brows, “I’m here for my sister. For Lucy.”
“Oh, okay. Um, I guess you can come in.”
Parker reluctantly ushered me inside, as I wasted no time to search for Lucy. There, located in the dinning, Lucy was drawing while Mrs. Landy was brushing her dark little locks of hair. She was wearing a baby pink ballet uniform, the one that my dad bought her for her birthday. Ecstatic, Lucy jumped up from the chair and darted to my direction. We bid farewell to Mrs. Landy, heading out into the night. However, I caught a glimpse of her face morphing into a sorrowful look. ‘She must have been worried for us,’ I thought, mainly because it was just two girls heading out, embracing the unforgiving night.
“Pauly, where’s mommy?” Lucy’s wide eyes looked at me, grabbing my hand ever so tightly.
I sighed, thinking how to word out an appropriate response, “She’s just working a lot in the diner. So we can afford your ballet classes,” I had lied, flashing an assurring smile. I didn’t want Lucy to know the truth, she was an innocent kid after all.
Crossing up that same street again, I could sense that we were almost close to safety. Or so I thought. A slow rumbling sound of an engine followed behind. It was pitch dark outside, so I couldn’t really tell what color the vehicle was, but I did recognize it. What my eyes could grapple from what little information it had at the time, it was just that damn old police cruiser. Just as I was about to run with Lucy, the dark tinted windows rolled down, revealing an old familiar face.
“Ah little Miss Rhoades. What brings you here past curfew, hmm?” Ex Sheriff Clery asked, while flashing a very wide smile. I remember him being the Sheriff since the 1950s, not before being replaced by Robocop Walker.
Lucy bounced up and down, as she exclaimed “Me and Pauly are going home! Mommy and Daddy are still at work!”
Clery’s gaze looked back at me, his grin growing ever so slightly larger. “Oh really? It’s quite dark out here, you girls might need a lift.”
“No thank-” “Yes please!” Lucy quickly cut me off as she threw the car door open.
She quickly slithered herself in the backseat, while I was too stunned to comprehend. It left me no choice but to take this impromptu ride. Trembling, I sat next to Lucy, shutting the car door behind me. A loud click followed, as both doors were locked.
The whole ride I was scared shitless. I didn’t know why, but I guess I scared myself alot reading Missing Persons cases. I mean, I just entered a car with a person I barely knew. Yes, I know he’s a cop and his entire job is to keep us safe, but I couldn’t help but feel this sense of unease creeping into my conscious mind. It might be from the hundreds of “Stranger Danger” PSAs I’ve been fed all my young life. Lucy probably noticed how tense I looked, latching herself onto my arm.
“It's okay Pauly, the Skinned Men won't catch us anymore. We're safe here!” Lucy nuzzled on my arm, clearly obvious about the situation.
Sheriff Clery let out a chuckle, adding on “Little Lucy's right. No need to worry about those monsters when you're the old sheriff, eh?”
I nervously laughed along, just wishing that we’ll be at our destination already. That just put me even more on edge. I decided to dare a glance at the interior back mirror and I saw a pair of eyes seemingly staring at me and my sister with a look that just sent a chill down my spine. I tried to rationalize that maybe I’m just imagining things but the way he was staring at us was undeniably unsettling.
It was not after a minute later we arrived. The whole minute felt like hours, rightfully so I bolted out of the cruiser with Lucy in my arms. Before reaching the front door, the older man called out, “Be careful next time. You won’t know what’s lurking around these parts.”
After that the police cruiser drove off into the dark void of the unknown. That sentence alone carried an unsettling meaning, yet I could never pinpoint why. Objectively, it was quite normal. It was just a man showing a kind gesture but my gut was screaming not to trust this person. I tried to just brush it off as a misunderstanding but it was so strange I couldn’t.
∆∆∆
“So,” Kat began. “The place still has Prescott’s name written all over the place even after everything that happened?”
“I believe so,” I took a deep breath before continuing, “I really hope it’ll be over now. Sometimes, I wished I could live on with life. Like nothing happened, you know?”
The melody of the forest sung around us as we took in the fresh day’s air and the warm embrace of the midsummer’s sun. We’ve walked through this forest hundreds of times before but it’s like discovering uncharted territories every time we step foot in it. It feels different now. It seems bleaker than it was when we were children. Maybe it’s just an optical illusion or that every memory of my childhood feels like a dream.
“God,” Kat scoffs. “I’d scrub that name off the earth if I could.”
“I have to admit, everytime I see that name, something bad always happens. It's almost as if it was cursed.” My gaze shifted back to the abundance of trees, each of them being so eerily identical. “Thomas Prescott really did sell his soul, and everyone had to pay the price.”
“Don’t remind me.” Kat almost growls like a wolf to a degree that caught me off guard.
Shit, I definitely struck a nerve there. Why? Why did that set her off the way it did? I tried to change the subject into something else. I really didn’t want to upset Kat any further, I felt guilty just by saying that.
“It’s so silent here, I don’t know if I should be on edge or relaxed.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like that. I don’t know what came over me.”
Kat’s eyes dart around before she runs her fingers through her hair with a sigh. It didn’t occur to me until just now that she had been watching everywhere and everything all at once. Every little movement her eyes locked onto. Could be just a natural reaction. I’m sure her line of work requires her to be hyper-vigilant so maybe it carries into her normal day-to-day life.
“You don’t need to apologize, Kat. I was the one who was pushing too much.” The wind blew softly, remnants of leaves danced in the air. It reminded alot about how life is, always pushing you in unpredictable directions. “I was thinking after this, maybe we should help each other out. My therapist gave me the advice that some wounds can’t heal by themself.”
“I can help you. I don’t really need help myself. When I was on the field, I was given state mandated therapy. It was important to do so to not go actually insane from all the messed up things we see. Trust me, there’s a reason why a lot of us quit after a few years of service.”
“ I see,” I gave Kat a crooked smile, “You're resilient, that's what I admired about you.”
Even after all those years, Kat still had those strong traits of being smart and strong. I could help but feel proud of her, and I wished her the best. I got closer to Kat, as I leaned on one of the oak trees nearby.
With a playful tone, I asked. “So when are you gonna show me how to use one of those?” I pointed at her gun.
“You?” Kat laughs. “I thought you hated loud noises?”
I shrugged, raising one of my brows. “Still do. It's just in case anything goes south. Or maybe I wanna impress somebody.”
“I’ll teach you soon. No doubt about that. I don’t have any ear protection on me and this beauty can get pretty loud.”
As we took in the forest’s lush surroundings, I noticed something that I haven’t seen before despite being out here for god knows how many times. There was a perfectly healthy tree in front of us but it seemed as if the bark had been ripped and torn definitely unnaturally; it had to have been done by someone, not an animal.
Kat and I exchange confused looks as we walk closer to the tree. Then, it all came together. I didn’t want to think that someone would have done this again. Not after the original was burnt to the ground a long time back. On the tree there were signatures. It sent an ungodly chill through my whole body. I looked over to Kat to see her reaction and she looked like she was frozen in time. With a look of shock and fear instilled upon her very body.
“It can't be. There's a new one here, but how?” My mouth was agape as I reached to touch the bark of the tree. My fingers grazed against each little individual signature. Each of them being unique, much like their owners’ names.
I look back at Kat. I realized I was mistaken, or perhaps it just shifted. Her look, it wasn't out of fear, no, it was out of resentment and hate and a boiling rage that I could tell is about to spill through. I know that even if I were to manage to say anything in this situation, I couldn’t prevent it from all coming out. What could I say? This isn’t anything I’ve seen from Kat. She always had a way to relieve her own anger but this was an anger that even the cool-minded Kat could not keep under control. Like a wildfire that had found a negligent camper’s gasoline can.
“Kat–”
“They think they can control me even in death but they can’t.” Kat whispers to herself quickly. I barely had time to process before the wildfire finally found the gas. “THEY FUCKING CAN’T!”
Kat lifts her shirt slightly, revealing her concealed gun. A Pit Viper. She draws it at a speed I barely had time to comprehend as she switches off the safety and takes a stance.
“Wait! Kat!”
That was all I could get out before I was overtaken by an ear splitting explosion. I barely had time to register the second one before the third went off. It was the same for the fourth and the fifth. My ears rang the loudest they have ever in my life as the pain in my ears set in and the agony of my head throbbing so hard that I thought my brain would burst from it alone. The sounds echoed through the forest. All the birds and the bugs and creatures stopped in unison as if Kat slain them herself.
And then.
Silence.

FYI, this is a story COLLECTION. Lots of standalones technically. So, you can basically start to read at any chapter, no pre-read of the other chapters needed technically (other than maybe getting better descriptions of characters than: Adam Vir=human, Krill=antlike alien, Sunny=tall alien, Conn=telepathic alien). The numbers are (mostly) only for organization of posts and continuity.
OC Written by Charlie Stastarrfallknightrise,
Typed up and then posted here by me.
Proofreading and language check for some chapters by u/Finbar9800 u/BakeGullible9975 u/Didnotseemecomein and u/medium_jock
Future Lore and fact check done by me.
Domestic assault? Whaaaat? Noooo! That’s just normal romantic Drev foreplay!
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Here is the link to the master-post.
Sunny left the room in an uproar to look for Adam.
The translation unit was almost overloaded with the noise behind her, but she didn't need it to understand the human's words as they yelled at each other, both sides polarizing for and against her and Adam as she stepped from the room.
Truth be told it didn't bother Sunny much, having spent her entire life rejected by her own mother, having only recently gotten over that, she found that dealing with other people wasn't so hard, but she knew what this meant for Adam as close to his family as he was.
She found him outside on the deck pacing back and forth with his hands behind his back. She was surprised to see more anger in his expression than fear or doubt. His chin was held high, jaw clenched.
She knew that look.
"Are you ok?”
He swiveled to face her, his face flushed with red.
"I think I might have screwed up."
His voice was calm.
Sunny tilted her head,
“What's done is done."
He paused and nodded in agreement.
She offered up the plate she had brought him,
"Are you going to eat, or should I just throw this away?”
He paused looking at the plate and then looked up at the sky and sighed deeply.
"No I... I have something I need to do."
And then to her surprise he turned back on his heel and marched back into the house, leaving her standing confused in his wake. Still holding the plate, she hurried after him, finding she had to jog lightly to keep up with his strides despite him being a foot shorter than her as he marched through the living room and back into the dining room where the tumult had only gotten louder. Martha was standing alongside her husband across the table from her parents and an uncle. David was red in the face standing next to his mother as Jordan held onto his arm trying to calm him down. Uncle Ben and his family Sat wide eyed in silence as Maya herded the children out of the room and into the next. David and Jordan's son had burst into tears at the uproar and Kimber was valiantly trying to calm him down as she was led away.
Eris sat shrunken into the corner, holding her hoodie down over her ears rocking back and forth seeming like she was suffering some kind of breakdown.
Adam paused at the head of the table and tried to shout to be heard over the tumult, but despite his best efforts he was being drowned out.
Sunny pulled up next to him drawing in a breath to give them her best war cry.
They had tested it at one point a Drev at the height of shouting could reach 140 decibels which was as loud as a gunshot, but just as she was about ready to start, Eris took to her feet hands balled into fists.
"Everyone just, STOP!!!"
Her voice wasn't very loud, but the psychic wave that she produced hit the entire room like an explosion. The humans rocked on their feet, hands to their heads. A couple fell out of their seats clutching their ears. Sunny felt dizzy, and when she was finally able to look up the room was a picture of silent carnage, almost akin to a renaissance painting. Adam's family members were hunched or crouched next to their seats, their hands over their ears. Some lay on the floor looking shocked. Uncle Ben was holding a shattered glass.
Adam was the only one still standing, but instead of addressing the room he hurried across the floor to where Eris was still sitting on her seat, hands over her ears. He knelt in front of her and gently took her hands,
"I'm so sorry Eris, here..."
He paused and then turned towards where Thoms was sitting hand still to his head,
"Thomas can you go get the car started and maybe take Eris out for a little?”
The other man nodded dumbly, still holding his head as he got up,
Adam was still holding Eris hands,
"Hey, hey look at me. Thomas is going to go start the car, and I want you to go with him somewhere quieter, ok? While I get all of this sorted out. I'm so sorry kid, this is my fault."
She shook her head, but he wouldn't hear it, kissing the top of her head through her hoodie and then helping her to her feet where she hurried outside.
The entire room remained silent as Adam waited for the sound of the retreating car before he turned back to the room.
The look on his face was thunderous, and Sunny, realizing that she was not needed, plopped herself down in Thomas's vacated chair between a wide-eyed Grandpa Vir, and one of the aunts, and pulled the big salad bowl towards her. If she was going to be entertained, she might as well have a snack while doing it.
Adam, still standing at the head of the table looked a bit nonplussed as he stared at her, and she watched as the entire family's eyes turned to look at her. She crunched slowly on another piece of iceberg lettuce and motioned for them to continue.
”Give ‘em hell tiger! Don’t mind me.”
Adam took a deep breath and sighed before beginning,
"How DARE you!?"
The room was still silent.
He turned to make eye contact with everyone in the room, his single eye staring at them with such condemnation that many lowered their heads,
"Fighting, in front of the kids and guests like this!? It's reprehensible! Absolutely disgusting!”
He pounded his fist against the table,
"I thought you all were better than this!”
They looked down.
"When I was young MY family taught me to be accepting and inclusive of everyone. I was taught to be polite, caring and even love those who I disagreed with."
He paused for a moment gathering his thoughts,
"Since joining the UNSC I have met a lot of people and done a lot of things and during that time I have had the opportunity to better learn courage and compassion in a way that I don't think others will ever have the privilege of doing. So, shame on you, shame on you all for behaving like this after teaching me what you tried to teach."
He jabbed a finger at Martha's parents,
"You two especially, all dinner I have had to sit here and listen while the two of you made embarrassing and xenophobic comments at the behest of my friend..."
He paused then shook his head,
"No scratch that, the Love of my life, and my girlfriend, and I am sick and tired of hearing it! Plus, all of that bestiality bullshit!”
He slammed his hands against the table again,
"Bestiality!? Seriously!? That’s the most insulting thing I have ever heard in my entire life!!! She's NOT an ANIMAL, she is a sentient thinking person who is, and I have no DOUBT in my mind of this, waaay smarter than I will ever be. There is nothing wrong here, the only thing wrong is your fear and your prejudices. Finally, I find someone who I really care about and for some reason unknown to me that has to be some sort of problem?"
He glowered around the room.
Uncle Ben sat in his seat looking almost apologetic. Martha's mother looked as if she was about to cry while her husband looked silently defiant. Grandpa and Grandma Vir just looked on awkwardly.
"So does anyone have a problem with that?"
He went silent as the room waited.
It was then that Jim Vir, who had been, up until this point, sitting, still eating his dinner, picked up his glass and raised it,
"Here here!”
Jeremy, Maya, and David quickly grabbed their drinks too and raised them with their dad. Martha did the same, and eventually Grandma Vir raised her glass as well. A few members of the family seemed surprised, but followed suit. Of course, not everyone joined in. Uncle Ben's wife didn’t, and Martha's parents didn't, a few others were either too shocked or disgusted to do so. Once it was all over Martha's father stood, took his plate and walked into the study, shutting the door behind him leaving his wife sitting tearfully at the table.
Everyone waited…
Adam looked at his mother.
She motioned him to sit, and he did, and she took her seat as well.
Sunny watched as the family slowly groaned back into place as David forced a conversation between himself and uncle Ben. Eventually the table was speaking again, and the children slowly filtered back in. Jordan went out to comfort their son, who was brought back red eyed and puffy cheeked, but happy enough. Kimber, smart for her age, walked in and hugged Adam once, before running over to sit next to Sunny. Both Waffles and Jeffrey had come over to sit with Adam, Waffles resting on his feet and Jeffrey slithering out his human leg.
The table remained tense.
Sunny didn't mind. She was almost having fun occasionally shooting a glance over at Adam who remained stiff and straight backed.
Martha's mother eventually opened her mouth in a gargantuan effort to seem polite, looked at Sunny,
"So uh... Sunny why don't you tell us about your family?”
Adam stiffened the fork halfway to his lips, David spilled water on his lap and Martha choked on her food.
"Oh… My mother tried to throw me into a volcano when I was born and my father is dead. It was a glorious death though, Adam was pretty much directly responsible for it. As for my mother, she tried to kill me, so Adam beat her unconscious with a rock, then she later came back and tried to kill him, so I crippled her and now she’s as good as dead, rotting in the GA’s biggest, most secured prison.”
Someone's glass shattered, uncle Ben tipped his plate onto his lap and Maya's husband looked as if he wanted to sink through the floor.
The table went silent again.
Across the table there was a sudden snorting noise, and Sunny turned her head to see Jim holding a glass to his lips. His eyes were squinted shut. He slowly lowered the glass from his mouth other hand over his mouth, shoulders shaking.
The entire table stared at him.
It continued to shake for a little bit until a small squeak escaped him, and then he could no longer contain himself as full low laughter broke from him, shaking the table and causing the glassware to clatter.
Sunny was the second person to begin laughing until the entire table was uneasily going along with it.
"Oh heavens!"
Jim punted,
"What a clusterfuck!”
"Jim!"
Martha scolded him as he continued to giggle,
"This couldn't get worse, could it? Like objectively more awkward?"
Adam was smiling slightly as his father laughed, taking another sip of his drink. Sunny hummed low in her chest setting the empty salad bowl back on the table.
Jim waved a hand at Adam,
"Go on, get out of here before it gets worse."
He continued to laugh. Adam looked relieved and thanked his dad before standing. Sunny did the same, and in a seemingly random act of defiance Adam took her hand as he walked out. Sunny hummed softly as she was dragged towards the front door and outside.
He paused to take a deep breath once they were out on the front porch.
He turned to look at her and she tilted her head,
"So, does this mean we are a thing again?"
Adam paused, withered as if he was going to back out and then set his jaw straightening up with a deep breath,
"If you'd take me back, then yes."
She tilted her head as if thinking about it, but seeing the encroaching panic on the man's face she nodded,
"Yes obviously, I'm sorry, I won't tease you anymore."
The look of relief on his face was almost heartbreaking as he grabbed her hand again,
"Come on."
"Come on what?"
"We are going on a date."
"Oh really?"
"Yes, really now get in the damn car before I have a heart attack."
"Mmmmm you're kinda cute when you order me around."
He raised an eyebrow at her from over the car roof,
"Oh yeah? Well, there's more where that came from."
She hummed again as she took her seat, the car doors slamming on either side of them. She listened to the engine as it thrummed to life. She glanced over at him, only to see him whiteknuckling the steering wheel as they drove down the gravel drive.
Sunny wasn't entirely sure if that was because of what had just happened or because Adam hated driving. They passed Thomas and Eris heading back and both paused in the road windows rolled down.
He leaned his head out the window,
"Hey you guys ok?”
Thomas nodded,
"Yeah Eris suggested milkshakes, so we went out."
He reached over with a closed fist, and Eris gave him a fist bump,
"Never told me how fucking cool my niece was!”
Adam smiled,
"I thought it was obvious."
"You guys leaving?"
"Just for a little while."
"How did things go after we left?”
Adam shrugged,
"I chewed out Mom's parents and then we finished dinner, got so awkward, dad laughed so hard he almost pissed himself, you know the usual family reunion shit."
Thomas snorted,
"Well you two crazy kids have some fun. I return to the house of Evil."
Adam laughed and the two of them slowly began to pull away.
Sunny watched them go and then turned back to Adam,
"So, you've never really called it a date before. A human courting ritual I assume?”
He nodded.
"What should I expect?"
"Well, we are going to go out and have dinner then maybe see a movie and go for a walk."
"We just had dinner."
"Yeah and I'm already hungry."
The two of them laughed and he took a long slow breath as they pulled onto the main highway.
He was a man of his word, and she got a second dinner before going to see a movie. It was an action movie, as the only kind of movies Sunny could really pay attention to, though Adam said she tended to ruin them by judging the realistic nature of the fight choreography before she pointed out that he always judged the planes.
[…]
It was later that night walking out of the movie theater laughing, that they fell back into step with each other. Sunny lifted her head to the night air breathing in slowly. She loved the smell of Earth. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because she associated it with humans, and that was associated with Adam. He took her down a partially lit pathway into one of the parks illuminated by the faint yellow glow of the lanterns. Other people were walking here too, and all around them bioluminescent bugs winked in the darkness.
Adam reached down to pick up a discarded stick, which he spun between his hands absently.
Sunny was just enjoying the air when she noticed a sudden change in his posture. It was only that notice that saved her, and she ducked as he swung, narrowly missing her beak by a few inches.
She dodged backwards keeping low to the ground as he advanced grinning.
"That is hardly fair, attacking me when I'm unarmed."
"Is it my fault you weren't prepared?”
Sunny dodged back, grabbing a stick from the ground and bringing it up to meet his downward stroke. She threw his attack to the side and jabbed for his middle though he backed away at the last second.
Their fight only grew more elaborate as they danced up and down the walkways, leaping up onto benches and playground equipment as they ranged across the park. Startled couples walking in the darkness jolted to the side as they raced past. Sunny cut down, shearing Adam's stick straight in half.
He looked down in surprise, ducked under her swing and then pulled back coming at her again, but changing up his style so he was now using the two sticks as weapons. Sunny found it rather hard to keep him back with two weapons against her one, though her reach was far superior. She caught him once in the side, but gave it up for a kick in the chest. She staggered back and he came in overhead with both of the sticks which she caught on hers. They stayed locked there for a moment before he reached out a foot and tipped her onto the grass.
She fell and he fell with her weapons still locked.
She looked up at him, the UV blue of his stripes rendered more purple by the dim light.
Sunny felt something rather strange just then and let go, flipping him onto his back in the grass where he lay breathing hard.
"You pulled your punch."
She grunted sitting up.
"I well yeah... I like you, I don't want to hurt you."
"You know where I come from since you like me, you should hit me harder.”
"Where I come from that is called domestic violence."
They laughed again and then paused still breathing hard.
"I feel... strange."
He propped himself up on his elbow to look over at her,
"What do you mean?”
She explained and he raised an eyebrow,
"Well, that's good, that's kind of how you are supposed to feel after what we just did I guess."
"What do you even mean."
She stared at him confused and he inched over, pushing her back into the grass before holding his hands up,
"May I define: foreplay. Now I’m not going to define you what “being horny” is, you can ask Ramirez about that… on second thought don’t, better not tell him about that…"
"Jerk."
She kicked him back onto the ground where he lay in the dirt.
"Since when did you know how to flirt?”
"Apparently since about ten minutes ago."
He looked over at her,
"Since when did you even know what flirting is?”
She grumbled,
"We have flirting on my planet."
"Punching someone in the face does not count as flirting."
"Then clearly you don't understand true romance."
He continued to laugh some more, but just then they heard a sharp siren and then were lit up by bright blue and red light. Adam sat up quickly, as did Sunny, and the two of them sat there in surprise as two figures walked towards them from the darkness, one of them holding a flashlight. Adam held up his hand to cover his eyes as the two police officers walked forward.
"Everything alright here?"
They asked, looking at Sunny in something akin to shock or awe.
Adam blushed,
"Uh yeah... Is something wrong, officer?"
"Just got a call a few minutes ago about a... Drev and some guy beating the shit out of each other in the park, that wasn't you two was it?”
Adam was blushing, though the lighting was his saving grace.
"Uh yea, that was us, but we were just... ahem… play fighting."
They glanced between him and Sunny, not entirely sure what to do.
Sunny nodded at them,
"Yes, we are sorry, and will try to tone it down next time."
The two officers glanced between the two of them, and one of them called in a false alarm on the radio before heading back to his car. Sunny And Adam ended up laughing again as the two men left them to be.
"Maybe we should go somewhere more private…”
"Probably a good idea."
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Want to find a specific one, see the whole list or check fanart?
Here is the link to the master-post.
Intro post by me
OC-whole collection
Patreon of the author
Thanks for reading! As you saw in the title, this is a cross posted story written by starrfallknightrise and I'll just upload some of it here for you guys, if you are interested and want to read ahead, the original story-collection can be found on tumblr or wattpad to read for free. (link above this text under "OC:..." ) It is the Empyrean Iris story collection by starfallknightrise. Also, if you want to know more about the story collection i made an intro post about it, so feel free to check that out to see what other great characters to look forward to! (Link also above this text). I have no affiliations to the author; just thought I’d share some of the great stories you might enjoy a lot!
Obviously, I have Charlie’s permission to post this and for the people already knowing the stories, or starting to read them: If you follow the link and check out the story you will see some differences. I made some small (non-artistic) changes, mainly correcting writing mistakes, pronoun correction and some small additional info here and there of things which were not thought of/forgotten or even were added/changed in later stories (like the “USS->UNSC” prefix of Stabby, Chalar=/->Sunny etc). As well as some "biggemajor" changes in descriptions and info’s for the same stringency/continuity reason. That can be explained by the story collection being, well a story collection at the start with many standalone-stories just starring the same people, but later on it gets more to a stringent storyline with backstories and throwbacks. (For example Adam Vir has some HEAVY scars over his body, following his bones, which were not really talked about up till half the collection, where it says it covers his whole body and you find out via backflash that he had them the whole time and how he got them, they just weren't mentioned before. However, I would think a doctor would at least see these scars before that, especially since he gets analyzed, treated and goes shirtless/in T-shirts in some stories). So TLDR: Writing and some descriptions are slightly changed, with full OK from the author, since he himself did not bother to correct these things before.

Nice to meet you I'm Tomas age 31 in oklahoma. I'm tall white long brown hair. I'm a bubbly cheerful introvert with a splash of extrovert thrown in. I'm random kinda crazy but always happy to Include others that are close to me.
The I donts: I don't smoke weed I don't smoke cigs I don't have kids I don't need monies" I make plenty.". I don't give out photos until I'm sure we click.
I'm not here to waste your time. I prefer we have some fun and watch movies or play games together.
Warnings I'm looking for a partner not freind"im happy to make freinds but my end goal is a LTR.". I'm not planing on leaving oklahoma. Idk if I want a family "I'm not against it but if you already have kids or want them idk if I'll be a good father figure." I don't follow any religion "I'm not atheist I just don't follow any religion tho I do belive there is a god." I swing right politically with "some" left side beliefs tossed in.
Requirements
Please have an account older than a month as I'm interested in getting to know you and being able to see your interests helps.
Please don't expect to swap photos day one." I'm a tall white guy in oklahoma city." Work with that and I don't expect a photo of you.
I work a very stable job that keeps me buzzy in the mornings to afternoons so message me and I'll message back.
Bonus if your local I'll take you out to eat at yummy food places where I promise I can ramble about random things for hours. Tho please allow a few days to pass of talking back and forth so i know we gonna click as sitting in a nice place while we eat and stare at our phones is not a date. If you read this far tell me your fav color so I know your not a scammer.
Thanks for reading

What is your purpose?
I remember 10 years ago when I started Monday Messages. These blogs have something that I have learned from my Bishop Henry Fernandez sermons on Sundays. Every week, he gives us such a powerful word, and I try to pass on his words of wisdom.
What is your purpose?
Finding your purpose will change the course of your life. It will ignite the fire in you to live out your God giving purpose. When you are living out your purpose, it is fun. It doesn't feel like work. It is then when you realize this is your purpose.
Your passion drives your purpose! The worst thing is to try to force your purpose in things you think. If you have a certain career or a certain title, then you think that is your purpose.
I have a friend of mine who went to law school, passed the bar, and became a lawyer, just to realize she hated it. She went back to school and became a teacher because that was her passion and her calling. She has never looked back, and after 25 years, she recently retired, loving what she did until the very end. Yes, she made a lot less money. Yes, many would say it's a less prestigious job, but it is what she was called to do. It filled her soul.
Some of us think the title and money are what it's all about, but is it worth it? Is it worth selling your soul to go to a place every day you call "Hell" a place you hate? Is that Prada purse worth it?
Some people try to find their purpose in others or in relationships. You are hoping that another person will fulfill you or that they will point you to your gift. Their opinions may change the path you're supposed to take because maybe they don't think you can do it, and you may start believing it as well. You are never going to your purpose in that place.
My ex always told I couldn't do anything, that "he was the breadwinner" in the family. He said I was useless. I didn't know my purpose back then. I only wrote because I was dying inside, and for years, I couldn't tell anyone about what I was going through, so instead, I wrote. My gift saved my life, for without it, I surely would have lost my mind.
Never leave it up to people to tell you who you are! You need to know your own worth. You need to find your own purpose! We need to find out what our purpose is and to live out a life that should be filled with joy because of that purpose.
So you ask what people get from their hard work? They get passion, and they get to go to a job that doesn't feel like one. They get to do something that fills them with joy. That is what you get for finding your purpose and working hard at it.
Even though you can't see the scope of God's work from beginning to end, trust me, it is there. There is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can, doing what we love. People should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are the gifts from God.
So today, my friends, if you are not sure of your purpose, start by looking at the things you're running away from. That is usually the thing that is your purpose. Think about what you love to do, that fills you with joy that you would do if money wasn't an issue. Something that makes time flies while you're doing it, that my friend is your God-given purpose.
And sometimes the disasters in our life make us come back to our purpose, make us rethink “The what are we here for” question. Take a leap of faith and go after it, one thing for sure, you will never regret it.
“Be the change you want to see”

My first experience with TTRPGs was when I joined the DND club in 8th grade. This was a while ago so I might have gaps in my memory, especially considering my mental health at the time. Middle school was a very bad time for me and I've always been very creative and imaginative, so I was looking forward to finding an escape in a fun fantasy world and becoming someone else. That did not happen. Instead I got a very stressful year long task to stop my party members from destroying themselves and everything around them, while trying to appease a very harsh DM that was there via nepotism.
TLDR: My first campaign was a mess because my party members were absolutely feral, our DM got away with everything because his mother was the teacher leading the club, and I spent the entire campaign miserably trying to keep everyone alive and together so I was unable to roleplay or develop my character. I missed one session and they blamed me for something they did while I was gone that was so horrible it killed all of our pets, including many of mine.
To start, I'll establish the characters. Obviously I will not be using any real names, and I will use the same names for both the player and their characters.
First, my friend Michael (who was a pleasant surprise, considering I didn't know he had also joined the club) made a rogue. He was either human or half-elf or something. He's chill, but a little neurotic. He obsesses over things and will focus on a task until it's completion.
A boy, Elliot, was a human paladin. His character was the tallest of the group by far, which was funny when considering his friend, Rory, was a gnome cleric and therefore the shortest. They were kind of a dynamic duo.
Then there was Kaya. Kaya was my "best friend" throughout all of middle school. I refused to believe it at the time, but she was terribly abusive to me. You'll see a glimpse into how that manifests later. She played an elven... rogue. I pointed out that having two rogues was probably going to unbalance the team a little, but Michael made his character first and Kaya was edge lord supreme so she refused to budge. She named her character after a Homestuck character, then declared her alignment to be chaotic evil. Elliot said that his paladin would never team up with a chaotic evil rogue, and the DM agreed that it wouldn't make much sense for them to be in a party together, so she begrudgingly agreed to change it to chaotic neutral. Her play-style did not reflect that change.
Then there was me. My character was a half elf who was either a wizard or a sorcerer, I can't recall. She was chaotic good, at first, but that quickly changed to neutral good. She was kind and empathetic and absolutely nothing else because I never got the opportunity to develop her, and you'll see why.
As for the DM, Aiden, he was... interesting. He was a high school student that came to DM for the middle school DND club because his mother was the teacher that ran it. More on him as we progress through the story.
I remember being a little disappointed because one of the DMs for the club was a teacher that I liked a lot, but he was already running a campaign.
Session zero was just character creation, really, there was no actual play that meeting, which was fine since we were all new to the game and needed help making character sheets. They made us roll for absolutely everything, including height, weight, and age. I found this amusing because I got fairly good rolls and my "best friend" Kaya got a middle aged short and stout character which she was deeply annoyed about. I teased her about it a little because she always made fun of my height (I'm 4'10", and was probably honestly an inch or two shorter back then). She did not take kindly to the teasing and got really upset and demanded to reroll, but we were short on time and those rolls weren't even that relevant so we just continued.
Aiden made me roll for what spells I got initially, but he let me choose one myself. I chose Charm Person because I thought it would be pretty helpful. Then I rolled and got Feather Fall (and I think I also got Shield? Though I might have gotten it later). I was disappointed because I didn't get any that would do damage. We all started at level 1. I didn't get any cantrips... I think I asked about them but he said to not worry about it so I listened to him.
The first real session, we were put in a charming little town with an undead problem. It was a good setup and a simple introduction for us as new players. All of the townsfolk in that village were named Hector, which I thought was delightful. So we'll call the starting village Hectorville. We decided to browse the shops while it was daylight and get equipped. Given freedom of choice for the first time in a game like this, Kaya and I instantly went and bought 30 live chickens between the two of us. I think 10 were mine and 20 were hers. We never really did anything with the chickens, we just thought it was funny to have 30 chickens trailing us at all times. That was the only chaotic thing I managed to do the entire game. I also bought a horse, which took a huge chunk of my funds but I loved her, I think I named her Eclipse. I might have also bought a dog, though I could've gotten him later I really don't remember. Either way I spent a LOT of my funds on animals. These animals are important later.
When we were in one of the shops, while we were having a lovely discussion with the shopkeeper, Artist Hector, Kaya was looking around for any particularly valuable items. There was an expensive enchanted necklace in a display case, and of course her first instinct was to steal it. I tried to tell her no, as we just started in this town and we should stay in good standing with the locals, but she waited a bit and went for it anyway. I think she failed and Artist Hector yelled at her.
After we did the initial quest of taking out a few of the undead, we were tasked by an elderly man to head to a windmill a little ways away from Hectorville to get rid of the wolves that had taken it over. I think the windmill also had something to do with the source of the undead. I managed to convince the old man to guide us to the windmill, though he waited a good distance away for us to avoid getting into any danger himself.
Long story short, we were absolutely no match for these wolves. We were torn to shreds and had a TPK. We were all really bummed out, and Aiden gave us mercy for the first and last time. We woke up in Hectorville, but at a cost. The old man had dragged us all back, and he had died from the strain of it all. I was super sad and I suggested that we go pay our respects at his grave. When we got there, I tried to do a little bit of roleplay and say a few words in honor of the old man, but Kaya immediately jumped in and asked if she could dig up his grave and rob his corpse. I was absolutely horrified and pleaded with her to reconsider and have some respect for him. She wouldn't listen and I told her that he probably wouldn't even have anything good on him anyways since he was just an old guy from a small town. The other players seemed kind of amused but stayed out of it, though they seemed to think it was slightly too disrespectful to do as well.
Obviously she didn't listen and she found a shovel and dug up his grave. All he had on his corpse was like a copper piece, a ring, and a picture of his wife or something. She was disappointed even though I'd warned her that would be the case. She wanted to dig up more graves but we voted to leave the graveyard to prevent her from getting us kicked out of the town.
The pattern begins.
Our journey continues, we travel, we go on little side quests, we get into combat, I'm basically useless in most combat scenarios since I have no damage spells and only have like, a dagger.
I started to notice that the DM is a little harsh. He'll make fights a little too difficult, enforce strange rules, etc. It's fine, it's nothing we can't work around (at first). We pretty much never did any actual roleplay, and when we did we were very awkward about it because we never got the chance to practice and get comfortable. Every time I went on for more than a sentence or two, Kaya would butt in and take control of the conversation or end the dialogue entirely with one of her antics. My character was not allowed to develop into a person, she was just the mediator trying desperately to hold onto four leashes.
I genuinely cannot remember if there was a main quest. I think he just kind of kept throwing various smaller quests at us, which was alright but I'm not sure if it ever felt like we were actually progressing. It was basically just us doing whatever we wanted, which actually meant everyone else in the party getting to do whatever they wanted and me trying to keep everyone from dying, or getting too separated and off track, or putting a comically high bounty on our heads, things like that.
At some point we meet an incredibly tall orange man. I'm talking comically tall, and not proportionally that wide, and he had like a little smiley face I think. His name was Orange. We loved him dearly. He essentially joined the party, and we could call him whenever we needed him.
At some point Elliot and Rory had an idea. Establish the Church of Orange. We all agreed, I was very on board since it was funny and harmless and could be a good side task to work on for the duration of the game. We built a little chapel and recruited some members and Orange was kind of just chilling, he didn't seem to mind.
Elliot and Rory decided that their characters should get married at the chapel. This was a spur of the moment decision and was one of the better roleplaying moments. Kaya surprisingly didn't butt in at all but honestly I think it was just because she was a fujoshi and weirdly obsessed with gay men. After they got married, they asked if they could adopt Orange as their strange son. They did so, and doted on him a lot. They were very proud of their boy.
After a little, though, they adopted me too for some reason. It was fine for a second before it quickly devolved into them berating me and praising Orange for no reason at all. They were incredibly harsh to my character and I asked if I could disown them but Aiden said no. Eventually they must've not found it that funny anymore so they stopped and essentially dropped that plotline.
Whenever someone missed a session, Aiden would make one of the remaining players take over and play both characters throughout the session. This included making important decisions on behalf of the player, with absolutely no restrictions. I thought this was a very bad idea and suggested we just have the character follow behind quietly or be off doing something else for the session, but Aiden doubled down and I quickly relented. I made it a point to never miss a session if I could help it.
One time, a few months in, Elliot missed a session and I was assigned his character. We got to a point where we had to all jump over a river of lava, and we had to roll to succeed. I rolled too little for Elliot's character. I begged Aiden to let me reroll or just let Elliot's character live because it wouldn't be fair to kill his character off when he wasn't there. He said absolutely not and Elliot's character fell in the lava and died.
I was very upset about this, and after the session I went to the club leader. I told her what happened and how he was frequently very harsh in his rulings, making it more stressful than fun. He was her son, so she defended him and brushed it off entirely. She also said he was autistic, so I should just let him do whatever. I am also autistic, but I didn't know it at the time. I did, however, know that my older sister had autism, and I'd known several other autistic people in my life. I empathized and understood that autism can make it very hard to understand tone and social cues and such, I struggle with that myself, but that didn't mean that she should baby him and never correct him on his mistakes. While my sister and others treat it as an explanation, he treated it as an excuse.
I mentioned his DMing style seeming odd or ruining the fun to her several times but she always took his side, so eventually I gave up.
Thankfully, when Elliot returned, he wasn't upset with me. I apologized profusely but he was very chill about it. He was a little bummed but he was content with making a new character. I don't remember what character he made after that, honestly.
At some point Michael's character also died, but Michael is the kind of guy who takes that in stride and moves on no problem. His character wasn't really developed anyways so I'm not sure he was even that attached to him. His new character was pretty similar. He was honestly the person who gave me the least amount of headaches and he is still my friend to this day. Shoutout to Michael!
We had a portal arc where we keep finding portals and going in without thinking it through, much to my protest.
Antics ensue, things happen, we go to a sandwich dimension where everything is made of sandwiches, there's a sandwich version of Michael's dead character, I find a breaded chicken (alive) and I adopt it, it's delightful. Kaya is still a constant headache and getting us into trouble, the other three are no help and honestly Elliot and Rory get into an equal amount of antics but they make it less of my problem.
We go on a quest in the ocean in a Bioshock-like underwater structure, Kaya is Kaya and upsets a large squid and we spend the rest of the session in squid-court for squid harassment.
There's a point where we're about to have a TPK, we're all on low HP and there's seemingly no hope. I feel useless, magic fire is closing in on us, and I suddenly have an idea. I ask if I can use my magic shield around us to protect us from the flames. He says yes. FINALLY! I'm useful! It's a really good day for me!
Then the absolute worst thing happens. I miss one session. Just one.
I come back mid siege. We're the ones sieging the town. I'm very confused and starting to panic and the first thing I ask is "which town and why?"
They answer with 'Hectorville. I dunno, we felt like it.'
I am absolutely appalled. I'm gone for one session and they're laying siege to our starting town filled with helpless Hectors? It's been going on for a while apparently and the Hectors had started getting desperate. A few fight back, but Kaya is way too happy to kill them (very violently). I'm still reeling and trying to catch up with whatever is going on. I'm asking a bunch of questions and not liking the answers one bit. They said my character agreed to it, which is so incredibly far out of character that I'm mad at the DM for even allowing it. They could probably have done it even without my vote so why'd they have to add insult to injury? Finally I ask, "Hey, where's Orange? And please tell me you left our chickens and pets in a safe place."
Aiden says the party left them inside one of the buildings. I asked, "in town?" and he said yes. The rest of the party was still smiling and were confused as to why I was asking about this until I slowly clarified, "you left our favorite NPC, and all our pets, in a town that you decided to siege. You left our 30 chickens in a town that you are purposefully starving?"
The entire mood of the table shifted from amused joy to shock and upset. Rory and Elliot were worried about Orange. Kaya was upset about her chickens, mildly concerned about Orange, and very upset about her dog. Michael was still mildly amused, actually. Probably enjoying their karma.
It was the end of the siege and so we rush in to the town full of Hector corpses and stepping over the few that are alive but too weak and hungry to move or attack us, and we head straight for where they left Orange and the pets.
Orange is alive and well, but all the pets are dead. I'm absolutely crushed. I beg Aiden to tell me that at least my horse is outside. He says no, Eclipse was in the building with the rest of them. All the pets had been eaten by the Hectors and by Orange, and he mentioned that Orange even ate a few of the Hectors when the pets ran out. Suddenly Elliot and Rory are appalled by Orange and they hate him. The complete 180 was baffling to me. It wasn't Orange's fault they left him in there and then sieged the place. It was entirely their fault.
Kaya is incredibly upset and she turns to me at the table and she starts yelling at me. "This is all your fault! You should've stopped us!"
I yelled back, "how? I was sick at home! You shouldn't have done this, you can't blame me for it! I wasn't even there!"
But for some reason she kept insisting that it was my fault that they decided to lay siege and she kept saying very insulting words towards me, calling me a b**** among other things, and I started crying.
Kaya and I didn't talk for a few days after that. This was relatively common, actually. She would get into an argument with me on purpose, then blame me for it, and then she would refuse to apologize and not talk to me for days. She sometimes started talking to me again out of the blue like nothing had happened, but usually she would actually start talking again if I had something she wanted, like food. She would only ever apologize when I refused to give her food until she said sorry. It was really childish, even for middle school.
I was so incredibly upset with all of them, especially Kaya, and I was absolutely baffled as to how Aiden let them do any of this to my character and her property without my consent. I reiterated how unfair it was to let huge character decisions be made when the player isn't present. He absolutely did not care and he seemed to find it funny.
In the final session, Aiden allowed us to do pretty much whatever we wanted, even manipulate reality. Like a sort of non-canon sandbox. That was nice, I suppose, but it couldn't make up for how absolutely exhausting the whole campaign was for me. In the end, I'm fairly certain we were all only level 2. Basically nothing was accomplished over the year-long campaign except giving me more things to talk about at therapy after I graduated middle school.
Thankfully, this first experience with DND didn't turn me off of the game forever. I've played in a few mini campaigns since, DMed for a campaign, and I'm working on preparing to DM again. I would love to be a player at some point again for a proper campaign, though. I feel like I need to replace that awful player experience with a much better one.
Also Kaya and I cut each other off the second we got to High School. At first I would honestly have mild panic attacks every time I saw her in the halls, but I got therapy and eventually I was able to ignore her. Haven't spoken to her in over 5 years at this point and I do not plan to ever again.
Thanks for reading this far, I know it was a long one!

1. Collaborative Storytelling: Let's work together to create an awesome story! Feel free to introduce plot twists and discuss ideas. We want to make this roleplay exciting and unpredictable.
   
2. Writing Style: Novella.
   
3. Character Consistency: Stick to the personalities we've established for our characters. It's important to keep them true to their descriptions. Consistency helps us create a solid story.
   
4. Respectful Collaboration: Let's be respectful and friendly as we collaborate. If you have any concerns or ideas, just let me know. We can discuss things openly and respectfully.
   
5. Have Fun: Most importantly, let's have a blast! Immerse yourself in the supernatural world we're creating. Be creative, enjoy the adventure, and let your imagination run wild.
   

PLOT:
In a world where supernatural creatures roamed freely, a kingdom stood tall and mighty, surpassing all others in grandeur and strength. At its helm was the king, a figure revered and beloved by his people. The kingdom itself possessed an enchanting allure, captivating the hearts of all who set foot within its borders. Once one entered its town, they found themselves bewitched, never wanting to leave its captivating embrace.
The king, in his prime, commanded the utmost respect and adoration from his subjects. They stood by his side with unwavering loyalty, for he was their beacon of leadership and protection. But fate can be cruel, and darkness crept into the depths of his soul, tainting it beyond redemption. What once was a benevolent ruler transformed into a savage and merciless being, driven by an insatiable thirst for blood. His name alone sent shivers down the spines of those who dared to utter it, echoing across continents as a harbinger of dread.
In this realm of supernatural beings, vampires were known to possess a rare gift—a mate, a soul bound to them for eternity. The king, too, had found his other half, and together they reveled in a love that was the envy of all. Their union was a testament to the power of true affection, where every moment spent in each other's presence was cherished, protected, and celebrated. A mate was a once-in-a-lifetime gift, and losing one meant the eternal loss of happiness and love, dooming the vampire to a desolate existence.
But on a fateful winter night, tragedy struck, veiling itself in secrecy. To this day, the truth remains elusive, known only to the king himself. All that witnessed the grim scene saw him, their revered ruler, atop his castle, clutching his mate in a tight embrace before committing an act so heinous, so cruel—it defied the very fabric of vampire history. With his own hands, he tore her heart from her chest, severing the bond of love and forging chains of eternal despair for himself. The darkness that consumed him grew with each passing year, deepening its hold on his tormented soul.
Across this tapestry of supernatural existence, a woman emerged from the infamous Reed family, renowned vampire hunters whose name struck fear into the hearts of their prey. Among them, she stood unrivaled in strength, her reputation forged through countless duels and the elimination of numerous vampires. She defied death with a recklessness that surprised even herself, rarely adhering to the rules imposed upon her.
Deeply devoted to her family, the woman shared a bond of love and respect with her kin. The Reed family's legacy stretched across centuries, their lineage steeped in the tradition of being the strongest vampire hunters of all time. As the sole heiress to the Reed family, the weight of leadership loomed over her, waiting for the day she would ascend to the role. However, she felt unprepared for such a responsibility and, in her characteristic stubbornness, ventured forth on yet another perilous adventure, defying the wishes of her own blood.
Equipping herself with the necessary tools of her trade, she embarked on a journey to the kingdom that sane souls dared not enter. Even her own family forbade her from venturing there, but her stubborn nature propelled her forward, undeterred by cautionary tales.
As she set foot in the town, her eyes widened in awe at the breathtaking scenery that unfolded before her. The place exuded a vibrant energy, bustling with people engaged in various activities. Laughter and conversation filled the air, and the joyous ambiance brought a smile to her lips. Yet, her gaze turned to the distant castle, its silhouette piercing the horizon. Despite its considerable distance, it emanated a chilling aura of darkness and coldness that sent shivers down her spine. Loneliness seemed to seep from its very stones, and an overwhelming sense of foreboding hung heavy in the air.
Undeterred by the castle's ominous presence, the vampire hunter pressed on, curiosity mingling with caution in her mind. She ventured deeper into the town, observing the lively spectacle unfolding around her. Music filled the air, prompting many to dance with uninhibited delight. The vibrant scenes and infectious laughter painted a vivid picture of joy and revelry, contrasting sharply with the haunting ambiance that emanated from the castle.
[Pm me if interested but please no short messages. I’ve come to realize that people who don’t put effort in their messages don’t really put effort in the roleplay either😭]

So this might be a bit long and boring but my brother started seeing a girl he met on tinder in 2022. She lives just outside of our small town. He moved in with her very quickly into her small flat then soon after they got their own house. My brother confessed to the family not long after and told us while they were still living at her flat she rinsed him for every penny he had and she left him with very little to live on for himself every week. She was in a lot of debt (never found out what for) and she was using all of his money for her debts and to pay all her rent. He was planning on leaving her due to this and made that clear to my parents but then sorted things out and stayed together. They live in a 3 bedroom house when it was just the two of them in a town he wasn’t even familiar with and would have no reason to want to live there so it was clearly all her decision. I used to get on well with her and she told me by brother wanted to move to somewhere more practical with less room as they were both always skint and couldn’t afford it but she told me she’d make excuses to him as she didn’t want to move house. I used to ‘gossip’ with her and confide in her a lot to find out she was purposely getting information from me to run back and twist every word to my family to cause trouble for me. The last time my brother saw my parents they had arranged to go to an Alan carr show and my parents left on time but ended up about an hour late due to traffic and parking etc. so they missed going out to dinner before the show with my brother, his girlfriend and her mother who they were meeting for the first time. My brother made comments that night about how my parents only bother with me and my son who was 2 years old but at the time I had to cut his dad off and was living with my parents so they wanted to give me the extra help and my brother wasn’t even living in the same town anymore and had his own life. My parents have always been fair and equal to me and my brother but I have always needed extra support due to my mental health issues (bpd) and due to sexual trauma I experienced at 15. Soon after my brother cut us all off and as soon as I told him I didn’t agree with the way his girlfriend was he also cut off me and my son who he adored. Suddenly he now claims his relationship problems are all down to childhood trauma (we had our issues as a family but overall we had stability and a much better life than a lot of people out there). Him and his girlfriend were always arguing and she was always making him cry now suddenly he is getting therapy as he believes he is the reason they argue and it is down to his ‘trauma’ this all started because my parents were late even though him and his girlfriend were 4 hours late on Christmas Day due to arguments and both turned up late to my nans 70th birthday party which he arrived in tears because she had been shouting at him. He told me one time he wanted to be able to go out with his friends without her there now suddenly he never sees his old friends or speaks to them anymore and the only friends he goes out with are ones she approves of and she is always there with them too. Even if he did have any trauma from his childhood that does not explain why he cut his friends off and why she always makes him cry. He did not attend my grandads funeral and did not message me back when I told him me and my son were in hospital. My mother posted a letter through his door and his girlfriend messaged her pretty much telling her to back off and he will speak when he is ready but it has literally been nearly 2 years now and he is missing out on my sons life. I don’t know what to do anymore I’m so hurt and I have no idea if I will see my brother again. We were all fairly close before this regardless if we all had our issues and arguments. Sorry for the long read but I needed to vent

Long story short and as much as it sucks to say, I haven't really experienced much of anything. I'm going to intentionally beat around the bush as to what category that "experience" falls under but I think most people should be able to figure it out lol. In other words (and if you play games), I'm a complete noob when it comes to all things girls. As for why those things haven't happened and why I want that to change.. There's a few reasons, but the main reason why I'm putting such an emphasis on this is because I'm a huge homebody and I don't go out much at all which makes it difficult to meet people. That's where Reddit comes in! The message I'm essentially trying to send is becoming physically and emotionally close with a girl is what I want the most. I want to experience it all; the laughs, excitement, curiosity, intimacy, hanging out, fun. Blame all the Disney movies I watched as a kid for that lol.
Finding someone would be a dream come true, but I'd love to find friends too if that's all you're looking for! Local or international, just let me know if that's what you want instead :) We could end up being really close friends and you'll introduce me to a friend who I end up being with? That may or may not be the plot from a romcom 🤔 So that means I definitely wouldn't be opposed to a relationship! I've obviously never been in one so I'm not exactly sure how to transition to that, haha. I totally wouldn't mind finding out, though :) Also someone to say good morning and night to, too. That would be the best even if it's incredibly cheesy.
Anyway, it could be someone with a lot of experience or someone with no experience like me, or introverted or not introverted, etc. I don't have a preference either way :) But if I were to be reaaally picky: they'd be sweet and down to earth because just cuddling on its own would be all kinds of cool. A bit about me: I'm shy, caring, kind, sweet and am normal in the weight and height categories. I want to say I'm cute in the looks department? 🙈 I'll let you decide that though lol. I think it's super fun learning about people through conversation so I'll leave the following hobbies section blank. Then again, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to give a small hint to something I love.. My username should provide clues to that! I Siriusly need to re-watch the movies again. Maybe with someone I meet through r4r?
Alright, I can't hold it in anymore. I pretty much like a little bit of everything. For example, when it comes to music, I go through Backstreet Boys phases to Disney song phases (Moana is awesome and I haven't even seen the movie 🙊) to something like Linkin Park, Paramore or 50 Cent. What I'm trying to say is I like a little bit of everything! So there's a good chance I'll like whatever you like when it comes to hobbies and interests and that means connecting with each other should be relatively natural/seamless. Or maybe that's wishful thinking on my part, haha.
I'm not the best with openers and if you're also in the same boat, then how about this: If you could have any superpower what would it be and how would you use it? Being out of this world smart like Tony Stark is an acceptable super poweanswer, by the way.
Hopefully my first impression is a good one! If anyone is even remotely interested, then just let me know and I'll get back to you asap!

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A link to at least 1 example piece of work or a commissions sheet.
Product type: (eg. Commission)
Target audience: (eg. Young people who like fantasy art)
Where you are based: (eg. USA)
Where you intend to sell: (eg. Conventions in USA and online)
How long it takes you to make: (eg: 10 hours)
Cost of sales: (eg. £20 on paint per painting)
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Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by Love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. Like that's ever going to happen. What a loony. Shrek Beware Stay out I think he's in here. All right. Lets get it! Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? Yeah. He'll groan into your bones for his brains. Well actually that would be a giant. Now Ogres, huh, they are much worse. They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin. They'll chew your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast. Back, back beast, back! I warned you! Right. This is the part, where you run away. Yeah! And stay out. Wanted. Fairytale creatures. Right, this one is full. Take it away. Give me that. Your fine days are over. -25 pieces of silver for the witch. Next. -Come on. Sit down there! And be quiet! This cage is so small. You wouldn't turn me in. I'll never be stubborn again. I can change. Please, give me another chance. Z Oh, shut up! Next. What do we got? This little wooden puppet. I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy. Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away. No! Please, don't let them do it! Next. What do you got? Well, I've got a talking donkey! Right. Well that's good for ten schillings, if you can prove it. Oh, go ahead fella. Well? He's just a li..., just a little nervous. He's really quite a chatterbox. You boneheaded donkey! That's it. I have heard enough. Guards! No, no, he talks, he does! I can talk. I love to talk. I've talked to... Get her out of my sight! -No, no, I swear! Hey, I can fly. -He can fly! -He can fly! He can talk! -That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying, talking donkey! You might have seen house fly, maybe even a superfly. But I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Seize him! Get him! This way! Hurry! You there. Ogre. -I. By the order of lord Farquaad. I am authorized to place you both under arrest. And transport you to designated resettlement facility. Oh really? You and what army? Can I say something to you? Listen, you were really, really something, back there. Incredible. Are you talking to... ...me? Yes, I was talking to you. Can I just tell you that you were really great back there with those guards. They thought that was all over there. And then you showed up and BAM. There was tripping on over themselves like babes in the woods. That really made me feel good to see that. Oh, that's great. Really. Man, it's good to be free. Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? But I... I don't have any friends. And I'm not going out there by myself. Hey wait a minute. I have a great idea... I'll stick with you. You and me in green fighting machine. Together we'll scare the spin if anybody crosses us. Oh, a, that was really scary. Maybe you don't mine me saying. If that don't work, your breath will certainly do the job done, 'cause... you definitively need some tic-tac or something, 'cause your breath stinks! Man you've ??? my note! Just like the time... ...and then I ate some rotten berries. Man I had some strong gases leaking out of my but that day. Why are you following me? I'll tell you why. 'Cause I'm all alone, there is no one here, beside me. My problems have all gone. There's no one to derive me. But you got to have free ... -Stop singing! Well, it's no wonder, you don't have any friends. Wow! Only a true friend would be that truly honest. Listen! Little donkey. Take a look at me! What am I? A... ...really tall? No! I'm an Ogre. You know, grab your torch and pitchforks. Doesn't that bother you? Nope. Really? -Really really. Oh? Man, I like you. What's your name? A..., Shrek. Shrek?! But do you know, what I like about you, Shrek? You've got that kind of: "I don't care what nobody thinks of me" thing. I like that, I respect that, Shrek. You're all right. Uh, look at that. Who would wanna live in a place like that? That would be my home. Oh, it is lovely. Just beautiful. You know you're quite a decorator. It's amazing what you did with such a modest budget. I like that boulder. That is a nice boulder. I guess, you don't entertain much, do you? I like my privacy. You know I do to. That's another thing, we have in common. Like I hate it when you got somebody in your face. You try to give them a hint and they won't leave. And then there's that big occurred silence, you know? Can I stay with you? -What? Can I stay with you, please. Of course! -Really? No. -Please! I don't want to go back there. You don't how is like to be concerned like a freak. Well..., maybe you do. But that's why we have to stick together! You got to let me stay! Please! Please! OK, OK. -But one night only. -Huh, thank you! A, what are you do... No! This is going to be fun. We can stay up late, swap the manly stories. And in
the morning... I'm making waffles. Where do I sleep? Outside! Oh, a, I guess that's cool. You know, I don't know you and you don't know me... ... so I guess, outside is best for me. Here I go. Good night. I do like that half door. I'm a donkey all alone outside. Sit by myself outside, I guess. I'm all alone, there's no one here beside me. -I thought, I told you to stay outside. -I am outside. Well James. This is far from the farm, but what choice do we have? It's not... What a lovely bed. -Got you! I found some cheese. Awful stuff. -Is that you Gordon? -How did you know? Enough! What are you doing in my house? Oh, no, no, no... Death prods off the table! Where would we supposed to put her. The bed's taken. What? I live in a swamp. I've put up signs. I'm a terrifying Ogre! What do I have to do, to get a little privacy? Oh, no! No, no! What are you doing in my swamp? All right, get out of here. All of you. Move it! Come on, let's go. And hurry up, hurry up. No, no, not there. Not there! Hey don't look at me. I didn't invite them. Oh gosh, no one invited us. -What? We were forced to come here. -By who? Lord Farquaad. He ??? All right. Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? Oh I do. I know where he is. Does anyone else know where to find him? -Anyone at all? -Me. -Anyone? Oh pick me, I know! Me, me. Ok, fine. Attention all fairy tale things! Do not get comfortable. Your welcome is officially warned up. In fact. I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now and get all off my land and back where you came from. You. You're coming with me. All right. That's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stubborn friends off on a world and big city adventure. I love it. I'm on road again. Sing with me Shrek! I'm on road again... What did I say about singing? -Can I whistle? -No. -Well, can I hummer? -All right. That's enough. He's ready to talk. Run, run, run as fast as you can, you can't catch me. I'm the gingerbread man. You monster. I'm not a monster here. You are. You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. -Now tell me! Where are the others? -Eat me. I've tried to be fair to you, creatures. Now my patience has reached its end! -Tell me! Or I'll... -No, no, not the buttons. Not gumdrop buttons. All right! Who's hiding them? Ok, I'll tell you. -Do you know the muffin-man? -The muffin-man? -The muffin-man. -Yes, I know the muffin-man. Who lives on Proully lane? -Well, she's married to the muffin-man. -The muffin-man! -The muffin-man! -She's married to the muffin-man. My lord! We found it. Well then, what are you waiting for? Bring it in. Magic mirror. Don't tell him anything! Evening. Mirror, mirror on the wall. Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all? Well, technically, you're not a king. A..., felonious. -You were saying. -What I mean is a... ...you're not a king, yet. But you can become one. All you have to do, is marry a princess. Go on. So, just sit back and relax my lord, because it's time for you to meet today's eligible bachelorettes. And here they are. Bachelorette number one is a mentally abused shading from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hottubbing anytime. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for two evil sisters. Please welcome... Cinderella. Bachelorette number two is a kemp wearing girl from a land of fantasy. Although she lives with seven other man, she is not easy. Just kiss hers dead frozen lips and find out what a live wife she is. Come on. Give it up for... Show-white. And last but certainly not least. Bachelorette number three is a fire-breathing ????, dragon guarded castle, surrounded by a hot boiling lava. But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes Pina Coladas and getting cut in the rain. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona. So will it be, bachelorette number one? Bachelorette number two? Or bachelorette number three? -Two... -Three! -Two! One. No, no, no. Three. Pick number three my lord. Ok, ok. Number three. Lord Farquaad. You've chosen... princess Fiona. She's nice. Fiona. She's perfect. All I have to do is just find someone... But I probably should mention little thing that happens at night... -I'll do it! -Yes, but after sunset... Silence! I will make this princess Fiona my queen. And Duloc will finally have the perfect king! Captain! Assemble your finest man. We're going to have a tournament! That's it, that's, right there, that's Duloc. I've told you I'll find it. So. That must be lord Farquaad's castle. Aha, that's the place. Do you think maybe he's compensating for something. Hey, hey wait up Shrek! -Hey, you! -No, no! Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you. I just... It's quiet. Too quiet. Where is everybody? Hey look at this. Wow! -Let's do that again. -No. no. All right. You're going the right way for smack bottom. Sorry about that. That champion should have the honor, no, no... ...the privilege to go forth and rescue the lovely princess Fiona from the fireing keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first
runner up will take his place. And so on, and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Applause. Let the tournament begin. What is that? Ugh, it's hideous. Oh, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey. Indeed. Knights! New plan. The one, who kills the Ogre, will be named champion. How about him. Oh, hey. Now, come on. Can't we just settle this over a pint? No? All right then. Come on. Hey Shrek! Let me, let me! The chair! Give him the chair! Thank you. Thank you, very much. I'm here until Thursday. Try the wheel! Shall I give the order sir? No. I have a better idea. People of Duloc. I give you our champion! What? Congratulation, Ogre. You've won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Quest? I'm already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back! -Your swamp? -Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures. Indeed. All right Ogre, I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me and I'll give you your swamp back. Exactly the way it was? Down to the last slime covered toast tool. -And the squatters? -As good as gone. What kind of quest? Ok, let me get this straight! We gonna go find the dragon and rescue a princess just so Farquaad will give you back the swamp, which you only don't have, 'cause he filled it with full of freaks on the first place. -Is that about right? -You know what? Maybe there is a good reason, donkeys shouldn't talk. I don't get it Shrek. Why didn't you just pull some old Ogre stuff on them? You know, ??? . Grab his bones to make you brave. You know the whole Ogre trick. Oh, you know what. Maybe I could have decapitated entire village and put their heads on plate. Got a knife, cut open their spleens and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you? A, no, not really, no. For your information, there is a lot more to Ogres than people think. -Example. -Example? OK, A-a-m, Ogres are like onions. -They stink? -Yes, no. -O, they make you cry. -No. Oh, you leave them out on the sun and they get all brown and start ??? little wild hairs? No! Layers! Onions have layers. Ogres have layers. Onions have layers. You get it? We both have layers. O, you both have layers. You know not everybody likes onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes. Cakes have layers. I don't care what everyone likes. Ogres are not like cakes. You know what else everyone likes? Paffe. Have you ever met a person and you say: "Hey, let's get some paffe" and they say I don't like paffe. Paffe is delicious. No! You tensed, irritating, miniature peace of barden. Ogres are like onions. End of story. Bye, bye. See you lather. Paffe is maybe the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet. You know I think I've preferred your humming. Do you have a tissue or something, 'cause I'm making a mess. Just the word paffe has made me start slimying Why, Shrek, did you do that? Man you got to warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was opened and everything. Believe me donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. It's brimstone. We must be getting close. Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking ??? brimstone. I know what I smell and ??? no brimstone. And they don't come of stone neither. Sure it's big enough, but look at the location. Oh, Shrek, remember when you said that Ogres have layers? Oh, yeah. Well, I have a confession to make. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear ??? sleeves. Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves. -You know what I mean. -Oh, you can't tell me you're afraid of highs. No, I'm just a little uncomfortable of being on a rickety bridge over boiling lake of lava! Come on donkey, I'm right here beside you. Ok? For emotional support. We'll just hackle this thing together one little baby step after time. -Really? -Really really. Ok. That makes me feel so much better. Just keep moving and don't look down. Don't look down, don't look down. Shrek! I'm looking down! I can't do this. Just let me off right now, please. -But you're already half way. -Yeah, but I know that half is safe. Ok, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back. Shrek, no, wait. Don't do that! Oh, I'm sorry. Do what? -Oh. This? -Yes, that! Yes, yes. Do it. OK. -No, Shrek! -I'm doing it. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. That will do Donkey, that will do. Cool. So where is this fire breathing pain in the neck anyway? Inside. Waiting for us to rescue her. I was talking about the dragon Shrek. -Are you afraid? -No, but shhhhh. Oh, good. Me neither. Because there's nothing wrong with being afraid. Here's a..., something responsible of the situation. Not to mention dangerous situation. And there's dragon that breathes fire. I'm sure he's meaner than a cow or anything, but they're scare. You know what I mean. I'm sure he's heavier than a cow... Donkey. Two things. Ok? Shut, up. Now go over there and see if you can find any stairs. Stairs? I thought we were looking for the princess. The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest tower. What makes you think she'll be there? I read it
in a book once. Cool. You handle the dragon, I'll handle the stairs. Oh, I'll find those stairs. I'll ???. That's right. Those stairs won't know which way they go. The drafting stairs, ??? Don't mess with me. I'm the stair master. I'm master of the stairs. I wish I had a stair right here right here now, I'd step all over it. Well, at least we know where the princess is. -But where is the... -Dragon! Donkey, look out! Got you. Oh, what large teeth you have. I mean, white sparkling teeth. You probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach yourself, because that is one dashing smile you got there. And do I detect the hint of minty freshness? And you know what else? You're a girl dragon. Oh, sure. I mean 'course you're a girl dragon, 'cause you're just ricking the feminine beauty out. What's the matter with you? Do you have something in your eye? Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know I'm a asthmatic and I don't know if we would worked out. You'd be blowing smoke and stuff. Shrek! No, Shrek! Shrek! -Wake up! -What? Are you princess Fiona? I am. Awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me. Oh, that's nice. Now let's go. But wait, sir knight. This be our first meeting. Should not be wonderful, romantic moment? Yeah. Sorry lady there's no time. Hey, what are you doing? You know, you should sweep me out of my feet. Out through the window and down the rope by to your valued steed. You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you? Uh-um. But we have to sing through this moment. You can residing of a poem to me. A ballad, a sonnet, a libretti. Or something. I don't think so. Well, can I at least know a name of my champion? Shrek. So, Shrek. I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude. Thanks. -You didn't slay the dragon? -It's not my job to do this. Now, come on! But this isn't right. ??? That's what all the other knights did. Yeah. Right before they burst in the flame. That's not the point. Wait. Where are you going? Exit is over there. Well, I have to save my ass. What kind of knight are you? One of a kind. ...rush into a physical relationship. I'm not that emotionally ready for commitment of a this magnitude. That was the word I was looking for. Magnitude. Hey, that is unwanted physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Ok, ok, let's just back up a little and take this one step at the time. I mean, we really should get to know each other first, you know what am I saying. As friends, maybe even as ??? Hey don't do that. That's my tail. That's ma personal tail. And you're going to tear it off.... Oh, no. No! -It talks?! -Yeah. It's getting to shut up, that's a trick. Ok, you two. Head for the exit. I'll take care of the dragon. Ruuuuun! You did it. You rescued me. Amizing, you're wonderful. You're a ... ...a little unorthodox I admit, but by deed is great and by heart is pure. I'm entirely in your debt. And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed. I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She thinks I'm a steed. The battle is won. You may remove your helmet good sir knight. -Aah, no. -Why not? I have helmet hair. Please. I wouldst look upon the face of my rescuer. Oh, no, you wouldn't, dust. But, how will you kiss me? What? That wasn't in a job description. -Maybe it's a perk? -No. It's destiny. You must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower and besieged by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight. And then they share true love's first kiss. With Shrek? You think, wait... ...you think Shrek is your true love? Well, yes. You think that Shrek is your true love. What is so funny? Let's just say, I'm not your type, ok? Of course you are. You're my rescuer. Now, now remove your helmet. Look. I really don't think this is a good idea. -Just take off the helmet. -I'm not going to. -Take it off! -No! -Now! -Ok, easy. As you command your highness. You're an Ogre. Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Well, yes, actually. Oh no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an Ogre. Princess, I was sent to rescue you by lord Farquaad, ok? He's the one, who wants to marry you. Well, then why didn't he come to rescue me? Good question. You should ask him that, when we get there. But I have to be rescued by my true love. Not by some Ogre and his pet. Well so much for noble steed. Look princess. You're not making my job any easier. Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell lord Farquaad that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Hey, I'm no ones messenger boy, all right? -I'm a delivery boy. -You wouldn't dare. -You coming donkey? -Put me down! Yeah, I'm right behind you. Put me down or you will suffer the consequences. This is not dignified. Put me down. Ok, here's another question. Let's say that a woman 'digged' you, but you don't really like her, that way. Now, how you let her down real easy, so her feelings aren't hurt? But you don't get burned to a crisp neither. How do you do this? Just tell her, she's not your true love. Everyone knows it what happens when you
find... Hey! The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Oh, yeah. You gonna love it there princess. It's beautiful. And what of my groom to be, lord Farquaad. What's he like? Well, let me put it this way, princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. Oh no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You know, you're just jealous that you can never measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad. Yeah. Well maybe you're right princess. But I'd like you do that measuring when you see him tomorrow Tomorrow? It will take that long? -Shouldn't we stop to make camp? -No. That would take longer. We can keep going. But there are robbers in the woods. Whoa, time out Shrek. Camp is definitely something that sounds good. Hey. Come on. I'm scarier than anything we're gonna see in this forest. I need to find somewhere to camp, now! Hey, over here. Shrek, we can do better than that. Now, I don't think this is decent for princess. No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches. Homey touches? Like what? A door. Well, gentleman I'll be d..., good night. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story, 'cause I will... I said good night! Shrek! What are you doing? I just..., you know... Oh, come on, I was just kidding. And that one, that's Throwback. The only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields. Right. Yeah. Hey, can you tell my future form these stars? Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look. There's Blodna, the "Flatulent" You can guess what he is famous for. All right. Now I know you're making this up. No. Look. There he is and there's the group of hunters running away from his stag. Man, there ain't nothing, but a bunch of little dots. You know donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Forget it. Hey Shrek. What are you gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway? -Our swamp? -You know. When we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff. We? Donkey, there is no we. There's no our. There's just me and my swamp. And the first thing I'm gonna do, is build a ten foot wall around my land. You cut me deep Shrek, you cut me real deep just now. You know, what I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out. No, do you think? -Are you hiding something? -Never mind Donkey. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it? No. This is one of those drop it and leave it alone things. -Why don't you want to talk about it? -Why do you want to talk about it? -Oh, Why you block? -I'm not blocking. -Oh yes you are. -Donkey, I'm warning you. -Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who? Everyone, ok? -Oh, now we're getting somewhere. -Oh, for 'the love of pit'. Hey, what's your problem Shrek? What do you got against the whole world anyway? Look. I'm not the one with the problem, ok? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go: AAA... Help! Run! A big stupid ugly Ogre. They judge me, before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone. You know what? When we met, I didn't think you're just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Yeah, I know. So, a... Are there any donkeys up there? Well, there's a Cabby. The small and annoying. Ok, ok. I see him, now. Big shining one, right there. That one, over there? That's the moon. Again. Show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess. Perfect. Yeah. You know I like like that. Oh come on baby... -Donkey. Wake up. -What? -Wake up. Morning. How do you like your eggs? -Good morning princess. -What's all this about? You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday and I wanted to make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me. Thanks. Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us. -Shrek! -What? It's a compliment. Better out than in I always say. But that's no way to behave in front of a princess. -Thanks. -She's as nasty as you are. You know. You're not exactly what I've expected. Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them. Princess! What are you doing? ???mon shery, for I am your saviour. And I am rescuing you from this green...beast. Hey! That's my princess. Go find your own. Please, monster. Can't you see I'm a little busy here? Look, pal. I don't know who you think you are. Oh, of course. How rude that was. Please, let me introduce myself. Oh marry men! Man, that was annoying. Oh, you little... Shall we? ???all the forin??? Whoa, hold on, now. Where did that come from? -What? -That. Back there. That was amazing. Where did you learn that? Well, when one lives alone one has to learn these things in case there's a... There is an arrow in your butt. What? Oh, would you look at that. Oh, no... This is all my fault. I'm so sorry. -What's wrong? -Shrek's hurt. -Shrek's hurt? Shrek's hurt! -Oh, no. Shrek's going to die. -Donkey, I'm ok. You can't do this to me Shrek. I'm too young for you to die. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head ???. -Does anyone
know how to handle... -Donkey! Calm down. If you want to help Shrek, run into woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Ok, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Don't die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light! -Donkey! -Oh, yeah. Right. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. -What are the flowers for? -For getting rid of the Donkey. Now, you hold still and I'll yank this thing out. -Hey! Easy with the yanking. -I'm sorry, but it has to come out. No, no. It's tender. What you're doing here is the opposite... -Don't move. -Ok, look. Time out. -Would you... Ok. What do you propose we do? Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colorblind. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns. Hold on, Shrek. I'm coming! Not good. Ok, ok, I can lose it. It's just about it. Nothing happened. We were just a... Look if you want to be alone, all you had to do is ask, ok? Oh, come on. That's the last thing on my mind. The princess here was just... Au! Hey, what's that? Is that... There it is, princess. -Your future awaits you. -That's Duloc? Yeah. I know. You'll shrink things lord Farquaad is compensating for something, which I think needs, he has a I guess we better move on. Sure, but Shrek... -I'm worried about Donkey. -What? I mean. Look at him. He doesn't look so good. -What are you talking about? I'm fine. -Well, that's what they always say. And the next thing you know you're on your back. -Dead! -You know she's right. You look awful. -Do you want to sit down? -You know, I'll make you up some tea. Well, I won't say nothing, but I've got this twinge in my neck. And if I turn my neck like this, look. Au, see? -He's hungry. I'll find us some dinner. -I'll get the firewood. Hey, where are you going? Oh man, I can't feel my thumbs. I don't have any thumbs!!! I think I need a hug. This is good. This is really good. -What is this? -Wheat rat. -Rotisserie style. -No kidding. -Oh, this is delicious. -Well, they also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean wheat rat stew. I guess I'll be dining a little different late tomorrow night. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you. Swamp toast, soup fish, eye tartar. You name it. I'd like that. -Ah... , princess? -Yes, Shrek? I'm a.... I was wondering. Are you... a... Are you gonna eat that? Man, isn't this romantic. Just look at that sunset. Sunset?! Oh, no. It's late. It's very late. -What? -Wait a minute. I see what's going on here. You're afraid of the dark. Aren't you? Yes, yes. That's it. That's, I'm terrified. You know I'll better go inside. But don't feel bad, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark too. Until... Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark. -Good night. -Good night. Ahh. Now I really see what's going on here. Oh, what are you talking about. Hey I don't wanna even hear. Look, I'm an animal and I got instincts. And I know that you two are digging on each other. I can feel it. Oh, you're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the fairemones. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that... well you know. I'm not saying that I do, 'cause I don't. She's a princess and I'm... ...an Ogre. Yeah, an Ogre. -Hey, where are you going? -To get more firewood. Princess. Princess Fiona? Princess, where are you? Princess? It's very spooky in here and are we playing little games. -No, no. -Help! Shrek! Shrek! -No. -Shrek! -It's ok. It's ok. -What did you do with the princess? -Donkey, shhh. I'm the princess. -It's me, in this body. -Oh my god. You ate the princess. -Can you hear me? -Donkey! Listen, keep breathing. I'll get you out of there! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! This is me. Princess? What happened to you? You're a... different. -I'm ugly, ok? -Yeah. Was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats were a bad idea. -You are what you eat, I say. -No. I've been this way as long as I can remember. What do you mean? Look, I've never seen you like this before. It only happens when the sun goes down. By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm until you find true love's first kiss. Then, take love's true form... -Oh, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry. -It's the spell. When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible ugly beast. I was placed in a tower to await the day when my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow, before the sun sets and he sees me, like this? All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Wait, wait, I'll not lie, you are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7. But Donkey, I'm a princess. And this is not how a princess is meant to look. Princess. How about if you don't marry Farquaad? I have to. Only my true love's kiss can brake the spell. But you know,
you're kind of an Ogre. And Shrek... Well you've got a lot in common. Shrek? Princess, I... How is it going first of all? Good? Good for me to. I'm ok. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty. And, well, I don't really like it, but I thought you may like it, because you're pretty. But I like you anyway. A.... I'm in trouble. Ok, here we go. Who could ever love a piece so hideous and ugly? Princess and ugly don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Shrek, but only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love. Don't you see, Donkey? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell. Well, at least you've got tell Shrek the truth. No, no. You can't breathe the word. No one must ever know. What's the point of being unable to talk? You got to keep secrets. Promise you won't tell. Promise! You know, before this is over, I'm going to need whole lot of serious therapies. All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. Look at my eye twitching. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. I tell him not. I tell him! Shrek! Shrek! There's something I want ... Shrek. Are you all right? Perfect. Never been better. I... There's something I have to tell you. You don't have to tell me anything, princess. I heard enough last night. -You've heard what I said? -Every word. I thought you'd understand? Oh, I understand! Like you said, who could love a hideous, ugly beast! -I thought that wouldn't matter to you. -Yeah, well, it does. Ah, right on time. Princess. I brought you a little something. What I missed? What I missed? -Princess Fiona. -As promised. Now hand it over. Very well, Ogre. The deed to your swamp. Cleared out as agreed. Take it and go. Before I change my mind. Forgive me princess for startling you, but you startled me. For I've never seen such a radiant beauty before. -I am lord Farquaad. -Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no... forgive me my lord for I was just saying short... farewell. Oh. That is so sweet. You don't have to raise good manners on the Ogre. -It's not like it has feelings. -No. You're right. It doesn't. Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona, I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom? Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make... Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wedd... No! I mean I... Why wait? Let's get married today. Before sunset. Oh, anxious are we? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do. There is the camera, the cake, the band, the guests... Captain! Round up some guests. Farewell Ogre. Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away. -Yeah, so what. -Shrek. There's something about her that you don't know. -I talked to her last night. She's... -Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You're great pal, aren't you? Now, if you two are such good friend, why didn't you follow her home? -Shrek. I want to go with you. -I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone. My swamp, me and nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys! -But. I thought... -Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong. Shrek. Donkey? What are you doing? I was thinking of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one. Well, yeah. But the wall supposed to go around my swamp. Not through it. It is around your half. See? That's your half and this is my half. Oh, your half? Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head -Back off! -No. You back off! -This is my swamp. -Our swamp. -Let go, Donkey! -You let go! -Stubborn jackass. -Smelly Ogre. Fine! Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you, yet. -Well, I'm through with you! -Well, you know. You were always me, me, me. Well, guess what? Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me, you insult me, you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back? Because that's what friend do. They forgive each other! Oh, yeah. You're right Donkey. I forgive you for stabbing me in the back! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy. You're afraid of your own feelings. -Go away. -See? There you are, doing it again. Just like you did it to Fiona. And all she ever do, was like you. Maybe even love you. Love me? She said I was ugly! A hideous creature. -I heard that you two were talking. -She wasn't talking about you. She was talking about... ...somebody else. She wasn't talking about me? Well then, who was she talking about? No way, I'm not saying anything. You won't listen to me, right? Right? -Donkey. -No! Ok, look. I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big stupid, ugly Ogre. Can you forgive me? -Hey, that's the friends are for, right? -Right. -Friends? -Friends. So? What did Fiona said about me? Why are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her. The wedding! We'll never make it in

I’ve been thinking a lot about impactful movies lately and how some films really leave a lasting impression. Whether it’s because of the storyline, the characters, the cinematography, or the message, certain movies just seem to stick with us and shape our perspectives.
So, Reddit, I’m curious: what’s one film you believe everyone should watch at least once in their lifetime?
Feel free to share why you think it’s essential viewing—personal anecdotes, the impact it had on you, or even just because it’s a beautifully made film. Looking forward to your recommendations!

Hi, looking for some objective advice bc obviously my friends take my side but I need honesty :)
About two years ago my ex and I split up and I'm still struggling to get over it because I never had proper closure. Our relationship was never perfect, I didn't feel great most of the time (I've been told it seems he was bordering on emotionally abusive which I've discussed in this forum before, take a look if you want) but the ending baffled me and I'm still unsure if I'm in the wrong. I have never spoken about this because I was ashamed but now after two years and still feeling awful I want some advice.
Long story short we were walking home from a day of drinking and being silly with each other, trying to trip the other up, pushing into bushes etc, when my ex started saying something to me that was meant to be teasing and I playfully went "oh shut up" and hit him in the face. I say hit, it was more of a forceful shove with the palm of my hand. I was a bit drunk so did it harder than I meant to, but there was no malice and I wasn't angry. He absolutely lost it with me, he kept saying "I can't believe you've just hit me" and tried to lock me out of the house, said if I was a man he would've hit me back, and that if he did that to me I'd have called the police (I wouldn't have) I was so shocked and confused, and kept apologising to him.
I slept in the spare room and the next morning apologised again crying and crying at the thought of hurting him. He said its fine and it should never happen again, I swore it wouldn't because I don't have a violent bone in my body, I HATE confrontation. I know I should never have done it, joking or not it's never ever okay, and I said this to him. It would never have happened again
Flash forward a month and he's being really off with me, withholding affection, making mean comments towards me (which wasn't uncommon, see previous post ive made), purposefully dodging calls and not telling me where he's spontaneously gone (he usually drops me a message to say hey I'm not going to be in when you're in). He came though the door one day after being out for hours and I say I'm upset because I was worried and he usually lets me know where he is, he then says "you don't have to know where I am all the time" and basically accuses me of being controlling. I'd had enough at this point and said I noticed he had been off with me and wanted to know why, he says he can't stop thinking about when I hit him. Again I apologise and he says "you don't have to apologise anymore."
I told him to speak to friends, hoping they'd listen and be objective, but obviously that wasn't going to happen. He spoke to friends and they said they were disappointed in him for not leaving me sooner and that they wouldn't be held responsible for their actions of they saw me again. I knew our relationship was over then. I asked if he gave them context, that we were joking around and we weren't arguing and I didn't maliciously attack him. He said "does it matter?' Personally to me, it does.
He said I didn't do enough to show I was sorry, when I didn't know what else I could do apart from apologise, take responsibility and promise it would never happen again. We split up on good terms and he said he didn't blame me for anything and wished me well. I accepted that what I had done was wrong, but it seemed like he had forgiven me. It wasn't until December when he sent me a text saying I had ruined his year, he said he knows I'm not abusive but I broke his trust. I had put up with so much emotional abuse and manipulation from him, but I didn't want that to cloud my judgement on this, I was wrong.
Two years later I still often think about it and feel like the worst person alive. My friends say he was in the wrong because of the way he spoke to me and treated me, and that he blee what happened out of proportion to make me feel bad, but I still made contact with his face and that was totally my fault. He's reacted the ways he's reacted and that's fine,.I'm not mad at him for it or think he's overreacting. But it has left me confused. I accepted full responsibility but he said I didn't do enough to apologise, even though he told me to stop because I'd apologised so much.
I'm not sure what I want from posting this here (maybe i need to post elsewhere), just everyone I have spoken to has said I'm not a bad person but I think I need a strangers opinion. I'm also going to therapy because of how this incident has fuelled my depression. Am I a terrible person, or is this another classic example of emotional abuse (maybe read my previous post for context of how he was towards me).

Our relationship was 5 months long and I enjoyed the relationship we argued about 4 times max we were always laughing, we agreed on almost everything, we always had something to talk about and it was honestly very lovely from my perspective .
So basically my ex boyfriend broke up with me in January. The whole day everything was fine between us we were on a call and I asked him to talk to me till I fell asleep I was asleep for a few hours then I saw the call ended and he send me a text and it was a breakup text.
The break up text consist of him saying he just wants to focus on himself and he enjoyed our relationship and talked about what a great girl I am and how I will always have a special place in his heart and stuff like that.
I didn't reply to the break up text and just deleted his number and our pictures together and stuff cried a bit to my friends then moved on. The next day he text me trying to check up on me I don't reply, a day later he trying to talk to me again and sends multiple text so I send one replying back very short text saying that I'm doing great, he sent a few text after that I didn't reply or read them, a day later he text me again I never open the text and delete his number again, a day later he text me again but deleted the message so idk.
About a month later a repost comes on my tik tok fyp and it looks like his account but not the account I know. I open the account and decided to be a bit nosey and I see he is reposting things about having a girlfriend so I basically just blocked the account. For the past few months I have just been focusing on myself lost a bit of weight, got new hobbies, got a pet and some other changes.
I'm rarely on Instagram but when I opened my insta I saw that he message me saying he misses me and wants me to come home. But I only saw the text 2 weeks after he sent it. I reply saying I thought he needed time to himself but in a rude way, he send a text back didn't see it till a few days later, I reply again saying something rude, he sends a short paragraph saying he wants to end things in good term or things don't have to end at all I left him on read, about a week later I realized I'm into dark bdsm and I enjoy being submissive and subservient with a few other kinks that not a lot of poeple where I'm from enjoy and I don't enjoy online relationships and I thought back to our relationship and it was lovely so I decided to reply telling him he can call me because he knows I don't enjoy texting, he replys saying he will after his granny's funeral and stuff is sorted out and he has free time, I reply saying forry for his lose and he tried to continue the convo and I just left him on seen. 2 weeks go by and I forgot he was even supposed to call me till I had a dream about talking to him then I woke up and it was 11 something the next day I see that he called me at 1 am that was creepy as hell. I call him back in the afternoon at 1pm but he doesn't pick up and calls me back around 7-8 pm.
The conversation started with him saying sorry about breaking up with me and i was a bit to clingy and he should have talked about it with me instead of leaving. I did ask him if he dated anyone since we broke up and he said yes but he broke up with her because she switched up and I said I didn't wanna be a rebound and he said they broke up a while ago before he texted me and the reason he texted me is because he missed me, my voice and our conversation and a few other things about our relationship and for the past few months he has thought about me often. I decided to be straight forward and ask him what he wants does he wanna get back together, a situationship and he replied saying he doesn't wanna end up in a relationship again cause he doesn't wanna hurt me but he also doesn't want a situation. So I asked him if he just wanted fun and he basically said he just wanted to talk to me but be more then friends because we are way passed that. I asked him what does he mean by fun and he basically said just talking to me and getting to see me and anything else I wanna doo. I said I will think about it and said bye.
But idk what he means by fun cause In our relationship we never did anything sexual I let him listen to me play with myself a few times on a call but he never saw me naked or anything. The most we did was peck kiss and cuddle..
Idk what to do about this situation cause I do kinda miss the relationship but I also feel like my judgment is clouded. And he might just want to use me for intertainmint till he gets bored again
I'm sorry if I'm a bad story teller 🤍

“It’s called a grief doll” Dr. Ramos said.
I stared at him like he’d grown a second head.
“A what?” I asked.
I’d agreed to this session to get my mother off my back. Provided, of course, that she also foot the bill. And, truth be told, it hadn’t been an easy couple of months. The word “stillbirth” sounds a lot more peaceful than the reality of it all. You get all the same blood and screaming as a regular birth but with none of the joy afterward. Things are, I guess, “still,” in a way. The silence of the grave.
“I know it’s a little unconventional,” Dr. Ramos said. “But, there’s been some really solid research to back it up recently. My colleague down in Camden–”
I cut him off. “You want me to buy a lifesized recreation of the dead baby that I just gave birth to?”
He looked slightly chastened by this. “I want you to process what happened, Mary. It can help. Look, if what you were already doing was working you wouldn’t be coming here, right?”
I sighed. “Alright. You’re the doctor. Who am I to argue with science?”
We talked a bit more after that, but it’s not really worth recounting here.
***
The next day I went to the address Dr. Ramos had texted me. It was a little building tucked away downtown between the huge tech skyscrapers and offices. When I walked in, the owner, a short man with a scruffy beard, smiled at me and said “You must be Mary.”
I nodded.
“Would you like to sit down? Do you want anything to drink? Anything to eat?”
I shook my head. “I don’t really want to stay here any longer than I have to, if that’s alright with you,” I said to the Rasputin-looking gentleman sitting behind the desk.
“I get it,” he said, nodding gravely. “People come here to get away from something, not to settle down. Do you have the pictures?”
I took them out of my bag. It had been quite a while since I’d needed to get photographs printed out. Ever since the world had gone digital we’ve all become allergic to paper.
“Here they are,” I said to him. These would serve as the model for the doll. He reached out and took them from me, examining them carefully.
“I think I’ve got what I need. I will let you know if I need anything more,” he said, stroking his long beard hypnotically.
I left and drove home. It was a quiet ride. Much more quiet than I’d been used to. Ever since Tim had left there were these little dead spaces throughout the day. He used to fill car rides with excited chatter about protons and leptons and all the -ons he got to work with as a physicist.
My brain had begun to fill these spaces with grim reflections on the past and future:
It’s your fault.
You don’t deserve a baby.
This is God’s way of telling you that you don’t deserve to be alive.
Over and over again these thoughts would run through my mind like the world’s most depressing tape recorder. Vicious, hateful, unbelievable things kept popping into my head as I drove the short distance home, making the trip feel far longer than it actually was.
***
I had taken to staring at the ceiling and crying myself to sleep most nights. The big, empty house felt suffocating at 3 AM, like all the open space was sucking the air out of my lungs every time I opened my mouth. This had been the way I spent most nights since the stillbirth. I tried to fill the silence any way I could. At all hours of the night, one could hear my TV blaring or my phone playing some podcast or another. Anything to avoid the little dead spaces between one task and the next.
But it was most difficult of all when I tried to sleep. I saw images of my little girl when I closed my eyes. I saw the blood and heard my own screams when it became clear that she would never take a breath. There were also subtler forms of self-inflicted torture.
Exactly one month after the worst day of my life, I came home from work to find Tim’s things cleaned out and a note on the kitchen table. It read:
“I’m sorry Mary. I can’t imagine how hard this month has been for you, but every day I stay here is like a knife to the heart. You’re just so sad and I can’t take it anymore.”
That phrase “You’re just so sad” played in a loop in my mind’s ear.
***
Eventually, I won the battle against consciousness. It was a fitful, restless sleep pregnant with terrible things. I felt like I’d lived an entire life come morning. I dreamt that I’d held little Sarah in my hands, that I’d been able to feed her from my own body just like I’d wanted to do for so many years. But as I held her against my chest she melted into a puddle of flesh and blood, yet never ceased to suck, to draw whatever life she could from me, and I was desperate to give it to her. Eventually, she was little more than eyes in a puddle of fleshy blood, staring at me from the ground and whispering “Why didn’t you save me, Mama?”
I woke with a start. Never, not once in my life, had I experienced a dream like this. I sat huddled in my bedsheets, shaking with tears as I saw the image of my melted little girl swirling around on the floor, asking why I hadn’t helped her. Reality seeped back in stages, penetrating the veil of sadness, and shocking me to my feet with the blaring intensity of my phone’s alarm. It was always turned up to full volume because anything lower risked my sleep-addled mind resisting its call to return from the deep. It had always been difficult to tear myself from the land of dreams, and more so after my life began to feel like a nightmare. But lately, sleep offered little respite.
I pulled on my clothes, brushed my hair so that it was halfway presentable, and poured myself a bowl of oatmeal. It was a gray, soggy pile at the bottom of my bowl. In a flash of unwanted connection, my brain superimposed the image of little melted Sarah onto my field of view. I nearly vomited into my bowl, but just then there was a knock on my door.
“Package,” the deep baritone on the other end intoned.
I opened the door and saw the mailman walking away. It occurred to me that nothing was stopping me from asking him out now that Tim had wandered out of my life. But, immediately, my brain stepped in to fill in the blanks:
Why would he want someone like you?
What the hell is wrong with you?
I don’t even want you and I am you.
These thoughts came as easily as my breath, and I had long since stopped trying to challenge them. In all likelihood, they were right. I picked up the package and saw that it was the grief doll. As soon as I got home from work I’d figure out what the hell I was supposed to do with the thing.
As I stepped into the bathroom, the mirror joined my inner voice in confirming my lack of romantic prospects. Deep, black circles formed rings under my eyes. Deeper wrinkles stood out on my forehead and my double chin and – was that a gray hair? Already? Immediately, the thoughts returned.
You’ll be dead at 50 by this rate.
The world won’t miss you.
Why not make it tomorrow?
Again, these suggestions were difficult to challenge with the evidence inches from my eyes.
***
It was hard to care about work. Even at the best of times, it hadn’t been the most fulfilling job in the world, but these days my cubicle felt like a tomb. My job was to call people who had filled out negative reviews for the phone company (I’m sure you know which one, but it’s probably best to leave that unsaid) and ask why.
This was a doubly depressing task because it was both neverending and pointless. How many times in the past month have you picked up a call from a number you didn’t recognize? I’m guessing the answer is lower than one. Almost nobody picked up, and those who did invariably did one of two things: hang up instantly upon realizing who I was or scream invective at me that I would hesitate before repeating to the devil himself.
One particularly creative gentleman suggested I fold myself in half seventeen times to create a black hole and then have intercourse with said hole while my company’s headquarters were sucked into the event horizon. Points for creativity. Deductions for misogyny. Although, in fairness to the man, I have no trouble believing he’d have said something similar to a male rep.
That day only two people picked up. One hung up immediately. The other launched into a tirade of such intensity and fervor that I was worried he wouldn’t make it to the end of the call.
“And another thing!” the man shouted as I quietly ate a sandwich on the other end. “Your website looks like it was designed by some rock monkey with shit for brains and feet for hands!” he screamed at me. This was an insult I hadn’t heard before. Variations on it appeared with some regularity, sometimes with racial overtones. I’m not entirely sure why this was, given that I had no accent identifying me as anything other than white, and in fact I wasn’t. The assumption seemed to be that because I worked in customer service I must be Indian. This leap in logic went unquestioned by a surprising number of my interlocutors. The average consumer of cellular services in this country is a few rocks short of an avalanche themself.
“I’m sorry that our services did not meet your quality and reliability expectations,” I said dryly, reading from the part of the script labeled “negative responses.”
“And I’m sorry that you people haven’t gone back to where you come from!” the man shouted.
“I’m from Omaha sir,” I said.
“Where you’re really from!” he shouted back.
“I’m really from Omaha sir,’ I responded tiredly. “And so is my father and his father, and before that we came over from England.” This prompted a string of racial epithets I’d rather not repeat. The rest of the day went like this, and after a while I defaulted to flatly repeating “I'm sorry that our services did not meet your quality and reliability expectations.”
My faith in humanity dimmed with each passing call. I decided to slip out at 4:00. I figured no one would notice. I figured right.
***
It was Wednesday: trash day. The walk from my apartment to the dumpsters was a dismal affair. Despite gray skies, cold fog and a pounding headache, the excursion did at least deliver the best part of my day. A few guys catcalled me on the way to the curb, and for a moment I felt like something other than a disgusting blob of flesh.
But then the thoughts started back in and made me realize that the men’s comments had not been compliments but acts of aggression. As I dragged the empty trash cans back to my apartment, the men once more yelled out their opinions on my face, my tits, my ass. In response, my mind conjured scenes from my dream – melted flesh, the endless unanswerable question: “Why didn’t you save me, Mama?”
By the time I’d made it back to my apartment I was practically in tears. At that moment, however, I remembered that the doll had been delivered earlier. It was time, I supposed, to open it.
After a few unsuccessful attempts, the package yielded its contents, and I nearly fell over when I saw it for the first time. It looked exactly like Sarah. Her little, premature hands. Her closed, screwed up eyes. Everything.
I held the tiny plastic facsimile against my chest and sobbed into it. I apologized to it over and over again:
“I’m sorry Sarah. I’m so sorry.”
But nothing could have prepared me for the moment that it spoke back:
Why didn’t you save me, Mama?
I screamed and fell backwards. The floor flew up to meet me and struck the back of my head with overwhelming force, driving the tears out even faster through a combination of momentum and pain.
“What did you say?” I asked, with a shaking voice.
For a moment, the doll was quiet, its little eyes still shut against the world. Then, they snapped open. Its little mouth opened and flopped around like a fish before repeating:
Why didn’t you save me, Mama?
I threw it across the room. It was an instinct, but a second later, I felt bad. It was like seeing Sarah’s death all over again. The doll screamed and cried.
Why did you hurt me, Mama?
It asked in its sad, childlike voice.
I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I threw up again and again, my body shaking uncontrollably. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t possible. That thing was nothing more than a hunk of colored plastic. When there was nothing left to expel from my stomach except bile, I returned to the front room and slowly approached the doll where it lay in the corner.
Its eyes snapped to mine.
Why did you leave me, Mama?
I picked it up and hurled it out the window. For a moment, I thought that I should try and call the short Russian man who had sold me the monstrosity but then I remembered that it was 8:30 on a Wednesday. Not even Russians have that kind of work ethic.
Instead, I poured a glass of wine with shaking fingers and turned on the TV, desperate for something, anything to break the silence. As the news blared and the alcohol entered my veins, I was almost able to convince myself that the last few minutes hadn’t happened. But then the screen began flashing images of babies in incubators – victims of some war halfway around the world. Protestors marched through the streets, holding images of the poor, malnourished infants, and listing out those they felt were responsible. Before I turned it off, I could have sworn that one of them turned to the screen and said my name.
***
When I did fall asleep, it was only after many hours of crying and shaking. As returned the silence, so returned my certainty that I had heard the doll speaking. But human frailty won the day, and my brain surrendered to darkness once more.
In my dream, I saw Tim holding little Sarah and crying. He held her close and put the tiny baby girl to his face, kissing her again and again. Then he turned to me with an eyeless face and spoke with a toothless mouth:
Why didn’t you save her, Mary?
I tried to scream but in this world I could not make a sound. My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water, and I felt like I was breathing in the ocean. Then, little Sarah looked at me with her little melting face and said:
Didn’t you love me, Mama?
When I didn’t answer, the tiny melted eyes burned with rage.
I hate you Mama. Everybody hates you. You throw me out the window?! You should jump out yourself and do the world a favor you worthless sack of human garbage forgotten by God. Why are you even alive you heartless bitch?
I kept trying to scream but nothing would come out. I tried to apologize but could only feel the sensation of water rushing into my lungs. Sarah began to say, over and over:
Why didn’t you save me, Mama? Why didn’t you save me, Mama? Why didn’t you save me–
I woke with a start to find the doll inches from my face. It was shouting at me:
Why didn’t you save me, Mama?
This time, I did scream, and batted it away from my face. The horrible thing, which somehow had reappeared in my house after I’d thrown it out of a 7th story window, began to sob in the corner where it fell. It looked up at me with its tiny heartbroken eyes and quivering lips as it asked me:
Why did you hurt me, Mama? Do you hate me?
Without thinking, I said, “Of course I don’t hate you, sweetie. Mommy loves you very much.” I froze. What was I doing? This thing wasn’t Sarah. It wasn’t even a person.
Then why did you hurt me, Mama? Why didn’t you save me?
I buried my head in my hands. “I couldn’t save you! I’m sorry!” The tears continued to pour from my eyes in rivers, soaking the arms of my shirt.
You didn’t deserve me, Mama. You coldhearted cunt. You shouldn’t even be alive.
I looked at the thing in shock. Hearing those words in a child’s voice was somehow far worse. It couldn’t stay in my house. Not one second longer. But throwing it out the window hadn’t worked, so I had to come up with another plan. I grabbed the hateful thing and carried it to the fireplace. It screamed all the while, sobbing just like a child in pain.
Don’t burn me Mama! Don’t hurt me! Why are you doing this?
I was undeterred. The fire roared to life, and I hurled it into the hottest part of the blaze as it hurled insults back at me.
Nobody’s ever loved you! Why do you think Tim left, you stupid bitch? If he really loved you, he’d have stayed!
Slowly but surely, the thing melted in the flames. Its little face turned to mush, then to liquid, then to ash. The smell was atrocious, but at least it was gone. I lay panting on the floor, crying but relieved.
Later, I called the Russian man and told him that something was terribly wrong with his doll. He listened to my story, then said, not without empathy:
“Maybe you should go back to this doctor? The one who referred you here?”
It was the most polite way that someone had ever called me crazy. Seeing that this was a mistake, somewhat too late to avoid it, unfortunately, I hung up.
Work was no better than it had been the day before. I listened as people berated me over the phone, and read from my script in a monotone voice. I was no more useful than a robot. As the insults went on and on, I began to dissociate from my body. My mouth said the words in the script, but my brain had no say in the matter. The words simply spilled from me like tears from my eyes.
At lunch, I sat next to Jim. I’d always liked Jim. Had a huge crush on him since the day we’d met. Normally, we took our lunch breaks at different times, but that day the stars aligned. The biggest problem with talking to Jim had always been that we had zero interests in common. But that day, the TV in the break room happened to flip to a channel playing a soccer match. We discovered that we were both huge fans, and finally I had something I could say to him.
Things couldn’t have been going better until I looked down and saw, under the table, something that made me jump a foot in the air.
The doll.
It was staring up at me with its cold eyes and sneering mouth.
You can’t get rid of me, Mama. No matter how much you want to.
Jim looked at me strangely, and I apologized, making some halfhearted excuse that I probably wouldn’t have believed coming from him.
What makes you think he’d be interested in someone like you? Have you looked in a mirror sometime this decade? Unless he’s got a corpse fetish I’d say you’re about two decades too old for him.
I stared down at the doll so long, Jim asked me what was going on. I picked it up, and showed him. When he asked what it was, I hesitated before answering. Eventually, I lied and said that it was a present for my daughter.
“I didn’t know you had a daughter,” Jim said.
“Yeah, I gave birth a couple of months ago,” I replied, which was not technically a lie.
Of course it’s a lie you worthless bitch. If you told him the truth he’d run screaming into the street. The only reason he’s stuck around this long is because there’s only one break room. Nobody will ever love you. Nobody.
“Stop it!” I yelled, before remembering that Jim had no idea what this thing was. He looked at me strangely and I bolted out of the room, sobbing and cursing the malevolent presence in my arms. It cursed me right back:
What the fuck’s wrong with you? Why would you even talk to him? You’re a disgusting pile of shit and vomit unworthy of life. You know what you could do to make Jim’s life better? You could slam your fucking head through a plate glass window and spray the side of the building with blood until you fucking die.
“Stop it!” I shouted, and threw it onto the floor as I ran to my car. But, there it was inside, waiting for me, its hateful sneer plastered onto its tiny, childlike face.
What’s the matter Mary? Can’t handle the truth? Can’t handle knowing that you’re a failure as a mother and the ugliest bitch who ever lived?
I sank to my knees and screamed, holding my head with both hands and begging the hateful thing to stop. But it didn’t. It kept pummeling me with insults and threats until I couldn’t take it one second longer. I got into the driver’s seat and floored the accelerator, taking the car onto the freeway, then to the nearest exit, then right off the edge of a cliff.
As the car soared through the air, there was a tiny moment of quiet before gravity took over. It was only an instant, but in that instant I realized that I was going to die. So for the first time in weeks, I smiled.
***
The next thing I can remember is tremendous pain. My eyes hadn’t even opened yet, but even though the world was dark, it was still full of suffering. Then, in the next instant, my eyes flew open. There, at the edge of the bed, looking at me with all the hate in the world, was a familiar hateful face.
Welcome back to the land of the living, bitch. Couldn’t even get suicide right, could you?
I had no energy left to sob. Instead, I hung my head in defeat, looking at the tiny hunk of plastic staring up at me and wishing to God that I’d chosen a higher cliff. Soon, a man in a white lab coat walked in and smiled.
“Hello Mary,” he said.
“How do you know my name?” I asked.
“They checked your wallet when they pulled you out of the car. Your driver’s license was right on top,” he replied, still smiling.
“Right,” I said, not smiling back.
“I’m not going to lie to you, that was a close call there. But you’re going to be okay. Would you mind answering a few questions?”
I immediately became wary, but nodded my head.
“Before the accident, do you recall feeling lightheaded or dizzy?
I shook my head.
“Any alcohol or drug use?”
I shook my head.
“Okay, good. And have you had any thoughts of hurting yourself in the past week?”
This was the question I’d been waiting for. I shook my head again, knowing that an affirmative answer would mean at least a 3-day psychiatric hold. As soon as they learned about the doll, God knows how long it’d last.
“Excellent. You should be able to get out of here in a couple of days. You’ll have to be careful with those casts, but everything will be okay.” I nodded again, and he left. The doll popped its little face back off the bedsheets and set itself right back to its task: destroying my mind and soul. As the night wore on, I sat there, frozen, as it continued to pound me with reminders of my inadequacies, my faults, my failures. From time to time, I had to stand and it stood with me, clinging to my hospital gown as I made my way to the bathroom, to the cafeteria or to have one test or another performed. From that moment on, it was never quiet, though I seemed to be the only one who could hear it. Whether it was reminding me of that time in 3rd grade when Johnny Welkins had rejected me in front of the entire class, or the time that I’d sat through an entire date before realizing my shirt was on inside out, or berating me about letting the original Sarah die, it was always saying something degrading and humiliating.
By then, I’d become numb to the abuse. I never responded or argued. I never fought back or tried to get rid of it. Once or twice, I accidentally crushed it under my foot, but it always ended up right back where it had started: on my hospital bed, eyes burning with rage and lips firing off insult after insult.
***
The last night I was in the hospital, I dreamt of Tim. I dreamt of the last time that I’d seen him before he disappeared forever. He stood in the doorway, blocking it with a stern face and large hands. I kept trying to push past him, but he wouldn’t let me. Eventually, we fought, and he threw me to the floor. I landed on my stomach so hard all the air flew out of my lungs.
When I woke, the doll was standing over me, and it had gone back to its familiar mantra:
Why didn’t you save me, Mama? Why didn’t you save me, Mama?
I sighed and focused on filling out the discharge forms that the nurse had left. They were long and boring, and it was no simple task to complete them with the doll repeating its horrible question again and again and again. Eventually, I finished, and an orderly wheeled me out to my car, the doll clinging to my shoulder and shouting abuse into my ear.
A single tear fell from my eye and rolled down my cheek as I climbed in to the driver’s seat and started the engine.
***
When I arrived home, I collapsed on my bed and began to weep. I wept like a child. I wept so loud in fact that I couldn’t even hear the doll as it broke down my door and resumed berating me. But I ignored it. I ignored it as I made dinner. I ignored it as I took out the trash. I ignored it as I returned to bed and tried to sleep. But it wouldn’t stop. Finally, it got close to my face and screamed right into my ear:
Why didn’t you save me, Mama? Why didn’t you save me, Mama?
And, for the first time since the accident, I replied, shouting: “What do you want from me?! I couldn’t save you, Sarah! I couldn’t!”
Liar! You could’ve saved me! You know you could’ve!
In that instant, it finally pushed me past my breaking point. I picked it up and shook it as hard as I could, screaming: “What could I have done? What was I supposed to do? What do you want from me?! Why are you doing this to me?!” The doll looked at me with cold, hateful eyes and said:
You could’ve stopped Tim.
I froze. “What do you mean?” I asked.
You know what I mean, Mama. You know what he did. Why didn’t you stand up to him? Why didn’t you stop him?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” I shouted.
Yes you do. You know exactly what I’m talking about.
“No!” I shouted. “No, I couldn’t stop him!” But even as I said it, I knew it was a lie.
We both know why the stillbirth really happened, don’t we, Mary?
I shook uncontrollably and ran into the backyard to get away from the doll, but it only appeared right in front of me, scowling down at me as I tripped and fell. It pointed to the ground and began to raise its little arms. The ground shook and trembled and I shouted at it, begged it to stop, but it was too late. In one enormous burst the ground split open and a body fell next to me.
It was Tim.
Why didn’t you save me from him, Mary?
The doll asked. I continued sobbing, but managed to respond, “I couldn’t save you Sarah. But I could get you justice.”
The doll’s face softened a little, and for the first time, the fire went out of its eyes. It crawled up next to me and buried its little face into my chest, and let me hold it, just like I’d always wanted to do.
I stroked its hair and whispered to it, over and over again, “I would’ve saved you if I could.”
And in its tiny, childlike voice, the doll replied, “I know.” Then it closed its little eyes, nuzzled close into my chest, and heaved a heavy sigh before never moving again.

So may rank is 17XXX ,and I'm like that I can get IT ,DS in Bengaluru (till last round) but I'm also thinking of main campus ,there i can get EEE ,CPS ( I'm more interested kinda in CPS) and Bengaluru fee is too much for me ..Mai to CPS ke liye hi loan ka soch raha par IT BLR bhi thik lag raha as today's scope...
Please leave your suggestion or can write the choice filling order (mai competition nahi badhaunga yadi fee arrange na hui to)
this is my first Q/A on reddit, sorry if any ..

Hi everyone,
To preface, my business is located in a small town that is predominantly wealthy white people.
Recently, one of my employees, Ann, was performing a pedicure for a regular client. During the pedicure, Ann accidentally dropped a file into the pedicure tub and later lightly poked the client while cleaning under her toenails. The client, visibly annoyed, said, "Ann, if that happens one more time, you'll get kicked in the face." Ann continued the service and the client left without further incident.
Later, Ann wrote a letter to the client, which I handed to her on Kim's behalf without knowing the details or the letter's content. The client returned to the salon, furious and threatening to sue. The letter from Ann read:
"You and your mom came in to get pedicures done by me. It seems like you might have already had a bad day when you arrived. When you sat down, I accidentally dropped a file into your pedicure tub. It didn't touch you, and I quickly pulled it out and apologized, but you gave me an angry look. I tried my best to be as gentle as I could. Finally, when I was cleaning under your toenails, I accidentally poked you very lightly without causing harm. It left no bleeding or scratches. You then looked at me again and said, 'Ann, if you do that one more time, I will kick you in the face.'
This is an act of insulting and humiliating others. You can say my job is bad, but you have no right to insult me. If you think because you paid money, you have the right to be angry with someone, then nobody wants that kind of money from you. Keep your money to yourself! Let me give you a few suggestions to control your nasty behavior.
If you're having a bad day and your foul mouth may hurt people, please help others by staying home. If you're mentally unwell, seek help immediately so that others do not have to endure your trauma and negativity. Good luck with your nasty personality!"
Now that I've spoken with Ann, I am made aware of the incident.
I wrote an email to the client explaining that her behavior was unacceptable and supporting Kim:
"I am writing to address the incident that occurred during your visit to ____ on ____ and the letter you have received now that I've spoken to Ann. She went on medical leave on ____ and I was not made aware of this exchange until you and I spoke on ____.
Ann informed me that during your appointment, she accidentally dropped a file and lightly poked you, which understandably may have been frustrating. However, she has confirmed you responded by threatening physical harm, stating, "Ann, if that happens one more time, you'll get kicked in the face".
Ann has been an incredible employee of ours for years and we have no cause to disbelieve her account of the events.
We strive to create a safe and respectful environment for both our clients and our staff. Threatening violence is a serious matter, and we cannot condone it under any circumstances. While we regret any inconvenience caused during your visit, responding with threats is not an appropriate nor acceptable reaction.
Regarding the letter you received from Ann, I acknowledge this entire situation could have been handled more professionally. For this, I apologize. However, the core issue remains your derogatory choice of words, which prompted an emotional response from Ann.
We do not welcome customers who believe it is acceptable to disrespect our staff. Everyone deserves to work in an environment free from fear and intimidation."
The Client's Response:
"I’m completely shocked to my core that it was indeed Ann who sent me that hateful and spiteful letter. I cannot understand for the life of me how a member of your staff can have such shameful behavior validated. You call it unprofessional, I call it utterly appalling.
What is so disappointing to me is that I really loved having Ann do my nails, which is why I always requested her. She’s excellent at her job, and I thought, a nice person whom I enjoyed a joshing and playful relationship that developed over time. She’s a Mother of a little boy and I have 2 boys that are older than hers so we would talk about our families. I would even hug her when I left because I liked her so much. I used to look forward to seeing her and trusted her with nail colour choices and design and felt relaxed, safe and looked after in her company.
I showed the letter to some of my friends and the girl who sometimes has her nails done with me remembers the incident. We were happy and laughing and giggling together as we’re super close so there are already discrepancies in Ann’s account. My friend and I often have pedicures together and it was on one of those occasions that my friend reminded me what happened.
She remembered Ann poking me by accident (it so didn’t bother me that I honestly cannot remember her dropping something into the water. That’s how insignificant her mistake was. I didn’t care because these things happen all the time). My friend said that I yelped because it hurt and I jolted and then made some “sarcastic” comment (like I always do to defuse a difficult or embarrassing situation because I’m Scottish, and we use humour in everything!) like “don’t make me kick you in the face” or words to that affect. I did not wish to accidentally kick her in the face if I jolted as her face was near my feet. Ann took that as the joke it was meant to be because we all laughed - including Ann. My friend is a witness to this.
Never in my entire life, have I ever uttered a threat to anyone. I can swear to this. I am well known in this community, my husband and I have fundraised for children with Autism for years and there are literally hundreds of people that can attest to my character.
Had I truly threatened Ann in the violent manner in which she describes, why didn’t she stand up shocked and walk away and report me to management? Why didn’t she burst into tears at such an awful and violent threat? Why didn’t she ask me for clarification at the time if she was at all confused by what I said?
Because it did not happen. Instead, she slyly chose to slip a poisoned letter with a gift card (I don’t even begin to understand that piece) and leave it for me without telling management in an underhand manner.
I truly don’t know why Ann has made up these cruel accusations. Perhaps she misinterpreted the incident due to cultural differences. Perhaps she resents me for being white? British? Having money? Whatever her reasons, she did not have the right to send a letter insulting me in that way and I find it absolutely disturbing.
Neither of my friends, nor I, shall ever return."
I stand by Ann and believe in maintaining a safe environment for my staff. However, I'm concerned about the potential repercussions, including the threat of a lawsuit.
I intend respond with:
"Thank you for your response. I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective on the incident.
I would like to address several points you raised and provide clarification.
Firstly, I want to reiterate that Ann has been a valued and trusted employee and similarly, Ann has worked with hundreds of clients over the years who can also attest to her character and credibility. Given her excellent reputation, we have zero cause to think that she would fabricate such an accusation that could potentially jeopardize her job. Ann gains no benefit from this.
Although you claim that "Ann, if that happens one more time, you'll get kicked in the face," was said in jest, and while I understand that cultural differences can sometimes lead to misinterpretations, you can see now it was inappropriate and understandably upsetting. Ann may not have cried nor reacted immediately as she needed time to process her emotions. This does not mean she was not uncomfortable or affected. The letter Ann wrote, while the tone was not professional, clearly shows she perceived it as a serious threat. We have addressed this with Ann, and she understands the best method for these situations is to go to management first.
Your mention that you have never threatened anyone is contradicted as you threatened to sue our salon when you came in on the _____ and this matter was first brought to my attention.
We appreciate your mention of race, cultural background, and economic status as it is extremely important to address. Our staff, including myself, come from diverse backgrounds as immigrants and have experienced various forms of discrimination. As minorities providing a service, we are deeply aware of the historical mistreatment and biases that still exist. Your response has been incredibly ignorant, condescending and dismissive.
Finally, I am sorry to hear that you and your friends will no longer be visiting our salon. However, if they share your views and attitude, we would prefer they keep away from our business. We stand firm in our commitment to protecting the well-being and dignity of our staff. We value all our clients, wherever they may come from, and strive to provide excellent service, but we will not tolerate bigotry and disrespect."
Will my response to the client be too harsh or is it justified?